Dead Again Short Fics
These fics were originally posted on the Alt.DrWho.Creative newsgroup.
For more of my offbeat fanfiction, check out my homepage The End of the Phoenix.

FORWARD for those who are hopelessly confused by these shorts.

As anyone who has read my work or visited my website knows, I have a long track record of being decidedly pro-Adric in my fanfiction. That doesn't mean I don't understate the character's limitations, or understand why he's one of the least liked characters in all of DW fandom. It's just that I've long held a different view, and have pretty much decided that I'll continue to write things the way I want to regardless of what anyone else thinks. I mention this because the following series of shorts started out as my humorous take on the whole "lets kill off Adric again" sub genre of fan writing. It's part of a larger series of fan writings revolving around a semi-alternate Doctor Who universe known as This Time Round, a series so bizarre I won't even attempt to explain it here but instead point you to the unofficial FAQ. Suffice to say two things about those of us who write for TTR: 1) we don't take continuity all that seriously; and 2) for that matter, neither do we take anything else all that seriously.

As for the stories below: 1) A drabble is a story of exactly 100 words; 2) All more or less fit in the "To Die For" sub-series of TTR. The identity of Adric's unnamed tormentor should be obvious if you think about it, but just in case you don't get the joke I recommend you look through the FAQ cited above for a more complete explanation; 3) Crossovers abound. If you don't get the crossover, I've included a short note at the end (some of them are admittably a little obscure). You have been forewarned.

If there is any interest I'll post more of my TTR work to this archive, including some of the longer stories that I've inflicted upon the universe (Hey, in my defense, I'll point out that a couple of them have actually won a fanfic award or two). As usual, comments and constructive criticism is appreciated, flamers will be taunted in a very bad French accent and told not to bother me a second time, lest they find a very large wooden rabbit flung at them.

--DBK
11 June 2001

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Dead Again
A Drabble
*****

Adric looked down at his body, or what was left of it at any rate.

"You have to give her credit." he said to eternity, "She does do a very thorough job."

He felt the familiar presence from behind, and turned to greet him like an old friend. "I'm really sorry to keep putting you through all of this. It must get rather boring after awhile."

"NO BOTHER. YOU'RE ACTUALLY ONE OF MY FAVOURITE CLIENTS."

"So, how many does this make?"

"ONLY 187. YOU STILL HAVE OVER A MILLION LEFT."

A bony hand extended from the black robes.

"YOUR PUNCHCARD, PLEASE?"

--DBK

NOTE for the crossover impaired:
Crossover with the works of Terry Pratchett.

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Dead Still Again
A Drabble, more or less set in the TTR universe.
*****

"SHE LOOKED VERY DETERMINED THIS TIME. EVEN I WAS IMPRESSED."

"So am I. She must have been in a particularly foul mood."

Adric looked down at his body with morbid fascination, noting first the facehugger on his head and then the bloody, visceral mass that used to be his stomach. "I wonder where she got the Giger Bug..." he muttered to himself.

Death took Adric's proffered punchcard and clipped off another number. "HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED QUITTING? CERTAINLY THERE MUST BE OTHER JOBS AVAILABLE FOR A MATHEMATICIAN OF YOUR CALIBRE."

Adric looked up. "What?" he exclaimed, "And leave show business?"

--DBK

NOTE for the crossover impaired:
A "Giger Bug" is another name for the aliens of Alien and sequels, so named for their original designer H.R. Giger.

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Dead Yet Again
A drabble, more or less in the TTR universe.
*****

"NOW THAT ONE WAS... INTERESTING."

"I'll say. I never knew yo-yo's could be so deadly."

Adric examined the bloody gash opening his head, and then glanced in the direction the figure had gone. "She even wore the sailor-suit high school uniform when she did it." he noted.

"SHE DOES SEEM TO BE A STICKLER FOR DETAILS."

Adric grimaced, and handed over his punchcard. "You know, I just don't understand it. She used to be so quiet and reserved. What in the universe could possibly change her into such a homicidal maniac?"

Death considered. "PERHAPS SHE'S TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING?"

-- DBK
19 March 1999

NOTE for the crossover impaired:
The yo-yo is a reference to the completely bizarro Japanese live-action adventure series Sukeban Deka ("Sorority Detectives"), which is about a group of teenaged crime-fighting high school girls who use as their weapon of choice a bladed, killer yo-yo. I am not making this up. This series is so weird it has to be seen to be believed.

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Dead Again Celebration
A This Time Round: To Die For drabble
*****

"You know, I suppose I should actually feel humbled."

The other figure nodded, slowly.

"I mean, they named the awards after me and all. That's got to count for something."

Another nod.

"And I'm in both Alan's and Erin's winning stories..."

Nod.

"And, well, the moment I saw her name on the ballot, I knew she'd win..."

Nod.

"But... she didn't have to do that on stage in front of everyone, did she?"

Adric looked down at his body, which had a small statuette embedded firmly through his skull.

"BUT SHE DID GET YOU THE LARGEST STANDING OVATION." Death observed.

-- DBK
19 May 1999

NOTE:
Written to commemorate the 1999 Adric Awards on the Rec.Arts.Drwho newsgroup.

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This one is a sequel to Bradley Keith Willis' "On the Nature of Obsession", which ends with the following:

>"Hello, Acme Industries? Yes, I'd like to order a dozen of your
>medium anvils, two crates of dynamite, a giant rubber band..."

Dead Not Again
A Drabble, more or less in the TTR universe.
*****

Adric peered over the edge of the precipice and watched as she fell to the canyon floor below. A small cloud of dust marked the spot where she landed, followed by a vociferous groan of agony as the anvils which had followed her down likewise impacted. Probably on her head, but it was too far away to tell for sure.

Then the falling and lit dynamite exploded.

He watched until the dust settled, just to make certain she was alright.

"Meep, meep." Adric said to himself, straight faced.

After all, it seemed the appropriate thing to say at that point.

--DBK
21 March 1999

NOTE for the crossover impaired:
Do I really have to spell this one out for you?

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Sequel to Paul Gadzikowski's "Nothing New Under the Sun".

Dead Yet Still Again
A TTR:TDF Drabble
*****

Adric gaped at his bodily remains. The only clue as to the method of extinction was a flower pot of petunias at his burnt skull.

"Oh, this is rich." he muttered in amazement. "I give up. This one she has to explain to me."

"I COULD TELL YOU, YOU KNOW."

"No, thank you." Adric said, hurriedly. "It'll give me a chance to, uh..., use those sarcastic barbs I've been practicing." He took back the punchcard and began to fade from view. "See you later."

"IN ABOUT ONE HOUR." Death said, after the Alzarian disappeared.

It must be springtime, Death surmised.

--DBK
1 June 2000

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This one was actually voted "Best Drabble" for the year 2000 Adric Awards.

Dead Again Winged
A Drabble
*****

"At least you don't have yaoi doujinshi to worry about." the grave young man remarked.

Adric shuddered. "No, just an insane psychopathic girl."

"Hell, I'd rather face that."

They watched the two figures impatiently. "What the hell is taking so long?" Adric groaned. "They've been going on for ten minutes."

"I know, and it's getting ridiculous." The young man raised his voice. "Hey, Duo! Come on, man! We're wasting time!"

"Oh, lighten up, Heero!" The pony-tailed boy answered. "It's not every day I get to meet a master professional!"

Death nodded solemnly. "JUST A MINUTE MORE. WE'RE ONLY TALKING SHOP."

--DBK
23 June 2000

NOTE for the crossover impaired:
In Wing Gundam, Duo Maxwell is the pilot of Deathscythe Gundam.

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