Day 6: 'Rot'

Cw: mild angst


Rocks do not rot like most things, they weather down until only soft little pebbles are left instead of mighty boulders.

It is a strange thought that even stone will one day wear away. Most think of mountains as unwavering presences that will forever be there. But even those too will one day be gone.

These are the things that Zhongli thinks about in his retirement, and they are not thoughts that curdle his being, but rather bring him amusement.

"Did you know," he starts one day, "when I was young I thought that I was invincible?"

Childe who is sitting opposite him pauses, mouth full of noodles as he flounders around with his chopsticks. "I mean, isn't that normal?" he asks around his food.

Zhongli shoots him a mildly disgusted gaze and opts to eat his own food with better manners.

Childe slurps the rest of his bite into his mouth and swallows. "No, but seriously, like every kid thinks that?"

"I am not talking about when I was a child." Zhongli sighs, falling quiet for a second. "As Morax I was a reckless being."

"I would be too if I was the literal god of Geo."

Zhongli is not amused. "Even gods should mind themselves. Have I not told you the fate of Havria? And have you forgotten that Guizhong fell at Guili Plains?"

Childe sobers slightly, the smile falling off his face. "I haven't forgotten. Zhongli—"

"Even I was unable to help during the Cata—" Zhongli falls silent, his mouth twisting. "Ah, apologies. I forgot that I cannot talk about that. The point is—"

"Are you seriously worried about how you were… thousands of years ago?"

When Childe says it like that it sounds rather dumb. Zhongli's mouth purses. "I… these are just the things I muse about these days."

"Why?"

"Ajax, we are working through things and this is part of it."

"And that has to do with what?"

"Erosion," says Zhongli. Childe's face crinkles and his posture tenses. Zhongli has mentioned it before but never quite explained. "Those days are fuzzy to me and the older I get, the more of them I lose. I find myself clinging to the past out of affection. There are times that I miss those days and times that I want to forget.

"Sometimes these memories fester like rot. Makes me want to pick at my skin."

Childe's expression turns pinched. "Zhongli—"

"These are not bad things, just musings. I am truly an old man lost in my thoughts."

"Yeah," says Childe, his mouth curling into a soft smile, and even though it doesn't quite reach his eyes, it's full of affection, the first slip in his harsh walls since he came back to Liyue. "My old lizard."

They are not together again, but they are not not together either; they linger about in the middle, will-they, won't-they, entirely awkward. The endearment rolls off Childe's tongue without hesitation, naturally settled there.

There is a pause. Zhongli huffs, amused. Childe straightens in his seat. "Well—I mean, what were you like back then?"

"You've read the books."

"Books are just books, though. I'd rather hear about it from you. You've never…" Childe waves vaguely.

Zhongli weighs his request seriously. Part of the rift between them was caused by his inability to talk about himself. But, also—

"Only if you do the same." Childe blinks back at him. "If I'm going to share parts of myself, I would like you to do the same. The past festers. I… am a willing ear."

Childe's face softens. "Would that make you feel better?"

"Yes." It'd lift the heaviness in Zhongli's chest.

"Then the answer is obvious."