3:34 pm: Quatre + Trowa returned, and promptly locked
themselves in Quatre's room after mission debriefing. Heero should be in next
day or two; Heero could not get transport back to safehouse on same flight as
Quatre + Trowa.
2:34 pm: Successful move to new safe house. Turns out to
be three bedroom. Wu Fei refused to share room with self, on grounds
that I am a "lunatic" and "out to get him" and forcing Wu Fei to share room
with self would be "injustice". Heero will not share room with Wu Fei on
grounds that Wu Fei's obsessive Nataku worship is too distracting when he needs
to focus on the next mission. This has put Heero and I in one bedroom.
Excellent.
11:34 pm: Finally managed to wiggle pen back between toes
after dropping pen. Have realized that Heero sleeps naked after Heero rolled
over onto his stomach and sheet dropped down to hips. Horrifically tempting.
Luckily self is tied up like kinky bondage participant. Wish self was actually
kinky bondage participant, especially if kinky bondage scene involved Heero and
black leather.
Height: 5' 3"
Fantasies
involving Heero: 5. Absolutely saintly.
12:22 am: Realized that Heero does not, in fact, sleep
naked. Heero's tight spandex shorts (tm) had merely ridden down a bit lower as
he tossed and turned in his sleep. Horrifically disappointing, but still sexy.
7:00 am: Remarkably cheery despite getting four hours of
sleep (horrifying). Dozed off at some point and awoke untied. Still however,
gagged. Funny, Heero, really funny. Luckily had closed diary and kicked sheets
over it before sleeping, but must wonder what Heero thought about pen clutched
between toes.
10:30 am: Had an excellent breakfast consisting of
extra-cal smoothie, four eggs, and twelve strips of bacon, plus after-breakfast
muscle building bar that contains more calories than most people digest in a
week. Can feel the pounds forming. Did nice long exercise routine with Trowa
after breakfast. Feel that chance of building more manly physique outweighs
calorie loss. Do not, after all, want to end up looking like Romfeller founder,
overweight scientist, or similar.
4:56 pm: Excruciating amounts of pain have rendered self
immobile. Note to self: never do work out routine with former circus acrobat
again.
Monday,
April 3
Caffeine
Intake: 9 cups coffee, 1 liter cola
Weight:
111 lbs. COME BACK!!!.
Fantasies
Involving Heero: 23 (mostly in the morning)
1:45 am: Woke up after especially intense dream involving
Heero, self, and whipped cream. Was unable to return to sleep afterwards.
Stayed up and watched Heero sleep instead. Heero is v. attractive when curled
up in bed and sleeping, especially since one can see the gun he has tucked
under his pillow when he moves just right. Awwwwwww….
Thursday, April 6
Caffeine
intake: 8 cups coffee
Weight:
116 lbs. Hoping trend continues
Fantasies
Involving Heero: 0 (wheeeell…okay…maybe one or five…)
Fantasies
Involving Killing Relena: 56
12:13 pm: Am going to kill Heero. Relena showed up at door
and made a huge fuss about Needing To Talk To Heero In Private As Soon As
Possible. Therefore, Heero is going out to dinner with her tonight.
In her hotel room.
Alone.
No clue as to whether or not Heero realizes what her
Urgent Business is, though elf knows very well. Am going to personally kill
both Heero and Relena slowly, using one of those little hooks you use to fork
lobster meat out of a lobster shell. Self now has intense craving for lobster.
Mission: Find lobster, preferably good lobster.
3:45 pm: Got lobster; v. good, but headache from melted
butter. Added benefit: salt might cause water retention, and thus weight gain.
5:43 pm: Heero is heading out for his "meeting" with
Relena. Have decided to follow in guise of overprotective mission partner,
covertly, of course, in manner of spy.
6:33 pm: Heero just went into the Suite of Doom. Am hiding
out in dirty linen cart across room; paid off maid to not collect until later
tonight. Excellent, if funny smelling, hiding place. Would be better however if
not sitting on wet towels.
7:00 pm: No sign of Heero.
7:12 pm: Still no sign of Heero.
7:30 pm: Some noise coming from Suite. Disturbed, got out
of laundry cart and pressed ear to crack of door in manner of shameless
eavesdropper.
"I don't
understand." Relena said. This is hardly an uncommon occurrence. There are lots
of things Relena doesn't understand. The fact that it is hypocritical to claim
to be a devout pacifist while trying to get into the pants of a man who's
essentially a killing machine comes to mind. After all, what the hell would the
Child be like?
Simply
cannot imagine Heero + Relena producing Child. No, take that back, am currently
having all to clear a vision of a little pink clad toddler with white blonde
hair and Prussian blue eyes toddling about a priceless mansion with a
submachine gun in one hand threatening to self destruct anyone who doesn't
convert to absolute pacifism.
More to
point, cannot imagine Heero + Relena going through necessary biological
functions to produce Child. Concept is just….yucky. Cannot see Perfect Godlike
Solider Heero with Pink Prissy Princess Relena. Of course, cannot see Perfect
Solider Heero with self either, though at least self and Heero would not
produce any bizarre violent pacifistic offspring. Well…not without scientific
help, anyway…
"I've tried. I've been patient. I don't understand
why you don't show any sign of even liking me very much." Relena was whining.
Relena's whine, amplified, could serve very well as a weapon of mass
destruction and absolute terror.
Note to
self: see about taping Relena whining to use to annoy Wu Fei.
Had to
dart quickly back from door as Heero was storming out of it just then. Luckily
can leap away like springing jungle cat. Training with Trowa is finally paying
off. Well, that and don't want to be caught by The Pink Priss Miss
eavesdropping on failed attempt to woo Heero. Definitely didn't want to be
caught by Heero.
Of
course, was promptly spotted by Heero. Thankfully, Heero promptly spun
around to face Relena.
"I don't
like you." He said coldly. "Not like that."
Relena's
eyes were wounded. "Give me one good reason why."
Heero
turned to face me.
Only thought in head was: Oh shit. I am seriously
dead meat. Rather like deer facing a speeding truck…or a rampaging Gundam.
He glanced over his shoulder at Relena. "Because."
He said, voice dripping frost. "I don't like girls."
Then he
grabbed me and kissed me as if Relena had given him some sort of poisen only I
could purge. Ohhhhhhh…
Of course
Heero, being Heero, let me go and thundered down the hall and out of sight,
leaving Relena looking remarkably like a squashed bullfrog and me feeling like
my body had been turned into jello.
Well,
most of my body, anyway.
Luckly
revived from jello-like state in time to fend of Relena's claws (when the hell
she decided to grow her nails into talons?????). Nearly lost an eye in that
first swipe; did the sensible thing and tackled her, yanking at her hair. She
in turn decided to try and throttle me with my own braid, and was almost
successful, sorry to say, except I managed to snap her bra strap. Haven't met a
girl yet who didn't flitch and yipe at that unexpected assault.
She
responded by grabbing by my hand and attempting to chew off my wrist. Have
concluded that Relena has not only grown nails into claws, but has had her
teeth filed down into vampire like little spikes. Luckily, however, this
prevented her from successfully strangling me with my own locks, and managed to
knee her good in the stomach before the fight more or less disintegrated into a
lot of scratching and hair pulling and name calling and flying elbows.
Still
resentful that that dumb guard had to call for help in 'separating the
girls'. Do not look like a girl,
long hair aside.
Quatre
and Trowa showed up about then ("To check up on you." Quatre said. "You find
trouble like a klutz finds cracks in the sidewalk") and between the two of them
successfully pried us apart. Quatre sent Relena back to her room to have a cup
of tea and relax, giving her The Talk about how Trying To Ambush Heero is A Bad
Idea. Love the lovely Quatre. His way of smiling and just dissolving tension in
a room should be new lesson to self in way of proper man to behave.
Quatre
and Trowa are taking me out for a drink in order to help me dissect the Great
Heero Kiss scene away from Heero. Need some good advice right now (as well as distance between self and Heero)
as instinct is to go hunt Heero down and jump him, which is soooooooo not a
good idea….
11:34 pm: Donwahhnago 'ome and havefta face Hero…beer is
nice, beer dosshen't kiss sombody n walk offlik nothing happened…Quatrentorwa
think I should tog back an toalk to Hero…curlonpun couch is nice…
Friday, April 7
Caffeine
intake: the mere thought of consuming anything makes my stomach turn
Weight:
115 lbs. Must have puked up a pound at some point last night
Fantasies
Involving Heero: 87. Dammit.
1:33 pm: Slept on the bloody couch last night because I
didn't want to have to face stumbling into the room drunk. Woke up finally
because Wu Fei was about to cover me with the new sofa cover he'd made from a
pattern in Homemaker's Craft Journal. Stupid Wu Fei. If my head wasn't a nuclear
bomb right now I'd kill him.
4:14 pm: Am being ignored by Heero. Am not pleased by
this. You don't just randomly kiss your partner then wander off not only act
like nothing happened, but ignore said partner's existence.
Hate
Heero Yuy.
Wish he'd
take off that sweater…mmm…
7:35 pm: Hurricane that was gleefully ripping up insides
of skull finally let up, so asked Heero about last night. He just sort of
shrugged and said I was handy and I proved a point, and if he'd had to make out
with Treiz and Zechs at the same time to get his point across he would have,
and he thought I was a good sport for playing along.
Playing?
Yeah, right. Heh heh heh. Thankfully managed to keep back wail of despair until
Heero was out of earshot. I hate. Hate. Hate. Hate Heero Yuy.
10:56 pm: Don't hate Heero Yuy. Love Heero Yuy. Love Heero
Yuy like I've never loved anyone or anything in my entire existence, and he'd a
god damn bastard if he can't see that, everyone else can, even a dense idiot
like Wu Fei can see that, and dammit I know I shouldn't have followed Heero but
I couldn't help myself I couldn't stand the thought of him being alone with
Relena like that, and dammit all I ever hoped for was for him not to fucking
hate me but he had to go and kiss me and get my hopes up and scare me and then
break me and dammit I don't think even I deserved that. God, you must really
have it fucking in for me. I hate you too. I'm tired of crying over this. I
haven't cried since I was seven and now I can't bloody well stop and I don't
think Heero believed me it was over some sappy TV special Quatre and I had been
watching….
Saturday, April 8
Caffeine Intake: 0, and have never been happier
Weight: 115 lbs.
Fantasies About Heero: Lost track…
3:21 am: Oh my
fucking god. The absolutely last thing I ever expected was to accidentally wake
Heero up with a crying fit. Vastly underestimated how light a sleeper Heero Yuy
actually is, considering fact that know was not crying that loud. Was utterly
and completely horrified being caught crying by Heero Yuy in the middle of the
night like that, though in hindsight should have sobbed into pillow a long time
ago, considering the result.
"Are you
all right?" Heero sounded concerned. For Heero, this is a big thing. Except
when he's all gleeful in the cockpit, Heero's vocal expressions are as flat as
his facial ones.
"I'm
fine." I lied. "Just so..heartwarming…" I hid a sob.
A pause.
"I thought you never lied."
"I
don't…"
"Then why
are you lying to me?"
Thousands
of excuses flitted through my mind, but before I could pick one, the truth came
out. "Because it's easier than facing what you did to me."
"I told
you…"
"I know
what you told me." A hiccup. Humiliating. "You told me that you were using me
to get at Relena. An' to be truthful I never really hoped it was anything else,
but I wanted to, god I wanted to, and then you just had to break every dream
I've nursed into little itty bitty pieces and do a waltz on top of them,
complete with castanets…"
"…Duo,
there are no castanets in the waltz."
"I don't
care." I snapped, forgetting to be calm and reasoning like Quatre. "Didn't you
feel anything when you kissed me? Aside from relief that you were making
a spectacle Relena won't soon forget?"
Silence.
"I didn't
think so." I rolled over and faced the wall. "Just leave me alone."
"…..I
can't."
"Oh
really, Heero? And why is that?" I demanded bitterly. "My crying keeping you
up? You could always share Wu Fei's room, if his hand embroidered tapestry of
Shenlong isn't still taking up the entirety of the other bed."
Felt the
weight of Heero sitting down on my bed—well, pinning me down on my bed—before I
saw him, and didn't have time to react to that (probably by beating him with a
pillow, or similarly mature and adult thing) before he was kissing me again.
Damned good thing that breathing is an instinctive function requiring no
thought, or else would have died at that point of oxygen deprivation by
forgetting to breath after being kissed by Heero. Also lucky that forgot to
breath, in a way, or else probably would have been hyperventilating and
promptly passed out.
"I don't
want to share a damned room with Wu Fei." Heero growled in my ear. "And I
wouldn't have kissed you if I hadn't wanted to. I could have found other ways
of shaking her." He grazed his lips against the edge of my ear, and I was
surprised that I did not promptly melt into the mattress and end up in a puddle
on the floor. "But you were there, and…"
"Why
didn't you say something?!" I demanded.
"I didn't
perceive that to be the proper time to tell you how I felt, and afterwards the
way you were skulking around avoiding me made me think you regretted it." Heero
replied. "Especially the way Quatre kept glaring at me like he was going to
have Trowa personally castrate me. I assumed…"
I kissed
Heero, then. Who needs scotch? This is more intoxicating than any liquor known
to man. "Don't assume." I informed him. "It creates misunderstandings."
"But you
assumed that I…" Heero tried to protest against my lips, before giving it up as
a lost cause and more than compensating for sending self into depressed
drinking binge and night of constant weeping.
11:43 am: Have learned several new lessons today that must
put to work in daily life.
1)
Assuming is bad. Sometimes you assume something is going to be
bad and it isn't, which can make otherwise ideal situation bad.
2)
Allergic to whatever it is Relena uses for nail polish. Damn
those welts have swelled up.
3)
Lbs and height do not matter, as Heero does not care that self
is smallish and pathetically thin
4)
Never, ever, ever let Heero trick self with "just five more
minutes" and acting all cuddly. He does not cuddle. Well, okay, he does cuddle,
but only after having screwed the living daylights out of self, which was nice,
but could have lived without the constant glares from Wu Fei…I didn't realize
the box springs were that squeaky…
Fin