The Voltron Force found themselves fully clothed, undrugged and unchained in their respective
lions.
"That was some trip!" Keith remarked.
Lance snickered, "Bad joke!"
"You okay, Princess?" Pidge asked.
"I'm fine, Pidge! Dunno about Lotor, though," she acknowledged.
"He deserved it!!" Pidge spat, then mumbled, "horny lil [bad word]..."
"Keep it TV Y7, Pidge. Mogor's back!" Hunk said, pointing to the big cruiser in the night sky.
"Mogor, don't forget the robeast this time, you dizbat!" Zarkon growled over the big screen.
"Will do," Mogor said, saluting.
Haggar popped up on the small screen, "Mogor, beware! A plothole allowed the Voltron Force to
escape! Be prepared for attack!"
"It's a little late for that NOW, Haggar!! I have TWO ships!! What the hell am I supposed to do
with two ships?!" Mogor screamed, flailing his arms about.
"I suggest you vamoose before you get creamed!" Zarkon suggested.
"Velveeta Cheesed is more like it!!" Haggar corrected, "Launch the robeast and get back to
Doom!!"
"Will do," Mogor said and saluted...again, "Launch the robeast and get us out of here,
PRONTO!!"
So, 'twas done. The robeast, after 5 seconds of 'fierce' combat with Voltron, was now spare parts
for the Arusian auto repair industry. Mogor and his 2 ships made it back to Doom without a
scratch and the Voltron Force went back to watching "Sleeping Beauty".
It was back to Lance heckling and Keith hushing and Hunk, Koran and Nanny competing for
Fritos and Pidge reciting every word in the movie. Pidge tried to sing all the songs, but Lance
and Keith put a pillow over his head before he could get out a note.
Meanwhile, back at Castle Doom, Lotor didn't have the comfort of a Disney movie and was
going even more insane.
"Your Highness, don't torture yourself by thinking of her," one of his slaves (who just happened
to be a former psychiatrist) told him.
Lotor, huddled up in the fetal position on his bed, shook his head vigorously and sniffed, "She's
MINE!"
The slave-psychiatrist nodded and thought for a little bit, "Majesty, close your eyes. What do you
see?"
"I see shiny things...they're all dancing around...and I see HER," Lotor answered.
"Uh-HUH...I see...and this has gone on for how long?" she asked, feeling his forehead.
"Since Tuesday," Lotor said, "but now it's WORSE!"
The slave turned to Haggar and whispered, "He's needs professional help."
"I thought you said you WERE a professional!" Haggar replied.
"The key word is WERE," she said.
"Is he physically sick as well?" Haggar asked.
"It appears so...might want to do something about it," she replied.
"Such as?"
"Oh...I dunno...maybe one of those mideval things witches do."
"You're a lot of help," Haggar said sarcastically, "Go back to what you were doing. This session
is over."
The slave disappeared and Haggar went to her labratory. She sat and stroked her cat for awhile,
then decided to probe Allura's mind again. She might have something in there worth a laugh or
two, like last time, she thought and went to one of her many crystal balls. She uttered weird
words and wiggled her eyes. Soon came a vision of what the princess saw that moment. "How
cute! A Disney movie!" she commented and turned up the sound on the crystal ball.
" 'Sleeping Beauty', huh? I have a wonderfully awful idea!" Haggar announced and looked
around, "I should really quit talking to myself." "You wanna put my son WHERE?!" Zarkon
bellowed.
"In suspended animation! These humans are easily influenced by what they watch. We should
halt all assults on Arus until they get so paranoid, they send Voltron to Castle Doom itself! With
its guard down, Voltron will be helpless!" Haggar stated.
"What does this have to do with Lotor, Witch?" Zarkon asked irritably.
"He's rather ill at the moment, sire. Time heals all wounds, I should know. Princess Allura is
very fond of fairy tales and would give anything to be in one, so..." Haggar explained.
"I getcha," the king said, "So that solves Lotor's problem lickety split. One more problem,
though."
"That would be...?"
"How do we know that another plothole won't pop up?"
"Plotholes only appear to releave the authors' writers block. Unless she forgets everything she
wants to happen, that won't be a problem anymore," Haggar said.
"Excellent. Okay. Go wiggle your nose or ears or something and put Lotor in stop animation,"
Zarkon said.
"Stop animation is a cheap way of making a cartoon, sire. I said SUSPENDED animation!"
Haggar pointed out.
"Yeah, yeah. Expensive animation, whatever."
Haggar slapped her head and groaned.
Lotor was already asleep when Haggar returned to his room. She stood and thought about how
she was going to do this. "Now, should I just put him to sleep or the entire castle asleep?" she
asked herself, "No, that'd be just plain STUPID. We have to be awake to ambush Voltron. Yup!
That's the way it'll go!"
The prince growled and mumbled incoherently. He banged his head on the wall and moaned.
If Haggar had a left eyebrow, she would've cocked it. But seeing as she was without, she just
stared at him like he had three heads, "You need help, kid. You may be handsome, but you need
HELP."
Haggar went into that whole evil spell chanty thinngydoo with the necklaces and the toads kinna
thing. "Hey evil spirits!! You ever seen Disney's 'Sleeping Beauty'?"
A whirlpool of puke green and greyish purple clouds formed on the ceiling and a booming,
distorted, multi-voiced, echo-boxed voice came from it: ~Yeah, what's it to ya, babe?~
"Prince Lotor here is obsessed with the Princess of Arus, who just watched that movie. She's a
bit slow on the uptake and would jump at the chance to be in a fairy tale. Even though this is a
bit screwed up, I'd like you to put a spell..." Haggar explained.
~...on the princess so he can wake her up. We gettit. Didn't you just try something like that the
other day?~ the spirits spoke before Haggar could finish.
"No, You didn't let me finish," Haggar said, "I want you to put the spell on the PRINCE!!"
~You've gone funny, Haggar. Allura wouldn't kiss Lotor even if he was Fabio,~ the spirits said.
"Aw, c'mon! You guys are just unfair!!" Haggar whined, crossing her arms.
~No whining, Witch!!~ the spirits told her, ~Either do it the way it's supposed to be done or
forget about it!~
"I just put the princess to sleep day before yesterday!!" Haggar explained.
~And...?~
"And when we came to take her away, that little androgynous kid with the glasses pulled out a
grenade and we had to leave her behind!"
~Is she awake now?~ the evil spirits asked.
"Yes," Haggar said.
~How come? Didn't you put that 'Sleeping Beauty' spell on her?~
"No," Haggar admitted sheepishly, "My budget had to limit her to a temporary spell."
~And this was, what? Two days ago?~ asked the spirits.
"Three, actually," Haggar replied.
~Then how come you have the budget now to get the spell done?~
"I got paid just yesterday," she said.
There was some incoherent mumbling amongst the spirits and then they said, ~Are you SURE
you want to put the PRINCE to sleep? He'll be mighty pissed at you when he finds out.~
"Well, it fits the title more, doesn't it?" Haggar asked them.
~Title, schmitle! If you're counting on Princess Allura of Arus to kiss your prince, you'd better
find something to do for the next zillion years!~ the spirits replied irkedly.
Haggar stood and thought for awhile and said, "Are we just going to throw the title to the wind,
then?"
~The prince has been sleeping for most of this ordeal!! It's someone else's turn!!~ the spirits
bellowed.
"We'd get our butts sued off by Disney!" Haggar snapped back.
~We still say we'd rather put the princess to sleep. And without us, you will find it VERY,
VERY difficult to do your spell,~ the spirits reiterated.
"Well, YOU can't do much, either!! You're stuck on another plane of existence!! You can't effect
anything on the plane of the living without a channel, i.e., me!" Haggar yelt.
~We can find ANOTHER witch, Witch!! And quit talking about planes!! Fritz over there died in
a plane crash!~ the spirits argued.
"Okay, okay. Quit being so LOUD!! You're going to wake him up!" Haggar fussed, pointing to
Lotor who was tossing and mumbling in his bed.
~Oh, sorry. So, do you agree?~ the spirits asked.
Haggar sighed in defeat and said, "Yeah, sure, why not?"
~Oh, GOODIE!!! You'll find this plan better than the other one. You see, with THIS spell, only
Lotor can wake Allura up! It's as good as a hostage situation!~ the spirits explained with the
perkiness of a 7-year old schoolgirl. "Hmmm...I never thought of that! Good idea!" Haggar said.
Lotor then hit his head on the wall again and groaned loudly, "Oooooooh!! ALLURA!! You
can't...NOOOOO!!"
If the spirits had the ability to, they would have given Lotor a quizzical look. Instead, they just
paused and said, ~oKAY! He needs help!~
"You have no IDEA how many people have said that lately," Haggar said.
~What? You're not going to chew us out for making fun of him? We thought, y'know, you...had a
little...thing for him,~ the spirits remarked.
"What on Doom gave you THAT idea? Lotor's cute, but I like Zarkon better!" Haggar admitted.
~You like ZARKON better?! THERE'S a twist!~ the spirits told her.
"Oh, leave me alone! I didn't call you to explain my long-dead 'love-life' to you, now did I?"
Haggar half-growled.
The ancient omnipotent evil spirits snickered and sang softly, ~Haggar and Zarkie, sittin' in a
tree!!...~
"Oh, shuttup! Let's get this thing over with!"
~Well, the prince's bedroom isn't exactly the right place to do a complicated incantation such as
a Sleeping Beauty spell, especially not with the specifics recently added in. We suggest you go to
your lab,~ the spirits advised, then chuckled, ~...she likes Zarkon better!!~
"I heard that!!"
~We have another idea. How bout let's let poor little Lotor's nightmare end and have him share a
dream with the princess lady?~
"She's asleep by now, it's worth a try. Sure, why not?" Haggar replied amiably for the first time
that day.
~Ping. Okay, to the lab!~ the spirits said cheerily after some incoherent mumbling.
"Man, that was QUICK! No fair!" Haggar whined.
~What did we say about whining, Haggar?!~
"Sorry."
"Goodnight, Princess...goodnight, Hunk...goodnight, Keith...goodnight, Lance...goodnight
Koran...goodnight, Nanny...put the cleaver away now," Pidge said sleepily in his(her, its)
sleeping clothes(dress, moomoo) when Nanny released him(her, it) from her grip.
"Goodnight, lil buddy!" the people he addressed all said in unison and slunked off to bed.
Keith went to bed and just laid there like the robot nobody knew he really was. Lance went to
bed and thought about the girl he'd most recently met, Jenvin(inside joke). Hunk went to bed and
ate another bag of Doritos. Pidge went to bed and went to sleep and snored like a rhinoceros.
Somewhere out there, Sven went to bed and was chanting "I am a donut!" in German. Koran
went to bed and had a minor ulcer. Nanny went to bed, I'm not elaborating. Allura went to bed
and she closed her eyes and eventually went to sleep.
The princess found herself in a pretty pink spring forest, blooming with flowers, butterflies and
pink bunnies. She smelled the flowers and the butterflies and danced around cheerfully
(lalalala)with her little meese friends dancing at her heels (they weren't really dancing, however,
they were trying to avoid her feet). Then she started twirling around and singing the "Once upon
a dream" song, with a shadow that was supposed to be where Prince Phillip would've been, but
Allura couldn't keep the image in her brain, she didn't have enough memory. Haggar was
watching this from her shiny new crystal ball, recently Fed Exed to her on HALLOWEEN, and
was nearly puking at the pinkness.
~Well, what are you waiting for, Haggar?!~ the spirits asked.
Haggar shuffled over to her other crystal ball, where Lotor was dreaming he was Mulder from
the X-Files and Scully was Princess Allura, in a pink trench coat. Once again, as in all of Lotor's
dreams, they were too close for the rating TV Y7. He was ---
Ugh! Disney! Turn it off!! he thought to himself.
Allura, in her twirlings, managed to spot Lotor, who was dressed as the prince in the movie. He
was still Lotor, though. Still purple, still dangerous, still evil...handsome in his new outfit, but
evil. She stopped in mid-twirl and gasped ditzyly, "Stay away from me!"
Lotor had never sung a note in his life, but he found himself singing the song the princess had
just so recently, "I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream..."
"Lotor, go away!" the princess shouted as he approached.
The singing that Lotor thought he had been doing came from overhead then and he tried to make
with the lip sync, but being dubbed anime, he found that most difficult. He looked like a
Godzilla movie.
"I said go away! Go away and stay away!"
The music again came from above, but Lotor ignored it and walked behind her back, "I hope I'm
not intruding on anything important!" he tried to shout over the now annoying song.
"What was that?!" Allura asked over the music.
Lotor pounded on a tree and yelled, "Hey, you up there! Cut it OUT!"
"Sorry," sang the voice and it slinked away solemnly with its head down.
"Aaw, you hurt the poor music's FEELINGS!" Allura whined.
Lotor gave her a quizzical stare and said, "o-KAY. And people say I'M the one who needs help."
Allura gave him a cold stare and he wrapped his fingers around her shoulders.
"Are you in the middle of something important?" Lotor asked, deepening his voice a bit.
"Don't you deepen your voice at me, you goonie goon!" Allura snapped as she released herself
from his grip.
"Why not?" he tried to ask in an even deeper tone, but found himself hacking up a storm, "Okay...cough
"You just don't GET it, do you? I don't care if you cough up a lung! Quit tryina seduce me!!"
Allura growled.
"It's not MY fault you're pretty! It's not MY fault you're so spirited! It's not MY fault you'd rather
go on a date with HUNK!!" Lotor expressed indignantly, folding his arms and turning his nose
up in a princely manner.
"That's because you're EVIL! I hate evil! Evil is bad! Nobody evil wears pink!" Allura
proclaimed in the same manner Lotor had done. "You and I have more in common than you
think, dear princess. Love is blind, deaf, tasteless, dumb and doesn't discriminate. I KNOW I
shouldn't have this thing for you, it's going to be the ruin of both you AND me," Lotor said
gently.
"This coming from a man who kicks little puppies in the street?!" Allura retorted.
"I'm sorry that I was born Zarkon's little stooge...but that's the way it is. I can't un-stooge myself
and I'm sorry about the puppies. I think sometimes if I agitate you...you might develop this love-hate thing for me," Lotor told the princess hesitantly, closing his eyes.
"I don't understand how something so beautiful on the outside could possibly be so ugly on he
inside!" Allura barked harshly.
"It's the role I am fixed in. I'm always the loser now, thanks to Voltron. If you'd've surrendered to
Yurak, you wouldn't have this problem," Lotor explained.
"You leave Voltron out of this!" Allura yelt.
"What are you trying to make of this?! A soap opera?! Personally, I'm rather insulted. Those
things make me vomit," Lotor remarked.
"Grr!" Allura growled.
"Oh, I see I'm wearing you down!" Lotor stepped forward and backed her up against a tree.
SLAP!
"Don't you come NEAR me, you yellow-eyed monster!" Allura exclaimed.
Lotor growled incoherently (again)and looked up at her angrily, "We ALSO have stuff not in
common. Your people fear what you don't understand... my people WANT what we don't
understand. It's no WONDER you're on the defending side! If Voltron wasn't around, your planet
would be nothing more than a giant asteroid floating in the void!!"
"You DARE insult my people!?" Princess Allura queried imperiously.
"I DARE do whatever I want!! Your people should take a lesson from MY people and take
chances! The ONLY reason you are alive is because of ME! If I decided you weren't worth it,
you would have died the day I met you! You should be thankful fate has dealt me the wrong
cards, so I have to fold again and again!" Lotor barked, than exhaled and took a gentler tone of
voice, "Be thankful that I fell in love with you, Princess."
"I will be thankful for no such thing! You know NOTHING of love! You are...what's the
word...fuh-fah-fih-sik-ly attracted to me!! That's it! You love me for my body, not my mind!!"
Allura accused.
"There's not much of a mind to be attracted TO!" Lotor retorted. Why do you think the Voltron
Force is always drooling over you? Is it your ability to calculate pi to the umteenth decimal? No!
You are gorgeous, but you don't have much in the way of brains! You have spunky, but nothing
up there! You are all heart, that's why everybody loves you. You love them. You even love ME;
you just love to hate me. It's a passion, but it's polarity makes the difference."
"Huh?" Allura asked, shaking her head, "I don't get it."
Lotor smiled a little and walked off in his Mulder outfit, "Sweet dreams, Your Highness. I'll see
you...later"
"Lotor, wait! Explain what you just meant! I didn't get it!" Allura called after him blondely.
"I know," Lotor said slyly and woke up.
