A Funny thing Happened on the Way to the Gameboy
......
"Jessie!" James whined. "I'm tired of Rattatas. All they ever do is use tail whip. Where's Mewtwo?"
Jessie whacked James. "Idiot. Mewtwo's after you beat the elite four. Have you even gotten to Viridian City yet?"
"I did! And I delivered Oak's parcel. I'm just tired of Rattatas."
"Yous can catch Nidorans on the way to victory road," Meowth commented.
"Really?" James is impressed by the idea of facing something other than a Pidgey or Rattata. "But I thought that was at the end of the game."
"You just go a little ways there. If you go too far, Gary, excuse me, Ash, is going to beat you up, black you out, and steal half your money after dropping you off at the nearest pokecenter."
"Oh." James thinks about this. "But I can get Nidorans?"
"Yes. You can get Nidorans. Although, since you're playing blue, you'll be more likely to find a female one."
"Great! Now, where do I get pokeballs?"
Meowth smacks his forehead in disgust and Jessie smacks James.
"Ow! I was kidding. Who do you think I am, Ash Ketchum? I already got some from the Poke-Mart."
"Uh hunh. Right. We believe you." Jessie rolls her eyes. "Well, since you already have some pokemon now, how about a pokemon battle?"
"Do yous guys realize just how many times someone says that in any given episode?" Meowth asked.
"So?" Jessie said. "Do you want to be moderator? Someone has to do it."
"Only because you to would crash your PCs trying to figure it out if I didn't help."
Jessie whacks Meowth.
"Um, Jessie? Why is the girl telling me I can't join the Cable Club?" asked James.
"Then again, you may have a point," Jessie conceded.
Jessie picks up the cable and shoves it in James' face. "Could it be because you forgot to plug in the cable?"
"Oh! Yeah! Thanks Jessie!"
"Ok, now you two need to both go to the cable club, and at approximately the same time, press the A button to talk to the girl. Then choose the 'battle' option. Can you guys take it from there?"
"Why at the same time? Hey, why is it timing me out?" asked James.
"Because Jessie needs to do the same thing at the same time."
"Oh. Okay, on the count of three. One, two-"
"Wait a minute. I just finished getting timed out from earlier."
"Okay, how about now?"
"Now's good."
Some Jessie and James actually managed to connect their gameboy units up.
"Uh oh. Jessie, I accidentally hit 'trade.' Now what?"
"Um... We turn them off and start over?"
"I can not believe I am putting up with this," muttered Meowth.
"Shut up, Meowth," said Jessie and James.
***
Sometime later...
"You know what, James?"
"What?"
"I have discovered that using a level 3 pokemon in any kind of battle is one of the more futile aspects of this game."
"Especialy when using Pidgeys," James agreed.
Meowth wandered into the room, having had time for a brief catnap whilst Jessie and James attempted to make their pokemon last more than two hits each.
"So who won?"
James immediately groaned.
"Oh."
"Basically," Jessie explained, "I wiped him out with well placed tackles, whereas James actually tried using such attacks as "growl" and "sand-attack."
James moaned. "They put those in there to trick you into thinking you can do something more interesting than bodily slam into your opponent, but how wrong I was!"
"We also discovered that a well-rounded team is no match for one leveled pokemon." Jessie had ignored her captured Rattata and Pidgey and simply fought with her level 9 Charmander. James had unwisely been getting his captured pokemon even with his Squirtle, resulting in a team mostly composed of level 5-7.
"Well, look on the bright side. After all of this, some bug catchers are going to attempt to beat the living daylights out of you with Metapods and Kakunas."
"Metapod! Use harden!... Gee? Why isn't it winning the battle?"
"Now," Meowth continued. "Which of you wants to lose to my level 11 Pikachu here?"
Jessie and James both shudder.
.....
