Chapter Eight: The Astral Plane
"Jean?" Scott asks, staring down his beautiful fiance. "I don't know whether or not you can hear me, but there are some things I want to say to you." Scott takes her hand in his and kisses it. She doesn't move. She just lays there, almost catatonic. "You know that I love you, don't you?" he asks. "I have always loved you. From the first time I saw you walk down these halls I knew I loved you. You were so beautiful to me. I could see all my hopes and dreams reflected in you."
A tear rolls down Scott's face. "Don't ever leave me, Jean," Scott says. "I don't think I could bear the loss. Too many people I have loved have left me. You are the other part of me. I would die without you. I love you." Still Jean does not move. She just lies there. He holds her hand and lays his head down on her chest and, despite his macho exterior, cries.
The saddest thing about this discussion isn't what Scott has said, but the fact that Jean cannot hear him. For the first time since they gave in to their love for one another, Jean cannot hear her fiance. The only thing she can hear is the voice.
"So, Jeannie?" the voice asks. "Do you feel better now that you don't have to hide?"
Around her, Jean can see the black emptiness of the Astral Plane. It is a place she has only been twice before, once when her friend Annie died and once when she used cerebro. Both trips have had their own personal affect on her. One of them felt like a death, and the other a rebirth.
This is the land of the Psychics. Xavier had never gotten around to showing Jean how to navigate through this terrain. Around her, images of clouds and fog swirl around, showing faces and images she remembers well. She can see her mother and father, her sister, Annie, Scott, Charles, Ororo, Logan...all the people who have mattered to her in her life.
"Why are you showing me this?" Jean asks the voice. "Why are we even here?"
"I am here to help you. How many times must I tell you that?" the voice taunts.
Jean looks away in aggravation. She seems to be getting nowhere with this voice and has about given up hope of ever knowing its origin or why it insists on--
"Haunting me?' you ask," the voice intercedes. "I'm not haunting you, I am only trying to free your mind."
"Then tell me who you are," Jean insists.
The voice remains silent for a few moments. "Do you like playing games, Jean?" the voice asks. "I know you do." Jean looks up puzzled, trying to find the person's origin. Here on the astral plane, she should be able to use here telepathy to spot out the person who speaks, but she can't. "Don't try to look for me, you will never see me." Jean looks down in defeat.
"I'll tell you what, Jean," the voice replies. "I will give you some hints to who I am."
The smoglike appearance of the astral plane seems to swirl and churn, like a tornado. The images fall into place. A sunny day, blue sky...not a single cloud. The grass is green and the House in the background is as beautiful as she remembers it. She looks through the window and sees her mother, Elaine, sitting on the couch knitting. She was so beautiful. Her blonde hair was always pulled back tightly, her sweaters over white blouses and knee length skirts always made Jean think of her mother as Donna Reid. She was always so smart and beautiful, too.
"What are we doing here?" Jean asks. She feels like Scrooge being shown the past, but this day was not Christmas. It was a much sadder day. She hears two girls giggling and laughing. She turns around and sees Annie, running with a beach ball. A few seconds later, she can see herself at the age of 11. These two were planning on going to Cape Cod that day. It may have been a long trip, but they could bear it. They had wanted to see the Cape for a long time now. Jean smiles at the sights before her eyes. She was so happy then, content to run and play with her best friend.
"Catch!" Annie shouted as she threw the big ball to Jean. Jean smiled very largely and caught the ball, although it bounced to the ground. She laughed and looked up at Annie, who was standing with her legs apart, looking as though she was about to play the big game for the championship. Jean laughed and threw the ball back to her.
The ball missed Annie's grasp and began to roll across the yard. Annie turned back to Jean and showed a slight hint of anger. "She hated chasing that ball," Jean recalls out loud. She laughs to herself. "Every time she would miss it she would give me that look."
Annie took off after the ball while little Jean giggled behind her. The ball rolled out into the road and stopped. Annie didn't pay mind to the traffic as she ran out into the road to get the ball. The face of the adult Jean shifts very swiftly from happiness to sadness, as she recalls what will happen next. She hides her face and turns away.
She opens her mouth to scream "No" and in unison, the younger version of herself says the same thing. The younger jean looks into the road, as Annie turns her face back to jean, puzzled. "What are you--" Annie began. She was not able to finish that sentence. Behind her, a speeding car slams its brakes, as you can hear the rubber of the tires squealing. In an instant, the young Jean sees her friend flying into the air a few feet, landing limply on the other side of her Dad's Cadillac.
The adult Jean holds out her hands, trying to force her telekinesis to grab Annie out of harms way. It wasn't the impact that had killed her; it was when she fell back to the ground that was responsible for her death. She knows that now. Her powers seem to fall on faux people.
"You can't change it, Jean," the voice says, sounding as if it had been crying at the sight as well. "You know that...these are your memories," the voice acknowledges.
Almost at once, both Jean and her younger self run over to where Annie lay. The young Jean falls down and grabs the girl in her arms. The tears are streaming down her face. She can remember this moment far beyond any other moment in her life. This was the moment that Jean Grey became a mutant. This was the day that she evolved. The young girl clutches her friend tight. She feels it, like a hot knife to butter, cutting threw her mind.
The adult Jean holds the front of her forehead as she remembers that distinct pain. The young Jean has touched a mind for the first time in her life. She doesn't know what is happening...but she can feel her friend die. Her dying thoughts echo in Jean's mind, even to this day.
The adult Jean turns her back on the sight and notices that the memories have fallen away. She wipes the tears from her eyes and addresses the voice. "Why did you show me this?" she demanded. "What does this possibly have to do with you?"
The voice responds. "Just think about it a little while Jean. Think about the consequences of this day. You'll figure it out."
Jean looks around into the blackness of the Astral plane once more and closes her eyes. When she opens them again, she sees images which both excite and disturb her. For some reason beyond her understanding, she doesn't question them. She just lets them run their course.
Across the city, Emma Frost opens her eyes and smiles.
