"Preencess? Preencess? Get ahp!" Nanny sang, sofly shaking the princess.
No response.
"Preencess? Are you feelink all right,dahlink?"
No response.
"Oh, Preeencess...somevon eez here to see you!! Zay hello, Keith!" Nanny sang and deepened her voice, "Ello, Preencess. Vake
Ahp! Ve need you een zohm zenzeless vohr!!"
No response.
"Preencess!! Vake ahp!!" Nanny tried desperately again. Suddenly, her brontosaurus brain came up with an idea. She went to the
bathroom and came back with a bucket of ice water (don't ask me how it got iced), "OKay, Your Highness! Vakie vakie!" she sang
jovially and dumped the bucket of water on her head.
No response.
Nanny stood and thought until noon. Then the rest of the Voltron Force came in. Lance was the first to speak, "What's up, Nanny?"
"Not ze preencess, zaht's for sure," Nanny replied.
Keith stepped over to the side of the bed and looked down at her, "Why's she...wet?"
"Eeeeeew!" Pidge remarked.
"You zick deezguzting cheeldren! I poured a bucket of ice vahter on her!" Nanny told them indignantly, putting the empty bucket on
Pidge's head.
"Lemmee try something," Hunk said and stepped forward. He held his nose and did his world-famous Lotor impression, "Princess
Allura, my darling, wake up! Voltron is a rust puddle in the court yard and my guards are kicking Koran and Nanny into obscure
alleyways! Your civilization has gone kaputski! Join me...and I will complete your training, young Skywalke--er I mean come with
me and we can leave this desolate planet together!!"
No response.
Lance did his squealing puppy impression, "Hear THAT, Princess? I just kicked a puppy! It was pink and fuzzy and born last
night! Wake up before I kick it again!"
No response.
"I have a feeling this has happened before..." Pidge said.
"Oh, no. Not THIS again!" Lance whined and put his hand over his face. "I used to think Haggar was creative when she cast her
spells," Keith said.
"Maybe she had a list and maybe she reached the end of her list and NOW she's going backwards!" Hunk suggested.
"Oh, NO!" Nanny pouted, "Zees eez gettingk tiringk! Von't zay ever give ahp? Zat stupid prince of Zarkon's!!"
"His name's Lotor, Nanny," Pidge told her.
"I knew zat!"
Keith put his head on Allura's chest and made a funny face at Nanny while he listened for her heartbeat, "Well, her ticker's still
ticking...she's still respir--I mean breathing properly, too."
"Off course she's breathing properly! A preencess should ALVAYS breathe properly!" Nanny stated imperiously.
"Ugh," Lance said, shaking his head.
"So how do we break the spell? We don't have a witch!" Pidge cried.
"We don't even know what the spell IS, Pidge. It's not the same as Tuesday's!" Hunk said.
~May WE be of assistance?~ the evil spirits asked, swirling from their weird whirlpool of non-pink, clearly contrasting with the
room.
"Who are you?!" asked Keith.
~Haggar's boss. She asked me to come tell you how to break the spell,~ the evil spirits said lightly.
"I think she's lost it," said Lance.
~Us too. You should SEE the kooky things she's been up to! Insane! Her brain was eroded away by time.~
"How? How do we break the spell?" asked Pidge urgently.
~Only Prince Lotor can break the spell.~
"Aaw, NUTBUNNIES!" Lance remarked, put his hands in his pockets and shrugged.
"I shoulda KNOWN Haggar'd do something like that!" Hunk exclaimed.
~Actually, it was our idea. Haggar wanted to put the spell on Lotor, so that only Allura could wake him up. Not a very smart
decision. We know how much your princess despises him, so just leaving him there'd be the easy way to get rid of him,~ the spirits
explained.
"Hey, whose SIDE are you on, anyway?" Keith asked.
~OUR side,~ the spirits replied and vanished.
The Voltron Force and Nanny stood there in the room a little while, unable to think of any quick solution.
"You did WHAT?!" Zarkon and Lotor asked in unison angrily.
"I put Princess Allura in suspended animation," Haggar said.
"I thought you said you were going to put Lotor in appendage amputation!" Zarkon remarked.
"Sus-pend-ed a-ni-ma-tion," Haggar said slowly.
"Suspended? Lotor hasn't been suspended since middle school!" Zarkon protested.
"Probably because you YANKED me out of middle school and put me in that army training thinggymaddoohoodiggit!!" Lotor
growled.
"Why'd you do that to the princess?! I thought the title of this story was..." Zarkon paused to pull his script out from under his chair,
" 'The Sleeping PRINCE', not 'The Sleeping PrinCESS'!"
"Yeah, I know, but the ancient spirits of evil wouldn't let me!! They said I'd be on my own if I tried to put Lotor to sleep," Haggar
explained.
"You were going to put me to sleep until Princess Allura woke me UP?! Haggar, are you BLIND with age as well?! You didn't even
ASK me!!" Lotor scolded.
"It was going to be a surprise! Arus would become paranoid and send Voltron out here alone! On their way through searching the
castle, they'd eventually stumble into your room..." Haggar began, but was stopped by Zarkon's stare.
"And just why would Princess Allura want to kiss him awake?!" Zarkon asked her imperiously.
"Uuuh...well, she said before that he was cute..." Haggar said sheepishly.
"Haggar, I had no idea you could be THIS irresponsible," Zarkon said, shaking his head.
"You didn't even ASK!" both of them scolded the witch in unison.
"Sorry!" Haggar cheeped.
"What now?" Zarkon asked.
"That's what I came here to tell you! I put the spell on Princess Allura, so now she'll sleep forever--"
"WHAT?!" Lotor exclaimed, "How's she spozta be my bride if she's ASLEEP?!"
"You didn't let me finish," Haggar said calmly, "I said she'll sleep forever unless Lotor wakes her up."
"Ooooh! I GET it!" Zarkon said, nodding his head.
"Me?! You made the spell so only ME could wake her up?! WOOHOO!!! Haggar, you're a GENIUS!! If you weren't 3000 billion
years old, ugly and bald, I might've considered kissing you!" Lotor said, jumping up and down.
"Aw, jeez. That makes me fell just PEACHY."
"Go, Haggar! This is like a hostage situation! Only we don't have to put up with the hostage whining and flailing and kicking!!
Brilliant! We can have anything we want from Arus now! Hahahaha!!" Zarkon said, getting out of his seat(the rare occasion it was)
and descending the stairs, "Lotor, you go plunder Arus! I'm taking Haggar to the Outback Steakhouse!"
Haggar felt she might faint, "The Outback Steakhouse?! I did THAT good of a job?! Oh, boy!!" she yammered giddily.
"The Outback Steakhouse?! No FAIR!! How come I can't go?!" Lotor pouted bratilly, stomping his foot.
"Because YOU aren't the one who came up with the idea!" Zarkon said, "You've been doing nothing but FAILING for the past
year! Haggar gets the reward because SHE came up with a working plan!"
"Hmph."
"Get DRESSED, boy!!" Zarkon shouted.
"Yes, DADDY! Whatever you SAY, Daddy! Go out on your little DATE, Daddy!" Lotor snapped sarcastically.
"Hey, you...cut it out," Haggar told him and Zarkon and her went off to the Outback Steakhouse.
Lotor sat in his father's chair and imitated his father's gruff voice, "Lotor, do this! Lotor do that! BAD boy! You failed at this, you
failed at that! Even though it's not entirely your fault, I'm gunna punish you anyway!"
"I HEARD that!!" Zarkon threatened from wherever he was.
Meanwhile, on Arus, the Voltron Force and Nanny were trying to come up with plans to save the princess from her fate.
"Okay, how 'bout we capture him and tie him to a 30 ton chair?" asked Lance.
"How'd he be able to reach the princess?" Keith asked.
"Uuuh...we could sit her up," Lance suggested.
Hunk tried to move the princess from her position, but it didn't work, "Scratch that idea."
"Hmm...how...about...weeeeeee...uuuuh...hmmm, you've scratched me dry of ideas!" Lance remarked.
Pidge paced around with his(her, its) finger in his(her, its) mouth and he(she, it) made an odd sound, then said, "You've stumped
me, too!"
"Hunk, any ideas?" asked Keith.
Hunk was back to his Fritos battle with Nanny and said, "Nope...sorry, Keith. I'm not the brains of this group."
"I'll say," Lance said at very low volume.
Nanny lost and straightened herself out, "Vaht about you, Keith?"
Keith spaced out for a little bit(Doomanite LSD had lasting effects) and had to be shaken back to reality, "Uh...nope...not at the
moment."
Suddenly the walls shook and the evil spirits' portal opened up again, ~Any luck yet?~
"Nope," Lance said simply.
~We'll give you a few pointers...number one rule: Lotor and Allura have to be ALONE for the spell to be broken,~ the spirits told
the Voltron Force.
"Sheez...Doomanite rules conquering(comparison: Australian rules football) sure is shifty," Lance commented.
"You mean Lotor and the princess must be by themselves?! That's CRAZY!! I think her people would rather her asleep!" Pidge
protested.
"Well, I for one would rather her awake!" Keith said valiantly.
~That's the attitude we'd like to see!~
"We'll be right outside that door! When the spell is broken, we blast it open and BOOM! goes Lotor!" Hunk explained.
"I still don't like it!" Pidge whined, "He'd get to KISS her! Lotor, the bad guy! Prince of--"
"Deed you say PREENCE?! Lotor's a PREENCE?!" Nanny asked, astonished.
"I just TOLD you three hours ago!" Pidge growled irritably.
"Eef he's a preence, zen he MUST be a leetle bit mannerly," Nanny stated.
"I don't think you know Lotor like we do, Nanny. See...he's an EVIL prince. EVIL. Can you say EVIL, Nanny?" Lance asked in his
Mr. Rodgers' voice.
Nanny gave him a LOOK and he slunked back into his slightly hunched position with his hands in his jacket. Nanny spoke once
again, "Eef he's not mannerly, zen how can he call himself a prince?!"
"He wears a skirt. That's how," Keith said.
"How short?" Nanny asked.
Keith pointed a little above mid thigh, "This high I think," he said.
"OOO!"
"He wears PANTS, too, Nanny!" Lance said, shaking his head disgustedly. "Oh...sorry," Nanny apologized.
"If he wears a skirt, he can call himself a prince. It's a medieval thing. Princes are allowed to wear skirts. It's a sign of dignity,"
Hunk said.
"We don't know what KIND of dignity it is, though!" snickered Pidge. Meanwhile, on Doom, a fully dressed Prince Lotor was
running up and down the corridors of his castle, saying "Zooom!" like Freakazoid, singing joyously, "WOOHOO!! I finally get the
prin-cess! I finally get the prin-cess! Nanny nanny moo moo! She's gunna be all mi-ine! And Vol-tron can't stop me!"
Passing guards and soldiers and slaves stood and stopped in their tracks to give him quizzical looks and they'd say, "He's gone
funny!"
"I HEARD that!!" he'd reply and sprint jovially down the escalator.
Today was going to be the most perfect day for Lotor. He'd finally get Princess Allura for his own and Arus would be conquered at
last. Absolutely NOTHING could go wrong. If it did, then Lotor would have the thing that went wrong tortured into being right. He
decided to zooom back down to his room to take one last (39th) look in the mirror before he left.
"Okie dokie! One quick look and it's off to AAAAAAAAAh!!" Lotor gasped as he gazed, horrified, into the mirror. It was the
worst thing that could've happened to him on this particular day. It was worse than worst! It was the worstestest: a bad face day!
"Why does this ALWAYS happen to me on days I get to be close to the princess?!" Lotor growled, trying to push his nose back two
inches into his face where it was supposed to be, but to no avail, "Go IN!! Be PERFECT like you normally are, stupid face!!" he
spouted disgustedly.
A slave happened to wander in randomly and she greeted him cheerily, "Hello, Your Highness! Glad you're feeling so uppity this--"
Lotor didn't turn around, but he screamed at her, "GO WAY!!! LEAVE ME ALONE! I want NO ONE near me today!! Tell
EVERYONE!"
"Y-yes, sir...I-I will," stuttered the slightly shaken slave who sold shea sells on the she sore...sea shells on the shay sore...soe shays
on the sher shee...ah, forget it.
Lotor went back to examining his bent up face. He looked at his jaw line, which had used to be perfectly rounded off at the corners
but now was squared off like Zarkon's, "WHY did this have to happen TODAY?!" he whined, trying to bump his head on the
mirror as he tilted it down, but his nose prohibited him from doing so.
Lotor stepped out of his bathroom and flung himself on the bed, "How did this happen without me noticing?! The last time I
checked in the mirror was five minutes ago! I looked GREAT then! I'm going to have to have Haggar check into this," he said,
getting up and walking both miles to Haggar's Lab.
