My first Mummy fanfic. Trying to make impression on his girlfriend, Alex...what do you think? Yes, resurrected Imhotep again! Chapters 4 and 5 are here. Pls R/R!
Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,437 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: Jun 11, 2001 - Published: Jun 7, 2001 - id: 308976
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mum2.htmlDisclaimer / author: The
night descended on the unhappy city, along with several German airplanes
and several dozens of bombs (you forgot the year, didn't you?), while the
dwellers of British Museum were occupied with other things…
Chapter 2: I wonna be cute, dudes!
Hour or something like that passed
and pile of dirt stirred, cursed on ancient Egyptian and turned back into
Mummy. At the same time scarab bugs became overfed by teacher and students
and got sick. They spitted a little pieces of something abominable onto
the floor and onto the Mummy's feet. Mummy: Disgusting stuff. What
could it possibly be? Reads incantation on ancient
Egyptian, and abominable stuff forms itself into Benny's body Mummy (obviously oblivious to
the fact that they had a close acquaintance once): Do you speak English?
Parle vu France? Sprefen zi Doich? Uk kuk Volapuk? Ata medaber ivrit? (Author's
remark: sorry guys, I would put in more but I'm not very good linguist) Benny: Beetzem, ani medaber sfat
Mitzraim, aval im ata maadif ivrit…(Hebrew: Actually, I can speak ancient
Egyptian, but if you prefer Hebrew…) Mummy: Well then. Serve me for
all eternity, and the awards will be great (shows him a couple of fake
trinkets, obviously bought in the nearest tourist shop) Benny (blissfully): I'm with
you, Master. Mummy (looking in the broken
glass): What the mess of face! Am I supposed to charm Anuck-Su-Namun in
such a revolting appearance? Do something, my servant! Benny (wistfully): Well I can bring imagemakers from Universal Studios,
but it'll take a time… May be you just can go to the beauty salon and polish
your nails? Mummy (wearily): Get the chest, you fool of Gabor! Benny ducks in the nearest sarcophagus and pulls out the dusty box with
great fluorescent inscription on it "Don't drop, breakable stuff". Five American Tourists enters the room: American Tourist N1: Cool, I like this Mummy advertising company, look
what they've put there! He looks just as the Mummy of Imhotep! American Tourist N2: And this guy looks like Benny Gabor! American Tourist N3: And those bugs looks like flesh-eating scarab bugs! Flesh-eating scarab bugs gets insulted and munches him quickly. American Tourist N4: Cool, that's looking like they ate him! Benny and Imhotep's Mummy (chorused with the same detest in their voices):
Americans! Benny: Hey guys a have an additional
surprise from Universal Studios out there! American Tourist N1 approaches the chest and reads the label "Great candy
lies in this box". However, he didn't put attention to the tiny handwriting
under it, which reads: "It sucks!" He opens the chest, great candy leaps
from it and sucks him dry. Imhotep's Mummy: You dude you messed the boxes! Benny (carelessly) : All right, no problems! Shoves the chest and dry body under the sarcophagus and pulls out a new
one. Benny (to the American Tourist N4): Couldn't you please open that box?
The lock system is really tricky, I cannot work it out… American Tourist N4 (with stupid proud smile): Easily! Opens the chest and gets sucked dry by Imhotep. Imhotep: That was tasty! Proceed! Benny (to the American Tourist
N3): Hey guy wonna win a free trip to Majorca for you and your girlfriend?
Just open that box and that's it! American Tourist N3 opens the
chest and gets sucked dry by Imhotep. Imhotep (looking in the mirror,
which he had stolen from the handbag of eaten teacher): One more effort! Benny (to the American Tourist
N…Gad, I messed this numbers thing, so just to remained American Tourist):
Buddy, open that chest and you'll get sucked dry by scary big Mummy! Remained American Tourist: With
my whole pleasure! Opens the chest and gets sucked
dry by the Imhotep. Imhotep (now looking great):
I looks great! Now to resurrect Anuck-Su-Namun and conquer the world! Benny (tentatively): May be better
first conquer the world and then resurrect Anuck-Su-Namun? Imhotep: Tistom and leh tizdaien!
(Hebrew…Hmm, are you sure you wonna read the translation in PG-13 fiction?)
Any feedback will be appreciated,
otherwise the gang of scary little pygmies will stub their scary big knifes
in your asses, dear readers!
More later…
The author would like to thank you for your continued support. Your review has been posted.