Undying Friendship - Part 3
Disclaimer: The characters, settings and their likeness do not belong to me, they are unfortunately owned by someone else.
Author's Note: This is the third instalment of this story, which explores the ups and downs of deep friendship. This is based mostly on personal experience and feelings, which I find is always best to write about, so any feedback would be appreciated, whether it's good or bad. Thanks.
"What do you mean, Shimoto? So what if she knows about us? Are you ashamed?" Makoto waved her arms frantically, emphasising her anxiety. She stared at Shimoto, eyes glaring, not understanding what her lover meant.
Shimoto took a deep breath and turned around, a hurt expression adorning her facial features. She looked down at the floor of Makoto's kitchen.
"No, of course I'm not ashamed, Mako-chan. It's just that I'm not ready to tell everyone about us, in fact, I didn't want anyone to know. Mina is your friend and luckily she understands but not everyone is like that. Our lives could be hell if people find out." She took another deep breath, attempting to organise her words into a clear sentence. "Maybe we should cool things down, until we at least know how we feel about each other and our situation."
Makoto stood in disbelief. She knew exactly how she felt about Shimoto and she had been sure she had felt the same way. She opened her mouth as if to say something but instead turned and rested her hands on the kitchen counter, head lowered. The emotions rose up inside of her, this time of anger, confusion and hurt. Her heart ached, a dull feeling in her chest that made her want to cry.
"Well, how do you feel about us then?" she managed to blurt out, trying to contain her feelings. She heard Shimoto sigh and pace the floor before stopping and answering.
"I love you, Mako-chan. That I know. But we are both so young and we have the rest of our lives ahead of us. We need to think about that." She laid a hand on Makoto's shoulder, reassuring her she still cared.
Makoto was unable to control the rush of emotion any longer. She lurched away from Shimoto's hand, taking a few steps back, tears welling up in her eyes.
"How dare you? I want to spend the rest of my life with you! Because I love you! But if you feel that way I want nothing more to do with you! Get out of my home!" she pointed to the door, her cheeks wet from tears of rage and pain.
The look of shock and a sense of horror on Shimoto's face hit Makoto, making her instantly regret what she had said. She hated herself for losing her temper but she felt she couldn't stop now and continued to glare at her friend.
"Go on! Step out that door and out of my life. I hope I never see you again!" Makoto screamed at her.
Shimoto turned and ran to the door, yanking it open and slamming it behind her. Makoto could hear her sobs as she ran for the stairs. With Shimoto gone, so was Makoto's anger. She dropped to her knees, head in hands, crying up all the anguish and pain she was feeling. She couldn't believe this was happening, everything was so perfect for a few days and now her beautiful world was falling apart. She had lost the only person she had ever truly loved.
Shimoto lay curled up in her bed, trying to keep all the hurt out by wrapping the covers around her. She had run home and up to her room, ignoring her parent's questions and concerns about her mood. The silence of night left her alone with her thoughts and she hated it. Her own questions floated around in her mind, no answers coming to her. She felt terrible for upsetting Makoto but she didn't understand why she had reacted that way. She was trying to be reasonable about the whole situation but Makoto wasn't making it easy. She was just too fiery and sensitive.
Shimoto turned over in the bed, fresh tears burning her cheeks. Why was it so hard just to be happy? The silent question hung in the air, even when she tried to close her eyes and go to sleep it still haunted her. She didn't know what to do to make Makoto happy, her parents happy and herself happy. Someone would always be upset and invariably it was Shimoto who got hurt.
Her eyes stung from all the crying she'd done and her head ached. She thought of Makoto and how good it would feel to be enveloped in her arms, just to feel that sense of security and safety again.
Shimoto began to weep again, but soon she was asleep, exhausted from the day's disastrous events.
Makoto was awake early the next morning, unable to sleep properly and only dreaming of Shimoto when she did. Her face haunted her mind, making her think of Shimoto's intimate touch and teasing remarks. She had decided she'd cried enough and it was time to pull herself together and live her life. But she felt she couldn't live without Shimoto, merely exist, a shadow of her former self without her love.
Makoto slammed her front door hard as she walked to the stairs, remembering how Shimoto had done the same. She shook her head, attempting to shake the thoughts from her mind.
She felt like a zombie when walking to the school gates, unable to focus or concentrate, only linger in her depressing thoughts of loss. She was so angry with herself, not just for driving Shimoto away but now she realised how weak she was, how reliant she was on someone else for companionship and love. Something she had been unknowingly looking for most of her life and now she had found it she had thrown it away, along with an undying friendship that should have lasted forever.
Makoto had seen things in Shimoto she had never imagined she would see. Shimoto needed love. That need made her vulnerable and easy to hurt. Makoto hated having that power over her, something she never wanted to have again. Her anger turned to disgust as she realised how badly she had hurt Shimoto and their relationship. She would probably never have Shimoto back or ever be able to make up for it. Her usual zest for life had left her and she felt like lying down and ceasing to exist. No one would miss her; the world would be a better place without her.
As she was consumed by her dark thoughts her attention was drawn to the main entrance of the school. She froze, staring, unable to speak or walk away.
Shimoto stood there. She hadn't noticed Makoto a first but just as she was about to enter that school she glanced up. As if she had been physically hit, she stumbled backwards, her eyes not leaving Makoto's face.
Makoto could feel her body shudder as an onslaught of new tears came, her decision to never cry again all but forgotten. She was uncertain what to do, she thought about running but her legs wouldn't move, she thought about whisking Shimoto up in her arms and telling her how much she loved her but stubbornness and pride held her back. Instead she let her gaze fall to the ground and hoped that Shimoto would merely leave and forget all about her.
Seconds passed that seemed like hours and Makoto ventured to look up again. She almost gasped as she saw Shimoto standing right in front of her. Still, no words came to her. Shimoto looked at her, eyebrows raised, her eyes slightly glazed but holding a cold stare that made Makoto shiver.
Eventually, Makoto's senses returned to her and she spoke, her voice cracking slightly, a lump in her throat.
"Shimoto... I... I'm sorry." She found it so hard to apologise, again this was caused by pride. She looked away from Shimoto and walked past her, not wanting to hear her reply.
"So am I..." she heard the whisper from behind her which made her stop and turn, tears still falling down her cheeks. Shimoto had lost the icy gaze and let her own tears fall. "But I understand that you want nothing to do with me." She continued. Makoto could tell she didn't understand but knew she was saying that to make Makoto feel better as well as herself.
Makoto stood hastily forward, grabbing Shimoto by the shoulders. "No, you're wrong. I love you; I want to be with you, always. I'm sorry I said all those stupid things, I was upset. I know that's no excuse but I can be an irrational, insensitive bitch at times." She stopped herself from saying any more or she would blurt out something stupid again.
Shimoto looked up into Makoto's eyes, looking to see if she really meant what she said.
"And I understand that you don't want to tell anyone. I'll wait until you're ready, if you ever are." Makoto smiled, the feeling strange from having cried for so long.
Shimoto let out a big sob and wrapped her arms around her; oblivious to the looks the two were getting from classmates. Nothing else mattered in the world, only Makoto and herself.
End of Part 3
END OF UNDYING FRIENDSHIP
Author's finishing notes: Well, that's it. Sorry this one was a little dark and depressing but in a relationship you have to take the good with the bad. Even though I said most of this is from personal experience I have adapted ideas to fit the story and tried to make it as unbiased as I can. Please give me feedback and suggestions for my next story.
P.S There's a happy ending to this story, unfortunately there hasn't been in my life, but of course, it hasn't come to and end yet. Thanks for taking the time to read this, hope you enjoyed it.
Disclaimer: The characters, settings and their likeness do not belong to me, they are unfortunately owned by someone else.
Author's Note: This is the third instalment of this story, which explores the ups and downs of deep friendship. This is based mostly on personal experience and feelings, which I find is always best to write about, so any feedback would be appreciated, whether it's good or bad. Thanks.
"What do you mean, Shimoto? So what if she knows about us? Are you ashamed?" Makoto waved her arms frantically, emphasising her anxiety. She stared at Shimoto, eyes glaring, not understanding what her lover meant.
Shimoto took a deep breath and turned around, a hurt expression adorning her facial features. She looked down at the floor of Makoto's kitchen.
"No, of course I'm not ashamed, Mako-chan. It's just that I'm not ready to tell everyone about us, in fact, I didn't want anyone to know. Mina is your friend and luckily she understands but not everyone is like that. Our lives could be hell if people find out." She took another deep breath, attempting to organise her words into a clear sentence. "Maybe we should cool things down, until we at least know how we feel about each other and our situation."
Makoto stood in disbelief. She knew exactly how she felt about Shimoto and she had been sure she had felt the same way. She opened her mouth as if to say something but instead turned and rested her hands on the kitchen counter, head lowered. The emotions rose up inside of her, this time of anger, confusion and hurt. Her heart ached, a dull feeling in her chest that made her want to cry.
"Well, how do you feel about us then?" she managed to blurt out, trying to contain her feelings. She heard Shimoto sigh and pace the floor before stopping and answering.
"I love you, Mako-chan. That I know. But we are both so young and we have the rest of our lives ahead of us. We need to think about that." She laid a hand on Makoto's shoulder, reassuring her she still cared.
Makoto was unable to control the rush of emotion any longer. She lurched away from Shimoto's hand, taking a few steps back, tears welling up in her eyes.
"How dare you? I want to spend the rest of my life with you! Because I love you! But if you feel that way I want nothing more to do with you! Get out of my home!" she pointed to the door, her cheeks wet from tears of rage and pain.
The look of shock and a sense of horror on Shimoto's face hit Makoto, making her instantly regret what she had said. She hated herself for losing her temper but she felt she couldn't stop now and continued to glare at her friend.
"Go on! Step out that door and out of my life. I hope I never see you again!" Makoto screamed at her.
Shimoto turned and ran to the door, yanking it open and slamming it behind her. Makoto could hear her sobs as she ran for the stairs. With Shimoto gone, so was Makoto's anger. She dropped to her knees, head in hands, crying up all the anguish and pain she was feeling. She couldn't believe this was happening, everything was so perfect for a few days and now her beautiful world was falling apart. She had lost the only person she had ever truly loved.
Shimoto lay curled up in her bed, trying to keep all the hurt out by wrapping the covers around her. She had run home and up to her room, ignoring her parent's questions and concerns about her mood. The silence of night left her alone with her thoughts and she hated it. Her own questions floated around in her mind, no answers coming to her. She felt terrible for upsetting Makoto but she didn't understand why she had reacted that way. She was trying to be reasonable about the whole situation but Makoto wasn't making it easy. She was just too fiery and sensitive.
Shimoto turned over in the bed, fresh tears burning her cheeks. Why was it so hard just to be happy? The silent question hung in the air, even when she tried to close her eyes and go to sleep it still haunted her. She didn't know what to do to make Makoto happy, her parents happy and herself happy. Someone would always be upset and invariably it was Shimoto who got hurt.
Her eyes stung from all the crying she'd done and her head ached. She thought of Makoto and how good it would feel to be enveloped in her arms, just to feel that sense of security and safety again.
Shimoto began to weep again, but soon she was asleep, exhausted from the day's disastrous events.
Makoto was awake early the next morning, unable to sleep properly and only dreaming of Shimoto when she did. Her face haunted her mind, making her think of Shimoto's intimate touch and teasing remarks. She had decided she'd cried enough and it was time to pull herself together and live her life. But she felt she couldn't live without Shimoto, merely exist, a shadow of her former self without her love.
Makoto slammed her front door hard as she walked to the stairs, remembering how Shimoto had done the same. She shook her head, attempting to shake the thoughts from her mind.
She felt like a zombie when walking to the school gates, unable to focus or concentrate, only linger in her depressing thoughts of loss. She was so angry with herself, not just for driving Shimoto away but now she realised how weak she was, how reliant she was on someone else for companionship and love. Something she had been unknowingly looking for most of her life and now she had found it she had thrown it away, along with an undying friendship that should have lasted forever.
Makoto had seen things in Shimoto she had never imagined she would see. Shimoto needed love. That need made her vulnerable and easy to hurt. Makoto hated having that power over her, something she never wanted to have again. Her anger turned to disgust as she realised how badly she had hurt Shimoto and their relationship. She would probably never have Shimoto back or ever be able to make up for it. Her usual zest for life had left her and she felt like lying down and ceasing to exist. No one would miss her; the world would be a better place without her.
As she was consumed by her dark thoughts her attention was drawn to the main entrance of the school. She froze, staring, unable to speak or walk away.
Shimoto stood there. She hadn't noticed Makoto a first but just as she was about to enter that school she glanced up. As if she had been physically hit, she stumbled backwards, her eyes not leaving Makoto's face.
Makoto could feel her body shudder as an onslaught of new tears came, her decision to never cry again all but forgotten. She was uncertain what to do, she thought about running but her legs wouldn't move, she thought about whisking Shimoto up in her arms and telling her how much she loved her but stubbornness and pride held her back. Instead she let her gaze fall to the ground and hoped that Shimoto would merely leave and forget all about her.
Seconds passed that seemed like hours and Makoto ventured to look up again. She almost gasped as she saw Shimoto standing right in front of her. Still, no words came to her. Shimoto looked at her, eyebrows raised, her eyes slightly glazed but holding a cold stare that made Makoto shiver.
Eventually, Makoto's senses returned to her and she spoke, her voice cracking slightly, a lump in her throat.
"Shimoto... I... I'm sorry." She found it so hard to apologise, again this was caused by pride. She looked away from Shimoto and walked past her, not wanting to hear her reply.
"So am I..." she heard the whisper from behind her which made her stop and turn, tears still falling down her cheeks. Shimoto had lost the icy gaze and let her own tears fall. "But I understand that you want nothing to do with me." She continued. Makoto could tell she didn't understand but knew she was saying that to make Makoto feel better as well as herself.
Makoto stood hastily forward, grabbing Shimoto by the shoulders. "No, you're wrong. I love you; I want to be with you, always. I'm sorry I said all those stupid things, I was upset. I know that's no excuse but I can be an irrational, insensitive bitch at times." She stopped herself from saying any more or she would blurt out something stupid again.
Shimoto looked up into Makoto's eyes, looking to see if she really meant what she said.
"And I understand that you don't want to tell anyone. I'll wait until you're ready, if you ever are." Makoto smiled, the feeling strange from having cried for so long.
Shimoto let out a big sob and wrapped her arms around her; oblivious to the looks the two were getting from classmates. Nothing else mattered in the world, only Makoto and herself.
End of Part 3
END OF UNDYING FRIENDSHIP
Author's finishing notes: Well, that's it. Sorry this one was a little dark and depressing but in a relationship you have to take the good with the bad. Even though I said most of this is from personal experience I have adapted ideas to fit the story and tried to make it as unbiased as I can. Please give me feedback and suggestions for my next story.
P.S There's a happy ending to this story, unfortunately there hasn't been in my life, but of course, it hasn't come to and end yet. Thanks for taking the time to read this, hope you enjoyed it.
