Season Five

SEASON 5


If you stopped watching a long time ago, you can now catch up. Paramount owns them. I rhyme them. And critique them.


Season Five
by Cybermum


In a departure from the norm
I thought to try another form
Of looking at Trek in prime time
And submit my reviews in rhyme.

The season started with the plight
Of Captain Janeway in the 'Night'
She wallowed in self-scrutiny
Which led to minor mutiny.

And when the time came to condone
The preservation of the 'Drone'
She dismissed Tuvok, dissenter
Choosing Seven as One's mentor.

While Torres took some 'Extreme Risk'
(Chakotay's treatment slightly brusque)
In a space race to the wire,
She approved the Delta Flyer.

While an alien babe 'In the Flesh'
With her scaley wiles did enmesh
Chakotay. So what else is new?
Janeway tamed 8472.

In 'Once upon a Time' we found
That rather than fables profound
A 'Fleet child, galaxy-trotter
Hears tales of Trevis and Flotter.

'Timeless', the one hundredth show
Gave Harry Kim a chance to grow
And once again to our dismay
Gave us a frozen, dead Janeway.

When Seven in acute distress
Showed signs of 'Infinite Regress'
Tuvok melded with no quibble;
Janeway thought that she'd met 'Sybil'.

B'Elanna was caught in a hug
With an ugly alien slug.
Crell Moset upset some crewmen
In the show called 'Nothing Human'.

Paris disobeyed his orders
Crossed the underwater borders
Janeway sentenced with precision
'Thirty Days' was the decision.

Janeway played clever cat and mouse
With Kashyk, that Devoran louse,
She was proved right in 'Counterpoint'
Her instincts did not disappoint.

The Doctor became dramatic
His behavior quite erratic.
Janeway opted to re-program
Her 'Latent Image' hologram.

And then there was exotica:
Janeway: 'Bride of Chaotica'.
Full of inventive Trek satire
As well as some bizarre attire.

Voyager lost one more shuttle
In an episode quite subtle
'Gravity' of situation:
Tuvok rebuffs adoration.

Now this would be J/C'ers 'Bliss':
If Janeway shared one little kiss
With her Commander, but instead
The wormhole was a place to dread.

In Sweeps time we went to high gear.
Two special hours. 'Dark Frontier'.
The Borg was lost. The Borg was found.
Who wants it the other way round?

When Harry Kim began to glow
(A strange 'Disease' had laid him low)
The Captain read the riot act
And told him not to 'interact'.

'Course Oblivion' was up next
Leaving us all somewhat perplexed
Janeway's intransigent resolve
Caused Voyager's crew to dissolve.

What nonsense did those writers hatch?
Chakotay 'Fight' a boxing match?
Angry Warrior he might be -
A boxer not that I can see.

A 'Think Tank' came up with a plan
To capture our attention span
Not a warp speed salamander
Guest star Jason Alexander.

B'Elanna needed food for thought
She found it in the 'Juggernaught'
A misshapen Malon creature
Added to this creepy feature.

In 'Someone to Watch Over Me'
Seven became the counselee
Of the Doctor who purported
To know just how humans courted.

Janeway traced her family line
Back to '11:59'.
And found that she did not relate
The truth of the Millenium Gate.

If now is then, then when was now,
The Captain swore to disavow
Time travel. 'Relativity'
Had much of this activity.

Harry Kim talking to a bomb:
A 'Warhead', with a calm aplomb.
Well at the time it made some sense
In Trek strange things have sentience.

She opened a Pandora's Box
When Janeway found the 'Equinox'.
Another Captain - evil crew
We'll have to wait to see part two.

So that's the end of Season Five
Of Voyager, and now that I've
Finished my poetic tricks
I'll sit and wait for Season Six.



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