Suffer so alone part 6

Well, so much for getting this out a week after part 5...ehh I know I always say this but I'm sorry, its been months since I posted the last part. But you know how it is, exams etc. Anyway my exams are over with now, so I can finally start writing again, and maybe get this series going again. Here's part 5, which will hopefully refresh your memories about what happened, and if you haven't read any of this series yet, you might want to (series are better when you start from square 1). Anyway thanks to everyone who reviewed my last part, and I'm sorry I didn't take heed of the 'threatening' reviews, maybe I should in future :) ....
Anyway, here's part 5:

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, it is owned by large companies who have got great taste in programmes :).

*****
Suffer so alone part 5

Tai stepped back in fear, hoping that the liquid on his fingers wasn't what he thought it was. His hand swiped blindly for the light switch, and finding it, pushed it down. The room was flooded in strobe light, and the sight that met Tai's eyes in the brief illumination stopped his heart. His mind refused to register what it had seen, racing with a million thoughts, hopes and shocks as his worst fears were shoved at him in millisecond time lengths...

The light finally stopped flickering, and cast the room with a permanent cold, sterile light. The sight that met Tai's eyes hit him like a sledgehammer.

"Wh..wh...w...what...."

He could not believe he was seeing the sight in front of him. He stared down at the floor next to the basin fittment.

The sight that greeted him was one that would remain in his mind as long as he lived. The human brain finds it impossible to forget a sight which is so horrific that all thinking ceases momentarily, and only its primitive side, which is devoid of emotion still functions. Tai did not register what he saw for several seconds....

Koushiro lay in a crumpled lump next to the basin fittment, his body limp and dark. His crushed face was deformed of its shape slightly as it lay heavily on the cold tiled floor, its deep purple bruising contrasting heavily with its white finish. His left eye lay swollen, bruised and rendered ineffective by his position, and his right was barely open, and looked out blankly at Tai with a soulless, glazed view. His sodden clothing scarcely resembled the schools uniform, with its shirt unbuttoned and torn, and pants wet and crushed. But that sight was only part of the image which hit Tai. Koushiro's mangled body lay in a wet crumpled heap on the cold tile, looking barely alive, but the shock to Tai was the blood. Koushiro lay where he had fallen, surrounded by a slick of dark brown and slightly clotted blood. As Tai's eyes took in the scene, they travelled over the slick, to where it had welled from. Koushiros right arm lay cast out from his body, its pale white skin perfect, except for his wrist. A long, deep cut cut its way harshly across the smooth surface, its upper edge ragged with dried blood, its lower edge still punctuated with a slow stream of bright red, which lay pooling next to his waist. His left arm lay down across the floor, so no cut was visible, but it was obvious it had undergone the same treatment.

The scene did not register entirely with Tai. Later, at the hospital, he couldn't recollect the call to the ambulance, the ride to the hospital, or what he had done when they had arrived. He sat silently, staring at the white wall of the hospital waiting room, the stunned look still imprinted on his face, his hands twitching slightly, his mind blank of all reason.

"Tai, Tai honey? Oh god, Tai.."

His mother hurried over to where he was, her face showing her disbelief at what the nurse who had contacted her had said, and her relief that Tai was all right.

"Wh...wha..mo..mom" Tai whispered, shifting his line of sight to her, but still staring in total shock.

"Oh god Tai..i don't...oh god" His mother broke down slightly, then fell forward and hugged him tightly.

His mothers comforting presence broke the ice which was encasing his emotions and understanding of what had happened. The events began to dawn on him, and soon he broke down, letting his emotions run. He wrapped his arms around his mother and began to sob as it sank in.

Kari and his father looked on in stunned silence, the shock of what had happened plainly showing on their faces.

*****
Koujiro Izumi looked down at the pained face of his sleeping wife. He held her body in his arms passively, still reeling from the shock of the phonecall.

He had been typing a report in his hotel room when the phone rung.

"Am I speaking to Mr Koujiro Izumi?" A sombre voice had asked.

"Yes"

"Mr Izumi I have some bad news.....you might want to sit down first"

He had taken the advice, his mind filling with thoughts, the first of which involved his wife in a car crash..

"Mr Izumi, do you have a son named Koushiro?"

"Yes.."

"Mr Izumi, umm.....I'm sorry this is never easy.." The voice had said

"Mr Izumi, your son Koushiro, well...he attempted suicide this afternoon"

The line went deathly quiet. Koujiro simply sat in stunned silence, unable to believe what the voice had told him.

"No, this muss....this must be a mistake, my son's fine..." He stuttered

"I'm terribly sorry to have to call you, but I have to inform next of kin, and I must ask you, will you be able to come and identify your son"

The way the voice said it, it sounded like he had died. Koujiro had muttered something in reply, and then travelled to the airport in a daze. The flight back to Odaiba was a blur, the only thing he could recall was his wife's shattered face, and his sons limp, bruised body in the plain hospital room.

He took off his glasses and wiped his eyes. His wifes sleeping form rested heavily on his chest, her arms curled over his chest, her eyelids red and tightly clenched, her tired body quiet of the sobs that had racked her for hours, earlier on.

He replaced his glasses and shifted his gaze hesitantly to his son. Kojiro felt slightly nauseous every time he looked at him. His son, who had been so perfect, so smart, so precocious, so seemingly void of emotions, had shown his true colours. Kojiro's bottom lip shook slightly as he looked at his sons arms, which were bandaged up to his elbows. He couldn't believe this had happened. He had not seen any signs of pain, heard no cries for help, he had not even been around.....

*****

Well I hope that rekindled your memory, here's part 6:

Suffer so alone part 6

*****

A muffled banging somewhere off in the hospital nudged Tai out of his dozing and the sounds of the quiet room once again came back to him. The space was totally silent except for a sterile electronic beeping and the quiet breathing of his friend. The night had been long for him. He had stayed by his friends bedside the whole night, despite the best efforts of the kindly nurses and his parents, dimly hoping Izzy would awaken. Tai needed to apologise. Guilt lay in him like a brick, constantly reminding him that he was the one responsible for the events that had unfurled over the past day.

He sighed, rubbed his tired eyes and looked up to Izzy's face. He recoiled slightly and blinked at what he saw. Izzy was awake and was staring right at him, his gaze cold, and concentrated by the heavy bruising covering his face.
Tai had planned his apology over the long night hours, but was lost for words with the shock of seeing his friend conscious so soon, and by the look he had on his face...

"Ih..Izzy..you're..you're awake..." Tai said in a stunned voice

Izzy didn't respond, but his cold stare softened slightly and his lip started to tremble. He looked away quickly and concentrated on the large window on the other side of the room. A light rain fell softly from the deep grey sky, and Izzy stared out to it, fighting back the wave of emotion that had overwhelmed him. He didn't want Tai to see him cry. No, it wasn't anything to do with the male emotionally impassive culture, it was the anger he felt towards him at that moment. He was angry at Tai for how he had acted towards him, angry at Tai for being there in the room, angry at Tai for saving him.

"Izzy I'm sorry" Tai said quickly, but the shock robbed the apology of the effect he had been hoping for.

To Tai's disbelief Izzy snorted sarcastically and asked in a flat, sarcastic voice

"Why?"

Tai was phased by Izzy's reply, he had been expecting him to be a bit disoriented and emotionally straught, but instead he was seemingly angry, and Tai got the unpleasant feeling the anger was aimed at him.

"Fo..for making you,..you know, d..do it..." Tai trailed off, despite the situation, he was unsure of bringing up yesterdays events.

Izzy turned back to Tai, but the sadness on his face had been replaced with anger. His eyes were burning with emotion, and his forehead was creased with a look of hatred.

"Oh don't flatter yourself. You honestly think I'd do this because of you guys? Ha! Gimme a break" He said loudly, the tone of his voice causing Tai to shift in his seat uncomfortably.

Izzy turned back to the window, the look of anger still burning on his face. Tai stared at him in disbelief, totally dumbstruck at what to say next.

"Bu..but the th..thing with me yelling at you and then not doing anything with that fight and stuff" He managed to stutter out an unsure reason for the situation

"You think I wanted your help? God..You know nothing about me.. and you know something else, it really pisses me off the way you think you have to act like the boss all the ti.." Izzy couldn't finish his barrage, he turned away quickly from Tai and fought back tears for the second time.

"Izzy I'm sorry...I guess since I was the leader in the digital world I sorta kept doing it when we got back here, but I didn't know you didn't like it.., what can I say except that I'm sorry"

Tai looked at Izzy hoping from a response, but saw the younger boy was fighting back tears. Tai felt awful, as leader of the group he felt a sense of responsibility for them, and this event had shaken the view he had of his leadership qualities.

He stood up gingerly and moved closer to the bed. Izzy felt his presence and shifted his gaze to Tai's face. He looked away quickly, not wanting for Tai to see him crying.

"Izzy please, I'm sorry for how I've been treating you, and about that whole thing yesterday at lunch..please, I'm really sorry..." Tai trailed off, the same way Izzy had. He was overcome with a tense feeling that he was never going to forgive him, and it was choked up in the back of his throat.

"Ta..tai, its not your fault..please, I need to think for a while, maybe you should go see your parents" Even in his fraught emotional state he was still a logical thinker, though his voice was quiet and wavering as he tried not to cry.

Tai nodded and walked quietly out of the room, closing the door quietly and leaving his friend alone, staring out the window at the grey city.

******

The rain was light and misty, and Tai shivered slightly as he sat on a bench in the deserted park. He was soaked, his wild hair plastered flat over his scalp, his goggles clasped in his hands, his head turned towards the ground so the scarce passer-by's wouldn't see him crying. A weak smile flashed across his face as he thought of how Izzy would have dealt with his parents. He knew for a fact that he wasn't very open with his them, the times he had accompanied him to his house the only contact he gave them was a wave and a small hello in passing as they went to his room. Tai imagined he was like that most of the time, and that interactions on an emotion level had probably had and never would happen. He was emotionally shy with their whole group, the times when things were obviously troubling him, he simply said it was too much homework and smiled, but Tai saw the false smile fade the instant he thought no eyes were upon him. Once when the two of them were alone he had confronted him about what was wrong, but Izzy had refused to talk and simply told him that he was stressing over his school grades. Since he was uncomfortable talking Tai had nodded and gone along with the story, although he knew Izzy didn't think he was fooling him.

A raindrop clung to the end of Tai's eyebrow, causing his eye to twitch and to bring him back to the real world. He looked up over the grey park and remembered the one time it had rained back in the Digiworld. The group were sheltering in a large cave which opened out into a small clearing surrounded by dense forest, and they had all been sleeping soundly after a long day of walking. Tai had awoken deep in the night to see two figures huddling together at the mouth of the cave, which was only a few metres where he lay at the outskirts of the group. Their voices were low, scarcely audible over the falling rain, although one was punctuated every now and again with a small gasp and choking, as if the person was crying. The other figure, who was taller spoke in soft, low tones every so often, which made the smaller one cry further. It took little time for Tai to realise it was Sora and Izzy. As he listened he soon realised why he spent so long behind his laptop's screen, and why he spoke only when the situation required it. They had talked for a further hour, and then after a reassuring embrace Sora had silently stood and returned to her bed, pausing slightly by Tai, as if to confirm a suspicion. He had closed his eyes when she stood up, and kept them that way until she had passed by him. He watched the small huddled figure silhouetted by the scarce moonlight remain, sniffling slightly and rubbing his eyes. The next morning the two of them frequently exchanged glances, and the darkness under Izzys eyes had intensified his sad gaze as he hid away behind his computer.

Thunder rolled across the quiet park bringing reality once again, and Tai unconsciously raised a hand to his face to wipe away the rain, but gave up halfway and let it fall back to his side. He became aware night had begun to roll in, and the thought that he should get home before his parents began to worry crossed his mind, but he didn't feel up to their sympathy and well wishes and felt his own company was what he wanted. Thunder rolled again and the misty rain which had been falling throughout the day began to fall in drives. Tai barely noticed, lost in his own thoughts as night rolled in and an ill wind began to drive.