Title: Fantasies
Author: Jenn
email: got2fly2u@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-15
cat: Max/Tess
Summary: Tess is lost in a dream world...a victim to fantasies

Does he know what it's like to live in a world that's not real? Does he understand the feelings of hopelessness and love that run through my veins, calling to him? Does he understand what torture it is to see his face everyday, looking in the opposite direction?

I live in a daze, trying to pull back memories from the days of the past. But now the memories have blurred with fantasy, mixed with my imagination, and I don't know what is real anymore. Fantasy dances with the past and creates my own bubble, my own world to live within.

Walking around like this I forget, forget where I am, who I'm with. I forget what I have spent so long remembering, I twist each piece of information, make it my own, turn it earthly, when I know I should be looking to the skies.

And now he shares my memories. He sees what I do. But how do I know if he feels what I feel? How do I know if each time he sees how happy we were, how happy we could be, his insides dance with joy? I don't. And that tears me up. I want to scream, I want to let him know each feeling I hold inside. I want him to feel the same way.

But because I do not know, I recede into a world of fantasies. I create our own world deep inside my brain. It revolves around it's own sun, and my thoughts illuminate it at night, just as the moon lights the earth. And in that world we are happy, he loves me.

But he doesn't know what it is to wake up, his skin sticky and sweet with sweat. He doesn't know what it is to have every pore in your body ache for his touch, every hair stand on end when he walks by, reaching towards him, pulling at my insides. Max doesn't know the emptiness I feel when I wake from a dream, and discover it was just my imagination.

But in our world he does understand. His lips call my name, his body sings it. When he is without me he hurts, when he is with me the joy is overwhelming. Together we lay, on our bed of gold, the air sweet with our love. And he whispers to me, tells me that he can't live without me. Softly I stop him, brushing my fingers across his mouth. My lips follow, and once again passion rips through me, his passion.

And as our hands explore each other skin melts away like wax. No longer are we two people lusting for each other's bodies, longing for kisses and closeness. We are one person, joined together by heated flesh. We move as one, breath as one, blood flows through us, not knowing the boundary of veins.

And we are beautiful, a masterpiece. Our bodies fit together like a puzzle. And every morning as I slide down next to him and curl into his side, I smile at him and he at me. And then I awake, my body throbbing, his name on my lips, but my mouth too dry to say it.

But what good are fantasies, when all they do is give me escape for a little while, only a little while. And slowly I'm slipping. I feel myself losing grip on reality. Each morning it is harder to awake, each morning the dream lingers a bit longer.

And now I'm trapped, a victim of my own mind. And he's here, floating in the cloud around my body. He's touching me, trying to pull me away from my new home. I have moved planets before, I have been given new life already. If only it could happen once more. If only fantasy….could really melt reality. But it already has. And I've already retreated too far. The gold bed is mine, and that's where I sleep, for eternity.