It was ironic, he supposed, that he would feel more clear-minded drunk than sober. Living with all the injustices of the past and horrors of the future did nothing but bring ruin to his mind. At least with the fog of alcohol clouding his judgement, he could allow finally himself to ignore the constant barrage of unsettling memories.
Just this once, amidst the din and cheer of this squalid camp of dispossessed refugees, Eren would allow himself to enjoy himself. He would allow himself to live in the moment, for as long as it would last.
His future memories were vague, at best. At worst, they were outright divorced from comprehensible time and space. Infuriatingly, he had no way of knowing truly what he saw until it was simply too late. For 4 excruciating years, all he could do was simply watch as the situation of he and his loved ones grew more dire and uncertain. Eren had promised himself that day he would never simply stand by and watch helplessly ever again, a promise he would fail to uphold.
Now, here he somehow found himself, among complete strangers getting himself plastered. Well, his friends were plastered. Eren, on the other hand, had a bit more than a light buzz going. He distinctly recalled them giving him shit for "getting separated" and now look at them, partying and drinking without a care in the world. Ironic.
Looking at his friends, you would never have guessed that just tomorrow morning the fate of their home would be decided in a meeting of various groups championing the rights of the Eldian people. It seemed none of them could resist the temptation of free wine, not even perpetually quiet and withdrawn Mikasa. They all clearly still had hope tomorrow's proceedings will be encouraging. It truly was a shame their hopes will all be dashed, for the event tomorrow has already been set in stone years ago.
He wasn't surprised. He had learnt firsthand that hope was the first step on the road to disappointment.
Yet still, seeing them so… happy and joyous filled him with warmth. He loved all of them so much, he could cry (again). Most people thought him impulsive and unobservant, but he saw more than most gave him credit for. All their little quirks and idiosyncrasies were on full display, without the mask of sobriety guarding their feelings.
Connie and Sasha were both goading one another into an impromptu drinking competition. Both of them will inevitably end up passed out or vomiting on the flour and regretting ever taking a sip of alcohol (until, of course their next harebrained competition). Armin was trying to keep himself put together, ever the diplomat. His success was… mixed at best. Jean was guzzling glass after glass of red wine, always making sure to stay one drink ahead of Eren himself. He tried to be sneaky about it too, which was funny considering Eren was sure the entire tent could hear his grumblings about "not being shown up by that suicidal bastard."
And then there was Mikasa, meekly taking light sips of her own wine glass. She had, by far, the least out of the entire Survey Corps, yet was somehow just as tipsy and light-headed as the rest judging from her idle swaying and rosy face. Looks like Ackerman blood has one weakness.
He had rarely seen her drunk and uninhibited. In all honesty, it sort of pissed him off. It was selfish, he knew, but that smiling face ought to be reserved for him (and Armin, he supposed). But he was trying his best not to stare, to no success at all. Still, she didn't seem to mind, as whenever she met his gaze her face would redden further and she would lightly giggle. He hoped he didn't look too creepy.
All in all, it was very lively company. The refugees were quite accommodating as well, although he was not certain how friendly they would be if they knew just who they were and their cursed heritage. Maybe they would not have cared or maybe they would throw them out in rage and prejudice, either way what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.
It seems the boy he saved told his entire extended family about the man who saved him from a gang of violent shopkeepers, including who seemed to be his grandfather who definitely brought out the good stuff to thank him for protecting his boy. Or maybe they were just looking for an excuse to drink to make the world a bit lighter just for one night, just like Eren himself.
Speaking of the boy, he was currently engaged in a pantomime performance of Eren's impromptu rescue of him earlier that day, complete with accompanying punches, kicks and sound effects to boot. After the boy delivered a surprisingly good interpretation of Eren's own haymaker to the face of one of his bullies, he launched into another unintelligible story about that day to the entire tent. Judging from the approving looks of his family, it seems he was held in very high regard. Almost like he was some sort of hero.
He wished he could tell the boy that he was the furthest thing from a hero, just a confused fool unsure of himself despite having all the power in the world. He wanted to tell him he should run as fast as he could, away from Marley.
He wants another drink.
It seemed his friends got enough of his little story to understand what Eren did for him, to mixed reactions. Connie and Sasha were barely paying attention, still trying to one-up each other. Armin was no doubt reminded of the many times he would take it upon himself to fight off his bullies, no matter how outmatched he was. Jean was grumbling to himself, in his usual jealousy and snark. He kept his voice low but Eren could distinctly hear him mumble the words "show-off". But Mikasa's reaction is what really set him off.
She was staring at him openly and smiling, widely. It reminded him of that day in the field of bellflowers facing the Smiling Titan, when she thanked him for all that he did for her. He wanted to tell her back then that he really didn't do much for her, that she would be better off if she just forgot about him. But he just couldn't, instead he made another promise that he would not be able to keep.
If it was difficult prying his eyes away from her before, now it was downright impossible. Her raven hair, onyx eyes and rosey, pouting cheeks had him enraptured. Since when did he become such a gawking fool? He was never one for flirting or dating, even when the opportunity presented itself back in his cadet days. Now it seems a pretty face was enough to knock him on his ass and render him a staring moron. But that wasn't exactly true. It wasn't just any pretty face, it was Mikasa.
The unsaid words were clear in her eyes, but she said them anyways. Staring him dead in the eyes, she whispered.
"You saved that boy, just like you saved me…"
Eren had no idea how to respond to that. What could he have possibly said? Accepting her praise would make him nothing more than the deepest of hypocrites. Although, would it really matter? He was already a monster, after all.
What he did know was that no matter the reasoning, he wanted to protect that boy from those men, just like he wanted to protect Mikasa from the horrible fate that awaited her had he not intervened. Whatever happens next, he would always want to protect Mikasa, to make sure she was save and sound no matter what. Eren decided to focus on that.
"All I did was help the kid out a little." Of course, she had a response for that too. She moved her hand from her own lap to his, hesitating a bit before developing the courage to make contact with him.
"You helped me out too, more than just a little." He tried to pick his next words carefully, but they already came out before he could stop them. And they came out far louder than he wanted them to, too.
"And I'll keep trying to protect you for as long as I live, Mikasa."
Then, all the revelry from the friends came to a dramatic pause. Armin, Connie, Sasha and Jean all stopped to stare at the two of them.
Oh shit, they heard.
Mikasa didn't notice, she was too busy staring at him, cheeks blisteringly red and mouth agape. Seems she didn't expect that.
Fuck it, he thought. Moving his own hand to cradle her own, still resting lightly on his lap, he repeated himself uncaring of who heard him.
"I promised you, didn't I?" Eyes wide, all Mikasa could do was gulp and meekly nod. God, he wanted to kiss her.
The two of them continued to stare at each other, hands interlocked, as if time stopped around the two of them. The rest of the Survey Corps appeared much the same in the corner of Eren's eye. Even Connie and Sasha ceased their bullshit to gape at him like a pair of dead fish. Jean in particular looked like he was having conniptions, for obvious reasons.
He had no idea how long he and Mikasa spent gazing into each other's eyes. It could've been seconds. Hell, it felt like hours. Eventually though, the moment was broken when one of them shouted out, quite rudely-
"GET A ROOM!"
And suddenly the room erupted in the drunk laughter of the Survey Corps.
Now that snapped Eren and Mikasa out of their daze, and they awkwardly released their hold on one another. For the rest of the night though, neither of them could keep their eyes off each other and they both knew it.
He really should've just kissed her then and there.
