Planting The Seed The Story of Malcolm
Author : K. Sepsey
Email : fadedrosepetals@yahoo.com
Websites : faded rose petals | The Doll House : VC Andrews
Intro : This is a VC Andrews fanfic, all characters are copyright to her and her trust.
I make no claims on them. I was just inspired to write and this is what came about.
Many Spoilers for the Dollanganger series!!!



Chapter Three Mother

I spent the night in that cottage, desperately trying to connect the dots. I lay on the bed and stared up at the ceiling trying to remember that night. Trying to figure out the missing piece. I tried to understand that painful look in her eyes. Why had she looked so sad? What was going on in her life? So many questions ran through my mind. I tried to sort through them, looking for the answers.
I sat up and my eyes flitted from one object to another. How long had she been here? When was she here? Why was she ever hear? I lept from the bed and began rifling through drawers and boxes, only to come up with knick-knacks and useless stationary. Empty envelopes and old perfume bottles littered the floor, by the time I was finished going through her bedroom. I stepped over a wooden jewelery box and sat down on the bed. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that this was mother's home. Her presence was seen in the little tokens of someone's affection, her lovely scent hung everywhere.
Long after I had thought she left me forever, she had been here. It angered me beyond words. I couldn't think straight, all I could think is that she really was selfish. She wasn't worthy of anything. Then my eyes lit on a adorable teddy bear. It was a gift from my father to me, on the day I was born. The only time he ever lavished me with anything, before I was old enough to realize he actually loved me. I was drawn to the bear, I picked it up and gazed into it's plastic eyes.
"If only I knew the answers, I might be able to save myself from the same fate..." I whispered to the bear, as if it could really hear me. I gently set the bear down and noticed it had been sitting on a stack of letters. I greedily grabbed them up and sorted through them. None were from my father. As if my mother would actually treasure something from him. They were all from her lover, I quickly realized.
I gazed upon the postmarks, they were dated before my birth... This is the man she loved before my father. Her lover was the same man. I slowly sat on the cold floor and opened the first letter. It was old, yellowing at the edges, it felt so fragile between my fingers. I felt dirty for looking into my mother's secret life... But I desperately needed to know.
The first letter was nothing more than romantic promises and a rememberance of their last time together. The second letter read much the same way. I was anticipating the same for the last of the letters, but this one was completely different, and it revealed something that forced my mother to marry my father.

"Corrine, my one true love,
I long to be near you again, I can't take this anymore.
I need you in my life. But I'm afraid that will never be. Your
father despises me and I will never be good enough in his eyes.
So I have to say goodbye. I will never forget your lovely face
or your warm smile. I will never forget you, as long as I live...
Love, Malcolm"

I gasped at his name... Had my mother given me his name? Had she wanted a reminder of him so terribly as to name her son that? I started to put the letter away when a tiny object fell out of the envelope, the sound echoed throughout the old cottage. I slowly picked it up. It was a ring, with a microscopic diamond perched at the top. This is the ring he must have given her, probably all he could afford. My mother had love for another man, she was tortured. I suddenly felt sorry for her.
I stuffed the letter back in it's place and picked up the last letter in the pile. This one had no postmark, and it was addressed to her father. The from address was her own. I ripped it open and there, in my mother's handwriting was the truth about everything, about me, about her lover, and about my father. A truth that would never reach her father, an unsent letter.

"Father,
I am writing this hoping to gain the strength and courage to actually
send it, so if you are reading this now, I've already vanished from
your life, and will never return.

I don't love Garland, I don't even know him. And I never want to. He
has more money than he could possibly know what to do with, he could
never find the time to deal me affection. And I need that in my life.

I'm in love with another, and I will never stop. No matter how much
you disapprove and rant and rave. I love him. And I have news that
will hurt you and disappoint you, but I don't care. I'm pregnant and
we plan to marry.
Goodbye Daddy."

Pregnant? What had happened to the child? Did I have a sibling somewhere? I had to know. I had to find out. And I had to know exactly why my mother was here for so long. All of a sudden years of angry feelings melted away and I wanted to know her even more. I still loved her deeply after all these years. Would I ever find all the answers?

I left the cottage quickly and hurried back home. I ran directly to my office and looked through old papers, files, phone numbers, and profiles, trying to find an old friend of my mother's. Anyone who could connect her to this man. Soon I was dozing in my chair. And dreams invaded...
I saw my mother, she was smiling a beautiful smile, and her arms were outstretched, awaiting my arrival. I ran to her, and I was a little boy again. She swung me up in the air and her lover moved in beside her. He gazed at her lovingly and leaned in to kiss her gently. She giggled lightly and handed me to him. He took me in his strong arms and lifted me over his shoulders. My mother laughed at us running across a field. She ran after us and then the sky turned dark. My father appeared and grabbed onto my mother and I, and my mother's lover faded away. Gone was the bright smile my mother gave and gone were my joyous giggles. We were again in darkness...
"Malcolm, Malcolm, wake up." I woke to see Lauren's perfect face. She grinned, and then tried to take on a chastizing look. I sat up and wiped the sleep from my eyes.
"Malcolm, have you been in here all night? You really shouldn't be working so much. You work enough as it is. Take it easy. Besides we have things to plan." She opened a book and pointed at dresses and invitations. I was barely acknowledging what she chose and she soon grew tired of trying to get my attention.
"I think you should go up and take a nap. I don't want to discuss this with you when you can't even pay attention." She said this all with a light and cheery voice, playfully mocking my tired state.
"Okay, darling. I'm really very sorry." I yawned and slowly climbed the stairs to rest. However, I couldn't rest. I needed to know. I couldn't go on without knowing the truth. I desperately needed to find my mother. I knew that only she could supply the answers. I went to my father's study and started my search. He had to have gathered some information on my mother. He would be the type to do that.
The room was a mess by the time I finished. I looked up at my father's portrait and glared at him. He had been so cruel to both my mother and I. I almost began screaming at the painting when I noticed an end table that I hadn't gotten to. I opened the drawer and there was a key. I held it before my eyes and wondered what it was to. Then I heard Lauren's voice.
"Malcolm! Malcolm! Hurry!" I shoved the key in my pocket and rushed from the room. I found Lauren at the bottom of the stairs and she had a look of glee on her face. I stopped short, expecting there to be trouble, but I was taken aback by the expression on her face. My reaction made her smile widen.
"Now, Malcolm my dear, I'm afraid to ask, but I think I've caught you with your hand in the cookie jar, so to speak... What have you been up to?" She brought her arms around my neck and her lips to mine. She pressed her body into mine and I held her tightly. I was tempted to carry her up the stairs and make sweet love to her beneath the eye of the beautiful swan, but she caught my intentions before I made a move.
"I have a lot to do sweetheart. No time for play now. Later will be perfect though." She gently whispered in my ear and I gently kissed her neck. I watched her walk off to make the plans for our big day.
Should I just leave the past where it is? What would be the point of opening up old doors? I was about to leave everything alone and enjoy the present when I recalled having seen something in the cottage. I just glanced at it and moved on, but the key reminded me... I suddenly found myself on the way back to the cottage, perhaps for the last time. Now I would learn everything. I would know why my mother married Garland, and why she left him later. Every secret would be revealed...

I sat there, in her room, on her bed, with the wooden jewelery box on my lap. It's golden lock looked trecherous to me. For some reason my mother had this box, and my father had a key that might fit this lock. I had seen keys for jewel boxes and I thought that's what this was for. I took a trembling hand to the lock and then inserted the key. It turned and the lock opened. I slowly opened the box and looked at a pile of photographs, little notes, and a pair of baby booties. I picked them up and gazed at them. Did they belong to my brother or sister?
I continued looking through the box, reading the notes, looking at photos of people long since gone. Then I cam to a picture of my father, mother and another man I didn't recognize. My mother looked radiant, but her eyes lacked the brightness I had seen when she was with her lover. I turned the photo around and read the names: Garland, Corrine and Malcolm. I quickly turned the picture back over and looked more closely at the picture. That was her lover, the man who had snuck into her room so many times while she was married to my father. But I thought he was poor? What was he doing here, and looking so chummy with my father?
With my interest piqued, I looked more closely at the other photos, but none looked out of the ordinary. I set the box aside and when i did, a little piece of the velvet lining shifted and I was able to see that a little strip had been cut. I tore away the fabric and came out with a picture, a letter and a lock of hair. My eyes scanned the picture. It was a newborn baby picture, I quickly turned it over and read the back: This is our son, Malcolm, I named him after you.
And in that moment, I realized why my father hated me so. I wasn't his son. But why did my mother leave me, why didn't my real father want me with them. That answer would come only too soon...

That night Lauren rattled on about all the preparations she had been making all day. Her voice took on a melody as she spoke of everything. She was so animated about it all, and I was so distant. I hoped she didn't notice. I didn't want her to think I wasn't just as excited... Should I tell her what I discovered today? What would she do. Would she love me any less? No, she wouldn't care. She would love me if she found out I was really a homeless beggar who happened to break into a grand estate. I would tell her, I would.
"Why do you look so sad tonight? Have you found something you want more than me? Or should I say someone?" I heard her voice and turned to her slowly.
"What?" I asked, not even hearing what she had said.
"Darling, what is the matter?" She looked concerned, but also, amused, like this was a silly game.
"I've just been thinking about things, the past mostly..." I trailed off, not really wanting her to know exactly what it was, but I knew she would keep asking. And in the end I would break down and tell her, which is exactly what I wanted her to do.
"Tell me what's wrong, please." Her soft voice could convince me of anything. I turned to her and led her away from the patio and we were on our way to that cottage.
"Where are we going?" And I just kept walking, she followed in silence and then I began to tell her what I had found here. She listened without uttering a word. When I finished, she embraced me tightly. I was surprised, but pleased.
"My poor Malcolm, you've been through too much in this life. I promise that I will only bring you every happiness. I hope to never see you sad again." Then she thought a moment and went to the front door of the cottage. She turned about quickly with something to say.
"Does your family own this cottage?" I looked confused. Maybe they did, I didn't really know.
"Maybe your mother stayed here to see you. Maybe she was able to sneak over and watch you play in the yard or walk to the car." Her idea made me happy, but I thought it was a far stretch of the truth. And she sensed that.
"Have you asked your father about this?" She saw the shake of my head and looked down... I wondered what she was thinking and then she asked one last question.
"Did you ever think that maybe your father made your mother leave?"
The thought had never occurred to me. But why would he? Why would he go through all that? Did he want me to hate her so much and love him? He never made any attempt at being nice to me, so why would he start then. Did he find out that my mother was seeing her lover again? And to punish her, he made her leave, without me? So many questions were running through my head and I had no answers, which just frustrated me. Lauren walked over to me and held me tightly.
"I guess the only choice you have is to ask your father." But I knew I had more choices than that. And I told her about the letter I had found with the photo. She asked me to read it to her.

"The hardest thing I will ever do is to leave you.
I stay here at this cottage just so I can get a glimpse
of you. But I know that my lover waits for me, I never told
him about you, and it's ridiculous how I'm leaving this letter
for you, hoping that one day you will find this and stop hating
me, for I know you must hate me deeply. I didn't want to dessert
you. I never wanted that. I wish I was strong enough to be with
the man who was truly your father... But I didn't want to disappoint
my father. The riches laid before my eyes blinded me to the horrible
fate that waited for me. And when I realized this, it was all too
late. You could never possibly be happy with me Malcolm... Garland
desperately wanted a son, and in that sense, he needs you more than
I do. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me..."

"I already know all the answers, I don't need anything thrown in my face to remind me I wasn't wanted by my own mother." I turned away from her and gazed out the window.
"Malcolm, there must be more to the story than that. Let me see the letter." I handed it to her and she looked up at me.
"It looks as though she wrote this in a hurry, maybe she had more to say." She wanted me to hope and believe I was loved, but I knew I wasn't.
"I don't want to hope for something that will never be. I'm not a Foxworth, yet Garland wanted me to be his heir. I know he didn't want it because he cared for me. He just wanted to make my mother miserable. He must have had some hold over her... But I don't want to wonder anymore. Please let's just drop this for now." I looked at her and pleaded with my eyes. She softened and we walked back to Foxworth Hall. Not one more word was ever spoken about that day, but a million thoughts would cross my mind and hers...

I tried my hardest to forget what I knew, our wedding day was quickly approaching and I wanted nothing more than for Lauren to be happy. Complete happiness washed over me whenever she smiled. I had to forget the past to learn to be content with the present. And I would do that for her, I would do anything for her...

[rest of the chapters and the epilogue are separate]


The Doll House
(my VC Andrews site)