See Jane Run

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See Jane Run

Ruthless Bunny            

She got to that point in her run where she had to decide how much strength she had in her, could she go further, or should she turn around and go home?  She felt pretty good this morning, all things considered.  Daria was accepted to her first choice college yesterday.  It was happening, they were graduating, growing up, going away.  Except Jane wasn't going away.  She had made no plans at all.  The Boswell's Shi Tsu followed her along the cyclone fence, yapping cheerfully at her, as she pounded down the street.  No plans.  No future.  Just more of this.

Slowly Jane's classmates announced their admission status.  Jodie got into William and Mary.  Mack was going to Arizona State.  Tom knew that he was going to Brown since birth.  Upchuck was off to Cal Poly.  Even those fools Kevin and Brittany were going to college.  Jane had no plans.  Every time someone announced his or her acceptance someplace, Jane looked at the floor.  Yesterday Daria got her letter, the one that was taking her all the way to California. How was Jane going to deal with Lawndale without Daria?   Jane sucked in breath, was it the exertion or something else?

She headed up Maple, passing the same houses she passed every morning.  Why did she run?  For a brief moment she was on the track team, until the joy got sucked out of the sport.  Running was about peace, quiet, alone.  Running was not something one did for awards or recognition.  Thud, thud, thud, her shoes fell against the sidewalk, the music in Jane's Walkman keeping time with her feet.

She tried to keep thoughts out of her head.  Concentrating on her breathing, moving her legs, feeling the breeze on her damp face.  Familiar landmarks blurred.  Was she going to be running past these same houses forever?  She could feel rivulets down her cheeks, perspiration or desperation? 

In a few weeks, after graduation, would she share Trent's status around the house?  Slacker.  Even if she did art, even if she got some crappy part time job, it would be marking time until…  Until what?  Until she met a guy to marry?  So she could be her Mom, have a passel of kids, and escape to the basement to make pots?  She grunted involuntarily.  No! 

Okay, she screwed up in the grade department.  She screwed up in the activities department.  Hell she screwed up in the applying department.  What were her choices now?  Military. Right.  Some service organization?  Maybe.  13th Grade?  Jane might have to go to Lawndale Community College.  She knew that she was special, she knew that she had talent, but those damn details tripped her up.  Now she was contemplating Junior College. 

It was a logical alternative.  Take some classes. Transfer to art school next year. All of her friends would be leaving, she'd be alone again.  Alone with Trent.

When she came through the door, Trent was passed out on the couch, his arm keeping out the rosy fingers of dawn, or mid-morning as the case may be.

Jane trudged upstairs to shower and change.  When she came back down, Trent had locomoted into the kitchen for coffee.  He was sitting at the table, sipping at his mug.

"Hey Janey.  What's wrong?"  He slurped the hot brew, his sleepy eyes losing a bit of their glaze.

"Wrong?"  Jane stared into her mug, watching the milk dissolve into the coffee. A whirlpool of creamy goodness.

"Yeah, you don't seem happy."

 "When do I ever seem happy?"  She sighed.  "I screwed up.  I'm not going away to college like everyone else.  I didn't apply."

"Bummer." He patted her hand sympathetically.

"Yeah.  I guess I'll take classes at LCC, but that is so depressing." 

"Why?  It's nice there, they just got a studio in their music department."

"How would you know?"

"I was thinking about starting there in the fall."

"Why?  What about Mystic Spiral?"

"Nothing's going to change with that, which is all the more reason for me to get a skill or something.  I can still play in the band, but damn, I don't want to be thirty, with no job, still doing Tuesdays and Wednesdays at McGrundy's. Shoot me okay?"

"Deal.  Shoot me if I do the painter's equivalent of that, okay?  So what are you going to study, music?" 

"Sort of.  Music education.  You know what they say, those who can't do…"

"Education?  Damn, I never thought of that."  Jane thought about Ms. Defoe, how much she had helped and inspired her.  "There are worse things." She said, half aloud.  "Thanks Trent.  I feel better now.  How do you apply to LCC?"  She asked him, he seemed to know a lot about it.

"You go down there, breathe and give them a check."

"That's easy enough."  And just like that, she got her wind back.