Suffer so alone Part 3

Hey! I would just like to say thanks again to all the awesome people who reviewed my stories, and to all those people who have read them. After you read this, PLEASE review, I need to know what direction to take this story. Thanks.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or its characters, but I do own this fanfic.

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Koushiro's heart jumped as he saw the seniors coming towards him, and his walking pace slowed. The seniors continued looking at him, but made no move to speed up their pace or move in on him. He moved over to the left wall of the hallway as they drew closer, and stopped. The seniors kept looking at him, and koushiros heart screamed as they came only a few feet away. He forced himself to not run away, thinking it was better to take what was coming rather than delay it.

The seniors walked straight past him, giving him a few odd looks as they did so, but not slowing down, stopping or making any comments towards him. After they had past him, Koushiro let out the breath he had been holding, and leant his left hand on the wall to steady himself. His beating had been averted for the moment. After a minute or two, he managed to regain his composure, and he came to the realisation that it was impossible for the whole school to know the rumour and know who he was. Looking up at the cafeteria doors, he let out a small whimper, because he knew without a doubt that there were hundreds of people in there who knew the rumour, many of whom who wanted to hurt him undoubtedly.

Many among us would simply decide not to face the situation, to run and hide in the toilets, to cower away and be in fear. Koushiro did not want to be hurt again, but he had lost so must self belief that he had got to the point where he didn't care what happened, a part of him almost wanted him to be beaten, so he would have what was needed to push him over the edge.........push him to the point where he could end it all.

So he sighed slightly and continued walking towards the cafeteria doors, two parts of him each wanting something to happen....conflicting each other. He pushed open the red plywood doors, releasing a barrage of voices, clinking cutlery and plates, punctuated with shout sand laughter at occasions. Looking around, he saw no one had spotted him, so he made his way over to his friends, who were sitting at the same table they occupied every lunchtime.

"Hey Izzy, hows it going?" Asked Sora in a cheery voice.

"Fine." He replied in a rather dull and defensive tone.

"Jeez Izzy I'm sorry, I was just being friendly...." replied Sora in a hurt little voice.

Some friends. Just ignore me and talk about how fantastic Tai is and how good he is at soccer and how much you like him. Thought Koushiro, his face punctuating his thoughts with a sullen, sour scowl.
"Don't you speak to Sora that was Izumi" Tai said in an edgy, sharp voice.

Tai only used peoples last names when he was very angry at them, and because of his blatantly obvious attraction to Sora, it didn't take much to make him angry when anyone spoke poorly to her.

Koushiro didn't reply to this, he just sat there staring at the edge of the table, the scowl on his face getting deeper and he thought about what terrible friends they were to him.

"What do you care" Koushiro grumbled angrily to himself. The others heard what he said and were rather taken back, silently shocked at Koushiro's terrible mindset and mood. They sat there with there mouths slightly ajar, staring at him with dumbfounded eyes.

Tai however, was seething. Since he was 'the leader', he usually took control of these scenes, in his own way. Koushiro was aware of this, Tai had bruised Matt several times back in the digiworld when he was defiant, and he wasn't shy about using his fists to prove a point.

Tai stood up, kicked his chair back with his heel and walked angrily round the small metal table to where Koushiro was, and grabbed him by the shirt collar. He jerked him up violently, much to Koushiros surprise, and pulled him close so his face was only inches away from his own.

"Listen geek, don't you come over here and disrespect us all" Tai said in a quiet voice that was as cold as ice.

Koushiro stared back into Tai's angry brown eyes, rather stunned at how vicious the response to his comment had been. He didn't know what to say. He knew he had been disrespectful to all of them, but he felt angry at the type of friends they had been to him. He felt he had a point he needed to put across to Tai.

"Oh yeah Tai, kiss ass to Sora like you always do, you're just pissed off at everyone cause she won't respond to your advances" Izzy said in a slightly joking tone, not knowing that he had just signed away his friends for life.

"That's it. We're sick of you acting sour all the time and expecting us to care enough to ask you whats wrong. We don't have to take this kinda shit from someone who we once called a friend. Piss off Izzy, we don't want to be friends with you any more".

And with that Tai let go of Koushiro's shirt collar and sat down. Koushiro stood there silent, feeling slightly stunned at what had just happened.

"You heard Tai Izzy, go away." Sora said in a superior, smirking tone.

He remained still for another moment, trying to take in what had just happened. He had cast away his only friends. He was alone now.

Without saying a word, he turned and slowly walked away, out of the cafeteria. Still slightly shocked, he didn't notice the senior that had threatened him earlier in the morning, walking straight towards him circled in a group of friends, all of them staring at Koushiro with evil smiles on their faces.

He was snapped back to reality when the senior slammed him up against one of the banks of lockers for the second time that day.

"Well well faggot, trying to escape?" The senior said in a slightly slurred voice.

Koushiro looked into the seniors glazed eyes, his heart thumped in his chest and he felt weak.

"Wha...what, I'm not escaping, I'm no faggot....." He said in a stressed tone, kicking himself mentally for forgetting about the senior and the rumour.

"Whatever, you look like a fuckin gay anyway, so shut up". " We hate queers, so we're gonna beat the gay out of you so we won't have to hate you" The senior said in a slightly smirking tone, and his jock posse behind him echoed his smirks with dulled laughter. "We'd do it now, but we got practice so you're gonna have to wait." And with that the group walked off, talking noisily, their conversation punctuated by the odd audible swear word and gay slang.

Koushiro closed his eyes and bit his lip, trying not to cry. He had just lost his friends, and had just found out he wouldn't leave here today without being sore again. He beat the lockers slightly with the backs of his fists, angry at himself for being so stupid. He really hated living, and started to think about finally finishing it all after school......