A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Gameboy

Part Eleven!

*****

"Tell us where the Pikachu is or suffer once more! Ahahahaha!"

"Shall I again, Jessie?"

"Let him have it!"

"No, please, no more! I can't take it! I'll give you Pikachu, I'll pay back Misty for her bike, I'll even stop tricking badges out of innocent gym leaders and join Team Rocket, but DON'T DO IT AGAIN!"

"Where is the Pikachu?"

"On the belt. I don't know which one, I never labeled them. Richie told me and told me, but I never listened..."

"Then you had better hope that the first one I touch contains the scrawny rat, or you will face the horror again! Meowth, bring me the belt!"

Meowth bows low, presenting the belt to Jessie.

"No, this one is Rainbow Brite's! Fetch me the other stupid-looking one!"

Meowth runs out of the room, not wanting to face more of Jessie's wrath.

"Once more, Jessie, please?" James begged. "Come on."

"Not yet. I want to know where the rat is. You can play later."

"Awww..."

Ash is by now blubbering, exhausted from his previous punishment, cringing even now, and fearful at the thought of more.

Meowth returns, this time bearing a small, stupid-looking belt bearing six pokeballs attached to various loops.

"Now, which one holds Pikachu?" Jessie thrust the belt in his face. "Which one?!"

"I- I- I don't know." Ash hangs his head. He knows what is to come...

"James!"

"Ahahahaha!" James' laughter is horrible to Ash's ears. He braces himself, prepared for the inevitable attack... It comes, forcing its way past his weak defenses, until his entire body reverberates to the rapid rhythm.

"So tell me what you want, what you really really want!"
"I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want!"
"So tell what you want what you really, really want!"
"I wanna (huh)
I wanna (huh)
I wanna (huh)
I wanna (huh)"
"What I wanna really really really want is zigazig ha."

"Nooooooooooooooo!!"

*****

Far away...

"Fezzik, do you hear that? That is the sound of Ultimate Suffering. My heart made that sound when they came out with Land Before Time Six. Ash Ketchem makes it now."

"But Inigo, how do you know?"

"Team Rocket is holding him hostage in a broom closet. Who else would have cause for Ultimate Suffering?"

"Oh."

******

"So, Jessie," James asked conversationally as they stepped out of the broom closet for a small break. "Which one had Pikachu?"

"The one on the far right that I had Meowth remove before he brought me the bet," Jessie smirked.

"Ahhh... So where is Pikachu now?"

"Where else? You remember the weekend we spent building all those cages just in case we ever caught the twerp's pokemon?"

"Ahhh..."

********

"Do you rescind your evil ways?"

A sob.

"Do you rescind?!"

Another sob, and a defiant shake of the head. James, having taken over from Jessie, poises the weapon of choice. He moves his finger closer to the button...

"Will you willingly give up Pikachu?"

::sob:: "Never!"

He pushes the button. The Olsen twins appear.

"Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!"

*****

Jessie and James, now tired of their game of let's-see-how-long-we-can-torment-Ash-for-before-he-realizes-he's-only-tied-with-masking-tape-and-could-easily-escape-on-his-own-thus-affording-us-more-amusement-for-years-to-come, are reclining lazily in their beach chairs in the (for once) sunny backyard behind the cabin. They are, of course, playing Pokemon.

"Um, why can't I join Team Rocket?" Jessie complained. "Why are they even presenting the option if they won't let you join? Who invented this stupid prejudiced game?! And DON'T say Nebraska."

"I was going to claim Vermont this time, actually."

"Oh, well. Vermont. That's different."

"I like Absorb, don't you?"

"It's only any good when it's super effective."

"Yeah, but it still rocks."

"I kinda like Ember."

"That's just 'cause that's what you got with your Charmander."

"Yeah? And how often do I hear you brag about Bubble?"

"We're bored, aren't we?"

"It's disappointing, really. Not only has tormenting the twerp already lost its attraction, but hitting the pokemon center every two battles really drags."

"Yeah..."

"We're not really going anywhere just now, are we?"

"Nope."

"Want to take the rest of the day off?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Great."

"Yeah."

"So, should we start now?"

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Alright, on the count of three, we'll both stop saying inanities. One, two, three-"

***********************************************************************

POLL: In your review, please choose one of the following:

A: I continue this thing as one fic forever and ever and ever, until I reach chapter 100 or so.

B: Every 10 or 15 chapters I make a new section.

C: Other (please specify).

Thank you! Comments and suggestions are always welcome! (Heck, I'd take a cute story about how your friend's gameboy got screwed up with a Pikachu named Block, but I've already got one. ^-^ Thanks, Peregrine!)

***********************************************************************