HI all. I did this in chinese school cuz everyone's sooooo....slow at the exam...jeez....anyways, this sux too. Go read the alternative, here it is:

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The Alternative
Hi all. This is an alternative chapter 3 (MY CHAPTER 3 is after this one). It was written by my friend Natalie, who has no cable and has never seen escaflowne. She is smart and funny, and her fanfic is probably the best i've read(she's not even a fan). Here it is:

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Merle walked down the streey whistling the new hit song, "I Am a Door Jamb." She walked into the banquet hall for "Who Wants to be a Bride?" Van was sitting at a table smoking a cigar. Smoke wafted from his nostrils, and he had spilled bourbon all over his pants.


"How utterly PUTRID!"Merle shreiked , and hurled her glass slipper at him. Van stood up and sprouted wings.


"Do not mess with me, you ungrateful wench who followed me around five year's ago!" he shouted."And what do you think you're doing here?"


Merle's lip quivered. "I-I-I wanted to be your bride, Van," she sniffed.


Van's expression softened. He pulled off his wings and gave them to the steward to eat for dinner. "Oh, Merle," he said. "You know I'm not in love with you. You're very pretty, but I'm afraid your brain isn't very developed.Come give Vanny a hug."


Merle turned away, trying to hide her tears. "Listen, Van," she saidat last. "I know you must think i'm just a little girl. But I'm not stupid, Van, I know what love is! I'm independent, and I can make my own decisions. Oh, Van, will you marry me?" Merle herad no answer. "Van? Van?" She cautiously peeked over her shoulder. Van had sprouted some more wings and flown up to the rafter. He was no where to be seen. Merle burst into tears. "Van, Van! Oh Van, I love you! You are my sun, my moon, my starlit sky! Without you, I dwell in darkness! I love you! AACK!!!


What's with this?" said a voice. " I think we need to sedate her." A girl with light brown hair was standing in the doorway. It was Hitomi.


"How did you get here?" screamed Merle. "I thought you were still on the Mystic Moon!"


"Oh, I care," said Hitomi sarcastically. "But what's with this Van thing?"


Merle hesitated, "We're going to get married."


Hitomi narrowed her eyes. "You're lying," she deduced.


Merle quiveredin rage. "I would never lie, Hitomi. Do you doubt me?


Just then, Allen walked in and kissed Hitomi passionately on the neck. "Hitomi my darling," hemurmured. "I love you."


"Cut it out!" hissed Hitomi, "suppose Van was here!"


"But he's not," Allen murmured again. Of course, Van was still sitting on the rafter watching them.


"That's true," Hitomi agreed. "But Merle is standing right in front of us."


Allen looked up. "She's is?" he said. "Go away, Merle. You're are interrupting our tete-a-tete."


"Tete-a-tet?!" Merle repeated. "I'm not sure I want to know what that means."


"Then maybe you should leave," Allen snickered.


At that moment, Hitomi spied Van sitting in the rafters. She froze. I'm dead, I'm dead, I'M SO DEAD!!!!


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Well this is it (really funny, isn't it?). If you want more from our alternative author, please sign the guestbook or review on fanfic.net.( This is still called "The brides."


MY CHAPTER 3 is below:



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Chapter 3:



Far away, the newly rebuilt city of Fanelia was seen. All the architure was ahead of its time. Wow, Van really has good tastes, Merle thought. She, on a beautiful black stallion, galloped to the streets of Fanelia. She decided to visit her old orphaned friend, Fiona. It seemed like all the houses on the streets were in alphabetical order. It didn't take long for Merle to find Fiona's house. She knocked on the door. Fiona opened the door and looked at her blankly, "Who the heck are you? You seem so familiar.......FOR THE LOVE OF GAIA! Fiona grasped Merle's arm, "Are you M...Me...Merle?"


Merle said, "What? We've been best friends ever since Lord Balgus found me!" Merle playfully slapped Fiona on the arm.


"My gosh, Merle, how could you blame me? Look at you." Fiona eyed Merle's nicely shaped biceps. "I bet you came back to go to the talent show. You've got no chance, though. I know what kind of girl King Van wants."


"You do?" questioned Merle.


"Well..." Fiona pulled Merle close, as if there were a bunch of people eavesdropping on them, "I'm telling you only because you and I are friends." Fiona hushed her voice, "The people around the castle say that King Van likes girls who can fight a mean battle. Remember don't tell anyone." Fiona snorted.


Merle thought, *Was I really that immature? Or maybe she just never grew up. I better go....she's seems really annoying. Why would she tell me what kind of girl Van likes when she wants him too? What kind of idiot is this?* "Uh, Fiona? I think I wanna go to the local inn now. It's getting kind of late. Can you tell me where it is?"


"You can stay at my place," Fiona said.


*That b*tch! Is she trying to make me feel guilty on purpose? URgh.....*thought Merle. "Uh, no. Really its okay. I wouldn't feel right to just barge into your home. So...where's the inn?"


"Umm..." Merle sensed uncertainty in her voice.


*Oh my gosh! IS she finally getting the hint!? Thank goodness!!!!*


"Yeah, i'll show you the way......."

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In the night, Merle woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. She suddenly had a great urge(SHE'S GOT THE URGE!!!!!:Herbal essence.)to go see Van. She got up to look for her full black body suit.
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What would happen when Merle sees Van? Will Van see her? Will this be a v/h story or v/m? hmmmm......Will the next story suck as much as this one? Who knows....(ohh......)

Disclaimer: I and the author of the Alternative don't own Escaflowne.