The *I can't think of a title* fic
Part 3 - Sakuragi's choice
By Star

"Kaede?"
The dark haired boy glanced up at Sakuragi through the flickering flames of the candles
that were set on the table.
Sakuragi poked his food round his plate nervously. Even though Rukawa's cooking
was wonderful, he hadn't got the stomach to eat anything right now. Nor, apparently,
had Rukawa. The fox-eyed boy hadn't even touched the food that he'd spent ages
preparing, he'd only allowed himself to nibble on a small piece of bread. His stomach
felt as though it'd been twisted into so many knots it would have put his hair to shame.
"Do you want me?"
Sakuragi had asked exactly the same question to Sendoh last night, and the answer
was still fresh in his mind, echoing round it like a shout in a cave;
Yes. I want you more than anything in this life, or any other life. I'd give anything to
have you."
Would Rukawa's answer match this?

Rukawa's mind was also whirling.
So, this is the question that'll decide it all. That'll decide whether my life will be ripped
to shreds or no. How to answer?'
He nearly laughed out loud at the stupidity of his thoughts.
Simple. All along it's been the same, Sakuragi must like me for /me/ and no other
reason. I'll tell him only what's true, and if he doesn't like it... well... we were wrong for
each other from the start.'

None of these thought's portrayed themselves on his face. They never did, and now
was not time to break with tradition.
Rukawa replied simply, never taking his eyes away from Sakuragi's face;

"You are the thing I want second most in the world."

Sakuragi felt as though he'd jumped off the top of a 20 storey building, and his heart
was plummeting even faster than the rest of him.
At least it was decided then. His love would be Sendoh and, hopefully, in time he'd
forget the magic that he and Rukawa had once shared.
But curiosity was sparked in him.
He was second... but to what? Pah! As if he couldn't guess...
"So what comes first? /Basketball/!?!?"
His voice sounded bitter, portraying all the disappointment that he refused to believe
he was feeling.
Rukawa's eyes had changed. They were now looking at him half in pity, and half
*huh?* /painfully/?
"Is... is that what you think of me?"
He was looking down at the table now and... wait a second... were they, /tears/ silently
rolling down his cheek?
"You think of me as somebody... somebody who'd put a stupid sport above the person
they... the person they love?"
Sakuragi frowned, confused.
"What am I supposed to think Kaede? You just... zoom' off to America and leave me
here..."
His voice sounded louder and harsher than he meant it to, but he hardly noticed as he
got angrier.
Rukawa's shoulders shook as he stared intently at his untouched food.
"I... I swore I'd wait for you... I swore I'd always love you. I never broke that promise,
and I never will. I have dreams to follow, Hana, everyone does, but, I would never have
gone if... if... if I'd doubted for a moment that you wouldn't keep the same promises I'd
made. But... but... you didn't wait for me, you just... /forgot/ about me. It hurt. It hurt
so much..."
"Stop!"
Sakuragi had to blink wildly to stop the tears cascading down his cheeks. He'd never
thought how much this whole thing must have hurt Rukawa and Sendoh. He'd been too
wrapped up in his own little world of tough decisions to pay any attention to them.
"I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"For... for... for everything."
Sakuragi knew his voice sounded pitiful and stupid, but it didn't matter now, Rukawa
didn't want him.
Rukawa stood up slowly at Sakuragi's words, causing the chair legs to scrape painfully
on the smooth wooden floor.
"If that's what you think of me... then you never knew me."
Sakuragi sighed, knowing that Rukawa wanted him to go. He knew he should be
feeling sorry, upset and concerned or /something/ like that. He felt slightly guilty that
he was feeling none of these things... all his emotions had been squashed to one side
and over taken by another... curiosity.
"Wait... Kaede... tell me, what is it you want most in the world?"
Blue icy eyes met warm brown ones, and there was a few seconds silence.
Rukawa had to look away before he spoke.
"That you should be happy."
A thousand thoughts rushed into Sakuragi's head, and a thousand rush back out again.
The main one being, what does he mean?'
It took a few seconds for Sakuragi to realise that he didn't understand.
"Eh?" He said cleverly.
Rukawa tore his eyes away from the seated red head, and walked to the side of the
room to lean against one of the display cabinets, his back to Sakuragi.
"I want you to be happy, and well..."
He turned his head to the side and looked down sadly, unknowingly giving Sakuragi a
breath taking view of his beautiful profile.
"...if that means giving you up to..." He shuddered, "...Sendoh, then... fine."

Sakuragi suddenly felt /stupid/. This... this boy was so deeply in love that he'd sacrifice
his own happiness for /him/?!
He blinked, refusing to believe that such strong emotions could come from Rukawa.
Wasn't this the boy who he'd jokingly nicknamed Kitsune'? Because of his sly and cold
attitude?
Realisation began to dawn on Sakuragi, and it felt like he'd just taken a cold shower.

"Will you leave me then?"
It wasn't so much of a question, it was a statement.
Sakuragi knew he was gaping like a goldfish; did Rukawa seriously think that he'd just
walk away... /still/?!'
Getting up slowly he approached Rukawa, and gently slid his arms around the slim
boy's waist. Holding him tightly, Sakuragi whispered in his ear, his warm breath
tickling Rukawa;
"I'll go nowhere without you... never again. I messed it all up, Kaede, I messed it up
so badly. You want to know why?"
Silence greeted him, however he continued, undaunted by Rukawa's lack of response.
"I thought everyone was like me. You, Sendoh, I thought you were like me, but you're
not. Me, I show what I feel, I can't hide it inside myself like you. You, I'm so sorry
Kaede, I thought like the do-aho I am, I thought that just because you didn't show any
feelings, that you didn't have them. Forgive me."
The silence, *if it was possible* grew more silent.
"As for Sendoh..."
Rukawa tensed under Sakuragi's hands.
"...he's the other way round... he shows emotions that aren't real, the things he
appears to feel are not actually felt by him. Do you understand?"
Rukawa shifted, and managed to turn around in Sakuragi's arms to face his love.
"Thank you."
Sakuragi grinned happily. And so everything was solved, he felt like a huge burden
had been taken off his shoulders. He leaned forward to kiss his fox, but Rukawa pulled
away.
"Kaede?"
Rukawa fumbled in his pocket and brought out a hankie which he began to cough into
loudly.
"Kaede!?"
Sakuragi had to let the boy go as he continued to cough.
Removing the hankie from his pale face, Rukawa tried to stuff it into his pocket without
Sakuragi seeing, but Sakuragi didn't miss the spots of red blood that stained the
previously white hankie.
"Kaede..."
Rukawa looked up at Sakuragi, his kitsune-eyes glassing over in pain.
"Thank you, Hana..."
Then, with a slight sway, he fell gently to the floor.

~tbc



Authors note
Arrrrhhhh! I can't decide!!! Someone help me here!!!
Okay... I want you to tell me straight out... should Rukawa die or no?
I don't know what to write! *Breaks down into tears* I can't take it any more!!!!
*stops crying for a few seconds in order to write her name*;
Star, Lovin' the Kitsune, xxxxx