Disclaimer: Still not my property. Don't sue me, Uncle George. Please?
Still more to come!! I have a nice collection ready to be written up, but I still welcome suggestions and/or comments!! Review me!! PLEASE!!
Enjoy!!



[Tatooine desert]
[Maul's probe has just returned. The Sith Lord reads the information from the probe and moves to get onto his speeder bike. After gunning the engine a few times, he heads off down a sheer cliff face, letting out a loud...]
Maul: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
[... as he goes]
George: AARGH! This was why I didn't give him more lines!!


[End battle]
[Obi is clinging to the side of the melting pit for dear life. However, he has a plan to get out of this alive. He manipulates Qui's saber with the Force, causing it to leap into the air. He pulls himself out of the pit, grabs the saber in mid-air and lands just behind Maul...
The Sith smirks, and instead of turning around, he sidesteps...]
Obi: What the...? Waaaaagh!
[Obi falls down the pit. Maul laughs his head off]


[Coruscant] ((Credit to my friend Verity for this one))

[Amidala is getting ready for her next shoot, and the handmaidens are dealing with her hair]
Ami: Are you sure that this style will do for the shoot?
Sabe: [looks suspiciously like Obi in drag and is talking in falsetto] Why of course, your majesty. All the ladies in Coruscant are wearing their hair this way.
Rabe: [looks suspiciously like Maul in drag and is also talking in falsetto] Yes, your majesty. You'll look so beautiful!
Ami: Alright then... But it feels awfully back-heavy. I don't want to fall over in front of the Council.
Sabe and Rabe: [exchange smirks] Of course not, your highness.
George: Alright, Amidala. It's your cue.
Ami: [gets ready to stand] Yes, Uncle George.
[Amidala stands up, teeters a little on her heels and takes a step forwards; Rabe and Sabe follow her with smirks on their faces. After about three steps, Amidala begins to fall backwards, but does not seem to notice]
Sabe: TIMBEEER!
[Amidala hits the floor with a thud, and like a turtle on it's back, she is unable to get up again]
Ami: Little help here please?
[Sabe and Rabe burst into laughter, and rip off their gowns...]
Male crew: Ooooh!
[... to reveal Maul and Obi]
Male crew: EW!
Lone voice: I thought they looked good...
Obi: We strike again!! You'll never stop us!!
Maul: Muah hah!!
[They bound off, leaving Amidala to struggle]
Ami: HELP!!! I'm royalty for god's sake! GET ME UP!!


[Naboo]
[Maul, Obi and Qui are fighting in the hangar. Maul kicks Obi to the ground, and moves towards the door. He turns to one of the destroyed battle droids, and uses the Force to pick it's head up... Unfortunately for him, the head does not move, and Maul walks into the door]
Maul: OW! Who's been messing with my props?
Obi: [is trying to look innocent] Not... me... [covers a snigger]
Maul: [turns to the crew] Was it him?
[The crew is silent]
Maul: [menacing] WAS IT HIM?!
[The crew all nod and point to Obi]
Obi: Hey!! Wimps... You're not getting your $20 now!
Qui: Obi-Wan, did you bribe the crew not to squeal on you?
Obi: Yeah... Fat lot of good it did me... [notices Qui's raised eyebrow] I mean, uhh... no, Master... I was being controlled by one of the Sith when I bribed the crew. It wasn't my fault... [puppy dog eyes] Honest...
Qui: Oh those innocent eyes... You must have been controlled. Those Sith...
Sid: Oh yeah. Blame the SITH when your Padawan goes off the rails... [walks off, muttering under breath] Jedi these days...


[Naboo]

[The doors open at the end of the hangar, to reveal Maul. The soldiers pause to look at him. Anakin cranes his neck to see who's at the door. Finally, he jumps out of the fighter and pushes his way to the front of the group of soldiers]
Ani: Who's at the front here...? [spies Maul] HOLY SH...
[He is only cut off in time as Qui rams his hand over the boy's mouth. Maul remains menacing for about a minute longer, but then his face crumples]
Maul: W-what's wrong with me...? Is it my face? W-what's wrong with my face?
Sid: [looks around nervously] This is why I didn't give him a mirror...
[Ami has leant Maul her mirror. The Sith Lord is gazing into the reflective surface, tears forming at his eyes]
Maul: I'm... I'm...
Ani: [escapes Qui's grasp for a moment] UGLY!!
Qui: Anakin! That's not nice!
[Too late. Maul is in tears]
George: I was hoping we would avoid this... But nooo... [rolls eyes] Look, Maul. You're not ugly. You're... individual...
Ani: And UGLY!!
[Maul leaps at the child, who runs off snickering. Sid smirks]
Sid: He has potential...
George: We have no hope of resurrecting this scene...


[Gungan City]

[Obi and Qui are stood in front of Boss Nass. The Jedi are trying to explain how they need to help the Naboo]
Obi: After those droids take control of the surface, they will come here and take control of you.
Boss Nass: No, mesa no tink so. Dos mackineeks no comen here! Dey not know of uss-en.
Obi: [frowns] You and the N... And the Naboo... What's my line?
George: "You and the Naboo form a symbiont circle. What happens to one of you will affect the other. You must understand that"
Obi: [nods eagerly] Alright. I've got it. Thanks.

TAKE TWO...
Boss Nass: No, mesa no tink so. Dos mackineeks no comen here! Dey not know of uss-en.
Obi: You and the Naboo form a symbi... [scrunches up face] What's that word again?
George: Symbiont...
Obi: [nods and slaps his forehead with one hand] Right, yeah. Sorry everyone! I'll get it right!

TAKE THREE...
Obi: You and the Naboo form a sybionanty... That's not it, is it?

TAKE FOUR...
Obi: ... siobant?

TAKE SEVEN...
Obi: ... Cymbal?

TAKE TWELVE...
Obi: You and the Naboo form a symbiont circle. What happens to one of you will affect the other. You must understand that. [waits eagerly for Boss Nass to say his line]
Boss Nass: Zzz... [is fast asleep]
George: [mutters] Calm, blue ocean... Calm, blue ocean... You'd all better get it right next time...
[The cast are transfixed by the purple colour of George's face]
Cast: Yes, boss...

TAKE THIRTEEN...
Obi: You and the Naboo form a symbiont circle. What happens to one of you will affect the other. You must... Are you still asleep?
George: [erupts] AAAAAAAAAARGH!!!


[Tatooine]

[The pod race is underway - The middle group of pods are about to cross the start line at the end of the first lap. Jar-Jar is looking over the edge of the balcony he is stood on]
J-J: Dis is ganna be messy!!
[He does not notice Padme creep up behind him. With a single, sweet, innocent move... She pushes him off...]
SPLAT
Crew: OH MY GOD!! YOU KILLED JAR-JAR!!
Padme: He shouldn't have tried on my shoes...


[Naboo] ((Credit to Chaos Earth for this))

[Qui is running through the jungle, being followed by the huge troop transports. Ahead of him, Jar-Jar is stood, watching the world go by. The silly Gungan suddenly notices the herds of animals, giant machines and stressed out Jedi heading for him]
Jar-Jar: Ah!! Save me!!
Qui: Get out of the way!!
[Qui is about to run into Jar-Jar and push him to safety, but has a change of thought and sidesteps instead, giggling evilly. J-J stays stood as the transport plows into him - literally slicing him in half]
Qui: I see why the Dark side is so tempting...
Crew: OH MY GOD!! YOU KILLED JAR-JAR!!


[Trade Federation ship]
[Obi and Qui notice the destruction of their ship - feeling the ripples through the Force. They leap up - sabers ready]
Qui: [sniffs] Gas!
[Both hold their breath]

TWO MINUTES LATER:
[The Jedi have emerged from the room and are fighting the battle droids. Obi pauses]
Obi: [high, squeaky voice] Do you feel... strange, Mas... HEY! What's with my voice?!
Qui: [also high and squeaky] Seems like you... Wait a second...
[They both turn and glare at George, who is holding a snigger and hiding a helium canister behind his back]
George: [innocent] We couldn't use REAL gas...
Qui: [still squeaky] Directors... [rolls eyes]
Obi: [squeaky] Y'know, sarcasm is lost when your voice is so high-pitched.
[The two Jedi walk off, ignoring the laughs from the crew]

TAKE TWO...
[The Jedi emerge and start to laugh]
Obi: Master... haaah... why are you... haa haa haaaa hee... laughing?
Qui: Haaah... I'm not sure... Haa haa haa haaaaaaaaaaa!!!
[George is holding another snigger - behind him, he is holding an empty nitrous oxide canister]
Obi: [is rolling around on the floor, laughing his head off] I... can't... haa haa haa... stop... haaaa!!
Qui: [leaning against a wall, wheezing for breath] I... haa hee... know...
Obi: Haaa... My ribs are about to... hee haa haw haa... explode...
[The two Jedi continue to laugh - even though it is evident they are in great pain]
George: You boys going to behave?
Obi: Haaa... Heeeeh... You... Haaaa... Bastard...
Qui: Well said... haa hee haa haaaaa hee... apprentice...