Author note/disclaimer: I don't own Sephy or Keffy. McBarretts, Hamka (Keffy's hamster... Don't ask why a hamster. Just accept it!) and the small T-Rex are both mine. Kefka is trying to sink Sephy deeper into insanity. And he almost succeeds. Poor little Sephy still hasn't unpacked completely yet!!
Enjoy! Chapter three might have a little bit of Sephy getting his own back!!
VOOM
Sephiroth opened his eyes and growled. He was tired. He burrowed his head further into his pillow and screamed, knowing that the soft fabric would muffle his yell. In the apartment next door, he heard a little chuckle, and then silence.
Thinking that he was finally being allowed to have some sleep, Sephiroth let out a sigh and closed his eyes. He was just about to drift off when...
VOOM
'AAARGH!'
Five hours later...
VOOM
Sephiroth rolled his tired eyes, spiking another froot loop with a cocktail stick and popping it into his mouth. Yesterday, after cleaning all that rhubarb-scented "present" from his neighbour off his walls, he had been so exhausted that he had gone right to sleep. That was until Kefka had started VOOMing next door. Occasionally, the VOOM would be accompanied by a maniacal cackle. But Sephiroth wasn't surprised about that.
VOOM
Sephiroth looked at his watch, counting the seconds.
'Exactly six hours... He's been doing that since two in the morning...' He couldn't help but wonder what exactly Kefka was doing to create a VOOM noise, but knowing his luck, it wasn't going to be a pretty sight.
VOOM
Sephiroth groaned, getting up off his sofa and trudging over to his bathroom. He had to go to work.
'That restuarant won't dedicate itself...' he muttered.
Ten minutes later, our hero was sleepily brushing his teeth, wincing every time a VOOM was heard from next door.
'Don't you need to do anything but VOOM?' he muttered, dumping the toothbrush and grabbing Masamune.
VOOM
He took a moment to look at the wall that seperated him from the clown next door. By the sound of things, the wall wasn't particularly thick or sturdy. *Wouldn't be that hard to break down...* he thought. *Bet I could get in there, snap the little creep's neck and be out of there before he can say "Uwhee hee urgh"...* The mere thought of that brought a smirk to Sephiroth's tired face, and he made a mental note to try that later.
'Muah hah hah...' he cackled, grabbing his keys and heading out of the door, slamming the door in time with the VOOM that accompanied his exit.
As soon as his neighbour had left his apartment and headed into the elevator at the end of the hall, Kefka's door opened just a touch. The demented clown poked his head out of the door and giggled. After ducking back into his own apartment for a few seconds, he snickered evilly and sneaked towards Sephiroth's apartment; lock picking tools in hand.
Sephiroth opened his door, shuffled in a few feet and collapsed on the floor. He was never, ever, ever going to dedicate a branch of McBarrett's ever again. Ever.
'The kids and the screaming and the tasteless burgers and the constant signing of autographs and always being upstaged by that spiky little freak named after a weather disturbance!' he growled, rolling over onto his back and closing his eyes.
'But at least the clown next door has shut up... Must have found a circus to join...' He smirked slightly, a little upset that he wouldn't be able to exact his revenge for the rhubarb-blood bomb.
'Now I can get some... Zzzzz...'
...
All was quiet. Not a creature stirred. Not even the minature T-Rex that Kefka had left in Sephiroth's apartment made a noise. Instead, the small reptile crept up to the FF7 villan and sniffed him. Then, it licked his face. Sephiroth, smirked.
'Aeeeeris... Not in public! Hee hee hee... Zzzz...' he muttered. The T-Rex frowned. And then, it roared. Really quietly.
'...roar...'
Moments later, Kefka poked his head around the door and frowned. He had been waiting for the animalistic roar, and he had heard the lizard equivilant of a kitten's whimper.
'What the heck kinda roar was that?! You're a shame to your prehistoric ancestors!!' he whispered to the T-Rex. The reptile sniffed slightly and moved to rub it's head against Kefka's leg. Kefka contemplated frying the small beast, but smirked instead and punted the T-Rex out of Sephiroth's window.
'UWHA...' he started, then noted Sephiroth stirring in his sleep. 'Oh... uwhaa haa haa...' he whispered, wondering what he was going to do next. He had always wanted to scare the neighbours with a T-Rex, but these apartments were so small. So, he had "persuaded" (we all know what Keffy means by persuasion) one of the scientists at Square Co to clone a mini T-Rex for him. But the damned thing was a wimp. Kefka's pet hamster had scared the damned thing. Mind you, his pet hamster was the hamster equivilant of him, so there were no surprises there.
Kefka started to pace the floor, ignoring Sephiroth as he talked in his sleep.
'What to do...? What to do...?'
'Voom... eergh...' Sephiroth mumbled, shuddering at the same time. Kefka lit up as bright as the proverbial lightbulb that appeared over his head.
'Uwhee hee hee!!' He rubbed his hands together, and cackled again before disappearing out of Sephiroth's apartment.
Sephiroth was having a nice dream. Aeris was his wife, and he lived in a nice little house (complete with flower bed and picket fence) with no psychotic clown living next door. He was stood on his nicely pressed lawn, watching as Cloud and Barrett watered his petunias.
'No slacking, Strife!' Sephiroth yelled, taking another puff on his pipe. Cloud turned towards him with am apologetic look on his face.
'Voom!' he replied. Sephiroth frowned.
'Uhh... Yeah...' Turning away from the pointy haired garden assistant, Sephiroth caught sight of his lovely wife.
'Aeris dear! Doesn't the garden look perfect?' Aeris smiled.
'Voom, voom voom voom voom! Voom voom?' Sudden realisation and painful horror gripped Sephiroth as the perfect lifestyle melted away and was replaced by the murky dark shades of his apartment. His cold... Dark... And in close proximity to the psycho... apartment.
VOOM
'Nooooooooooooooo!!'
On the other side of the wall, Kefka giggled and let out a deep sigh of relief. Moving over to the calender on his wall, he marked off the day. Only another five days to go. If Sephiroth could survive a week, then maybe he'd let up. A little.
'I don't wanna upset him toooo much,' he said, blowing over the top of the bottle in his hand. A loud VOOM noise erupted from the small bottle.
'I hear he throws greeeeat partys! Uwhee hee!!' Beside him, little Hamka cackled evilly as well. Cue both of them laughing evilly, causing more anguished screaming from next door.
'WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP!?' Sephiroth yelled, his cry muffled by the wall. Kefka and Hamka exchanged looks.
VOOM
Enjoy! Chapter three might have a little bit of Sephy getting his own back!!
VOOM
Sephiroth opened his eyes and growled. He was tired. He burrowed his head further into his pillow and screamed, knowing that the soft fabric would muffle his yell. In the apartment next door, he heard a little chuckle, and then silence.
Thinking that he was finally being allowed to have some sleep, Sephiroth let out a sigh and closed his eyes. He was just about to drift off when...
VOOM
'AAARGH!'
Five hours later...
VOOM
Sephiroth rolled his tired eyes, spiking another froot loop with a cocktail stick and popping it into his mouth. Yesterday, after cleaning all that rhubarb-scented "present" from his neighbour off his walls, he had been so exhausted that he had gone right to sleep. That was until Kefka had started VOOMing next door. Occasionally, the VOOM would be accompanied by a maniacal cackle. But Sephiroth wasn't surprised about that.
VOOM
Sephiroth looked at his watch, counting the seconds.
'Exactly six hours... He's been doing that since two in the morning...' He couldn't help but wonder what exactly Kefka was doing to create a VOOM noise, but knowing his luck, it wasn't going to be a pretty sight.
VOOM
Sephiroth groaned, getting up off his sofa and trudging over to his bathroom. He had to go to work.
'That restuarant won't dedicate itself...' he muttered.
Ten minutes later, our hero was sleepily brushing his teeth, wincing every time a VOOM was heard from next door.
'Don't you need to do anything but VOOM?' he muttered, dumping the toothbrush and grabbing Masamune.
VOOM
He took a moment to look at the wall that seperated him from the clown next door. By the sound of things, the wall wasn't particularly thick or sturdy. *Wouldn't be that hard to break down...* he thought. *Bet I could get in there, snap the little creep's neck and be out of there before he can say "Uwhee hee urgh"...* The mere thought of that brought a smirk to Sephiroth's tired face, and he made a mental note to try that later.
'Muah hah hah...' he cackled, grabbing his keys and heading out of the door, slamming the door in time with the VOOM that accompanied his exit.
As soon as his neighbour had left his apartment and headed into the elevator at the end of the hall, Kefka's door opened just a touch. The demented clown poked his head out of the door and giggled. After ducking back into his own apartment for a few seconds, he snickered evilly and sneaked towards Sephiroth's apartment; lock picking tools in hand.
Sephiroth opened his door, shuffled in a few feet and collapsed on the floor. He was never, ever, ever going to dedicate a branch of McBarrett's ever again. Ever.
'The kids and the screaming and the tasteless burgers and the constant signing of autographs and always being upstaged by that spiky little freak named after a weather disturbance!' he growled, rolling over onto his back and closing his eyes.
'But at least the clown next door has shut up... Must have found a circus to join...' He smirked slightly, a little upset that he wouldn't be able to exact his revenge for the rhubarb-blood bomb.
'Now I can get some... Zzzzz...'
...
All was quiet. Not a creature stirred. Not even the minature T-Rex that Kefka had left in Sephiroth's apartment made a noise. Instead, the small reptile crept up to the FF7 villan and sniffed him. Then, it licked his face. Sephiroth, smirked.
'Aeeeeris... Not in public! Hee hee hee... Zzzz...' he muttered. The T-Rex frowned. And then, it roared. Really quietly.
'...roar...'
Moments later, Kefka poked his head around the door and frowned. He had been waiting for the animalistic roar, and he had heard the lizard equivilant of a kitten's whimper.
'What the heck kinda roar was that?! You're a shame to your prehistoric ancestors!!' he whispered to the T-Rex. The reptile sniffed slightly and moved to rub it's head against Kefka's leg. Kefka contemplated frying the small beast, but smirked instead and punted the T-Rex out of Sephiroth's window.
'UWHA...' he started, then noted Sephiroth stirring in his sleep. 'Oh... uwhaa haa haa...' he whispered, wondering what he was going to do next. He had always wanted to scare the neighbours with a T-Rex, but these apartments were so small. So, he had "persuaded" (we all know what Keffy means by persuasion) one of the scientists at Square Co to clone a mini T-Rex for him. But the damned thing was a wimp. Kefka's pet hamster had scared the damned thing. Mind you, his pet hamster was the hamster equivilant of him, so there were no surprises there.
Kefka started to pace the floor, ignoring Sephiroth as he talked in his sleep.
'What to do...? What to do...?'
'Voom... eergh...' Sephiroth mumbled, shuddering at the same time. Kefka lit up as bright as the proverbial lightbulb that appeared over his head.
'Uwhee hee hee!!' He rubbed his hands together, and cackled again before disappearing out of Sephiroth's apartment.
Sephiroth was having a nice dream. Aeris was his wife, and he lived in a nice little house (complete with flower bed and picket fence) with no psychotic clown living next door. He was stood on his nicely pressed lawn, watching as Cloud and Barrett watered his petunias.
'No slacking, Strife!' Sephiroth yelled, taking another puff on his pipe. Cloud turned towards him with am apologetic look on his face.
'Voom!' he replied. Sephiroth frowned.
'Uhh... Yeah...' Turning away from the pointy haired garden assistant, Sephiroth caught sight of his lovely wife.
'Aeris dear! Doesn't the garden look perfect?' Aeris smiled.
'Voom, voom voom voom voom! Voom voom?' Sudden realisation and painful horror gripped Sephiroth as the perfect lifestyle melted away and was replaced by the murky dark shades of his apartment. His cold... Dark... And in close proximity to the psycho... apartment.
VOOM
'Nooooooooooooooo!!'
On the other side of the wall, Kefka giggled and let out a deep sigh of relief. Moving over to the calender on his wall, he marked off the day. Only another five days to go. If Sephiroth could survive a week, then maybe he'd let up. A little.
'I don't wanna upset him toooo much,' he said, blowing over the top of the bottle in his hand. A loud VOOM noise erupted from the small bottle.
'I hear he throws greeeeat partys! Uwhee hee!!' Beside him, little Hamka cackled evilly as well. Cue both of them laughing evilly, causing more anguished screaming from next door.
'WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP!?' Sephiroth yelled, his cry muffled by the wall. Kefka and Hamka exchanged looks.
VOOM
