2 Days Later
County General
Chicago
Instead of looking better after some sleep as he anticipated she would, John noticed that Kerry looked even worse. She had apparently given up and quit trying to hide the deep black circles under her eyes and the paleness of her skin. He knew that something had to give. He wasn't willing to allow her to lose herself when there were so many people around her that cared for her.
He also knew that right now she
couldn't see past her own suffering to all the people that cared for her.
Although he had a fear that she
would react like a cornered animal and attack him Carter knew he had to
confront Kerry and do something to help her. He knew for a fact that she
was working a double and so was he, so he made a tenuous plan to talk to her
after everyone else had left.
Several Hours Later
The only people in the ER besides
him were a small group of nurses at the station.
In the light of the small light she
looked like a ghost. The sight of her looking so small and vulnerable
broke his heart once again. But he knew if she even saw a hint of pity in
his eyes she would run.
"No, Carter I'm not hungry" was Kerry's terse reply.
"You, not hungry, boy
something must really be wrong. Kerry I have seen you cook.
The whispered response was nearly enough to break both office protocol and their own personal rules about touching.
"What if I want to disappear?" Kerry squeaked.
Instead of replying, John simply stood there by the gurney and let her know in no uncertain terms that she was going to talk to him and tell him what was going on. Kerry had briefly thought of lying to him but then decided against it.
"I'm sure that you heard that Kim Legaspi and I are no longer together."
"So they say, I take it there's more to this story that people are saying." John asked almost a bit afraid of what was to come.
"Well, what they aren't saying
is that I came home to find Kim in bed with someone she used to date years ago
when I came home.
John's heart broke. This is exactly
what he hadn't wanted to hear.
"Don't oh Kerry me. I
don't want your pity. That's why I didn't tell you or anybody else in the
first place."
"I don't want to give you
pity."
"No, I don't want to ever hear
mention of the name of Kim Legaspi ever again. It's just that I should
have known that something like this was going to happen. I am not meant
for happiness and this is just one more thing that proves it."
"How can you say that? After everything you've been through in your life, happiness is all that you deserve. It's not your fault. And why Kim or anybody else give up someone as brilliant and beautiful as you is beyond me. If you were mine…"
When he stopped he realized what he
had just said. Wondering if he had crossed the line, he looked into
Kerry's face and saw the tears running down her face.
"Kerry…Dr. Weaver, I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry if I upset you."
"Did you mean what you
said? That you think I deserve happiness? You… you think I'm
beautiful?
"Yes, I meant it. Damn, Kerry you've survived so much in your life. Don't let anybody, man or woman, do this to you. People are crazy not to see what's right in front of them. You are so much more than you know. You mean so much to me, you're my world and I… I love you."
He felt her finger on his lips and
looked hopefully into her eyes.
"Just take your time. Get your head together and start over again. I'm here and we will listen to each other and not just see and hear what we want to."
Holding her wrist, Kerry began "John, you're such a special person. I made a mistake a year ago by kicking you out. I don't know if you walked away thinking that I didn't want to be friends anymore, but that wasn't what I meant."
Kerry noticed the sudden look of depression that came over John's face.
"John, what is it?"
Carter spoke carefully, believing that this was the right time to let her know the truth.
"Kerry, I want this to come out
right, so I must be very careful.
"Well, Dr. Carter I think that came out just fine. I want you to hear me right now, so there are no misunderstandings later ok. I feel the same way as you do. I need you and your strength more than you know. But right now isn't the time for us. I have some things that I need to work through and although you can help, I have to do this for myself. I want to see what we have between us, see if it leads where I think it will go. But I warn you; it's not going to be easy. You have way too much power to break my heart and we both need to work on talking to each other. Right now, I need you to understand that there are still things that stand in between us right now, but I promise you that soon it'll be our time."
"I know Kerry, just know that
I'm here for you and that I'll be waiting when you're ready. For right
now, I'm going to be your friend and stand by your side."
***
Thursday, July 4, 2002
A Catholic Church, Chicago
12:45 pm
It was a truly wonderful day.
On this day, a gigantic marble
church was the object of the sunlights affection.
Mark Greene was watching the
happenings in front of him, still not believing what was going on.
Doug Ross was having similar
thoughts.
"By the power vested in me by the
state of Michigan, I now pronounce you man and wife.
John Truman Carter."
"John Carter I can't believe that you got me a gold plated
crutch for this," Kerry Ann Weaver Carter said looking at her new husband
before they kissed again while walking down the aisle, caressing him with her
right hand on the shoulder and her 6 week pregnant stomach with the left.
