In Exile-
In Exile- sequel to "Voice from
the Tomb" part of What We Lost Collection
by: Isabelle
-Disclaimer: I do not own any of
the characters, they are all Joss.
-Summary: Sequel to "Voice
from the Tomb", Spike does some driving before he turns
around and head back to Sunnydale just to "check" on
Buffy. Buffy confesses to Giles about her relationships with both
vampires.
-Rating: PG-13 (Language)
-Author's Note: Feed me
FEEDBACK!!!! :)
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Remember me
when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Christina Georgina Rossetti
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He pulled off the
side of the road at the sight of the late night bar. A drink,
that's what he needed! He wanted to get seriously drunk tonight,
so drunk that he could forget, forget her eyes. Forget her smile,
forget her laugh, forget her smell, forget her love.
Damn her for
making me this way! He thought bitterly as he got off his
black classic beauty and stode to the building of hope and
enchantment.
He slowly opened the
dirty glass door and his senses went off, this was a demon bar. Great!
But not to worry, he was sure no one had heard of him in Arizona.
Upon entering several
curious eyes turned and looked his way, but a vampire was not to
their interest as long as he did not stir any trouble.
The smoke in the
darkened room hid the faces of the grotesque and the mundane.
Horns, tails, scales, and feathers were among the variety of
colorful people he belonged with.
He was a monster just
like them, this was his place, here in the dark corners of hidden
society. Not in the sun, not with humans. He was cursed, and he
had to accept his curse. He was a creature of the night, he was
the subject of buggy-man stories that terrified the minds of
human children in the night.
He had been blessed
with the physicality of a human but underneath the cloak of
appearances layed the monster in its most purest form. He was a
beast and she was his beauty.
But in this story
there were no wilting roses that bloomed for years, there was no
magic mirror to see her in, only his memories of their short time
together. And there was no magic spell to break, no mater how
much they cried out that they loved each other, their story had
no end.
He sighted as he took
a seat on the bar and ordered a bottle of tequila and a glass.
The demon bartender looked at him in pity and got him his drink.
Spike poured himself
a hefty amount and began to sulk. He's turned into the bleeding
image of his sire! All alone and depressed, not even killing
demons gave him the rush it once had. He had even stopped
thinking about his chip, all his thoughts were on her, his
beauty, his slayer, his girl.
What the hell was he
thinking? She was no longer his, not like she ever was. But now
she belonged to the poof, he was human now and she was probably
planning her wedding and asking herself why she ever sleeped with
a creature like him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"If he could
learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time
the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he
would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years
passed, he fell into despair, and lost all hope, for who could
ever learn to love a beast? "
from Beauty and
The Beast
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"Buffy, are you
sure you're alright?" Xander asked his friend one night on
patrol.
Buffy piped up,
realizing she was sulking again, off to Spike-land. "Yeah,
sure, why?" she asked rapidly.
"I don't know,
you seem a bit distracted, that's all." He paused and looked
at her. "Is not about Angel, is it?" He asked knowing
of the recent miracle that occured to the former vampire. He
still could not understand why she had not taken him back, after
all he was the love of her life, they were meant to be together
for eternity.
"No, not about
Angel." she replied wearily.
Xander stopped
walking and looked at her. "Buffy can I ask you a
question?"
She sighted. She knew
what was coming, none of her friends could understand why she did
not take Angel back. "Sure."
He took a deep
breath. "Why? I mean isn't this the way you always wanted
it? It's the perfect ending for the perfect fairy tale."
Buffy gave him a
small smile.
"I mean here he
comes, galloping into town, declaring his undying love, all is
possible, you could walk off into the sunlight together and have
kids, a house with a white picket fence, and you know, grow old
together, and live happily ever after."
Buffy looked sadly at
the ground where her feet met the earth.
"That would be
the ending to the fairy tale, wouldn't it?" she said sadly.
"Buffy, what's
wrong? For the past two weeks you've been a complete mess?"
he asked "You're acting like someone died, or someone left,
and the only person who's left town is Spike and we are all
mouring him soooo much." he finished sarcastically.
Buffy winced at the
mention of her lover. It hurt so badly, as if she was peeling raw
inside her corpse.
Xander studied her
features as she winced. "Oh no....." he trailed off as
realization was brought to him. The past two weeks, the last few
weeks the vampire had been there, her distance. Both of them
missing at the same time, her happy smiles out of no where, and
eversince the disappearance of the bleached blonde her sulky mood
that none of her fake smiles could hide. "You,...you....you
fell in love with him...." he said pointing a trembling
finger at her accusingly.
"Xander, what
are you talking about." she asked turning around and
suddenly wishing for a heard of vampires to attack.
"With
Spike,...you and him...Oh God!" he said in shock.
"Please, Xander,
it's Spike!" she said trying to looked annoyed and pissed
off but failing miserably.
"BUFFY!!!! He's
a vampire!" Xander shouted.
"I know he's a
vampire! I am a vampire slayer and we can never be. I KNOW THIS!
Don't you think I know this! Why do you think he left!!"
Buffy yelled back, tears treathening to fall. "But
regardless of him being a vampire, or me being the slayer, or
this entire silly world going to pieces around us, I love him,
because we are alike!"
Xander's mouth gapped
open at her wide confession, this was obviously something she had
stored in her heart and was theatening to spill. Buffy was in
love with Spike. Spike was in love with Buffy.
"Only in the
hellmouth." was all that Xander could say.
Buffy wipped her
tears and gave in to the small chuckle. "I suppose you hate
me now." she said.
"I don't hate
you, Buffster. I don't understand you, but I'll still love ya no
matter what." He said hugging her.
Buffy returned his
hug, she felt lifted. Finally she had screamed what she was
feeling inside, the thoughts and whishes that she had burried
deep inside had come out. Someone else knew about her pain.
Xander may never like the idea, but atleast he would listen to
her and that's all she needed. She had gone through five journals
in two weeks and her hand held blisters and her lonely pillow
just would not dry up after nightly crying fest. Not even Mr.
Gordo helped, he wasn't Spike.
"C'mon, lets go
get ice cream, my treat. And I'll guess I'll listen all about you
and deadboy, jr."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did he feel
pointless, feeble and distrait,
Unwanted by everyone
and in the way?
Did he love people
very much
Yet find them die one
day?
He did not love in
the human way.
He did not feel like
this, He had a future bliss.
But there is no
suffering like having made a mistake
Because of being of
an inferior make.
He was not inferior,
he was superior.
His thoughts were
different.
How could he feel
like this? He was the King of Heaven.
from "Was He
Married" by Stevie Smith
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The man next to him
would not shut up. It was worst than Dru. He might be drunk but
he could still hear him babling about the stars talking to him
and the waves calling him. He wanted to take his bottle of
tequila and ram it through his skull. He could do it, the man was
a demon, but for some reason it felt wrong.
Damn Slayer and
her damn conscious. He said to himself.
"Don't blame
her, you're all covered with her." The demon next to him
told him laughing.
Spike set his jaw and
turned to look at the creature.
"Love her don't
you?" the man said grinning.
"Mind your
business, mate, I don't want any trouble." Spike replied
taking a gulp at his drink.
"Ah, I
see.."
"No you dont see
nothin', I am not interested in your ability to see how much I
love her." Spike interupted him. "Cause it doesn't
matter......get over it, I am." He said and took the last
gulp of his bottle.
The man started
laughing insanely and some of the demona in the bar were turning
ot the unlikely couple and thier interesting conversation.
Spike knew he had to
get out of there before the walking asylum mentioned it was a
slayer they were refering to. He wanted to live, punish himself
for falling in love with the girl. For being weak and vulnerable.
"She does love
you, you know." the man sung smiling.
Spike let out a sight
and shook his head.
"Shut, yer
trap." he hissed at the demon.
"Tell me
something, vampire?" the man asked turning on his seat and
looking at him. "What kind of a soulles creature are
you?"
Spike had enough, it
was either run while he could or beat him till he was
unconscious.
"One that's two
seconds away from killing you." Spike replied tossing his
money to the bartender who looked at him in discust.
"Self sacrifice
is the ultimate draw, vampire." the man continue as if no
threat had been placed on his head. "The stars tell me that,
you know, they always speak to me. Singing in my ear..."
Spike took a large
unessesary breath, it was like being back with Dru. The man
continued his speech on his dialogues with bruning bringht light
and Spike stood and tugged his coat on.
"She'll
die." the man finally said and all the movement in Spike
body seased. He abroutly tuned and glared at the man.
"That's not my
problem anymore." Spike said taking out a cigarrette and
lighting it. "She has peaches to look after her now."
The man looked at him
with a wide grin and shook his head.
Spike looked at him
and cocked his head.
"She does not
love him anymore." the man said.
"Peaches is not
going to leave her."
"The question is
not whether he left her or not, but whether she made him
leave." the man said inspecting his half empty glass of
whiskey.
"Buffy kicked
him out?" Spike asked surprised.
"She'll die,
she'll die alone." the man sung looking at the brown liquid.
Spike grabbed the man
by this shirt and slammed him against the bar counter.
"When?"
Spike yelled.
The man started
laughing. "You'll be too late."
"When, god
dammit, WHEN!!???"
"You'll be too
late, vampire, you'll be too late."
Spike decided he was
waisting time with the loony toon and droped him as fast and he
could. He bolted out the door on his way to Sunnydale.
Buffy was not going
ot die, not while he was still un-dead.
"You'll be too
late." the man sung in the background. "You'll be too
late."
TBC....................................
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