From Ami to Ani 1
This story contains characters created by George Lucas and owned by Lucasfilm Ltd. No money is being earned and no infringement is intended. Please don't sue, because I'm just a poor college student and have no money.

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Author's note: Oh, obviously Anakin didn't write a letter on DS2 after being turned back to the lightside and before he did. Deal with it. ;) Or, think of it as a letter he composed in his head, and he leaves unsigned because he dies before the thoughts are finished. :)


From Ani to Ami: Letter 1
by Bria
March 6, 2001


My dearest Ami,

I have failed. If I had to pick one word to describe my life, failure would be it. I failed my mother who had all her hopes in me. I failed my Master who did everything within his power to show me the right path to take. I failed the Order I was supposedly to bring balance to. I failed myself. This is not what I wanted to become. Most of all though, I failed you, my love.

I look at Luke right now. He is the man I could've been. The man I should've been. He is such a perfect combination of the two of us Ami. Your faithfulness to the end, your dedication, your love, my affinity for the Force, my blond hair and blue eyes, my anger. And yet... he didn't give in... at this moment, I take a good, hard, internal look at myself. Where did I go wrong? Why did I stray? Strange as it may be, at this moment, here with my son, I cannot even remember what caused me to turn. It seems like a thousand lifetimes ago. I know it must have seem momentous at the time, but nothing could have been bigger, more important than the love that I felt for you. How could I have ever abandoned you?

You and Obi-Wan were right to hide Luke and Leia from me Ami. Even when I knew about Luke, Leia was still safe. I wanted to turn that dear sweet boy into... a monster... a mockery of all that he has been taught... I wanted to turn him into me. Thank the Force he wasn't swayed like that. If he had been... no... I can't finish that thought.

And dear sweet Leia. Not only to I have a son, but a daughter as well? LEIA ORGANA?!?!?! Few things could have surprised a Dark Lord of the Sith, but that little revelation sure did. Once I realized it, my thoughts of course turned to how I could control her. Was it only 1/2 an hour ago or so that those were my exact thoughts? The things that can change so drastically in so little time! And now here I lie dying.

I deserve this. This suffering, this agony. I know I do, I deserve it and far more. That doesn't keep me from hurting though. I suppose it is fitting though, for a former Dark Lord of the Sith to spend the last moments of his life in pain.

I also must wonder... are you going to be on the other side? Is it even possible that you have forgiven me and still love me? Part of me screams out that your love for me was and is eternal, but another part of me says that is not possible. My sins against you and our love are far too great. I deserve pain and heartache for all time.

Yet, as I feel my heart slowing down and take my last few breaths, I hope against hope that this is not the case. I am lost, have been lost for the last 20+ years without you. The thought of being lost without you *forever*... that is the greatest pain of all.

I am slipping away... into the arms of my angel...

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