A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Gameboy

Part Four!

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You might notice the occasional cross-reference in this one. If anything seems totally nonsensical, please assume it is something out of my own twisted brain and will not affect the story in any way, shape, or form. It's also a bit longer than the others, so I warned you!

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Jessie and James have both decided it is time to battle that most fearsome of trainers, Brock, gym leader of Pewter City!

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"Jessie, how many potions are you stocking up?" James asked. They were in the balloon, spying on the twerps. Yesterday had not gone so well ("Looks like we're blasting off again!) and the human members of Team Rocket felt they deserved a break.

Besides, anything to play Pokemon.

They had talked Meowth into the idea by presenting him with two balls of yarn and the promise of one battle each. Secretly, Jessie and James each harbored a very intense desire to wipe out that scrawny Pikachu, even if it was only Meowth's, but they knew that in all likelihood Meowth would systematically dispatch their pokemon and then do his own little victory dance, which usually involved jumping around and annoying snatches of "My Way."

"I just got 2. I'm saving up for pokeballs." Jessie grinned. "Gotta catch 'em all!"

James groaned at the familiar slogan. "Whoever thought of that? I mean, come on. How could anyone feasibly look after that many pokemon without going completely bonkers? I begin to sympathize with Professor Oak."

*****

From very far away: "Yes! Aha! Revenge will be mine!"

More voices.

"This is R1. Saffron City is prepared..."

*****

Jessie shrugged. "Beats me. Now, why did they make it so annoying far to walk from the pokecenter to the gym door?"

"So they could further torment us?"

"Probably. Well, off to destroy the squinty twerp!"

A short silence occurs.

"Um, Jessie?"

"What?"

"Who is this idiot and why is he telling me how to be a 'Champ'?"

"I haven't the foggiest idea. Do we hang around our enemies and give advice to those going up against them? No. This guy is a sellout," proclaimed Jessie.

"Definitely," agreed James.

Another short silence.

"What the heck is a junior trainer and where does he get off trying to battle me?" asked Jessie, grumpy. "There are never junior trainers in the show."

"Well, what about Erika? She had a bunch of students."

"I don't think those counted. Except maybe-" Jessie batted her eyes.

"Who?"

"Remember - Ashley?"

Team Rocket cracks up.

"I can't believe he fell for that one!"

"And didn't he look horrendous in pink?"

"And the curls?"

Jessie and James continue to laugh hysterically, stopping only when they realize they are about to tip the basket of the balloon over and dump its contents (and themselves) a very long way down.

"So," said Jessie between smothered giggles. "The junior trainer. Right."

Jessie proceeded to decimate it with her well-trained Butterfree. Unlike certain twerps who shall be named only when entertaining, Jessie realized that using a fire type (or electric) pokemon was most likely not a good idea against a rock type.

"Well. That was hard."

"Ooh, you're so good at battling, Jessie."

"Shut up James. I'm not helping you. You have Squirtle. Use Bubble or whatever it is you have and you'll wipe 'em out in something like two turns."

"Oh."

"And go to the pokecenter after you beat the kid. You don't have to battle big mean Brock right away."

"But I wanted to send out Jupiter and see if triggered the sprinklers."

"Yeah right. That was a convenient plot device because Ash is a pathetic wimpy boy who can't win a battle without the writers making the gym leader take pity on him."

"I know that. I'm not stupid, you know."

Jessie made a rather unlady-like grunting noise.

"Well, I'm not!"

"Whatever."

"Hmph. You just don't think it's fair that I have Jupiter and you don't."

"You own a planet?"

"A planet?"

"Jupiter is the name of a planet, James."

"I knew that!"

"And you own it because...?"

"I, um..." James mutters something.

"What?" Jessie looms over James threateningly with her mallet.

"Would you believe that's what I named Pikachu?"

"Why on Earth would you name a Pikachu Jupiter?"

"Um..." Jessie threatens with her mallet again.

"She's from Sailor Moon?"

"Sailor M - Oh. Well."

Jessie uncharacteristically puts her mallet away and goes back to playing her game. After visiting the pokecenter, Brock was easy enough to dispatch. This game was really too easy.

"Jessie?"

"What?" Jessie was spending her new funds on pokeballs and using her new TM on her Charmander.

"Why aren't you mad at me?"

"Uh... Because."

"But you hate Sailor Moon. You said she was a sniveling little moron who couldn't stop whining over her boyfriends, or lack thereof."

"I do hate her! She's wimpy. How come she got to be savior of the world while we're regulated to Pikachu-napping? We've even got a talking cat! I mean, come on..." Jessie's other opinions were blanked out in order to prevent a bad crossover from occurring.

While Jessie went on (and on) about the problems with Serena, James stole her gameboy and checked out the pokemon list.

"Mars?"

"WHAT?!" Jessie stopped her dialogue mid-sentence and immediately grabbed at her gameboy. "Gimme that!"

"You named your Charmander Mars?"

"Shut up!" Jessie continued attempting to get her game back, but James held it hostage over the side of the balloon.

"Promise not to make fun of Sailor Moon again?"

"No. Now give it back."

James sighed. If he threw the gameboy over the side, he wouldn't have anyone to battle but Meowth, and he already knew what the outcome of that would be. Besides with his luck it would hit a twerp on the way down and he'd have to battle them or something. With similar results. He just couldn't win. Still...

"Do you promise to battle Meowth the next three times he demands a game?"

"What?! Fine, fine. I'll stop making fun of stupid Serena. Venus and Mercury are still fair game, do you hear me?"

"Whatever." James handed the unit back over, and peace reigned. James, as predicted, easily wiped out Brock's puny force of rock pokemon.

Both now began the treacherous path to Mt. Moon...

*****