Six
Four months ago
Arthur found Guinevere at the upper floor colonnade railing that overlooked the main hall and the party guests below. She was checking her phone, when Arthur found her. 'You're still here,' he said, joining her at the railing. It was nearly eleven, but this being an official occasion sanctioned by the Crown meant the mingling guests below were still holding it together as they drank and chatted.
'Just going to find Lady Morgana and say bye to her before I go,' said Gwen, putting the phone away. 'I thought you were out partying with Owain and the guys. He asked Morgana to join but she told him maybe some other time.'
Arthur bent forward and rested his elbows on the railing, clasping his hands and looking out across the hall. 'Yeah, I was with them. Then I climbed out the window.'
Gwen raised her eyebrows in amusement. 'Right, sneaking off to the club wasn't thrilling enough, you had to up the ante and climb out the window there?'
'Alright, it was a ground floor window. Don't get too excited.' That made her smile.
'I couldn't get in a word over the music. Guess I should have told the guys I didn't wanna be there for the,' he waved a hand, 'mindless partying that was going on.'
She tilted her head to him. 'You didn't want them to think Prince Arthur was no fun?'
Arthur held her eyes for a moment before saying, 'It's not always easy...talking about how you really feel.'
'That's probably what makes it even more worth it.' She tried to look occupied, tucking strands of her curls that escaped her low bun.
Arthur was frozen and frenzied at the same time. His hand wanted to reach out and tuck in her hair for her. He was right, it wasn't always easy talking about what he really wanted to say.
So instead he let his fingers brush a strand of her hair away from her cheek and let himself lean in and kiss her. A second later he felt Gwen's fingers gently touch the side of his face.
Arthur's phone started ringing in his pocket, making him jerk back away from Gwen. He looked at the screen . 'Sorry...it's my father.'
'No, it's alright,' Gwen replied, smiling.
Uther sent a text before Arthur could ring back: Come and see me at the Upper Library.
'You're not allowed to be with Gwen?' Merlin turned to look at Arthur on the driving seat as they headed back to their apartment.
'It's not as simple as that,' Arthur replied.
He recalled the night Uther called him into the library. He had seen Arthur with Gwen at the secluded spot on the veranda. Well, not secluded enough to escape Uther's eyes.
When he had met his father in the library, Arthur folded his arms and stretched out his legs under the heavy table where his father sat. 'You've never objected to anyone else I've dated.' He had a feeling he knew why, but he wanted to clear it up with his father.
Uther gathered his words while clasping his hands on the polished table. 'Guinevere is a polite, lovely girl. A great friend to you and Morgana both. But her father runs an ironworks business.'
Silence choked them save for the grandfather clock's ticking. Arthur did not leave his father's eyes. 'Yes, her father runs a successful business, and she's on her way to becoming a well-educated woman who's probably going to be successful on her own right. I'm not sure I understand what you mean,' he said.
'I think,' Uther said, almost with a dangerous edge, 'you understand very well what I mean. You just don't want to see it.'
Arthur shifted in his seat and glared across the table. To his surprise, Uther's next words were sober, gentle.
'I... know what you must be feeling. That it is just between you and Gwen. And it doesn't matter she's not from our circle and what anyone else thinks about that. But it will take its toll.'
Arthur looked up to meet his father's eyes.
'You can go out with her now, let the magazines run a few stories. But after a while they'll latch on to how different the two of you are; they'll try to catch you out at every turn. And not just them. You can bring her to all the garden parties. But eventually she will stand out. Worse: she'll be left out.'
Arthur swallowed. She was accepted as a mate to Morgana and him. But as a regular in the Royal circles?
'You can let her go through all of that and go your separate ways. Because she's not the one you'll get to marry.'
Arthur met his father's eyes with defiance. Even though his words were defeated. 'Of course not. You'll make sure I don't.'
Uther stood up, his business concluded. 'Remember, Arthur, someone like you is not just asking a girl out; you're asking her to be the future queen.'
'Yeah, that doesn't just apply to Gwen.'
'But between her and, say, lady Elena, who do you think has more to lose? So you need to decide if it's really worth her going through all this.'
Arthur stood up too and stopped in front of his father. 'Well, she shouldn't have to go through any of this. We don't live in medieval times anymore.' He walked out of the library, closing the door behind him.
Yet when he saw Gwen the next day, he took her aside to the quiet pathway that overlooked the rose garden and said, 'What happened last night...' Gwen smiled a little and looked away from him. 'I shouldn't have gone in for the kiss. I'm sorry.'
When she met his eyes, she was taken aback. 'It's alright; it wasn't just on you-'
'It shouldn't have happened.' Arthur forced a smile. 'I'm glad we became friends and you don't think I'm a jerk anymore.'
Gwen ducked her head and smiled.
'But the kiss was a mistake. We shouldn't ruin the friendship that we have -I just wanted to clear up the awkwardness.' He walked her back to the garden where Morgana was. Not mentioning how she had made his day that time some time ago when she had told him, 'You know, I always took you as a bit of a jerk.' She had paused and held his eyes. 'I'm beginning to change my mind.' He had thought of kissing her back then. 'I'm glad to hear.' And now he had wished that whole conversation and all the others with her leading up to last night had not happened.
'Is it already your turn to cook?'
Merlin stared at the mound of buttered peas that Arthur loaded onto a bowl. His chin was resting on his folded arms on the kitchen bench. There was a strong resemblance between him and a deflated puppy at the current moment.
'It is,' replied Arthur. He placed a steak on to his plate. 'Deal With it.' Silently, he scooped a portion of mashed potato next to the meat, followed by the peas.
Merlin dragged himself up from the stool and filled up his own plate. He and Arthur had been rather quiet ever since the ride back from the walking trail. Merlin found it absurd that Arthur was okay to accept he 'wasn't allowed to' go out with Gwen. Like he was a child and had to listen to his dad's every word. Arthur was quick to shut him up. There was also the other ominous thing that was on Merlin's mind: Arthur joining the taskforce to capture the sorcerers.
He gobbled up a mouthful of dinner and tried not to think about it. 'The food's all seasoned okay', he said. 'But it's just a bit...'
'Practical?' said Arthur from the other side of the bench.
'Boring, I was gonna say. Unimaginative? Spartan. Yes, that's the word I'm looking for!'
Arthur sighed with a shake of his head.
It didn't break the tension as Merlin had hoped, but it was something of a relief. He was also well aware that Arthur had been training with the Royal Military Academy since he was in high school, something the prince embraced with pride. So the 'Spartan' insult was hardly going to cut it. Maybe he should stop his attempts to lighten the situation.
'Arthur.' Merlin rested his cutlery on his plate for a moment. 'I don't think the taskforce should go ahead.'
'You would rather let the sorcerers get away? Those who might have created the plague?'
'I think they should be questioned, yes. But sending in people to fight is just going to stir things up.'
'There has already been background investigations. The taskforce is sure of what it's doing. And we must be ready to fight.' Arthur had his eyes on the piece of steak he was cutting instead of Merlin. 'Because the sorcerers will be ready.'
Which meant Merlin needed to be there to protect Arthur. 'You shouldn't go there,' he added quietly. He could feel Arthur's stare before the prince stood up and washed his dish, drowning out any further words Merlin was going to say with the rush of tap water. When he turned the tap off and returned to the bench, Merlin spoke.
'If you know these people could be dangerous, should you really be going along? You could get experience on some other mission.'
'That's not how getting experience works. It's out of the question.'
'Is that your words or the king's?'
'Mine.' Arthur was quick.
'Well, you might be wrong sometimes. Just like you might have been wrong to end it with Gwen.'
Arthur had his palms flat on the bench top on either side of him, eyes staring Merlin down. Like he needed to restrain himself. 'I haven't ended anything with Gwen. Nothing had started between us.' He shifted his eyes away from Merlin. 'I can handle the mission tomorrow -I've got the training. I can't be sitting around in safety, hiding behind a screen.'
Merlin didn't argue.
When Arthur looked at him again, it was without the harshness. 'My job as Camelot's Crown Prince is to be there on the ground. Which the lockdown has stopped. But here's something I can do.'
'There's...talk on the Internet that the taskforce is a set-up. Some groups are claiming it's just to capture innocent people with magic.'
'Then I need to go and find out if that's the case.'
A weighty silence passed between them. Merlin did not look at the prince and gave the benchtop a hard look.
Arthur was the one to break the silence. 'I thought I knew what I was doing when I told my father I'd move out. I thought I'd fulfil my role better. Instead of having everything...done for me.'
Merlin met his eyes, recognising his struggle.
'And now it feels like it's back to square one. I can't get to know our people the way I thought I could. Back to being the Prince of Camelot-' Arthur almost smiled, '-well, even worse since I'm just a rectangle on a screen now.' Quieter, he added, 'And nothing beyond that.' He looked up at Merlin again. 'Maybe it's not easy for you to understand, but I need to do this.'
Merlin looked to him without speaking. He did understand.
He also knew what it was like to lose one's purpose. To think you have your destiny figured out -something that came along and showed you what your gifts were for. Only for that to turn out a false alarm. These lockdown days had done that to him.
The Dragon was still fresh on his mind whenever he thought of him, telling Merlin his destiny was to protect Arthur, help him be the king that Camelot needs.
Merlin didn't know what that meant any more. Since they had been mostly stuck at home these last few weeks, Merlin using his magic for no greater purpose than flicking the light switch on when he couldn't be bothered to get up.
So much for his magic being destined for something bigger.
So much for Arthur trying to prove he was more than a ceremonial prince who had it all.
But then Merlin thought of those virtual occasions Arthur had referenced. The faces he lit up. 'You don't have to be anything more than Prince Arthur,' said Merlin.
'Catch,' said Arthur, stepping into the veranda.
Merlin sat on one of the two beanbags, his Legs stretched out. The veranda was lit by the city lights around the apartment and more immediately by Merlin's phone screen. He had just enough time to take out his earphones before Arthur tossed him the small cylindrical package of biscuits.
Merlin picked up the pack of McVitie's which had landed on his seat while Arthur sat down on the unoccupied beanbag.
'Since dinner wasn't to your liking apparently,' said Arthur, 'you might as well have the caramel McVitie's for dessert.'
'Thanks,' said Merlin. The crunch of the biscuit wrapping filled the air as he opened the packet and took out one of the wheat biscuits with a coating of caramel on one side. Taking a bite, he offered the pack to Arthur who also took a biscuit for himself.
For a second they watched a stream of night traffic pass way below them as they crunched through biscuits.
Arthur smacked his hands together to get rid of crumbs. 'What is with your obsession with the McVitie's anyway?'
Merlin's lips broke into a smile. 'I'm not obsessed.'
Arthur sat with his knees up, resting his forearms on his knees, and looked straight ahead even though he raised an amused eye brow at that.
'I guess...it's something from when I was a kid, ' Merlin continued. 'It was just me and my mum. Sometimes I'd give her a hard time and not eat whatever was for dinner. She had a lot to juggle and would just let me have the biscuits instead.'
Arthur turned to look at Merlin as he told the story.
'It was a good time though. I guess, it's sort of a reminder of that time.'
Arthur gave him a silent nod.
'So.' Merlin turned to him. 'Do you have any sentimental stories behind the pickled eggs?'
'No, Merlin! No sentimental stories there.' Which made Merlin grin anyway.
Arthur twisted the ring he wore on his index finger. 'I...never met my mum.'
Merlin nodded sympathetically. The whole kingdom knew Queen Igraine had suddenly passed away from a medical condition days after she had given birth to Prince Arthur.
'My father doesn't like talking about her. But he told his butler to give me a box of my mother's things. It had photos, so I could see what she was like.' He was glad to find it was a more personal collection to the official photos Arthur had found by Googling her. 'And I found this ring. It's from her family.' He paused before continuing more hesitantly. 'I thought I'd wear it...To have her memory with me, I guess.'
'That's cool.' And here Merlin was sure the ring was some fashion thing. Guess there were other sides to Arthur he didn't know.
'I like to think, maybe she's watching over me,' Arthur added. 'That she'd support me in the times when I disagree with Father.'
For a moment they stayed silent before Merlin spoke again. 'My mum doesn't like to mention my dad either. She said they went separate ways even before I was born. But sometimes I feel some kind of connection to him.' Especially when he used magic, which he didn't say out loud. Merlin had guessed his magical abilities must have come from his father, which may have been behind his parents going their separate ways and his mum being protective of him but also wary of his powers. Merlin understood now how a young Hunith must have felt - not knowing what to do with this magical child of hers.
A moment later, Arthur stood up. 'I have to be up early tomorrow.' He had to join the taskforce. And no matter how much Merlin tried to gauge it, the location where they were headed was top secret. 'You should stop looking at your screen and get to sleep.'
'Yeah, I'll go in a minute,' said Merlin. When Arthur went back inside, he unlocked his phone and continued reading the chat forum he had opened. It was between a group who were planning a protest against the government and the royals investigating the magical origins of the plague. They were ready to cause some trouble tomorrow, outside the Camelot City Library. Because they had some intel that that was where Uther's secret taskforce was going.
