Day 4: 'Underfoot'
CW: angst
It has been a half-decade since he last stepped foot off this port.
Childe is not like Zhongli when it comes to having a sixth sense, but the moment the sole of his boot hits the hard-packed, solid ground, he feels it. Geo pulses in the ground, resonating. Not just lingering tendrils of Morax, but Zhongli as well. It doesn't matter if he has retired, he is still Liyue itself even if he's taken a step back.
"Sir," says someone, though he mostly ignores her. A pause and then: "Childe."
He finally looks, meeting the pinched expression of Ekaterina. Ever since his first mission here, she's called him that, enjoying the closeness of their friendship. She just watches him, eyebrows drawn, arms wrapped around a clipboard that no doubt carries his itinerary.
She's patient as she waits. She knows there are a lot of memories here, a lot of old thoughts that are creeping through his mind, so she lets Childe sort through them.
"Katya," he finally says, "how stacked is my day?"
"Not very," she lies, not bothering to even look at the paperwork. Ekaterina can sense that he needs some time alone.
"Right, then. Clear my schedule, would you? We'll start work here properly tomorrow."
Ekaterina does not ask questions, she just nods, a gentle tipping of her head in understanding. "Understood, sir." Then, she steps closer, pressing a hand against his shoulder. "Are you alright?" she asks quietly.
He is not. He stands there in Liyue harbor, all those old feelings rushing back, leaving him bitter and annoyed. "I just need to cool off," he says. Then he remembers his manners. "Thank you, Katya."
She pats his shoulder and then gives it a squeeze, for which, Childe is thankful.
#
It isn't until Childe is at the top of Mt. Tianheng that he finally lets loose the breath he's been holding.
It is quiet up there. The air is chilly and the breeze is a nice balm against his skin. Childe needs to clear his mind, to push through the memories, to think of anything other than old wants that he cannot have.
Impossible. Childe watches Liyue Harbor through a fond gaze. He dips to the ground and presses his hand against it, feeling the thrum of power that still lingers there. Zhongli, he thinks.
Zhongli, Zhongli, Zhongli; like the pulse of his power through the earth itself, the heartbeat of Liyue. Childe felt it the moment he stepped off the port, highly attuned to the man, even now.
Half a decade isn't enough to make him forget. Soft, fleeting touches. Kisses stolen in the night. Late nights sharing tea, stories, and soft, silken bedsheets.
"One thing's for certain, you got exactly what you bargained for, right?"
Cruel words he'd hissed as his things were loaded onto a boat. And Childe waited for Zhongli to say something. He stood there and watched, begging Celestia that Zhongli would find it within himself for even the most terrible of half-assed apologies.
And Zhongli just watched him back, his brow creased in confusion.
"For fuck's sake," murmurs Childe, his fingers digging into the dirt as though he can scoop up that lingering lifeforce. As though he can pocket a piece of Zhongli and take it home with him once his work here is said and done.
Childe has come here for himself. There is an excuse, thinly-veiled as Harbinger business, but Ekaterina knew better when she filed the request for temporary reassignment. She sighed, already knowing, already expecting. She knows how it pains him to have come back here after all these years.
But, for all the anger he has, there is a warmth there too. The Abyss pricks his skin, but Zhongli's stone-solid presence pushes it back, even this far away from him. It beats in a steady rhythm underfoot.
Childe has missed this comfort, and he allows himself a moment to truly relish the thick feel of it.
And then he is not alone. He doesn't need to turn, he can sense the sharpness of Anemo. And though Xiao does not have his weapon bared, he stands there with wariness, high alert, ready to act.
"I'm here for work," says Childe, his face half-turned towards him. A flimsy lie, one that Xiao can likely feel in his bones.
They've never quite gotten along, but they've never hated each other either. They treated each other like dogs, teeth bared, speaking in snarls. Xiao is overprotective even if Zhongli is more powerful.
Childe does not expect him to say, "He still lives in the same apartment." When Childe looks, Xiao blinks back at him with a bright amber gaze. His posture is strangely relaxed. He looks tired of all things, as though his existence bogs him tired.
Karma, said Zhongli once. Erosion. These are the things that we fight.
"Xiao—"
"Do you still have your key?"
Of course, he does. Childe wears it around his neck on a thin line of leather, tucked close to his heart. Only Katya knows. "He doesn't want to see me," says Childe.
Why would he? He's ignored Zhongli's letters, even though he kept every single one. They accompany him on the truly lonely nights, alongside a heavy bottle of firewater and his memories that sting the worst.
Xiao sighs, sounding disappointed. "You've never struck me as the type to be scared."
Childe is not scared. Childe hurts, he's in pain, but he is not scared. He pulls his hand from the ground, brushing the dirt from his soiled fingers. He feels the loss of Zhongli immediately.
"I'm here for business," he says again, his voice sharpening like cool steel.
Xiao is unimpressed. "Right," he says flatly. And then, quieter, "I tried."
Before Childe can retort, Xiao disappears in a flare of Anemo, winking away in a cloud of blackened air. He is left there wondering exactly what it is that he meant. Childe looks at the ground again, considering.
"Will you try to see him?" asked Katya, earlier that week as their boat tossed on uneven ocean waves.
"It's best if I avoid him."
"What absolute bullshit. Respectfully, of course."
Childe brought with him tea leaves, the cheap terrible kind from a one hundred Mora store.
After a long moment of quietness, he thinks that it'd be a waste to not at least give them away.
