(Don't own nothing to do with Gundam Wing)
The small, white mini van careened dangerously in and out of traffic as the elderly self proclaimed Shinigami took it apon himself to add a little life to the group of ex-pilots. Holding onto the wheel as if life itself depended on him to do so, he cut a hard right and bounced merrily onto a side street.
"Damnit, Duo! Slow down!" Heero snapped from his perch in the back seat.
"This seats too hard." Chang complained, the rampaging ford the least of his concerns.
"You wouldn't know hard if it bit ya." Yuy grumped as Wufei's eyes widened.
"Take that back, Heero!"
"No."
"Take it back you stubburn bastard!"
"I won't and you can't make me!"
Silence descended apon the small group of elderly men as the driving was left unattended, for the driver had turned his upper body to survey to see whether the two ancient asians were going to lock swords... er walkers and canes in battle.
The next events occured for our group of happy hero's in excruiating slo-mo.
Children, clinging to the hands of their parents, turn to gasp in awe as the small white van begins to seemingly float in air, after it's tire strikes a curb and sends it bouncing and then flying, as it is the only thing that is dwelling in the land of Slo-mo.
A large group of birds sqwak and take flight from a nearby park.
Water drips slowly from a leaky faucet.
A crossdresser is goosed in upstate New York.
A jar of pickles refuses to be opened, causing the openee to suffer a mild temper tantrum.
I can't believe it's not butter.
A cat gets sprayed with a water gun to deter it from sharpening it's claws on the expensive leather couch its human just bought.
Just inches away from a similar minivan, this one maroon, Duo creeps open his door and steps out feebly. "Macdonalds! I'm starving!"
Growling softly, Yuy clambers out, ready to throttle the elderly Maxwell with his bared, gnarled hands. "You could'a killed us ya moron!"
"Well... we gotta get there somehow, why not have fun in the process, ne Heero?"
"Bakayaro.."
"Duo." Quatre wheezed as Trowa helped him out of the open side sliding door. "You haven't had your liscense in thirty years or more, I don't think that you should have done this! We could have gotten into trouble!"
"Don't worry about it!" Shinigami reassured. "If we're lucky, we'll make it home in once peice."
"That's it. I'm calling the onna's to come get us."
"Listen to yourself, 'Fei."
"Don't be right, Maxwell!" The elderly Chinese man growled to his braided counterpart. "Of all things to be right about, don't be right about me needing the help of a weak woman.... damn weak... weak...weak damn woman... let's go inside."
"Pull the door open, Maxwell... not push." Heero growled, now fidgeting from one foot to the other, as the excitement of the day was finally catching up with him.
"Wha? I'm doing this right, now shut up and get out of my way!"
"Pull the damn door to OPEN it, pushing doesn't work!"
"I. AM. Pulling!" Duo bit to his best friend.
"Hurry up and get us in, ya baka!" Wufei yelled, waving his cane threatenly at Maxwell's head. "There's an old woman over there staring at me!"
"She won't bite you, Wufei." Quatre chuckled.
"Shut up, ya blond headed, sissyfied, wimp of a weak damn onna!" Chang challenged. He quickly shrank back and scowled as Trowa moved to him, a dangerous look in his eyes. Quatre only looked at Wufei from the side of Trowa's shoulder with a look akin to 'Ha ha!'
"Don't feel bad, 'Fei. There's a man over there staring at Heero's jugs." Duo cackled feebly as he struggled to push against the door.
"OMAE O KORUSU!" Heero bellowed. The four other ex-pilots burst into racuas laughter, followed by a rather loud wheezing and coughing fit.
"I have to admit." Winner stated as he watched the ongoing struggle between the door and Shinigami. "When I heard we were to go and play Bingo... I rather thought this day was going to be boring. Turns out, so far, so good." He beamed up to Trowa and Wufei.
Both pilots nodded to him in silent agreement.
Finally growing weary of watching the braided baka push against the door clearly marked 'Pull', Heero grabbed the handle and pulled, not bothered in the least by Maxwell's slight weight.
"A HA! Success!" Duo crowed, then yelled, exclaiming loudly as Heero grabbed the edge of the door and gave a mighty tug on it, sending Maxwell staggering and pinwheeling for balance as the door swung open.
"Never stand between a man and the bathroom when he's gotta go!" Heero growled as he shuffled as quickly as he could to the men's room, illiciting a soft groan from Quatre.
"Really, guys. A little more manners in publ.. Duo!!" He cried out as the ex-Deathscythe pilot did his best flounce up to the condiment bar.
~~~
Two hours later found our young... ancient hero's sitting around a table, arguing quietly the repercussions of just HOW they were going to get home.
"I can drive us, guys! Sheesh, I got us HERE didn't I?!"
"You got us here via our van screaming sideways through four lanes of oncoming traffic." Heero remarked dryly.
"And not one scratch on it too! Damn, I still got it!" Shinigami cackled.
"I think we should call Clara to come and get us." Quatre reasoned with reason.
"Hey! I know! Let's go to a pool hall! Been a while since I got the chance to shoot a good game!" Duo all but bounced (As well as an 82 year old man could) in his seat.
"No. We go home. Matlock will be coming on at 6:00. I don't miss Matlock."
"Yeah, you wouldn't, Mr. Kiss my justice ass."
~TBC!
The small, white mini van careened dangerously in and out of traffic as the elderly self proclaimed Shinigami took it apon himself to add a little life to the group of ex-pilots. Holding onto the wheel as if life itself depended on him to do so, he cut a hard right and bounced merrily onto a side street.
"Damnit, Duo! Slow down!" Heero snapped from his perch in the back seat.
"This seats too hard." Chang complained, the rampaging ford the least of his concerns.
"You wouldn't know hard if it bit ya." Yuy grumped as Wufei's eyes widened.
"Take that back, Heero!"
"No."
"Take it back you stubburn bastard!"
"I won't and you can't make me!"
Silence descended apon the small group of elderly men as the driving was left unattended, for the driver had turned his upper body to survey to see whether the two ancient asians were going to lock swords... er walkers and canes in battle.
The next events occured for our group of happy hero's in excruiating slo-mo.
Children, clinging to the hands of their parents, turn to gasp in awe as the small white van begins to seemingly float in air, after it's tire strikes a curb and sends it bouncing and then flying, as it is the only thing that is dwelling in the land of Slo-mo.
A large group of birds sqwak and take flight from a nearby park.
Water drips slowly from a leaky faucet.
A crossdresser is goosed in upstate New York.
A jar of pickles refuses to be opened, causing the openee to suffer a mild temper tantrum.
I can't believe it's not butter.
A cat gets sprayed with a water gun to deter it from sharpening it's claws on the expensive leather couch its human just bought.
Just inches away from a similar minivan, this one maroon, Duo creeps open his door and steps out feebly. "Macdonalds! I'm starving!"
Growling softly, Yuy clambers out, ready to throttle the elderly Maxwell with his bared, gnarled hands. "You could'a killed us ya moron!"
"Well... we gotta get there somehow, why not have fun in the process, ne Heero?"
"Bakayaro.."
"Duo." Quatre wheezed as Trowa helped him out of the open side sliding door. "You haven't had your liscense in thirty years or more, I don't think that you should have done this! We could have gotten into trouble!"
"Don't worry about it!" Shinigami reassured. "If we're lucky, we'll make it home in once peice."
"That's it. I'm calling the onna's to come get us."
"Listen to yourself, 'Fei."
"Don't be right, Maxwell!" The elderly Chinese man growled to his braided counterpart. "Of all things to be right about, don't be right about me needing the help of a weak woman.... damn weak... weak...weak damn woman... let's go inside."
"Pull the door open, Maxwell... not push." Heero growled, now fidgeting from one foot to the other, as the excitement of the day was finally catching up with him.
"Wha? I'm doing this right, now shut up and get out of my way!"
"Pull the damn door to OPEN it, pushing doesn't work!"
"I. AM. Pulling!" Duo bit to his best friend.
"Hurry up and get us in, ya baka!" Wufei yelled, waving his cane threatenly at Maxwell's head. "There's an old woman over there staring at me!"
"She won't bite you, Wufei." Quatre chuckled.
"Shut up, ya blond headed, sissyfied, wimp of a weak damn onna!" Chang challenged. He quickly shrank back and scowled as Trowa moved to him, a dangerous look in his eyes. Quatre only looked at Wufei from the side of Trowa's shoulder with a look akin to 'Ha ha!'
"Don't feel bad, 'Fei. There's a man over there staring at Heero's jugs." Duo cackled feebly as he struggled to push against the door.
"OMAE O KORUSU!" Heero bellowed. The four other ex-pilots burst into racuas laughter, followed by a rather loud wheezing and coughing fit.
"I have to admit." Winner stated as he watched the ongoing struggle between the door and Shinigami. "When I heard we were to go and play Bingo... I rather thought this day was going to be boring. Turns out, so far, so good." He beamed up to Trowa and Wufei.
Both pilots nodded to him in silent agreement.
Finally growing weary of watching the braided baka push against the door clearly marked 'Pull', Heero grabbed the handle and pulled, not bothered in the least by Maxwell's slight weight.
"A HA! Success!" Duo crowed, then yelled, exclaiming loudly as Heero grabbed the edge of the door and gave a mighty tug on it, sending Maxwell staggering and pinwheeling for balance as the door swung open.
"Never stand between a man and the bathroom when he's gotta go!" Heero growled as he shuffled as quickly as he could to the men's room, illiciting a soft groan from Quatre.
"Really, guys. A little more manners in publ.. Duo!!" He cried out as the ex-Deathscythe pilot did his best flounce up to the condiment bar.
~~~
Two hours later found our young... ancient hero's sitting around a table, arguing quietly the repercussions of just HOW they were going to get home.
"I can drive us, guys! Sheesh, I got us HERE didn't I?!"
"You got us here via our van screaming sideways through four lanes of oncoming traffic." Heero remarked dryly.
"And not one scratch on it too! Damn, I still got it!" Shinigami cackled.
"I think we should call Clara to come and get us." Quatre reasoned with reason.
"Hey! I know! Let's go to a pool hall! Been a while since I got the chance to shoot a good game!" Duo all but bounced (As well as an 82 year old man could) in his seat.
"No. We go home. Matlock will be coming on at 6:00. I don't miss Matlock."
"Yeah, you wouldn't, Mr. Kiss my justice ass."
~TBC!
