A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Gameboy
Part Seven: Mt. Moon, part two!
Author's Note: Hey, if you like these, encourage me to write more by reviewing or e-mailing me! Or visit my website, Chirps of a Cricket! I may even update it someday...
*****
"Jessie, this is so not how Team Rocket works."
"No kidding. Who thinks these things up?"
"I think we decided they live in Nebraska."
"Oh yeah..."
Jessie and James are today hiding deep in the woods near Viridian City, waiting for the hapless twerps to fall in to their most ingenious plan ever - a hole.
"And why do they keep battling? Don't they see that all they do is lose?"
Meowth walked into the clearing carting a large sack of extra batteries.
"How is losing different from what you two always do?" he asked.
"But this is different!" said James.
"Even we can beat these guys," Jessie pointed out.
"Don't they realize that poison and normal types are not exactly the best pokemon around?"
Jessie and James look at each other.
"Oh."
"That explains a few things," said James.
"I think I'm definitely taking up a petition against the writers for sticking us with what are arguably the worst pokemon in the game."
"Not that I don't appreciate Wheezing and feel part of a mutual bond between pokemon and trainer."
"Or that I don't know that Arbok loves me in her own, snake-like way."
"Victreebell..."
"We'll leave Victrebell out of this."
"Of course."
"Remember when Koffing and Ekans evolved, just for us?"
Jessie and James became very teary eyed. Meowth looked on in disgust.
"And when will you two be done reminiscing? You both owe me..." Meowth pulls out a calculator and a long list. "One thousand and twenty three battles. Each."
The human members of Team Rocket groaned.
"How did we rack up so many?" James complained.
"The last fifty are for the batteries." Meowth gestured to the bag he had dumped on a tree stump.
"Batteries!" Jessie and James immediately ripped into the packages.
******
Meanwhile...
"Misty, why is there a hole in the ground?" Ash asked.
"Why don't you fall down it and see?" Misty replied.
"What? Oh - Hey, I'm slipping! Misty, why'd you push me? Brock, get me out of here!"
"I'm not Brock, I'm Tracey," said the so-called Poke-artist. "And I'm tired of being compared to that womanizing creep simply by the distinction of being your sidekick."
"What?"
Tracey sighed. Ash was so easily confused.
"I don't like you," he explained.
"Oh." Ash thought about this for a while.
"Does this mean your not going to help me out of the hole?" he asked.
Misty and Tracey sighed, and little anime mushroom clouds of breath briefly appeared.
"Tracey, whatsay we leave him down there and make our own way as trainers instead of following him around only to be ultimately ignored?"
"Sounds good to me."
They both leave to become famous.
"Hey! I'm the star of this TV show! Hey! Where is everybody? Where'd they go? I'm the main character, spammit!"
******
Jessie and James are leaning against opposite sides of the same tree, little circles in their eyes and stars dancing around their heads.
"Jupiter, thundershock," James mumbled, eyes closed.
"I think he fell asleep after we slipped him that second ball of yarn," Jessie said.
"What?"
"Meowth's asleep."
"But I didn't win yet..." His eyes were still closed.
Jessie sighed. "Then I guess I'll just have to finish Mt. Moon without you."
There was a blur of motion, and suddenly Jessie was faced with a very animated James (no pun intended - well, maybe) diligently destroying Zubats and Geodudes.
"Then again..." Jessie took out her own hair-matching unit, and there was peace in the woods as Meowth slept and Jessie and James engaged in slightly less-than-epic battles against the menace, Team Rocket.
Suddenly, Jessie and James were faced with the super-scary Super Nerd!
"James, do you ever wonder why it's okay that we're forcing this guy to give us a fossil, but attempting to capture a wild pokemon in the vicinity of the twerps is grounds for blasting off?"
"I try not to think about it. If I do, I get a headache."
"So what kind of fossil are you getting? Dome or Helix?"
"Dome. I want a Kabuto!"
"So, in the nature of variety, I suppose that means I take the Helix?"
"You could get dome too," James said magnanimously.
"How very thoughtful." Jessie rolled her eyes. "Very well, I will."
******
Narrator: Well, Jessie and James have both passed through the treacherous dangers of Mt. Moon and received dome fossils. What's next in store for our adventurous villains? And what about Ash alone in the pit? Why do I always say pointless stuff at the end? Stay tuned for all this and none of it in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Gameboy, Part Eight!
