*See part zero or one for disclaimer and warnings.

Rediscovering Lucas
Part Six
By: Victoria May

"Lucas, I can't thank you enough. I don't know why I'm paying all these technicians when you get the job done faster and more efficiently than the lot of them. What can I do for you-do you need a new computer system? New vid screen? How about that Z580 keyboard Captain Bridger mentioned you've been drooling over?" Admiral Noyce grinned at Lucas, his large hand resting on Lucas' shoulder.

Lucas grinned back. "You've done enough for me already Sir. I can't believe you talked the captain into granting me shore leave this afternoon before I have to report back to the SeaQuest. I didn't think he was ever going to let me off the boat."

Noyce's grin faded and his grip on Lucas' shoulder tightened. "Lucas. You do realize that running away like you did was a serious matter? You scared a lot of people, including me. And getting drunk? What were you thinking? I read the police report. I know that your friend, the one who was driving, had been drinking as well. You could have been killed. It was irresponsible Lucas. You're lucky Bridger didn't ground you for a year for that stunt."

"I know Sir. It was stupid. I was stupid. I wasn't thinking. It won't happen again." Lucas' voice was tight, his eyes not quite meeting the admiral's.

The small body tensed under his grip and Noyce released the shoulder he had been squeezing. "Lucas, I know things haven't been easy for you. If you ever feel like talking, you can call. I won't mind. In a way, I feel responsible for you. I agreed to let you on the SeaQuest. Maybe that was a mistake. If it was, I'm sorry. But I can't change it now. What's done is done. We both have to make the best out of this situation. I for one, feel damn lucky you're a part of the SeaQuest. You do us proud son. When the time comes and you feel like you want to enlist, just say the word. You'll have your pick of assignments. But, you know, the SeaQuest will always be there and she'll always need a good computer analyst." Noyce paused and cleared his throat. "What I'm saying Lucas, is that you'll always have a place on the SeaQuest, if you want it, that is."

Lucas raised his eyes, meeting the admiral's. Blue spheres filled with light and hope-silently showing the boy's gratitude. His cheeks flushed slightly and his lips quivered, finally spreading into a small hopeful smile.

"Thank you Sir. I believe you mean that, and I'll keep it in mind. I will," Lucas added as Noyce's face betrayed his own doubts. " It's nice to know that someone wants me." Lucas dropped his eyes to the floor and shuffled his feet awkwardly. "Well, I'm meeting someone soon, so I'd better get going."

"Of course Lucas. I wouldn't want to keep you from your plans." Admiral Noyce watched silently as Lucas walked to the exit and a guard opened the door. "Lucas!" he called.

Lucas turned around and looked questioningly at him.

Shaking his head, Noyce lifted his hand. "Never mind. Just-take care of yourself," he said. Lucas nodded and turned away. The guard closed the door and Noyce sighed. He was right. What's done is done and he couldn't change it now. Even if it meant sacrificing an innocent soul in the bargain. Noyce slowly made his way to his office, feeling like the devil incarnate.

*****

Lucas settled down onto the sweetly scented grass and gazed up at the white smudges across the sky. He closed his eyes as a breeze blew around him, causing the grass to sway back and forth. The air was perfumed and he drew in a lungful of the intoxicating scent.

"Lucas!" a light voice broke through the tranquility. Lucas' eyes snapped open at the sound of his name and he smiled at the small sprite who came sprinting across the lawn towards him.

"Sara!" he greeted, a grin lighting his face. Suddenly, his arms were full of a bouncing, happy teenager.

Sara hugged her friend and finally pulled away, gazing at Lucas intensely. Satisfied that he was all right, Sara settled down next to Lucas and plucked a yellow dandelion from the grass.

"How are you?" she asked as she slowly twirled the weed in her fingers.

"I'm good. I'm f-fine, I m-mean," Lucas replied , suddenly feeling a bit queasy and tongue-tied. His unease was soothed though, by a small smile and a quick glance from Sara.

"I'm glad. Were you in much trouble?" she asked, still staring at her small prize.

"Yeah," Lucas admitted. "But it wasn't too bad, not really. At least, it wasn't as bad as I expected."

"Oh, so what, did they have you mopping decks and cleaning toilets or something?" Sara joked.

Lucas chuckled. "No. The captain grounded me and confined me to my quarters. No vid link, no internex."

"Sounds boring to me," Sara said, grimacing at the thought of going without her vid link for even a day.

"Well, it was boring, but I had a lot of visitors. I think they were worried about what I would do with all that time on my hands. I swear, the captain came to escort me to dinner almost every night. It was nice though. I didn't get that much attention before I took off." Lucas' voice faltered as this simple realization settled over him.

"So," Lucas hastily continued. "How about you? Did you get in trouble?"

Sara brought the small yellow flower to her nose and inhaled, her eyes closing. "Hmm," she sighed. "I love dandelions. They're so simple-so sweet. They don't judge or condemn; they'll grow anywhere their seeds land. And when they take root and spread, it's like a wild fire. Like the sun suddenly became accessible to us. They're hope and a promise of what can be. So beautiful . . .." her voice trailed off as she once again buried her nose in the dainty flower.

Lucas gazed across the lawn; the splatter of weeds blurring and running together until they rippled like a yellow sea. Lucas sucked in his breath and turned to Sara. His eyes were wide with awe. How could someone so young harbor such deep, soulful feelings?

"They're beautiful. You-you're beautiful," he whispered. "I've never seen a flower so simple-so passionate."

Sara quickly dropped her head into her folded arms, lying across her drawn up knees.

"Lucas, don't . . .," her muffled voice pleaded. "You don't know what you're saying. You don't know me. You don't know . . .."

"I know what I see. I know what I hear. I see you. I hear you. You Sara! Your words are fairy dust. It's like you're Tinker Bell, and I'm Peter Pan. I feel like I could fly right now! All you have to do is sprinkle some more of those magical words over me and I could soar away."

Sara snorted, disbelieving. "Peter Pan went off with Wendy, Lucas. He left Tinker Bell all alone."

"Well, I'd be happier in Never Never Land with you. Don't you realize how special you are?"

Sara jerked, as if slapped. "He says I'm special. He says that's why he . . .." Sara sat up, looking like she were just waking from a dream. "Never mind."

Reaching out, Lucas grasped Sara's still hand. "Why he what?" Lucas asked, his heart suddenly filled with fear.

"Forget I said anything Lucas. Please," she quietly pleaded. "Just go back to your safe little boat and leave me alone."

Lucas could feel the air whoosh out of his lungs as her harsh words swarmed around him like bees, stinging him over and over. "S-Sara," he stammered. "I'm s-sorry. I shouldn't have pushed. If you don't want to talk about it, I won't make you. Just, please-don't make me leave. I . . . I really like you."

Sara sat silently, ignoring Lucas' pleas. She tensed as Lucas released her hand and pulled away. As Lucas stood, she finally raised her eyes to look at him.

"Wait. Don't go."

Lucas paused and looked down at her. His face was twisted with grief and confusion.

Sara extended her hand. "Help me up," she said. Lucas reached down and wrapped his hand around hers. Pulling her to her feet, he stood back and watched her.

"I'm sorry Lucas. I don't know what's the matter with me," she said, shaking her head.

"Nothing's the matter with you. You're perfect," Lucas said, stepping closer.

"Kiss me."

"Are you sure?" Lucas asked, hesitating despite his body's demands to follow her orders.

"Yes. Please, Lucas. I want you to kiss me." Sara closed the gap between them and grabbed his hands, entwining her fingers through his. She raised her face and looked into Lucas' eyes. Losing herself in the endless blue, she almost didn't feel the gentle brush of his lips against hers.

Lucas relaxed as he felt her respond to his kiss. His eyelids fluttered closed and his heart began to pound. Her lips were soft against his own and he thought he could taste strawberries. The kiss was gentle, passionate. Not cold or demanding-manipulative like Rae's kiss. No, this was special. Lucas could feel his lips tingling and his face grew warm and flushed.

"Wow," he sighed as they broke apart. Sara blushed and smiled shyly.

Lucas gestured awkwardly toward her face. "You've got some, ah, yellow," Lucas stammered as he raised his hand to swipe at a yellow smudge on her nose. "There, I've got it," he said as he began to drop his arm.

"Lucas! You're bleeding," Sara gasped. She reached out and snagged hold of his sleeve, pointing out a small blood stain.

"I'm fine. It's just a scratch. I was working at UEO Headquarters and must have cut myself without realizing it." Lucas tried to pull his arm away. "Really, it's fine. It's not even bleeding anymore."

"Lucas. It could get infected. Let me see. We can go to my house and put an antibiotic on it if we need to." Sara continued to hold onto Lucas' sleeve, refusing to release it until she saw the scratch. When Lucas didn't move to pull his sleeve up, Sara used her other hand to push it up herself.

"Sara, don't!" Lucas snapped.

"Jeez Lucas, don't be such a baby. . .," Sara's voice trailed off as she saw not one, but four recent cuts on Lucas' arm, shadowed by several healed scars.

"What is this Lucas? You said it was a scratch. What happened? Did you-did you do this?" Sara looked up at Lucas, incredulous.

Lucas snagged his arm away and pushed his sleeve down until it was covering the cuts. Lucas avoided Sara's eyes and wrapped his long arms around his churning stomach.

"Why would you do that Lucas? That's, that's . . .."

"Crazy! I know, okay? It's crazy. Why do you think my parents don't want me around? Who wants their crazy kid around to embarrass them?" Lucas stopped his tirade and turned his back to Sara, before continuing quietly. "They hate me, you know that? They won't admit it, but they must hate me. I mean, neither one of them can stand to be around me for very long. They don't want me. I know they don't love me. I don't have anybody Sara.

"I try not to think about it, you know? Because, when I do, it just washes over me and I can't control it. Their hate becomes my hate. If they can't love me, there must be something really wrong with me. All these feelings, they get all muddled up inside. And I'm trapped. I'm trapped under an ocean all alone. What am I suppose to do when the pain just gets to be too much? When I feel like I'm drowning?

"I don't want the captain or anyone on the SeaQuest to know how crazy I am. I can't let them know. What am I suppose to do-where am I suppose to go if they find out how crazy I am? When I cut myself, it's like I just released a thousand pounds of pressure. I can finally breath. I can think. I can feel. I'm me again. I can go out and face everyone. I can laugh at their jokes. I can tell my own. And when they have a problem, a computer that needs to be fixed, I have the energy to work on it until it's done. And it's done right. You know? Only the best. I am a Wolenczeck. There's a certain standard I have to live up to. I owe my father that much at least. And maybe, one day, he won't be so embarrassed by me. Maybe he'll want me back."

Sara swiped at a tear as it coursed down her cheek. She reached out and lightly touched Lucas' back. "Lucas . . .."

"No! I don't need your pity. Don't feel sorry for me. For whatever reason, I deserve this. None of this would happen if I didn't somehow deserve it. That just wouldn't be fair, you know? So I know that somewhere along the line, I did something to cause all of this to happen. I made my parents stop loving me. And they did love me once. I know they did."

Lucas began to walk away from Sara, his arms still wrapped tightly around him. His small body shuddered as a cool breeze swept past. Ignoring the stream of tears the pooled in his eyes and tumbled over his cheeks, he walked on, ignoring Sara's cries behind him.

They did love him once, long ago. Before Lucas' memories could develop. All parents love their children-why else would they bring them into this world? And he isn't really alone. Not really. He has Darwin. He can always talk to Darwin. Darwin doesn't judge him, doesn't point out his flaws. Doesn't expect him to act grown up. Darwin doesn't care that he has college degrees or that he is smarter than ninety five percent of SeaQuest's crew. Darwin plays with him. Like the child he is.

Lucas continued to walk, his tears drying on his cheeks. The world around him a blur of colors and sounds. He didn't hear his name being called or the approaching footsteps. He wasn't aware of much, until long, slender tan arms wrapped around his shoulders. Hot breath on his cheek was followed by a familiar voice murmuring quiet words.

"You're not looking too good kid. I know just what you need to perk you right up. Just you wait and see. Whatever's eating at you will just melt away. Trust me." The arms tightened around him for a second before one fell away, leaving him to be led by the remaining arm around his shoulders.

Lucas looked up and into bright brown eyes. "Rae?"

"At your service."

-tba