Authors: alanna + Charlotte
Rating: PG. Maybe a 12, there's a couple of swear words.
Disclaimer: ER is owned by rich people who aren't us. Any characters we use will be cleaned and patched up before we return them. Bram Stoker (I think) wrote Dracula. Again, not us. Katie owns herself but was chuffed to bits with her name in the story. The teachers and the local priest don't know. Please don't tell.
Feedback: Gagging for it, baby. Review or email sunflower_999@hotmail.com
Summary: Me and Charlotte were very bored in art, so we started one of those stories were you write a few lines, then the next person does, etc. This is the result of extreme boredom and hyperactive imaginations. The next bit will be typed up as soon as possible, I promise. Normal type was written by Charlotte. Italics by alanna.
Yesterday, I went into town to meet my mates. We walked around for a bit and then suddenly a pigeon crapped on Katie's new coat so she went to the market stall where Pigeonman exchanged it for seven tickets to Limo's at Seven that night. She took them and we all went home to get ready. At Limo's, we saw Miss Barfoot and Mrs Parkinson. When we saw them they turned the music even louder. Teachers DJing? Stupid idea if you ask me. Girls around us started to scream as the mystery guest appeared. It was the sexiest man on Earth....Goran Visnjic came to the DJ box and made me and Alanna faint cos he was topless. When we came round he, Erik Palladino and the rest of the cast of ER was surrounding us giving out medical orders.
"GET AWAY from me!!!I want a qualified doctor!!" shrieked Alanna.
"Dr. Malucci? I'm dying. Mouth to mouth?" said Charlotte with a dreamy smile.
"Get away from her! I'll do it," said Dr. Weaver. "She's got the hots for Malucci. She needs a Psyche consult too."
As Dr. Legaspi grinned her disgusting Ally McBeal grin over her, Charlotte cried, "Get away from me! I don't like Ally McBeal so stop hitting on me!"
Suddenly Abby's mum came in and started crawling around like a demented cow with foot-and-mouth. Abby dragged her out of Limo's and up the road to the local church where Fr. Philip gave her a funny look.
"She's possessed!" yelled Abby. "Babe possessed her1"
"Look dear, I'm flattered, but I'm a priest. Vows and everything."
"NO stupid, Babe!"
"She's pregnant?"
"Are you stupid? My pet pig Babe! We come to your stupid country to cheer up ER fans and my pet pig dies from foot and mouth!"
"What?"
"Foot and mouth disease you moron! Exorcise her! Babe's spirit is inside her!"
The priest gave Abby a strange look, went to the sacristy and fetched a pack of Danish bacon and started to threaten the pig, "This is what you'll be if you don't come out of that crazy woman's mom!" Abby gave him a weird look and said, "Are you on drugs by any chance?"
Abby left Maggie there to find Luka to see if he could understand what the mad Croatian vicar was on with! When she did they got caught up with a little...personal business. As they reached the church, Kovac's face lit up in anger and he yelled, "You killed my family!" The priest looked shocked. So did Abby!
"I thought the bomb/war in Croatia killed them?" enquired Abby. Luka didn't answer and lunged at the priest. "Answer my question!" yelled Abby. Luka gave an evil grin. Fangs appeared as he turned into...a vampire! Abby gave a scream. "Luka!"
"The name's Dracula, darling. No bomb. This guy killed my family and turned me into a vampire then blew up the place to cover it up!!! I am Dracula and he is...dust?!?" queried Luka as Fr. Philip was staked by Maggie. Abby ran to Luka and started to cry.
Maggie said, "You can rid the demons if you kiss him!"
