Author : K. Sepsey
Email : fadedrosepetals@yahoo.com
Websites : faded rose petals | The Doll House : VC Andrews
Intro : This is a VC Andrews fanfic, all characters are copyright to her and her trust.
I make no claims on them. I was just inspired to write and this is what came about.
Many Spoilers for the Dollanganger series!!!
Chapter Five My Sky Turned Gray
During the month that followed Lauren's death, I did not repent and I did not follow the good path. I was worse, much worse. My father was still away on his honeymoon. He was happy and young again, while I sat in our dark mansion, growing older. I chased women and took them to my bed, only to discard them in the morning. They would glare hatefully into my eyes when I had them escorted out the front door, but I only glared harder. My actions only pleased me more. I could forget about the sadness that God saw fit to enter my life. Only, every time I walked by the Swan bedroom, our bedroom, did my heart ache. I would take out my framed picture of my dear sweet Lauren and remember how happy we were to be. I had that room closed and locked. No one was to enter it, no one!
I began to become consumed by my business. I barely came home. Most of the servants were let go and I hired some new ones. I couldn't bear the look in their eyes when they gazed upon me with such pity. I didn't need their pity! The new servants knew nothing about me or my private life and that was good. I didn't want anyone to know, and none of my family ever knew. The only people who did were those few friends I had invited to the wedding. And they were too afraid to mention it to anyone.
I dove into business deals and contracts. I soon came across a well-respected businessman by the name of Winfield. He spoke of his daughter a great deal, Olivia. He said that his wife had died and left him to raise a girl. He bragged about her skills as a bookkeeper and her head for money and business. I merely thought it was all talk from an adoring father. But I was soon proven wrong. He hinted at my meeting his daughter, she hadn't been on many dates, if at all. So I agreed, more out of curiosity about his truth telling then in meeting his daughter.
I arrived at their home early, wanting to talk about some stock prices with Mr. Winfield. One thing that my father had taught me and had stuck with me was to respect my elders. And I did, very well. We sat and chatted about numerous things, when I noticed that he was looking over to the doorway. I turned to see a very plain woman, the exact opposite of my mother and my beloved bride. I smiled with relief. She was perfect. Not beautiful to distract me or turn me into a weak man, and I had heard from her father how practical and business minded she was. And as an up-and-coming important man in business, I needed a wife and a family. I stood and held out my hand.
"Hello, Miss Winfield." She took my hand; her hand was almost as large as mine was. She was tall too, only a mere inch below me. She saw the amazed look in my eyes and an embarrassment flooded her eyes. I knew that look, she wanted to be loved and that could not be when she looked the way she did. I felt sorry for her, but more sorry for myself. For I felt love and I knew how wonderful it was and I had lost it. And now I was forced to forget about love and realize that I wasn't meant to have it.
We went for a walk and spoke of prices for this and that, and I felt like I was at a meeting in my office with business owners. Only when I looked up and saw this woman, if you could call her that, did I remember where I was. I decided that there would be nothing romantic in my proposal, I would simply treat it as a business deal. She had wealth herself, that I could take charge of as our marriage wore on. And she would be a perfect mistress of the house, keeping everything in order.
After our walk I invited her to dinner. It went well. I learned more about her and I realized that she would be perfect to add to my household team. I smiled to myself about the idea of this woman in my house; taking care of it and letting nothing get by her. It was going to be like having a superior servant! When I walked her to her door, she paused as if she wanted me to kiss her. I nearly laughed. But I contained myself, barely. She looked disappointed when I walked away. I couldn't think of kissing her, she wasn't attractive to me and I finally realized that having sex with this woman might be a difficult task. I began to rethink my plan. I almost didn't show up the next day to accompany them to church. Olivia's father had invited me. He was eager to get his daughter married off, especially to a well-respected rich man. But the next morning I arrived and we went to the church.
I could feel all eyes on the Winfields and me. They were staring in shock at her, like why was this man paying any attention to her? It was amusing; I only nodded and smiled at their gazes. We were seated, and I could tell that Olivia was very nervous about my being there. She was really taken with me, I could only assume that she was falling in love with me. After the service, her father had invited me to Sunday dinner, I gladly accepted, deciding it would be the perfect time to ask her to marry me.
We went for another walk and I was quiet, I am sure that she thought bad news was coming. I had to plan what I was going to say very carefully. She was an intelligent woman and I didn't want to lie to her about the love aspect of the marriage but I didn't want her to think me a cold bastard. So I just opened my mouth to begin, hoping that it came out right.
"Contrary to what most men believe, a man must have a woman with strength. I'm very impressed with you and I would like to ask your father for your hand in marriage." I didn't dare utter another word, and not once did I say that I loved her, because I didn't. I was still in love with my Lauren and I would be until the day I died. I would try to recreate her in all things I did. Never forgiving myself for my sins. Knowing that if I had never known her, she would be alive and well today.
Olivia replied after I pointed out another fact as to why we should get married. Her reply came quickly, and I noticed that she was grabbing at this chance as though another one wouldn't come along. And I wasn't sure about that but I knew her chances were few.
"Good, thank you." I had said, and I knew that that must have taken the wind from her sails. Hopefully she would see that there was no love here, just good business sense. We went in to ask her father and I announced my business proposition to him. But he hit me with a surprising statement.
"My daughter will come into a sizeable fortune, and I want you to know that this fortune is hers and hers alone. It will be in her name only." I was shocked into silence. Could it be that he saw into my eyes and found my plots? Or was it common sense that Olivia didn't possess?
"That is how it should be." I lied, after I had put them both in a fright for not answering quickly enough.
It was my decision to have a small church ceremony in two weeks. I had claimed a need to get back to some pressing business matters. Olivia may not have said anything to anyone, but I could see in her eyes that she was let down. She had wanted a fairy tale wedding and for me to say the words "I love you." But those words were words I would never say to her. I said them to Lauren and I continued to say them to her. I would gaze at her picture and whisper all the things I had wished would be our life. But to Olivia, those words would never be uttered. I had given my heart to Lauren and there it would stay. She was the love of my life and I would cherish her forever. Because of that I would never let myself be kind and warm to Olivia.
I don't remember the wedding. I forced myself to stand there but I drifted away. I didn't see Olivia at all. I only saw Lauren and our wedding. I was able to say the proper I dos but still keep them very cold and unfeeling, while in my mind my eyes and voice were filled with love for my first wife. Only did I come back to this reality when we were on our way to Foxworth Hall. I began telling her about my home and all the history that it held. She seemed fascinated and I knew she would be more so when she set eyes on it. That's when I realized I had never noticed her eye color. I looked at her and saw that she had gray eyes. Gray? She must really be a hard woman. But I would never let her get the better of me or win any argument. I was always the deciding authority and would continue to be.
I showed her the house and her room. I gave her a separate room from me. I didn't want to have us sleep in the same bed. I was afraid of brushing against her skin when I was trying to have a peaceful night's rest. She was surprised and hurt by that. I could see it reflected in her eyes. But I didn't care. Nothing in our marriage would be warm or loving. Even the sex I had with her was just the need to plant my seed in her womb. I never had any emotion for her at all. And over time she realized that.
Then my father sent word that he would be returning with his bride, Alicia. I scowled. I didn't want them to be here. I would have to witness the happiness that had been stolen from me. I should have had that happiness. Why was I cheated? I told Olivia the news and made it clear that she would still be in charge of the household decisions. I wouldn't let Alicia try and take that role. She would only be Garland's wife, practically an inanimate object. I had never met her, but I knew she was very young. I didn't tell Olivia that. I would let her be surprised.
But it turned out that I was the shocked one. Alicia's beauty enchanted me. I was reminded of my first wife. She moved with the same grace and softness. Her laugh was so infectious and I couldn't take my eyes off her. Then my father announced something that infuriated me.
"Alicia wants to move into the swan bedroom. So I am going to ask the servants to prepare it, it must be in need of air." He laughed at this! He had the nerve to make a joke. Of course he didn't know that I had closed it again after Lauren died in that beautiful bed. He was also surprised to see the balcony back in place. He questioned me harshly. We were alone so his precious new wife didn't hear this side of him.
"I thought I had ordered the balcony closed off! After your mother's lover used it to sneak into my home!" He yelled heatedly. I stared at him. So he knew he had sneaked in. He was admitting watching her. He caught the look in my eyes and looked away.
"I want it closed off immediately. We will stay in my old suite until then." He marched away. I stared after him and suddenly realized that this was the first time in months I had been in this room. I looked around, memories flooding me. I sat on the bed and began to sob. Then I thought I had heard something. I looked up and right toward the place where the peephole had been. But I shook my head and returned to my memories. I had had the balcony rebuilt for Lauren. I had forgotten that it was still here. The next day my father hired a carpenter to close it off. I watched from the trophy room and cried.
[rest of the chapters and the epilogue are separate]
The Doll House
(my VC Andrews site)
