This story contains characters
created by George Lucas and owned by Lucasfilm Ltd. No money is being
earned and no infringement is intended. Please don't sue, because
I'm just a poor college student and have no money.
Distribute as you wish, with
disclaimer intact, but please contact me before posting it on another web
page. OK? I welcome any, and all constructive comments to me at: swbriatharen@yahoo.com
:~)
Author's note: Oh, obviously
Anakin didn't write a letter on DS2 after being turned back to the lightside
and before he did. Deal with it. ;) Or, think of it as a letter he composed
in his head, and he leaves unsigned because he dies before the thoughts
are finished. :)
From Ani to Ami: Letter
1
by Bria
March 6, 2001
My dearest Ami,
I have failed. If I had to
pick one word to describe my life, failure would be it. I failed my mother
who had all her hopes in me. I failed my Master who did everything within
his power to show me the right path to take. I failed the Order I was supposedly
to bring balance to. I failed myself. This is not what I wanted to become.
Most of all though, I failed you, my love.
I look at Luke right now.
He is the man I could've been. The man I should've been. He is such
a perfect combination of the two of us Ami. Your faithfulness to the end,
your dedication, your love, my affinity for the Force, my blond hair and
blue eyes, my anger. And yet... he didn't give in... at this moment, I
take a good, hard, internal look at myself. Where did I go wrong? Why did
I stray? Strange as it may be, at this moment, here with my son, I cannot
even remember what caused me to turn. It seems like a thousand lifetimes
ago. I know it must have seem momentous at the time, but nothing could
have been bigger, more important than the love that I felt for you. How
could I have ever abandoned you?
You and Obi-Wan were right
to hide Luke and Leia from me Ami. Even when I knew about Luke, Leia was
still safe. I wanted to turn that dear sweet boy into... a monster... a
mockery of all that he has been taught... I wanted to turn him into me.
Thank the Force he wasn't swayed like that. If he had been... no... I can't
finish that thought.
And dear sweet Leia. Not
only to I have a son, but a daughter as well?
LEIA ORGANA?!?!?!
Few things could have surprised a Dark Lord of the Sith, but that
little revelation sure did. Once I realized it, my thoughts of course turned
to how I could control her. Was it only 1/2 an hour ago or so that those
were my exact thoughts? The things that can change so drastically in so
little time! And now here I lie dying.
I deserve this. This suffering,
this agony. I know I do, I deserve it and far more. That doesn't keep me
from hurting though. I suppose it is fitting though, for a former Dark
Lord of the Sith to spend the last moments of his life in pain.
I also must wonder... are
you going to be on the other side? Is it even possible that you have forgiven
me and still love me? Part of me screams out that your love for me was
and is eternal, but another part of me says that is not possible. My sins
against you and our love are far too great. I deserve pain and heartache
for all time.
Yet, as I feel my heart slowing
down and take my last few breaths, I hope against hope that this is not
the case. I am lost, have been lost for the last 20+ years without you.
The thought of being lost without you *forever*... that is the greatest
pain of all.
I am slipping away... into
the arms of my angel...
******************
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