The images of the Voyager crew in M.A.S.H. persona have been with me since I read the suggestion...I've been 'casting' all morning! Now remember, Paramount owns them.... I just rhyme them.
M.A.S.H.ed
by Cybermum
When issued a challenge this time
To work M.A.S.H. and Trek into a rhyme
I was rather perplexed
As to what to do next
To come up with the right paradigm.
The game of course was to recast
The characters from that show past
Into parts that are new
i.e: Voyager's crew
And I've come up with something at last.
The primary characters were
(And with this I hope you will concur)
Hawkeye Pierce and his pals
All those guys and their gals:
Any order that you might prefer.
We'll begin with the logical starter
Who could play the role of Sherman Potter?
Why Janeway of course
(Does she ride a horse?)
As Captain you know that she oughter…
And then there's our handsome commander
Who's been known the odd time to philander.
Now we'll be esoteric
And make him the cleric
So he'll have to remain a bystander.
Hunnicutt and Hawkeye's redispersal
Would need very little rehearsal
B'Elanna and Tom
Should play with aplomb
With a slight bit of gender reversal.
And then we have Hot Lips and Frank
Who should equal each other in rank
Why not Seven and Doc
Wow! I think that's a lock
One's a looker; the other's a crank.
Now we look to cast Radar O'Reilly
Who is known to be clever and wily.
Naomi's the gnome
With Wes Crusher's syndrome
While acting demure and quite shyly.
Max Klinger did like to cross-dress
Regulations he'd often transgress
Neelix fits this description
He is my prescription
As his clothes often cause much distress.
A most logical choice for Tuvok
Would be that particular Doc
Major Charles Winchester;
He's easy to pester
And a natural laughingstock.
We mustn't forget Ensign Kim.
Who can we come up with for him?
Trapper John would be best
He's one of two left...
Although Harry's a little bit prim.
Our final casting retake
Would be Kes playing as Henry Blake.
It's easy to see
The Powers That Be
Canned them both – a dramatic mistake.
