Xander followed Angel downstairs to his living
quarters. Angel didn't want to take any chances of Wesley and Cordelia overhearing
whatever the young man had to say. He started for the kitchen and then stopped
as memories of that lost day and he and Buffy at the kitchen table assailed him.
Xander glanced around the apartment curiously.
"Nice basement."
"Yeah, well they were all out of abandoned
mansions here too."
Xander turned back to face him. The silence
stretched on for a long moment until finally, Angel indicated a chair. "Would
you like to sit down?"
Xander nodded nervously and sat down. He stared
at the floor, suddenly fascinated by tips of his sneakers.
Angel was flustered as he took a seat across
from Xander. He had no idea of what to say. He wasn't even sure he knew why
Xander was here. He was grateful for his presence, not just for the assistance
upstairs, but for what Xander's trip to Los Angeles might mean.
"Do you need to call anyone? Let them know
you got here safe?"
Xander shook his head. "No one knows I'm here.
I just left."
"Won't they be worried?" Angel prodded gently.
"Like they'd even notice I'm gone."
"Xander, I know I'm pretty much out of the
loop here but I can't believe that things in Sunnydale have changed so much
that no one would notice—"
"Out of the loop doesn't even begin to cover
it." Xander laughed bitterly. "You have no idea how much things have changed
since you did your little Casablanca stroll out of town."
"Casablanca?" Angel echoed faintly, amused.
"I get outvoted by the womenfolk every time."
"Well, what's so different now? Aside from
you living in the basement...by the way, why are you living in the basement?"
Xander shrugged helplessly. "I don't know.
I came back from my road trip disaster and it was 'Welcome home. We moved you
into the basement. Your rent is due on the first of the month.' I guess I should
be glad they didn't make me sleep in the backyard."
Angel tensed imperceptibly. He knew Xander's
home life had never been joyful but this was beyond cruel. To stick their son
in the basement, as though he were unused exercise equipment, infuriated him.
He tried to keep his tone light as he asked the other question that has been
plaguing him.
"Xander, when was Spike in your basement?"
"Oh, he was staying with me for a while."
Xander responded off-handily.
"WHAT?"
Xander was confused by the sudden display
of anger as Angel's fury got the better of him and he vamped out. "Giles needed
me to take him a few times. He had...ah...guests."
Angel forced himself to calm down and the
demonic visage slid away. "Okay, maybe I was wrong. Clearly, a lot did happen
while I was gone. Why was Spike staying with Giles?"
"He's been neutered."
"Excuse me?"
"The Initiative put this chip in his head
and he can't bite people anymore. He can't even hit them."
"The Initiative? What...never mind. I don't
really care about the whys. I just want to know what happened with Spike."
"With Spike...but why..." Xander trailed off,
unsure of what Angel was asking. Then he realized. Angel thought that something
had happened between him and Spike. That was an interesting development. Xander
decided to see how far he could push this. Maybe he could get Angel to let something
slip. "It's really none of your business. How did you even know he'd been in
the basement?"
"I could smell him. It was very faint but
it was there. I didn't even notice until after you were gone."
He hadn't denied it. That's all that Angel
could think. Xander knew exactly what Angel was asking and he didn't deny it.
It made no difference that Angel no longer had a claim on either man. It still
felt like a betrayal.
"Anything else I should know about? Did Willow
run off with Oz to join the circus?"
"Oz left. Not too long after you last saw
him. Beyond that, I don't know too much. I'm not really up on what's going on
in their lives."
Angel pushed his own feelings aside from the
moment. Xander's soft tone was filled with hurt. He needed to find out why.
"Why not? Don't you guys talk anymore?"
Xander's shoulders slumped forward, morosely.
"Not really. It's different now. They're in 'college.' We hardly ever see each
other and even then, it's not like they fill me in on what's going on in their
lives. They just make wisecracks about stupid 'non-college guy.'"
"You are not stupid!"
"Yeah, well...look, I came here to talk to
you about something that wasn't my life in Sunnydale."
"What did you want to talk about?"
"How did you get your soul back so quickly
this time?"
Angel just looked at him for a long moment,
trying to figure out what Xander was looking for in coming here. "It was never
gone. The drug suppressed my control. I couldn't keep the demon in check and
it took over. When I woke up this morning, the drug had worn off and I was back
in charge."
Xander considered his next words carefully.
"You said it was different. Last night, I mean. What did you mean by that?"
"It was different. I was there."
"Um...not to be nitpicky but you were there
last time, too. I'm pretty sure it was you I was in bed with."
"No, it wasn't. It was him." Angel was quietly
emphatic in his statement.
"You never made a distinction before. I thought
you always considered yourself responsible for his actions."
"I do. I am responsible. But there is a small
but important distinction." Angel struggled to find the words he needed. "The
demon is a part of me, the same way the soul is. But the soul is not a part
of the demon. When Angelus was roaming the streets of Sunnydale, the soul was
gone. All those memories were mine and had happened to me but they didn't feel
the same because I was experiencing them through the demon. Last night, the
soul and the demon were both present and for the first time, they both experienced
being with you."
"Oh."
"Yeah. 'Oh.'"
"Was it better?" Xander winced as the words
came tumbling from his lips before he could stop them.
The air seemed charged as the blunt question
hung between them. Angel felt a tiny smile forming on his mouth. He started
to speak but before he could form a word...
"Angel!" Cordelia's voice called down. "Giles
is on the phone."
"I see Cordy's timing hasn't improved any."
Xander dropped his head into his hands.
Angel knelt down in front of the chair, grasped
Xander's head and gently forced his eyes to meet Angel's own. "I will talk to
Giles and then I will come right back here. We're going to finish this tonight."
As Xander watched Angel rise and quickly stride
upstairs, he muttered to himself, "Now was that a threat or a promise?"