The Final Legend of Ogre Zelda: Who Wants to be a Millionaire

The Final Legend of Ogre Zelda: GW (Who Wants to be a Millionaire?)

A mix between The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, the Final Fantasies, Ogre Battle: Person of Lordly Caliber, and Gundam Wing.  I suggest becoming familiar with all of these to understand what I am talking about.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this stuff, so like uh…whatever.

Keaton: Hello and welcome to "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" Let see who our contestants are: Link from Kokiri Forest, Princess Zelda from Hyrule, Wufei Chang from Colony L5, Heero Yuy from Colony L1, Duo Maxwell from Colony L2, Destin Faroda from Zenobia, Edge from Eblana, Vincent Valentine from Nibelheim, Squall Leonhart from Balamb, and Irvine Kinneas from Galbadia. Now for the first fastest finger question. Put these songs in the order that you learn them from Sheik: A) Nocturn of Shadow B) Serenade of Water C) Minuet of Forest D) Bolero of Fire.  Time is up; the correct order is C, D, B, A.  Let's see who the faster finger winner is.  And it is Princess Zelda.  Welcome Princess, are you ready to play "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?"

Zelda: Yes.

Keaton: Ok, here is the first question: Who is the true identity of Sheik? A)…

Zelda: Me, final answer.

Keaton: Um…ok.  Next question: What class of warrior is Destin Faroda? A) Paladin B) Warlock C) General or D) Lord.

Zelda: I would like a 50/50.

Keaton: Ok, the two answers left are B and D.

Zelda: Well, he doesn't look like a warlock so I will say D, final answer.

Keaton: Correct.  Next question: Who was the freaky looking maniacal main enemy of Final Fantasy III that poisoned the River of Doma? A) Danika B) Zeromus C) Ganon D) Kefka

Zelda: What's with all the questions from other games?  How dare you treat a princess this way!  I don't even need the money; I'm out of here!  Let's go Link!

Link: But I want to play.

Zelda: Fine, but the wedding is off!

Link: Fine, I like Malon anyway!

Zelda: WHAT?!?!?!?!

Link: You heard me!

Zelda: AAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Zelda storms off stage)

Keaton: Um…ok…we'll go to a commercial.

Commercial:

Hi, I'm Cid Highwind from Final @#$^&% Fantasy VII.  I'm here to promote Final @#$^&% Fantasy VIII.  I don't know why the #!@%! I am doing this (hand holding money pops up in front of face) oh yeah!  So buy Final @#$^&% Fantasy VIII, it's #%$!#@ awesome!

Keaton: Welcome back.  Now for our next fastest finger question.  Put these areas in the order that Magnus Gallant travels to for a mission: A) Azure Plains B) Alba C) Zenobia D) Temple of Berthe.  Time's up the correct sequence is C, B, A, D.  And the winner is…Destin Faroda.  Are you ready to play?

Destin: Always.

Keaton: Ok…First question.  How many knights of Danika are there? A) 1 B) 2 C) 3 D) 4.

Destin: Four of course, final answer.

Keaton: Correct. Next question. Which character is Saradin especially attached to A)…

Destin: Aisha, final answer.

Keaton: Um…yeah.

(Later at the $500,000 question)

Destin: D, final answer.

Keaton: Correct, now for the $1,000,000 question.  Who says 'Mmmm, soft' in Final Fantasy IX? A) Cecil B) Cid C) Seifer D) Zidane.

Destin: I would like to phone a friend.

Keaton: Ok, who?

Destin: My childhood friend, Princess Garnet.

Keaton: Ok, we will get her on the line.

Garnet: Hello?

Keaton: Yes, this is Keaton from "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?"  We have Destin here who is trying for a million dollars and he needs your help.  The next voice you will hear will be his.  You have 30 seconds starting now.

Destin: Who says 'Mmmm, soft' in Final Fantasy IX? A) Cecil B) Cid C) Seifer D) Zidane.

Garnet: That pervert Zidane after he pinched my butt!

Destin: Thanks. D, final answer.

Keaton: He's just won a million dollars!

Destin: Who wants to step to this?

Heero: (stands up) I will.

Seifer: (to Fujin and Raijin) (snaps fingers) Put him on 'the list.'

Keaton: Congratulations, but we have to go to our next fastest finger question.  What's the order of characters Squall Leonhart gets throughout his journey: A) Rinoa B) Zell C) Selphie D) Irvine.  Time's up, the correct order is B, C, A, D.  Let's see who got it right in the fastest time…Squall Leonhart.  Are you ready to play?

Squall: ………..

Keaton: Ok…first question. Who gives Seifer his scar? A) Squall B) Selphie C) Zell D) Quistis.

Squall: ………..

Keaton: Do you have a guess?

Squall: ……….me.

Keaton: Is that your final answer?

Squall: ………..yes.

Keaton: Correct.  Next question.  Who do you get the GF, Siren, from? A) Seifer B) Quistis C) Odin D) Elvoret.

Squall: ………….D …………..final answer.

Keaton: Correct, next question.  What is Selphie's Limit Break called? A) Slot B) Renzokuken C) Shot D) Duel

Squall: ……….A………final

Keaton: Correct.

Zelda: That's not fair!!!  Why does he get all the questions that relate to his game?!?!?!  I won't stand for it!!!

Wufei:  Leave, woman!  Only the weak complain about what's fair!

Zelda:  You shall address me as your Royal Highness!

Wufei: No, woman.

Zelda: RRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! (storms off stage)

Commercial:

Fujin: BUY…FINAL…FANTASY…NINE!!!

Seifer:  Why in the world are there so many Final Fantasies?  If it is a 'Final' Fantasy there shouldn't be one following it, yet Squaresoft keeps pumping them out every 2 months.  How many different characters, maps, storylines, enemies, weapons, items, and ways to use them can there be?  It is really pissing me off!  Even more than chicken wuss does.

Zell: Hey!

Seifer: Shut up or I'll give you a scar like Squall's only in a different place!

Zell: RRRRRRR!!!!!!

(Later at $1,000,000 question)

Keaton: Ok, now for $1,000,000.  Who was not in the orphanage you were as a kid? A) Ellone B) Seifer C) Sorceress Edea D) Rinoa.

Squall: (goes into concentration frown that only he does) (glances over at Rinoa in audience and sees her mimicking him) (shoots Heero like icy glare towards her) (Rinoa begins to laugh and falls out of her chair)

Keaton: Would you like to use a lifeline?

Squall: I won't have it!  I don't need anyone's help!  I haven't for…

Quistis: …13 years. (begins to laugh and falls out of chair)

Squall: D……final answer

Keaton: Correct, you've just won $1,000,000!

Squall: (Whatever)

Seifer: (to Fujin and Raijin) (snaps fingers) Put him on 'the list.'

Keaton:  Now let's go to our next fastest finger question.  Put these characters' names in the order according to what number their name most closely translates into Japanese, A) Duo B) Quatre C) Wufei D) Heero.  Time's up let's see the correct answer and who got it right in the fastest time.  D, A, B, and C.  And the winner is…Duo Maxwell.  Are you ready?

Duo: Yeah!

Keaton: Ok, first question.  Who is 'shinigami?' A) Heero, B) Trowa, C) Wufei, or D) Duo?

Duo: Well, Heero could technically be the god of death but I am the one and only. D, final answer.

Keaton: Correct.  Now for $200. Who is Treize Kushrenada's daughter? A) Lucrezia Noin B) Lady Une C) Mariemaia D) Sally Po.

Duo: Definitely that little brat Mariemaia, final answer.

Keaton: Correct, next question…

(Later at the $32,000 question)

Keaton: Alright if you get this question right you will leave here with no less than $32,000.

Duo: Alright!

Keaton: Here's the question. Who is the 125th Pokemon? A) Dragonite B) Aerodactyl C) Electabuzz D) Jynx.

Duo: Alright, a Pokemon question!  Luckily, I've played it ever since it came out.  The answer is definitely C, final answer.

Keaton: Scary, but correct.

Duo: Yes, $32,000 baby!

Keaton: Next question.   Who knows the attack 'Magic Missle?" A) Faeries B) Jabu Jabu C) Heero D) Sorceress Edea

Duo: Whoa, this is a toughie!  I would like to use a 50/50.

Keaton: Ok… the two answers left are A and D.

Duo: Great just the two I was debating between.  I will ask the audience.

Keaton: Ok…the audience is 50% A and 50% D.

Duo: What a help.  I will phone a friend.

Keaton: Ok, who would you like to call?

Duo: I will call Galstaff "Sorcerer of Light."

Keaton: Ok…(phone rings)

Galstaff: Hello?

Keaton: Hello, this is Keaton from "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" We have Duo on the line who is trying for $64,000, and he needs your help.  The next voice you will hear will be his.  You have 30 seconds starting now.

Duo: Who casts "Magic Missle?" Faeries or Sorceress Edea?

Galstaff: (in background) (Where are the "Cheetos?")  Right next to you.  (Where's the "Mountain Dew?")  In the fridge, duh.  (Can I have a "Mountain Dew?")  Yes, just get it.

Keaton: I'm sorry but time's up.

Duo: AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! I'll just take the @$#%*& money!!!

Keaton: Would you like to take a guess?

Duo: NO!!!

Keaton: Let's go to a commercial.

Commercial:

Hi, I'm Matron.  Are you looking for a kid to adopt?  Are you not able to produce your own kindred? Then come to "The Orphanage of the Cape of Good Hope."  Where the best fighters are raised.

Keaton: Let's go to our next fastest finger question.  Put these guns in the order according to their length starting with the shortest: A) Derringer B) Colt .44 C) 270 Rifle D) .22 Rifle.  Time's up and the correct order is A, B, D, C.  And the winner is Irvine Kinneas.

Irvine: OH YEAH!!!

Keaton: Are you ready to play?

Irvine: Yeah.

Keaton: Ok…first question. Which is the best GF in Final Fantasy VIII? A) Bahamut B) Gyarados C) Ifrit D) Eden.

Irvine: That's not my department.

Keaton: Well, what is your department?

Irvine: Guns and women.

Keaton: Great.  Would you like a lifeline?

Irvine: I want a different question.

Keaton: I'm sorry, but I can't do that.

Irvine: Well then I'm outta here.

Keaton: Don't you want to win some money?

Irvine: Guess not.  Let's go Sephie. (Yes, I typed it correctly.)

Keaton: Well that's all the time we have for today.  Join us tomorrow as we conclude this celebrity edition of "Who wants to be a Millionaire?"

End notes:

The writer 'Sephiroth Strife' is my brother so the first commercial and main idea for the fanfic obviously came from him.  But I changed the names and questions and so on.  And if you haven't read his fanfic I suggest you do.  The title is "FF7 on Who Wants to be a Millionaire?"  Please read and review both his and mine.  Thank you.