"Haggar!!! HA-ggar!! Where are you, old witch?! Where are you when I NEED you?! HAGGAAAAR!!" he shouted through the paper towel he had used to conceal his disfigured face.

The only reply he was was from Kitty, who jumped on his head.

"Agh!! Kitty, get off my head!! Where's Haggar?!" Lotor growled, trying to pry the cat off his head, but it didn't work. She was already curled up comfortably on the prince's head.

Kitty's tail flipped in front of Lotor's eyes, making it impossible to see as he walked forward, looking for the witch. He tripped and fell on an old TV antenna and scratched the right side of his already disfigured face, "How did I EVER get this much good luck?!" Lotor growled sarcastically as Kitty jumped off his head.

She nonchalantly pawed over to Haggar's empty chair by her crystal ball and curled up on the fuzzy cushion. That gave Lotor an idea, "Hey, maybe I can see where she is with the crystal ball!"

"Well, DUH!" would've been Kitty's remark if she could talk, but seeing as she presently could not, she just gave him a stare that said, "You're dumber than a bag of hammers, boy."

Lotor walked cautiously over to Haggar's crystal ball and looked at its shiny surface, trying to figure out how it worked. He'd never been really interested in Haggar's voodoo prior to this event, but now he wished that he'd listened to some of her babblings a little more than he had in the past. He took a stab at activating the crystal ball, "Sim sim, sallabim!"

Nothing happened.

"Uuh...Crystal Ball of Haggar, Gimme Sight Beyond Sight!"

Nothing happened.

Lotor's patience was beginning to dwindle, "Haggar, where the heck ARE you?!" she'd told him how to work her crystal ball about the time they had captured Princess Romelle, but he didn't want to listen to her.

"But it's so simple, Your Majesty!" she had tried, but Lotor had waved her away, "All you have to do is say--" but a guard had put a hand over her mouth.

Lotor pinched his recently elongated nose with his fingers and tried one last time to work the thing, "Show me Haggar, you stupid overgrown MARBLE!!"

The crystal ball shimmered a little and beams of light came out of it. Lotor panicked and fell back into Haggar's chair, accidentally squshing Kitty in the process. She retaliated by digging her claws into his posterior.

Lotor crossed his eyes in pain and mumbled over the howling spirits encircling the crystal ball, "This is NOT my day."

All the occult figures and evil spirits were sucked into the crystal ball and Lotor gazed into it(everybody has to GAZE into crystal balls, that's what they're made for). He saw a portrait of Croccodile Dundee held to the wall with knives. The view panned to the door, where Zarkon and Haggar entered.

"Oh, YEAH! NOW I remember!! They went to the Outback Steakhouse, leaving me here to take over Arus!" Lotor figured out. He had forgotten about it when he had realized that the princess was as good as his and began jumping around the room. Lotor leaned forward in his seat so Kitty could scramble out and watched intently as the king and the witch took their seats and looked at the menus. Lotor wondered if something would happen if he tried to contact Haggar through the ball,

"HAGGAR!!" he screamed.

"AAh!" she almost jumped out of her seat as the sound of Lotor's voice bounced off the insides of her brain, "Uuh...sire, please excuse me, I have to go to the ladies' room."

"Don't be too long, Haggar," Zarkon said.

Haggar got up and went into the ladies room and faced a corner, "What the heck are you on my crystal ball for, Lotor?! It's mine!"

"I need your help!" Lotor beseeched.

"What the heck for?! Why aren't you storming Arus?!" Haggar growled.

"I wanted everything to be perfect! Then something happened to me!! Something terrible, horrible, awful!" Lotor explained.

"What happened, ya little squirt?!"

"I got a bad face day! It just HAPPENED! Out of the blue! In less than five minutes!! It tried to SWAT me! Like a bug!" Lotor told her hysterically.

"Lotor, I think you should stop watching the Cartoon Network. It's getting to your head," Haggar replied.

"No! It's urgent! I need you to find a way to make my face better! You should see me!! I look like my father!! I'm HIDEOUS!!" Lotor whined.

"What's wrong with looking like Zarkon?" Haggar asked.

"I don't want to wake up Princess Allura looking like THIS!" Lotor bellowed.

"It's healed itself before, hasn't it?" asked Haggar impatiently.

"It usually takes three DAYS to heal itself!" Lotor complained.

"All right, all right! Go down to the seashore and drink a cup of the water, then SWALLOW it. That makes the healing process six times as fast," Haggar instructed.

"Right! I'll do that! Thanks bunches!" Lotor said, abandoning the crystal ball and heading for the sea shore ten miles from Castle Doom.

Meanwhile, on Arus again, the Voltron Force, with Nanny and without the princess, was using their collective IQ of 70 (with the princess, it'd be 76) to come up with an idea to stop Lotor from getting the last laugh.

"How about we hypnotize him?" suggested Hunk.

"He'd hypnotize US first!" Lance said with his hands in his pockets.

"Maybe we could drug him!" Keith said grudgingly.

"What with?" asked Pidge, "We burned all those poison flowers he sent us!"

The space mice giggled, imagining Lotor twirling around, lalalalalalaing his heart out.

"I'm not so sure of that, Pidge!" Lance said shrewdly, pulling a sack of seeds from his jacket, "You know how I HATE to see a species of flower die out!"

"Hoo, boy!" Keith said anxiously, Payback time!!, he thought.

"So VE get Lotor high on flowers! You boys are geniuses!" Nanny praised, squeezing Lance.

He struggled for air and managed a weak, "Nanny! Me! Human! Must! Breathe! Let go!"

Nanny released him and Lance continued to live, "Sorry about zat," she apologized.

"Oo! This is gunna be GOOD!" Pidge expressed, trying to contain himself.

He could no longer and burst out laughing, as did everybody else in the room (except Allura). They all just stood there laughing inanely for a full half hour until they choked.

"NOW all we have to do is wait for him to come!" Keith said almost evilly, looking at the sky.

"I'll go tell Koran the good and bad news," Pidge said.

"Better only tell him the good news, he might have a heart attack any time soon!" Lance warned when Koran himself stepped in unannounced.

He looked at the sleeping princess and at the Voltron Force and Nanny, "What's going on here?" he asked.

Hunk told him what had happened and Koran fell to the floor, having an epileptic seizure.

Lotor's face was back to normal, but he couldn't go to Arus. Mogor had all the guards bar all the ships at 10:00pm, they even bolted the hangar where his private ship, that dumb pterodactyl-lookin' thing, was.

He got dressed for bed again and looked at the scar the TV antenna in Haggar's lab had given him six hours ago. It didn't disfigure any of his restored handsome features at all. It was almost right against the angle of his cheekbone and made him look a bit more dangerous(most scars usually do that anyway, no matter WHERE they are).

Lotor was about to flop back into bed when he realized he hadn't eaten anything in two days. Seeing as everyone in the castle was asleep at this time, it would be excruciatingly difficult to get some without going to the kitchens himself, so that's what he did. Lotor half-slid in his fuzzy slippers down to the kitchens and took a peek in the refrigerator. It had been ages since he had raided THIS domain. He hadn't done it since he was 14 or 15. He forgot what refrigerated food tasted like, as well. As a teenager, he had lived on Cheetos and TV dinners, but since then, everything he ate had been served to him, so he was a little unused to the idea of canned spaghetti now.

Lotor abandoned the can he had been trying to open with a steak knife and decided to make himself a sandwich. This had also not been done for an eternity. The cooks of Doom refused to be outdone by supermarkets, so there were none on Doom which allowed the slicing of meats or meat-like products, and therefore everything to be sliced was sliced by the cook, on the spot. Lotor got the privilege of getting earth satellite cable and had watched a few cooking shows when there was nothing to do on a Sunday afternoon and thought it was as easy as it looked. Lotor pulled out a big plate of Doomanite turkey that had already been cooked. It was green, but that was okay because Doomanite turkey was ALWAYS green. The prince selected one of the more viscous-looking knives, twirled it around like it was a sword and brought it down right on Kitty's tail, "Oops...those grow back, don't they?" he asked.

She reowed and hissed in pain and jumped on Lotor's head again, "You STUPID, STUPID cat! If you insist on following me around, you have an appetite for getting HURT!" he bellowed, wrenching Kitty off his head and tossing her to the far wall. She got up, shook her little kitty head and walked nonchalantly out of the kitchen.

"Haggar's gotta get that thing fixed," he mumbled, looking at the bloody mess he'd accidentally made on the counter. Cats' tails held more blood than Lotor had thought; it was everywhere, even on the turkey. He washed the bird off in the sink and put it back in the fridge and wiped off the counter tops and the floor with a sponge. "I think I'll go for something simple," he said to himself and looked in the freezer for TV dinners. He found none, so his search extended to the cabinets for a pop tart. After a half an hour of searching, he finally found one, but it was all bent up. Still, it was a pop tart, and a pop tart was a pop tart no matter what its form.

He flattened it out as much as he could without breaking it and with some effort, jammed the Doomanite chocolate pop tart with raspberry sprinkles into the toaster. During the eternity it took for the tart to pop, Lotor took a look at the tips of his hair. No split ends, no freakishly long or short ones, all perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect. If I'm so perfect, why doesn't Allura like me? he thought.

The toaster then made that sound toasters usually make when they're done cooking the thing they were cooking, but Lotor saw no tart pop. He looked into the smoking appliance and saw that the now accordion-folded pop tart was melting into the bottom of the toaster.

Now, Prince Lotor wasn't the smartest 22 year-old in the galaxy, but at least this could be said: his perseverance, whether it be in stalking princesses or wrenching a pop tart out of a plugged-in toaster with a metal fork, was commendable.

However, his perseverance would definitely NOT be commended by the cook when he saw the burnt, half-melted remains of what used to be a pretty damned good toaster.

"Hmmm..." Lotor reflected as he pulled out the frayed remains of the power cord, "Maybe it would've been better to have eaten it raw."

At the Outback, Haggar and Zarkon were polishing off their cheese fries, waiting for their main courses to arrive. Haggar had noticed that when she got back from the bathroom, all the seafood entrees had been mysteriously scratched off with a Sharpie.

Topic of conversation had been truly riveting: Zarkon had babbled on for what seemed like hours about the lifestyles of the Vegetan antarctic sea slug until he finally changed the subject to his defenses against being assassinated(he proposed that all his subjects shave their heads, stick fish in their ears and grow a ridge of fungus down their faces. To this, Haggar had given a blank stare that could've shaken a hungry Siberian Tiger). Then, to insure himself that Haggar wouldn't lunge at him across the table with her knife, he asked her how she'd think Lotor'd look like with a Cary Elwes haircut. Receiving another blank stare, he told her the story of how Yurak got his robot eye in.

"Yurak had the misfortune of having two of his girlfriends meet each other in his presence. One of them had a pen on her."

Blank stare from Haggar.

"Uhhhh...were you there when I put my crown on Lotor when he was six?" he tried desperately.

"Yes," croaked the old witch, who was on the verge of stuffing a dinner roll in Zarkon's mouth to shut him up.

Suddenly, the door opened as Zarkon was reminiscing about the many times he had 'accidentally' dropped Lotor on his head when he was a small child. The person who then entered wore a black holocaust cloak and was not seen by Zarkon, whose back was to the door. There was a hat on the wall held in place by a three foot steak knife with a serrated edge. The cloaked person pulled it out and hid it(as much as was possible) in the cloak's sleeve.

Zarkon droned on endlessly until Haggar screamed, "YOUR HIGHNESS!! WATCH OUT!!!"

The man in the cloak raised the knife high and proclaimed in a bad Norwegian accent: "I AM ZE ANGEL OFF DEATH!! I am loffed by all goot people unt feered by eevil! Zay yuer last vyurds, Zarkon!!"