Bullets flew by his cockpit missing him by inches. Xander glanced over his shoulder and saw the fire of the wing guns behind him let loose once more. He pushed his control stick down and to the left, sending his P-40 into a spiraling dive. The Zero on his tail followed him downward, guns blazing.

Somebody get him off me! Xander shouted. I can't shake him!

He jerked his control stick up guiding the plane into climbing turn. The Zero swerved and bobbed behind him refusing to be shaken from his tail. Xander pushed on the accelerator sending the engine into a screaming fury.

"Be good," Xander told his plane through gritted teeth. "You take care of me, I take care of you remember?"

He threw a barrel roll causing the Zero to lose him for a second, but it's pilot quickly adjusted and zipped to Xander's behind again.

Is anybody out there! Xander yelled. The dog behind me thinks I'm his fucking tail!

A little busy right now. Wesley responded. Got two in my sights now.

Anyone else?

Need me to hold your hand too? Spike blared in. I would help you guy, but I'm in a pickle myself here.

Oz? Johnny?

Busy. Jonathan replied.

Ditto. Echoed Oz.

"Fuck," Xander muttered jerking the plane to the right and avoiding another spray of fire, a few bullets tearing into his wing. "You want to play?" He taunted. "Fine, we'll play."

He pulled the plane skyward until the nose was pointing north.

"A little trick my brother taught me."

He jerked the stick quickly downward, flinging the plane at an odd angle and making it look like he lost control. He almost crashed into the Zero spinning like he was. He pulled back on the accelerator to regain control, and shoved it forward when he did. The Zero was now right in front of him. Xander squeezed on the trigger sending his own hail of bullets. Smoke irrupted from the Zero's tail and it began to fall helplessly toward the sea. Xander banked again and found Spike being chased by two Zero's. He divebombed from above, bullets flying, engine pumping. He got one of them and Spike's plane shot downward trying to shake the other.

Hellmouth Squadron! Xander yelled into the radio.

Terrors of the skies! Everyone shouted back.

***

Down on the runway everyone taxied their planes into a line and climbed out to greet each other.

"Thanks for the hand back there," Spike said to Xander.
"You too," Xander replied rolling his eyes.

"Hey! I would have..."

Xander put up his hand up to silence his friend. "I know you would have Spike."

The blond-haired nodded at him. They all looked at eachother. Their faces glad they made it through another day, but the eyes were cold and almost empty. It was almost like an out of body experience up there. Flying and fighting like each breath and each second could be your last. They'd been lucky so far. One month of fighting and all them still alive to talk about it.

"Who's up for a beer?" Jonathan suggested.

"I am," Spike, Wesley, and Oz replied.

Jonathan looked to Xander.

"Not tonight," he said. "I've got some stuff I gotta do."

"You're going to write Buffy," Jonathan said.

"That easy to read huh?"

"Yup," they all said.

"I'll see you guys later," Xander said, turning to walk away.

"Send a big kiss for me will you?" Spike yelled after him.

Xander laughed to himself and kept walking to the barracks to get his paper and pen.

***

The sun was just beginning to set as Xander found the rock he sat on everytime he wrote Buffy. He allowed a small grin staring at the orange-red disc fading below the sea. He wished she was here right now sitting on this rock next to him. He thought of it as his magic place cut off from the rest of the world, the war. She'd shown him hers, he wanted to show her his. Tugging at the collar of his shirt he looked down at the pad of paper sitting in his lap. He tapped the pen against his chin trying to summon up the words he wanted to say to her. The ocean sprayed its salty mist a few feet away and he inhaled deeply, enjoying the freshness of the air. He put the pen to paper and began to write.

Dear Buffy,

We both know I am not the best man when it comes to words. But writing you makes me want to be. I think. I just want to be able to say what's on my mind when I'm with you and when I think of you. Am I making sense right now? I don't think I am. I can see your smile already. It's funny how I can never seem to be suave and smooth when I talk to you. Or write as the case seems to be. It's warm here Buffy, even though it's still winter time. I can't imagine ever being warm without you next to me. Half of the guys are walking around in hula shirts and shorts when we're not flying or on duty. Hawaii is a paradise. I have to take you here when the war's over. You'd love it. I'd love it too but I can't seem to enjoy anything without you near. The guys are tired of me moping around what's left of the base thinking about you. They don't understand. I never expect them to either. I think about you all the time. All the time. There isn't a second in the day when I don't wonder how you are, what you're feeling, what you're doing. I bet you've been busy organizing all those supplies and shipping them here. Must be very exciting work. The fighting isn't what I expected it to be. I didn't think it was going to be all fun and games or anything. But, I don't know. I'm not enjoying having to go up there everyday knowing that each day, each breath, each second could be my last. We're supposed to be hero's. I sure don't feel like one. The only thing that gets me through it all is the thought of you. I have your picture in my cockpit. It brings me luck. Wesley, Johnny, Oz, Spike, and I have all been lucky so far. But everyday more and more men don't come back. More families with sons lost. I'm only doing this because I have to. I only wanted to fly, I didn't want this. I must sound like such a coward don't I? Whoever said "War is hell" knew what they were talking about. Oz almost got shot down the other day. Don't tell Willow. He knows she is worried enough about him. Spike, Wes, and Johnny have all had close calls as well. I have been doing all right. No really scary instances to worry about. I only have one salvation from all the fighting, and that is you. I want to see you so badly. To hold you close, to kiss you. I miss your smile most of all. It could cheer me up anytime I needed it. We're being shipped somewhere deeper into the Pacific tomorrow. They haven't told us where yet. I'm guessing Guam, or maybe even the Philippines. They're both occupied territory right now so I have no clue how we're going to get there.

The sunsets here are as beautiful as the sunrises there. I think back to that day we watched the sun rise together. The fact that you just knew what I was trying to say... I still smile about it. Are you treating my Caddy well? I know you are. Hmm, see this is where I have problems with the words. I feel like I have so much more to say to you but I don't know how to get them out. Maybe one day they'll just hit me and you'll have a letter from me that's more than two pages long. I better get back to the barracks now. Another night, another dream of you.

I love you.

-Xander

***

He looked out at the ocean once more, now black with nightfall. Folding up the paper and putting it into his pocket, he walked back toward the base. He stared up to the stars. You could see so many of them here. He didn't know anything about constellations, or planets, or galaxies. Still, he thought it was quite a sight to look up at. Whistling to himself, he pulled a Zagnut bar out of his pocket. He smiled at the enjoyment the chocolatey goodness brought to his tongue. Hawaii was beautiful, but the only thing he could find to hold against it was that he couldn't find a pack of Twinkies anywhere. 'Oh, well,' he thought. The candy bar would do.

As he walked closer to the base he saw commotion all over the runway. Pilots running toward their planes, mechanics still standing atop wings and in front of propellers making thier final adjustments. He saw his friends looking around frantically. They were probably looking for him.

"Great," he muttered to himself. "I always seem to wander off when something bad happens."

He threw the rest of the candy bar on the ground and ran to his own plane.

"Night raid?" He shouted over to Oz whose plane was parked right next to his.

"Radar detected and enemy fleet about a hundred miles offshore," Oz responded. "You would think they wouldn't come near Hawaii again."

"That's what you get for thinking," Xander replied taking his radio headphones from around his control stick.

Commander , this is Devil Two reporting in. He said.

Tardiness will not be tolerated Harris. The radio blared back.

Sorry Command, wasn't expecting a spur of the moment raid.

Just get in the air Lieutenant.

Yes sir.

Xander flipped the ignition switch, his engine roaring to life. He taxied his plane along the runway behind Wesley. Oz was behind him followed by Spike and Jonathan. He pushed forward on the accelerator pushing the plane to air speed. The take off was smooth as always and he flew into formation with his squadron with ease.

"You are a Curtiss P-40 Warhawk," he murmered quietly.

Okay gents. Wesley said. The fleet of enemy warships is one-hundred miles away, we're about twenty minutes away. A fleet of our own ships is set to intercept but we'll most likely get there first. Let's just hope they don't spot us ahead of time.

We'll get'em. Spike said confidently.

Roger that. Jonathan threw in.

Any words of encouragement Xand-man? Oz asked.

Yeah. Xander said. Don't get killed.

Works for me.

Xander looked at the picture of Buffy stuck between his gauges. It was a picture he'd taken of her when they were at the beach in the last warmth of Indian summer. They'd built a sandcastle, or at least attempted to. It looked more like a sand mountain than it did a castle. He closed his eyes briefly, flashing back to the day.

Look lively everyone. Wesley said. We're coming in on the fleet now.

Xander snapped his attention back to the situation. He must have been day dreaming. Not exactly the best thing to do in a $45,000 airplane. The ships below were hard to see against the black of night and sea. Silhouettes floating serenely among the moonlight.

Let's get them! Spike shouted. Hammers down!

Wesley led the charge, divebombing toward the front most ship in the fleet. His guns blared, the fire of them flashing like lightning. Xander followed Wesley, opening fire as soon as he knew he was close enough. He threw the plane into a bank turn, the sound of anti-aircraft guns booming after him.

Make another run. Wesley said into the radio. Branch out to avoid the guns, hit'em low and hit'em hard.

Roger that. Oz, Spike and Xander replied.

Hellmouth Squadron! Jonathan shouted.

Terrors of the skies! Everyone shouted back.
Xander dove for another run on what seemed to be the biggest of the ships, guns firing away while he swooped and dodged the retalitave fire from the ship. Bullets whizzed by his cockpit. He threw the plane into a barrel roll, the orange fireflies buzzing around.

They've got some pretty heavy guns down there! He shouted ino the radio.

We can skip past them. Spike replied. Hopscotch to and fro.

You played hopscotch? Jonathan asked.

Can it Johnny boy. Spike shot back. Your mother...

Can it the both of you! Wesley commanded, flying over Xander's plane. This is hardly the time.

Xander smirked to himself, dodging another spray of fire.

How much damage are we making? He asked. I can't see a damn thing out here!

I haven't the slightest clue. Wesley answered. Just keep firing and we're bound to... Xander watch out! Bogey on your tail!

What? Where the hell did these guys come from? Xander yelled as a pack of Zero appeared from nowhere.

Must be a carrier near by! Oz suggested.

I don't like this. Jonathan put in.

The Zero's swerved around the P-40's opening fire and flipping through their defense.

Get away from the ships! Wesley ordered. We can't dodge the ship's guns and these goons as well!

Xander spun his plane around, retreating from the silhouettes of the enemy fleet. He swayed back and forth trying to avoid the plane on his tail, but like earlier in the day he couldn't seem to shake him. He dove toward the water, the Zero following swiftly.

"Shit, shit, shit," He cursed to himself.

Anyone out there that can lend a hand?

Busy. Spike replied.

Occupied. Jonathan rang in.

Give me a second. Oz said. I'm right on this one.

I've got you Xander. Wesley said. Just give me a... lookout!

The Zero opened fire, tearing the steel right off of Xander's tail.

I'm hit! He shouted. She's not responding! I'm going down!

Bail the hell out there! Spike shouted.

Xander grabbed the switch for the hatch and pulled. It didn't move.

Canopy's stuck! It won't budge!

You're joking! Spike shouted.

It won't... Oh no.

The plane screamed toward the sea, tail in flames, the pilot inside kicking against the glass. He pounded it as hard as he could. It wouldn't move.

"Open you fucking thing!" He shouted. "Open!"

He took out his pistol and fired, shattering the glass. He punched out the remaining panes and tried to squirm his way out.

I'm bailing you guys!

Godspeed Xander. Wesley said.

He grabbed the picture of Buffy before jumping out. The air rushed up against him as he fell sending his hair flopping behind him and his cheeks flapping. He couldn't see how far he was from the ships. He couldn't see how far he was from the water. He pulled the ripcord quickly, the parachute snapping him upward. His teeth chattered against the windchill. He thought it was the oddest thing when he fell through some clouds. It felt like riding through a marshmallow almost.

The water came up sooner than he thought. He couldn't believe how cold it was. Immediately his joints began to ache, freezing and unwilling to move. It was a cold so deep he could feel it in the marrow of his bones. Small threads of moonlight shone through the water as he sank. He couldn't see his own hands in the water. The mass of his parachute weighed against him, and he cut it off as he drifted down further. He couldn't tell how far down he was, the moonlight above not lighting the water enough. He didn't know if he could make it to the surface.

"Go!" His mind shouted. "Go!"

His arms and legs began thrashing against the deep chill. His body now pumping with energy. He thought of Buffy, letting the image of her face fuel him.

"Go, go, go!"

The thought of getting back to her propelled him. Just needing that chance to be with her again, to hold her in his arms, to kiss her lips.

"GO!!"

He gasped in huge lungfulls of air as he broke the surface. He kept his arms and legs waving about to stay afloat. A small ping of dread began to tick in the back of his head. He wasn't sure how long he could keep it up. He twirled around in the water and by lady luck's smiling grace, spotted a piece of broken wing floating off in the distance. He swam as fast as he could toward it, the sea swelling and bobbing him along. When he reached it, his arms and legs felt so heavy he could barely move. He collapsed on top exhausted. His last thoughts before losing consciousness were of Buffy, laughing and smiling in his arms.

***

"Xander," a voice called causing him to stir from his fetal postion. The broken piece of wing bobbed along with the sea, and Xander's eyes squinted open to a blinding light. He ran his hand along his face and attempt to see throught the blur.

"Wake up Xander," the voice repeated.

He was shivering as soon as he felt the water on the surface of the wing. Slowly, with his eyes still closed, he pushed him self upright. He yawned and cautiously opened one eye, still having to squint through brightness, then slowly opened the other one. What he saw in front of him immediately made him think he was dead.

"Angel?"

"In the plasmatic flesh," the dark haired ghost replied.

Xander struggled to sit upright, his hands rubbing over his eyes hoping they would rub out the disbelief.

"How in the...what...what are you doing here?"

"You asked me for a favor remember? I don't turn down my friends."

"But.. but how?"

"That's not important right now."

"No?"

"No."

A smile broke out on Xander's face. Some of the chill buried deep in his body being washed away with feelings of happiness and relief. His brother was magically right in front of him, talking to him.

"It's good to you see you man."

"Good to see you too Xand."

"What are you doing here?" Xander asked. "I mean...you... You're..."

"Dead?"

"Yeah."

"It's all a state of mind really."

"What?"

"Sorry. Don't mean to get philosophical on you."

The two men looked at each other. The brotherly bond between united once again.

"So why are you here then?"

"I'm here to bring you back."

"Back?"

"Yeah, you're in a place of...let's say imbalance right now. You're standing on the middle of the fence Xander. You could fall either way and I'm here to guide you through."

"What does fall either way mean?"

"You could fall to one side," Angel said using his hands to illustrate. "And choose to live. Or you could fall to the other side and choose to..."

"Die," Xander filled in quietly.

"Exactly."

"I miss you Angel, but I'm not to eager to join you just yet."

Angel smiled at his brother.

"That's exactly what I told them."

"Who?"

"The powers that be. Look, you don't have to think about them now. You have to go back Xander."

"Back?"

"Back to the living Xander. Back to..."

"Buffy."

"Yes, that's what you asked."

"Look Angel, about that."

Angel put up his hands, stopping him from further explanation.

"I know," He said patting his brother on the shoulder. "I can see you two. I can see how happy you are together. I couldn't have asked for a better life for her myself. And believe me I did. I didn't want her to give up living just because I was gone."

Xander smiled, feeling a strange calm begin to envelop him.

"That's exactly what everyone else said."

"You should listen sooner next time."

They looked at each other a moment, sitting in the middle of the ocean on a piece of metal no bigger than a picnic table. Xander reached out his hand, wanting to see if he could actually touch Angel. His brow furrowed when his hand went straight through. It was like waving through air.

"You're not really here are you?"

"Well I am and I'm not."

"Am I awake?"

"Sort of."

"Would you quit talking like that?"

"Do you want to live?"

"Of course I do."

"Then it is done."

Angel stood up, his feet not seeming to touch anything. He turned away from Xander and began to walk away.

"Wait," Xander called after him. "What's it like?"

"You'll find out someday," Angel replied with a slight smile. "But not today. Go back to her Xander. Get married, have a family, live."

Xander watched him walk across the surface of the water, fading away with each step.

"Good bye Angel," he said.

"Good bye Xander."

"Hey Angel!"

The ghostly figure turned toward him once more.

"Thank you."

Angel smiled and gave him a small wave, before fading away completely.


***

Xander stirred against the cold of the water splashing up against him. His eyes did not want to open against the harsh light of day. He sat up slowly, his teeth chattering against the cold. He glanced around and saw nothing but a few more pieces of debris from his plane. The rest of the landscape was nothing but water. He wiped at his eyes, plucking the last remains of sleep from them. He sighed wondering if it was all really a dream.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the picture of Buffy, slowly tracing his fingers across it. He still had his letter to her as well but didn't want to take it out for fear he would get it wet.

"I'll come back to you," he said to the photo.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, staring off at the horizon he saw it. He blinked a few times making sure he wasn't seeing things. Something was out there, moving closer toward him. He paddled the broken wing toward the object floating straight for him. It seemed miles away but was getting closer by the minute. He paddled harder, the ship(yes it was a ship) coming steadily at him. Ten minutes later it was close enough for him to see that it was one of thier ships. The one's that were to intercept the enemy fleet. Xander paddled furiously, getting closer and closer.

"Hey!" He shouted at the top of his lungs and waving his arms. "HEY!"