Notes, notes, notes, notes... Oh boy. Here it is. Most likely one of the most scary things I've ever written. I'm too embarrased to post it in the ElfQuest category, so I'm posting it in the crossover section instead. I can't believe I'm posting this.
Yin Yang and The Way
A Very Unlikely Ranma 1/2 / ElfQuest Crossover
By: DangerMouse, The Great Immortal
Skywise hummed a tuneless song as he polished his knife. Maybe I should name it something, like Cutter's Newmoon, he thought, but decided against it. Pointless. A name wouldn't make the blade work any better. The thought left his head as quickly as it had entered, and he soon forgot it entirely. Such was the wonder of The Now of wolf-thought. Of course, wolf-thought did have it's draw-backs...
"I wonder if I should name my blade," thought Skywise out loud, not knowing that he had had this conversation with himself about seventeen times already this morning. Such was the wonder of The Now of wolf-thought.
"Hallo, Skywise! What do ya' think?"
Skywise looked up from his repetitive musings and glanced at his chief. He felt his jaw drop.
"Wha-what kind of outfit is that, Cutter?"
Cutter twirled around, showing off his new clothes, and said, "Do you like it? Moonshade decided to get a little original. I hope it suits me. Moonshade only makes one or two outfits a year. I'll probably be wearing this for the next twenty issues or so."
Skywise couldn't help but gape at Cutter's new clothes. In place of his bell-bottomed tan pants, he had on black, zwoot-leather pants, tied at the ankle and around his waist. Instead of the ratty fur vest he normally wore, he had the strangest red, sleeveless shirt. It went high around his neck and look... odd.
"It's... different, my Chief." Skywise shook his head. "Is it really practical?"
Cutter jumped up and down a few times, making odd hand motions. "Yeah, I think it will work for this new fighting style I'm learning."
"New fighting style?"
"Yeah. You know Genma, that sunvillager that hands around with Leetah's father all the time and plays that board game?"
"Yes..."
"Well he started teaching me a new fighting style. He says swords are out-dated."
"My chief... I really don't think that's such a good idea..."
"Where in the name of the High Ones am I NOW??"
Cutter and Skywise looked up in surprise to see a raging Rayek facing away from them, his hands clenched in fists shouting his fury to the heavens above.
"THIS IS ALL THAT SON OF A SHE-WOLF'S, HALF BREED, WOLF-RIDING, CARNAGE SUCKING CUTTER'S FAULT! IF I EVER LAY EYES ON HIM AGAIN..."
Cutter and Skywise exchanged a look. Nodding, they both started walking away, slowly. If they could get to the safety of the village...
"YOU!"
Cutter grimaced to his friend before tuning around to greet his adversary.
"Hallo, Rayek. How goes the aimless wandering in the desert? Good, yes? That's wonde..."
"DIE!"
Rayek leapt off the rock he was standing on in a simple, physics defying motion. He landed in front of the stunned chief, kneeled on one knee, and pointed his finger into the ground.
"ROCK EXPLODE!"
Suddenly, the ground Cutter was standing on broke underneath him. He let out a little "meep" sound before flying backward against a rock from a swift kick aimed at his mid-section.
Skywise, aware that his best friend, Chief, and occasional bedmate was being beaten and beaten badly, he prepared to leap into action, determined to save him, no matter what. But a restraining hand fell on his shoulder. Skywise turned to face he who would defy his right to protect his Chief.
"Treestump!"
The elder wolf-rider nodded. "No, Skywise. You cannot help him."
"But Rayek is going to kill him! I'll KILL Rayek!"
"What? And kill The Way too?"
Skywise shook his head. Somehow, it didn't seem to apply in this situation. But he really couldn't go anywhere. Treestump had taken him in a headlock, forcing him to watch his Chief's demise.
Cutter leaned on a large boulder, breathing heavily. Damn Genma. If he only had his sword, he could defeat this crazy pig-poker boy. Rayek stood in front of him, smirking at his foe, glowing in his victory. It was more than Cutter could bear. Pulling back his fist, he aimed a good punch right at Rayek, who was completely off guard at this sudden gesture. It looked as though Cutter might have made the winning punch but...
"Oh, High Ones! CUTTER! How DARE you pick on my friend like that!!!"
Cutter barely had a chance to offer an explanation before the sudden justice of Leetah's mallet came crashing against his head, knocking him far off into the sunset.
Skywise watched his friend's parabolic motion until the very end. He then turned and watched Leetah and the other girls croon over the long lost boy, taking him back to the village. Skywise turned to Treestump.
"And how was that a part of The Way?"
Treestump mearly shook his head.
"Skywise, you off all people should realize that The Way doesn't apply to women," he said, and walked back to the village.
Skywise stood still for a moment and closed his eyes.
What a weird day, he thought, and trudged off into the sunset to find his long lost Chief.
THE END
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Author's notes: Oh High Ones, that was horrible. I don't know what I was thinking. I wrote this almost five years ago but it has never seen the light of day until now. Maybe I should have left it buried. ^_^ Oh, well. Click HERE if you're interested in seeing the mutilated.. I mean manipulated illustrations for this fic. Shade and Sweet Water, everyone!
