Five minutes after everyone got back, Lotor rose from his spot on the floor and sat on Allura's bed. Pidge zoomed over to a spot
within nose-range of the prince and waited.
Lotor stroked Allura's hair and looked like he was about to go into another long poetry schpeel, but he instead whispered, "I love
you," and put his right index finger on the tip of the princess's nose. He stroked her face and drew closer...
"SMELL MY FLOWER!!" Pidge yelled in Lotor's pointy left ear, almost sticking the flower up his nose.
Lotor took a moment to figure out what had just been thrust into his face. He stood up, looked at he flower, took a sniff and looked
at the flower again, then he realized something.
"Oh, [bad word]..." Lotor dropped to the floor, "do you realize what you've DONE?"
"Yeah! We've stopped you from taking the princess!" Pidge announced triumphantly, putting his(her/its) hands on his(her/its) hips
and looking back at the distinctly male part of the Voltron Force, who were glaring at him(her/it).
"No, you've totally MESSED up the entire thing!" Keith almost yelled, but his gentle nature(puke)didn't let him.
Lotor was groaning on the floor and Lance growled, "You were supposed to put the flower in his face AFTER the princess was
awake!"
"Um...oops?" Pidge squeaked.
The Voltron Force growled at Pidge and Pidge hung his(her/its) head in shame, then Keith said, "Okay, people, we need to take care
of more important matters than boiling Pidge in oil now."
"Aaw!" Lance groaned.
Keith knelt down by Lotor, who had crawled into a secluded corner of the attic and was shivering and mumbling, "We all live in a
yellow submarine, yellow submarine, yellow submarine..."
"What are these flowers to your people, Lotor?" Keith asked.
Lotor grimaced and twitched, "Rubber duckies!"
"He's hallucinating!" Hunk pointed out the obvious.
"I'm Mr. Bucket!"
"That won't help you at all, Lotor!" Keith said, shaking the drule.
"But I AM!" Lotor protested.
"The princess doesn't LIKE Mr. Bucket!" Lance told him.
Lotor blinked like a four-year-old and started to shake, "Gunna...die!! Help! Please! Headache...coming after me! Shiny...wings
of...Death...coming to take me away...haha...hoho heehee...to the funny farm! Where life is beautiful all the time..."
"For a minute there, I thought that was cryptic," Lance remarked.
Keith shook Lotor a little more, "How do we repair--ur--cure you?"
Lotor twitched spasmotically for the next five minutes, then grabbed Keith by the collar urgently,
"Doctor...!"
"You need a doctor?" Keith asked.
Lotor shook his head violently and shook Keith by the shoulders with both hands, "D-doctor...! Doct-doctor...peh-pep...Doc--!"
"Huh?" Keith responded.
Having no luck with Keith's empty head, Lotor lunged at Pidge, "D-d-oct...doctor...p...pep..."
"Eew!! Get 'im off me!!" Pidge wailed.
Lotor crawled into the fetal position and sobbed, "Per...! Doc-doct-tor...Pepper!!"
"Doctor Pepper?" Lance queried.
Lotor nodded his head vehemently.
"What's Doctor...Pepper?" Keith asked.
"It's a soda!" Hunk exclaimed.
"You would know, Hunk!" Lance chuckled.
Lotor scrambled back onto his feet and reached into his pocket, pulling out three quarters. He held them out to Hunk urgently.
Hunk thought for awhile (rare occasion that it was) and took off for the vending machine, even though he didn't really want to save
his enemy's life, but what the hell? Lotor'd given him enough to visit the snack vending machine as well and wasn't about to pass up
those homogenized dehydrated cheese fries he'd been eyeing earlier in the hour.
Hunk got the Dr. Pepper, Lotor gulped half of it down and stood up dramatically, pressing the communicator thinggy on his belt,
"Mogor! Launch the Robeast!! You people threatening me? Huh? Ok...just for that...to save my neck...here it is! Keep in mind that
this is the last bit of what I've written. There's no more after this...YET.
"What?! After we just saved your life?!" Pidge cheeped.
"Yup!" Lotor said plainly, taking a sip of Dr. Pepper and looking at the camera in an advertizing fashion.
"What about the princess?!" Keith asked urgently.
"Oh, THAT! I'm glad you reminded me!" Lotor chuckled, taking a step back and holding Allura's hand in his, "Beam me up,
Haggar!"
There were some dumb special effects and some twinkling sounds and then, Lotor and Princess Allura were gone.
"D'oh!" Hunk was heard to say through his munching.
There was a rumbling from outside and out popped the shiny Robeast from about around the beginning of the story. Pidge looked
animely out the window and gurgled worriedly, "How're we gunna form Voltron without the princess?"
Nanny and Koran stepped forward.
Lance pushed them back, "Ah...I don't think this planet could STAND losing you two too...I guess Voltron's just going to have to
hop...right, Keith?"
Lance looked at him with desperate eyes and Keith started to protest when someone came a-crashing through the window, "SVEN!"
"In der flesh!! Who'd you think I vas? Der Nanny?" Sven chuckled, brushing his hands off. Nanny's eyes were murderous.
"No time for chitchat now! To the lions!" Keith commanded.
Everybody but Sven followed, who had a confused look on his face, "How low zey've zunk," he shook his head and followed.
Lotor finished the last of his Dr. Pepper in his wineglass and turned on the loudspeaker again, "I'VE GOT YOUR PRINCESS!
NYEAH NYEAH NYEAH NYEAH NYEAH NYEAH!! I'M NOT GUNNA LET HER GO-O! NOW KISS MY PURPLE A-ASS!
THE VOLTRON FORCE IS AS USEFUL AS A HORSE BEING DROWNED IN MOLTEN GLA-ASS!"
One of the peasants spoke up, "What KIND of a horse?"
"Shut up, silly person, or I will taunt you a second time-a!" Lotor warned in a French accent.
"What KIND of glass?" asked the peasant further.
"WHY DO YOU ASK?"
"Cos Voltron looks pretty put together about now," the peasant said.
"YOU LIE!!" Lotor bellowed.
"Well, what's THAT, then?" asked the peasant, pointing to the fully assembled Voltron, who was dancing around with little
Japanese paper fans with a pink and yellow stripey background.
"Oh, nutbunnies..." Lotor gulped, dropping the P.A. microphone.
"One more robeast DEAD!" Haggar spat.
"One more plan you screwed up!" Zarkon bellowed.
"One more day I'm on my own..." Eponine sang.
"One more mental scar in my head!" Mogor whined.
Lotor stuck his bottom lip out and made a sad-puppy face.
"That's not going to work THIS time, squirt!" Zarkon growled, throwing another of his priceless goblets at his son. This was the
third one that hour.
"You sure screwed up royal this time!" Haggar accused, pointing her knobby left forefinger at the prince,"And you weren't even
wearing your royal clothes! Look at that raggedy little piece of cloth he's got draped over his upper body! What IS that?!"
" 'S called a T-shirt, Haggar..." Mogor whispered.
"And those PANTS! Ugh! They do NOT match the boots!" Haggar wailed, flailing her arms animely.
Haggar got a blank stare from the Prince and King of Doom and backed away slowly...slowly...slowly, turnedandRAN!
Mogor snorted, "Pfft...women!"
"Um...father?" Lotor chanced.
"What is it, my little ANGEL of a son?" Zarkon said in his most whiney voice, throwing another goblet at him.
"Uh...Princess Allura's kinda...still asleep?" Lotor stated.
Blank stare from the King of Doom.
Lotor started to sweat, "Aah...could I...y'know...kinna...um...go back to Arus? Y-y'know, t' wake her up?"
Blank stare from the King of Doom.
"PLEASE, DADDY!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEASE!!!" Lotor begged.
Priceless-goblet-throw from the King of Doom. "Ok...the Doomanites are gone...but the princess is still asleep!" Keith, master of
stating the obvious, stated.
"Deed zshe take too much NyQuil jestyerday?" Sven queried.
"No...she...she...got a spell put on her!" Pidge whined, hugging Hunk around the waist and banging his(her, its) fists on his
stomach.
"Oh...I zee...one of ZOZE theengs, eezeet?" Sven asked.
"Yup," Hunk said with his usual intelligence.
"Zo...'ow do we break der schpell?" Sven asked.
Pidge looked at the ground, "Lotor has to wake her up..."
"Bummer..." Sven replied, looking at the floor, "veren't zere any loop'oles?"
"Loopholes?" Keith asked.
"Vaht ver ze conditions of de schpell?" Sven asked.
"I don't remember," said Hunk.
"That's not surprising!" Lance remarked.
Sven sighed, "I gyess it's ahp to me to check de scryipt zen." The Norwegian pilot reached under the chair he was sitting on and
pulled out his script, flipping through it, "Hmm...lyet's zee...Lotor griping about not beink able to 'ave ze Preencess...Doomanite
guards all vatching talkshows...'You DO lyook green', Zarkon said...Koran znatched the bag off of Nanny's face ant RAN...'You
gobbled up my zock yeztyerday!'...4/5ths of ze Voltron force in chains...Hunk vaz deezkovering 'ow gut Doomanite cockroaches
could taste..EEW!!"
Everyone looked at Hunk discustedly and Sven went back to his page-flipping.
"'Nobody eevil vears pink!' Allura proclyiamed...'Lotor, do zis, Lotor, do zat'...'Crysel Ball off Haggar, Gyimmee Zight Beyont
Zight'...Koran fell to ze flyoor, in an epylyeptic seizure...brought ze knife down right on Kyitty's tail,'Oops, zoze grow back, don't
zey?'...'I AM ZE ANGEL OFF DEATH!!'...'UNCONDITIONAL SENDER!!'..zey should've really done a byetter job off veeding
out ze typeos...~I myust vind a more zuitable 'ost body!~...'Noh! Noh! You leaf ze buhnnies out off zis!'..."
"I think you went past it a long time ago, Sven," Lance said.
"Yust reminiscing," Sven said defensively, flipping back through the scriptbook, "Ah...'ere! I vound eet!"
"Whaz it say?!" Pidge asked anxiously.
"Eet zez zat only Preence Lotor can break ze schpell," Sven said, frowning.
Keith stood up as he felt a cold wind behind his back and turned around, "UnLESS...!"
Another plothole swirled into exsistance. Keith, Lance, Pidge and Hunk landed in their lions, totally disoriented. Lotor landed in his
command ship, also quite disoriented. Another robeast was dancing around in front of the castle. Things seemed to be back to
normal. Keith radioed the blue lion, "Sven?"
"No Sven here, Keith," Allura said with her usual way-too-optomistic tone of voice.
"Princess! You're awake!" Pidge cheered.
Allura giggled ditzyly, "Of course I am, Pidge! I've been awake all day!"
Lance slapped his face and thought, The dimwit FORGOT!!
Lotor used his P.A. microphone again, "UM...WHERE WAS I?"
"You were in the middle of one of your threats!" Allura snapped.
The robeast slashed at the space the black lion had been five minutes ago.
"Is it just me, or is that robeast a little on the slow side?" Lance asked no one in particular.
"Whatever,"Keith said, "anyway, the only good robeast is a dead--"
"Keith! TV Y7!" Pidge snapped.
"All right, team, let's form Voltron!" Keith shouted.
Then came the interminable 'Form Voltron' sequence.
"Form Blazing Sword!"
Haggar held out a plate to King Zarkon after the battle, "Chopped robeast, sire?"
Zarkon grumbled something incoherent and picked up a piece. Lotor was in his usual groveling position at the base of the king'
throne. He looked fearfully up into his father's scowl. Zarkon bellowed, "You failed THAT fast?!"
"Father, it's not my fault! It was a plotho--"
"Don't you go blaming story elements, kid! I'm tired of you failing all the time! Go to your room! You're grounded for the rest of the
day!" Zarkon bellowed, standing up.
"But!!"
"Nobody wants to hear about your butt! Now GIT!"
Lotor slunked off to his room, 30 minutes away.
Meanwhile, on PLanet Arus, Princess Allura waved princessly to the big crowd that had gathered around outside The Castle of
Lions. Princess Allura lost her balance and fell, breaking her leg. Her leg eventualy healed in time for the next exciting episode of:
VOLTRON: DEFENDER OF THE UNIVERSE