Suffer so alone part 8

I'd just like to sincerely thank everyone who's reviewed this series so far, and I'm sorry it's all taken so long.
*****
Sora yawned and rolled over, then glanced at her bedside alarm.

7.02 am

She yawned again and turned away from the glowing red digits, basking in the glorious feeling that it was Sunday and activity did not have to happen for several hours to come.

Matt.

His name flashed through her mind, causing her to open her eyes and discard the lazy bliss. He had never called back last night. She remembered sitting in the lounge until her mother returned, around 1 am, fidgeting and waiting for the phone to ring. Ms Takenouchi was surprised to see her daughter still up, she hadn't been angry, but Sora usually exited around ten, siting having to rise at 6.30 the next morning her reason. She had made Tea while they talked, and they had sat quietly whilst drinking it, which made Sora feel comfortable, her mother's presence gave security. Finally she had sighed and said she was ready to sleep, and Sora had agreed. They said goodnight and parted, feeling strangely warm and loving to each other, more so than normal.

*****
"Matt"

"MATT!!"

Matt stirred at the sound of his name and opened his sleepy eyes a fraction to see his father, pyjama-clad and looking rather irritated, towering above his bed holding the phone with an outstretched hand.

"It's Sora, tell her to call later in future"

He handed the phone to Matt and ambled out the door back to his room.

"Hello" Matt mumbled in a flat voice

"Matt, its Sora, I hope this isn't too inconvenient.."

"Don't worry, its fine" Matt replied, naturally the polar opposite of what he was thinking

"Matt, why didn't you call me back last night?"

He sighed and shuffled round onto his back, and let out a small yawn

"I didn't get back until 10.30, and knowing you I would have woken you if I'd called at that time"

"Oh, I stayed up waiting for you..why did it take so long? You left at nine didn't you?"

"Yeah, I went To Izzy's and there was no one home, so I waited round for a bit trying to figure out what to do"

"So...what did you do?"

"I.. I walked round a bit, seeing if any of his neighbours were home"

"And were they?"

"No, they were all out, or asleep or something, I'm sorry"

"Bu.." Sora was at a loss for words. Something had happened. She knew it.

"Are..you Ok?" Matt wasn't particularly sure what to say either, he didn't really understand the situation she was in

"Yeah,..yeah I'll be Ok, sorry to have bothered you Matt, I'll see you at school"

She hung up before he could reply. Matt sat looking at the phone, wondering about Izzy and what was going on.

*****

The soft rain was falling once again after the evenings raging stand, the muffled grey Odaiba sky once again framing the trees and grass of the park, which stood silent.

The park was silent, the rain being more of a baffle then a disturbance.

Tai's eyes stared blankly onto this scene. Infantile drops of rain dotted his sodden form, his face animated by occasional flinches but otherwise hollow, far-gone. His mind was empty, his body still. Thought would predict that movement would be uncomfortable. But no thoughts ran through, an empty state of bare consciousness had taken him. His goggles, once symbols of courage and support, lay on the debris ridden grass under the bench, which was sickly and sparse from uncaring feet too involved in their own thoughts to care.

He had stumbled to this bench last night in a choked daze, his friend's cold sentiment casting his dawned fears to the reality he had feared. Izzy had been unwilling to take his apologies and remorsed feelings to heart. He had not wanted the people who were nonchalant before to make their false amends at a time where he was too scared and embarrassed to engage in human contact.

So now Tai lay slumped on the bench, his body tired and seized from a night exposed to the uncaring elements, the few passer-bys too hardened by big city living to cast more than a single glance at him. Sometime after he had arrived, a feeling of sickness had forced him to lie down, he had cried, dry painful retches, his emotional balance blind sided, the image of his friend lying crumpled in his own blood still burning in his mind. He had not slept, his mind painfully running over the horrific event he had endured, his body shaking as the wind dragged the rain screaming to its death on his weakened form.

His body had given up the fight sometime in the am, he had ceased shivering and just lay there submissive. He was now beyond reclaiming control. He lay stranded on the bench, his tired and racked body tiredly scraping at the light, his mind empty.

*****

Sora clacked the pen onto the wooden tabletop, collected her shoulder bag and left the apartment with a mission, leaving an efficient and clear note for her mother. She pulled the zipper on her jacket up as she hurried purposefully along the empty footpath, small droplets of rain slicking her face, which was set with concentration as she covered the six blocks to the modern and imposing Odaiba hospital. Her chest tightened as she passed through the sliding doors, her fears about to be either rejected or confirmed, the latter she almost hoped for, she was blank for ideas on where to look for him if the response was negative.

She solemnly walked to the reception desk and waited silently for the nurse who was filing a patients file (as seemed to be the task hospital receptionists were always doing). The nurse glanced up at her but made no effort to complete her task any faster, instead continuing at her own pace until she felt ready to Service Sora.

"Yes dear, can I help you?"

"Yes, I was just wondering if a friend of mine has been admitted over the past couple of days"

"What was the name?"

"Izumi, Koushiro"

"Just a moment please"

The nurse sat down at a computer and typed away. Sora looked around the reception area, she didn't know why, it just seemed the thing to do in these situations.

"Yes, he's here"

Sora's heart froze slightly, but she nervously motioned a question

"Ca..are you able to tell me if he's Ok?"

*****

Beads of water formed slowly, then ran down the varnished cherry finish to disappear in the blackness. Tai watched them dazed, the flat, sombre voice reading the eulogy lulling him deeper. He stood silently, his eyes glazed looking at the polished finish of the coffin that lay before him, hovering above the black pit that would shortly claim his friend for eternity. The other six were standing next to him, equally silent and dazed as they listened to the life of their former ally.
They were surrounded by a larger group of adults, some sniffing lightly, but most just silent, wiping the drops of rain from hats or hair. The cemetery was silent except for the noise of the falling rain, punctuated every so often by the sound of a large drop striking the plastic cover of the book the minister was reading from.

The minister finished him reading and quietly closed his book before laying it down on the chair next to him. He motioned to an older man who moved to the coffins edge and began lowering it into the grave. The minister finished his prayer and the surrounded adults mumbled an amen. They then turned and silently walked back to the driveway. The six remained standing silently, watching the coffin disappear out of sight, until it stopped and the man left the graveside.
They were left standing alone, the clacking of rain on the plastic chairs behind them the only sound.

None of them spoke, they just remained until Matt's mother came up him and motioned they should leave. Taking TK's hand she led them away. It was not long until Mimi broke into a fit of sobs and ran from the graves edge, and eventually Joe left with Kari, leaving Tai and Sora standing alone.

Finally Sora broke the silence.

"It's been awhile since I found out, and I got to do a lot of thinking while you were in hospital"

Tai had been discovered, unconscious on the park bench and been taken to hospital. He had spent a week recovering, with Sora by his bedside always.

"The image of his eyes when you pulled me away that lunchtime is still in my mind, he was calling for my help..and..yo..you dragged me away" She turned away and clasped her hands as she fought back tears, the picture of Izzy's desperate eyes filling her mind and hammering her that it was Tai who stopped her from saving him, and saving his life.

Tai didn't reply, he just stood there motionless, eyes staring unfocused on the black pit in front of him. He heard what she said and he knew everyone, including Izzy's parents blamed him for his friends death, he knew that the way he had acted that lunchtime was what pushed him over. But it was impossible to think about, that if he had looked past his own selfish lust towards Sora to the friendship which everyone had made such a big deal about, Izzy would never have walked out of the cafeteria that lunchtime, he would never have met those seniors that afternoon, and even if he had they would have helped him.

The way he had dragged Sora away would remain in her mind as the cause of her friends death, there wasn't a word to describe the feeling she now felt towards him, that one of her best friends who she had shared so much with in the past was exiled to try and cope with something he couldn't. She broke into sobs as she thought of how scared and insecure he had been and how she had helped him, and how his old foes had come back to hurt him and he had never said anything to her, he had tried to handle them by himself and she had never had the chance to rescue him.

Tai shifted his gaze as he heard Sora break into crying, but didn't move. What had happened could not even bear thinking, but when the image of Izzy dying on the bathroom floor flashed through his mind he knew that would eventually be him dying, he couldn't live with the knowledge he had killed him. No one would ever be able to convince him otherwise because he knew it was the truth, and that his friends knew likewise.

Sora turned to look at Tai, her face clenched as tears streamed down her face, her eyes sickened and angry. She fought to take a breath to talk

"I never even got to talk to him, to tell him I still cared, when I came in the next day to see him they told me he died in the night, toxic shock or something"

She paused and fought for breath again, before looking over at Tai, who was looking at her vacantly, his eyes hollow

"Tai..he died alone..I never got to tell him we still cared.." She couldn't say anymore and ran from the grave. Tai was left standing alone, Sora's words burning in his mind


He died alone..

Tai collapsed to his knees next to the grave and remained, unable to cry or speak. As the last car moved away from the road below the grave, he was left alone and fallen at his friend's grave, as the light, misty rain fell over the cemetery.