*Ring; Ring* It was the middle of the night and JD was awoken by the sound of the phone ringing next to him. 'Who the hell would be calling at this hour' he thought as he picked up the receiver to stop the monotone ringing of the blasted phone. "Hello?" He asked, voice cracking and raspy, like he had a voice box from all the cigs he inhaled. He heard crying, he perked right up. "Hey who's this?" he asked, as the person on the other end pulled himself or herself together enough to stutter out his name.
"JD?" He heard through the mists of their sobbing. It was Lynn; something happened, she was hysterically crying, he tried to calm her down.
"Lyric, clam down. Take a deep breath, what's wrong?"
"Shane's in jail. Meet me at the place he took you on the night you met Bonnie." And then she hung up the phone.
He sat there and listened to the dial tone for a while before he could bring himself back. He hung up the phone and got out of bed. So many thoughts were running through his mind, he couldn't believe Shane was in jail, or why Lynn was so upset. He put on some pants, got his coat and went down to the driveway and started up his bike, and then he went on his way. The 45 minutes of nothing but the roar of the Harley was torture for JD, he couldn't think, he couldn't focus on what mattered to him. All he knew was that this bike was loud, Shane was in jail, and Lynn was in crying. He started thinking of ways to calm her down, to make her smile, be her self again. When he reached the thicket of woods, he parked his bike and started walking to the clearing that Shane once showed him. He walked with his head low and his hands in his pockets, and he saw her, sitting on the log that Shane and himself once sat and right away felt pity for her. These people were his friends; he never really had friends like this before, let alone friends that understand him. He felt connected to each one, he like being part of the black circle boys, telling his secrets to another soul who did the same thing in his life.
Before he knew he stood in front of her, her wet red eyes looking threw her blonde hair that hung in front of her face. She looked lost, and she forced a smile when JD looked at her. He sat down right next to her, and she fell gracefully into his arms, and JD was reminded of Shane and Lynn together. This what it must feel like to hold Lynn like Shane does, and JD felt pleased to have a part of Shane in his arms. Lynn cried softly, not above a whisper, like a beaten child from an abusive home. JD wondered if Shane ever hit Lynn, just by the way she was crying. But then a more sensible thought entered JD's mind, Lynn was crying softly because she was ashamed to cry, to let it all come out.
After a second she collected herself and with one last sniff she pulled away from within JD's embrace. She couldn't look at him; she was ashamed of herself to let him see her cry, to let him know she needed him, her eyes looked away from his stare. JD was a little uncomfortable with Lynn so upset, he never really had to comfort a woman before, or anyone for that matter. JD looked at her and rubbed her back; she sighed and closed her eyes as a final tear dropped. Then she turned to him.
"JD? How much do you know about Shane?" She looked at him, stained rivulets of salt water on her cheek, eyes red and bloodshot from all the drugs and tears she shed. She wanted answers, she needed the truth, she was going to bare all the secrets of Shane to JD right now wither he was prepared for it or not. Well, he wasn't.
"Ah, not much. Really." He sighed, it took him forever to say that much, just an eternity and now this and the rest of the moments on were after death in limbo, and nothing could change this dead feeling JD had following him from the he last saw his mother.
"Has he told you about Lonnie, his brother?" She stared with dead eyes, that's what they were without Shane, dead; and he they were, carrying out a dead conversation.
"Not much."
"Just the basics?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I know more about Shane and Ronnie then I do about myself." And with that she told a story, a story better then one JD could ever narrate, it was like she knew it by heart. JD listened; no sound could be heard but the sound of her cool calm voice, JD' s blinking eyes, and the sound of a still lake in the distance. But only because JD focused on these sounds, anything to get away from the story of grim he heard from her about Shane. Their leader, the one that showed them life, the one who was in jail; their Shane.
"Ronnie was Shane's equal, he probably told you that. But he probably didn't tell you what that meant to him. He was his brother; they were bound in blood and flesh, to Shane that was everything. That nothing else mattered to him, because they were bound together. This was all Shane ever wanted, he was everything as long as they were together. Then one day Ronnie started acting funny, it was really slow at first, almost like it never happened. He started going out with different people, do things he would never do. Like good things, he didn't need Shane anymore. More importantly he didn't WANT Shane anymore. Shane couldn't deal. Never could deal with this. Everything he known and trusted to last forever was gone. Ronnie and Shane was no more, he needed him back. A companion to aid him, to help him, because Shane cannot make it by himself. Understand that, Shane has so much love for his brother and this cult he would die for us. Kill us, so we could feel no pain. Anyways, back to Ronnie and Shane era. He started getting these thoughts. Now not good thoughts, worse then throwing eggs at a bloody car, like murder thoughts. Of Ronnie, like he should die so he could be free. Shane somehow got it in his head that Ronnie was going to be free once he was dead. That one-day they will be together forever trapped inside the walls of hell. This thought plagued him. It followed him. He couldn't get rid of it; it was all he could think of, everything. So one night he asked Ronnie to met him by the place out in these woods where they would sneak off to hid at night when they were little. Games of pretend, of hunting, of hiding, all came from these woods. It started them, now these woods that have seen so much would now see the end of them, or at least one of them. When Ronnie got there, there was a bonfire going, and at the north point of it stood Shane, dressed in black, holding something, with his back facing Ronnie. Shane's mind was going frantic of the thoughts of the deed he was about to do; he was convinced they were right. His mind was dead, he body numb, and his eyes reflected it all with the glaze of tears he felt rising up, but would never let go. Just like Ronnie. He faced the fire, and Ronnie saw it, the knife he held in his hands. The silver knife that looked like solid mercury, with the black handle that had Shane inscribed in it. It was his hunting knife; Ronnie killed a snake with it once. Now it would kill him. Ronnie saw his reflection in Shane's wet eyes, and knew what had become of him. He didn't weep, I know that much. I know Ronnie didn't say a word, maybe he said Sorry or Shane, it was something like that, or maybe Shane just image he would. To stop it all. Shane was always mad Ronnie wouldn't have stopped him, or said something. It could have all turned out differently. I know what Shane said to Ronnie before he killed him, he told me he said this, 'Ronnie. My Ronnie, what happened? Where did you go? Why did you let it go this far? You were my brother, my REAL brother. Nothing could take that away, forever. But you lost the faith, you fucked up this brotherhood. You were my everything, my hope, my savoir, my brother, friend, everything good in my life. You were the angel, but what are you now? Oh Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie. Why???' I think that was the last thing he said. He might have told him he loved him, but that is asking too much of Shane in this situation. I don't know exactly how Ronnie died, Shane could never talk about that part, but I now that after it was all done, Shane felt like a huge weight got lifted off his shoulders. But it came back. After Ronnie's death something was missing, something that would or could never come back again. He got away with the murder, they found the body but somehow something happened and it made it look like a random homicide. Shane covered his tracks well. But after everything went down hill for Shane, and he became what he is now. And that's why he started the cult, to have a piece of the brotherhood back, the scared brotherhood. Each of us brings back a tiny piece of Ronnie, that's why he loves us. And that is how the story of Ronnie ends. There is no more to tell."
After all that both of them needed time to let the information sink in. Lynn was staring at the ground, the dirt that swayed with the winds gentle but firm and steady breeze. A sigh was heard; by a squirrel or an owl maybe somewhere in the distance and that was the last ingredient for this moment to be totally deserted from all human contact. They might as well be not even there.
Finally it all sunk in, JD raised his head, the first real movement by either of them in the last few minutes. He decided to change the subject. "How long is Shane in Jail for?" Lynn looked up, then down again as she whispered, "2 to 3 days, nothing major." Then she looked back into JD's eyes.
JD could not think about anything about how violet her eyes were from the navy blue sky above, whose only light was the moon and stars. The only light for miles, really. And before he thought about what he was doing, he leaned over and kissed her. And in all her pain and anguish, Lynn kissed JD back.
"JD?" He heard through the mists of their sobbing. It was Lynn; something happened, she was hysterically crying, he tried to calm her down.
"Lyric, clam down. Take a deep breath, what's wrong?"
"Shane's in jail. Meet me at the place he took you on the night you met Bonnie." And then she hung up the phone.
He sat there and listened to the dial tone for a while before he could bring himself back. He hung up the phone and got out of bed. So many thoughts were running through his mind, he couldn't believe Shane was in jail, or why Lynn was so upset. He put on some pants, got his coat and went down to the driveway and started up his bike, and then he went on his way. The 45 minutes of nothing but the roar of the Harley was torture for JD, he couldn't think, he couldn't focus on what mattered to him. All he knew was that this bike was loud, Shane was in jail, and Lynn was in crying. He started thinking of ways to calm her down, to make her smile, be her self again. When he reached the thicket of woods, he parked his bike and started walking to the clearing that Shane once showed him. He walked with his head low and his hands in his pockets, and he saw her, sitting on the log that Shane and himself once sat and right away felt pity for her. These people were his friends; he never really had friends like this before, let alone friends that understand him. He felt connected to each one, he like being part of the black circle boys, telling his secrets to another soul who did the same thing in his life.
Before he knew he stood in front of her, her wet red eyes looking threw her blonde hair that hung in front of her face. She looked lost, and she forced a smile when JD looked at her. He sat down right next to her, and she fell gracefully into his arms, and JD was reminded of Shane and Lynn together. This what it must feel like to hold Lynn like Shane does, and JD felt pleased to have a part of Shane in his arms. Lynn cried softly, not above a whisper, like a beaten child from an abusive home. JD wondered if Shane ever hit Lynn, just by the way she was crying. But then a more sensible thought entered JD's mind, Lynn was crying softly because she was ashamed to cry, to let it all come out.
After a second she collected herself and with one last sniff she pulled away from within JD's embrace. She couldn't look at him; she was ashamed of herself to let him see her cry, to let him know she needed him, her eyes looked away from his stare. JD was a little uncomfortable with Lynn so upset, he never really had to comfort a woman before, or anyone for that matter. JD looked at her and rubbed her back; she sighed and closed her eyes as a final tear dropped. Then she turned to him.
"JD? How much do you know about Shane?" She looked at him, stained rivulets of salt water on her cheek, eyes red and bloodshot from all the drugs and tears she shed. She wanted answers, she needed the truth, she was going to bare all the secrets of Shane to JD right now wither he was prepared for it or not. Well, he wasn't.
"Ah, not much. Really." He sighed, it took him forever to say that much, just an eternity and now this and the rest of the moments on were after death in limbo, and nothing could change this dead feeling JD had following him from the he last saw his mother.
"Has he told you about Lonnie, his brother?" She stared with dead eyes, that's what they were without Shane, dead; and he they were, carrying out a dead conversation.
"Not much."
"Just the basics?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I know more about Shane and Ronnie then I do about myself." And with that she told a story, a story better then one JD could ever narrate, it was like she knew it by heart. JD listened; no sound could be heard but the sound of her cool calm voice, JD' s blinking eyes, and the sound of a still lake in the distance. But only because JD focused on these sounds, anything to get away from the story of grim he heard from her about Shane. Their leader, the one that showed them life, the one who was in jail; their Shane.
"Ronnie was Shane's equal, he probably told you that. But he probably didn't tell you what that meant to him. He was his brother; they were bound in blood and flesh, to Shane that was everything. That nothing else mattered to him, because they were bound together. This was all Shane ever wanted, he was everything as long as they were together. Then one day Ronnie started acting funny, it was really slow at first, almost like it never happened. He started going out with different people, do things he would never do. Like good things, he didn't need Shane anymore. More importantly he didn't WANT Shane anymore. Shane couldn't deal. Never could deal with this. Everything he known and trusted to last forever was gone. Ronnie and Shane was no more, he needed him back. A companion to aid him, to help him, because Shane cannot make it by himself. Understand that, Shane has so much love for his brother and this cult he would die for us. Kill us, so we could feel no pain. Anyways, back to Ronnie and Shane era. He started getting these thoughts. Now not good thoughts, worse then throwing eggs at a bloody car, like murder thoughts. Of Ronnie, like he should die so he could be free. Shane somehow got it in his head that Ronnie was going to be free once he was dead. That one-day they will be together forever trapped inside the walls of hell. This thought plagued him. It followed him. He couldn't get rid of it; it was all he could think of, everything. So one night he asked Ronnie to met him by the place out in these woods where they would sneak off to hid at night when they were little. Games of pretend, of hunting, of hiding, all came from these woods. It started them, now these woods that have seen so much would now see the end of them, or at least one of them. When Ronnie got there, there was a bonfire going, and at the north point of it stood Shane, dressed in black, holding something, with his back facing Ronnie. Shane's mind was going frantic of the thoughts of the deed he was about to do; he was convinced they were right. His mind was dead, he body numb, and his eyes reflected it all with the glaze of tears he felt rising up, but would never let go. Just like Ronnie. He faced the fire, and Ronnie saw it, the knife he held in his hands. The silver knife that looked like solid mercury, with the black handle that had Shane inscribed in it. It was his hunting knife; Ronnie killed a snake with it once. Now it would kill him. Ronnie saw his reflection in Shane's wet eyes, and knew what had become of him. He didn't weep, I know that much. I know Ronnie didn't say a word, maybe he said Sorry or Shane, it was something like that, or maybe Shane just image he would. To stop it all. Shane was always mad Ronnie wouldn't have stopped him, or said something. It could have all turned out differently. I know what Shane said to Ronnie before he killed him, he told me he said this, 'Ronnie. My Ronnie, what happened? Where did you go? Why did you let it go this far? You were my brother, my REAL brother. Nothing could take that away, forever. But you lost the faith, you fucked up this brotherhood. You were my everything, my hope, my savoir, my brother, friend, everything good in my life. You were the angel, but what are you now? Oh Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie. Why???' I think that was the last thing he said. He might have told him he loved him, but that is asking too much of Shane in this situation. I don't know exactly how Ronnie died, Shane could never talk about that part, but I now that after it was all done, Shane felt like a huge weight got lifted off his shoulders. But it came back. After Ronnie's death something was missing, something that would or could never come back again. He got away with the murder, they found the body but somehow something happened and it made it look like a random homicide. Shane covered his tracks well. But after everything went down hill for Shane, and he became what he is now. And that's why he started the cult, to have a piece of the brotherhood back, the scared brotherhood. Each of us brings back a tiny piece of Ronnie, that's why he loves us. And that is how the story of Ronnie ends. There is no more to tell."
After all that both of them needed time to let the information sink in. Lynn was staring at the ground, the dirt that swayed with the winds gentle but firm and steady breeze. A sigh was heard; by a squirrel or an owl maybe somewhere in the distance and that was the last ingredient for this moment to be totally deserted from all human contact. They might as well be not even there.
Finally it all sunk in, JD raised his head, the first real movement by either of them in the last few minutes. He decided to change the subject. "How long is Shane in Jail for?" Lynn looked up, then down again as she whispered, "2 to 3 days, nothing major." Then she looked back into JD's eyes.
JD could not think about anything about how violet her eyes were from the navy blue sky above, whose only light was the moon and stars. The only light for miles, really. And before he thought about what he was doing, he leaned over and kissed her. And in all her pain and anguish, Lynn kissed JD back.
