Hrrrm. Third piece started, and it seems I'm *still* stuck on the first one.
Ah, well. This little piece of weirdness was born while I was eating olive
oil pizza with chicken and sausage on top. I'm sure there've been *some*
stranger places where people have come up with fanfic ideas.

Disclaimers:
Neon Genesis Evangelion and all related characters, concepts, etc., are
property of ADVision and Gainax. I only *wish* they were mine.
This story is copyright Kenneth Patterson, Two Thousand and One A.D.
Contains no squid.



Opening theme: Belong (R.E.M., "Out of Time")

Maternal Instinct
Stage I: Conception/Nature of the Beast

On a stretch of godforsaken coastline, they waited. Reluctant guardians
of a ruin, they languished and griped on the waste of their talent and
resources. Row upon row, Division 5 of the UN Armored Force sat there with
their turrets pointed at the sea. They had been watching this position for
over a month now, and it was beginning to wear on them. Scuttlebutt had it
that half of the UN's tank forces had already been rotated here under the
same orders. Some speculated that this was a new training method for
withstanding the stress of sieges, leading others to guess that the UN was
planning to sieze control of the world's capitals in order to expand its
power. This was a signal to some of the more experienced troops that their
comrades were beginning to crack. They prayed for something, anything, just
as long as it relieved the monotony. Their prayers were answered.

And, as is often the case, they wished that their plea had never been
made, much less heard.

The Thing that strode from the sea literally walked right over them,
shrugging off their most desperate slavos without sparing them a glance,
assuming it saw the way humans and animals did. None of them were quite sure
that such an assumption was warrented. At least, they wouldn't have been, had
they not been giving their all in a futile attempt to destroy it or drive it
back to whence it came.

* * *

Approximately twenty miles away, the sole occupant of a Maglev train
couldn't have cared less that men were struggling and dying to maintain her
well-being. Her sole point of attention was the piece of paper that she
repeatedly crumpled in her fist.

The woman had obviously left her youth behind her, yet she had managed
to maintain at least a tenuous hold on her figure. Slenderly built, she
seemed to be about 6 years younger than her true age. She was 37, and would
vehemently deny that she was approaching middle age to anyone who asked. Her
medium-length brown hair was dawn back into a tight ball, and her green eyes
glanced furtively about, seeming to expect betrayal from anything, including
the cushions of the train car. Her face was free from lines, except for a
tightness around the eyes. She wore an olive buttondown short-sleeve shirt
and a pair of loose khaki pants.

Sighing, she leaned back in her seat, knocking her head against the
windows as if trying to clear head of all thoughts. It obviously failed, as
she shook her head, and returned her attention to the paper that sat in her
hand. Straightening it out, she read it once more.


'Your presence is requested at NERV headquarters, Tokyo-3,
regarding certain matters concerning national and global security. You
will naturally be expected to be circumspect about such sensitive
matters in your discourse with unauthorized personnel, and are
expected to come alone. Any individuals accompanying you will be
detained immediately upon arrival. You are asked to come of your own
violition; should you refuse, more forceful measures have been
authorized.'


The paper was covered with innumerable creases, and had a few slightly
dark stains on it, vaugely resembling drops of watered-down mascara. From the
duffel at her side, she drew a large, glossy photo of another woman. There
was a note attached, saying "Operations Director Captain Misato Katsuragi
will be sent to pick you up at the station, duty permitting." The woman in
the picture was still fairly young; certainly a bit younger than the occupant
of the train. She had medium-length purple hair, which she wore freely, dark
eyes, a serious expression on her face, and wore a black dress-like uniform.
Around her neck hung a silver chain, supporting a graceful looking silver
bird with a wide wingspan. She seemed to exude an air of competance and
determination.

Yui Ikari gazed wistfully out the window, until the train came to a
stop. She picked up her duffel, a backpack, and a cage, and waited for the
doors to open. As the train slowed, she thought she saw a pale-looking girl
in a green schoolgirl's dress standing on the platform, but when the door
opened, the apparition had vanished.

* * *

Fortunately for her, the Captain was on time. She was, in fact, wearing
a black dress, albiet a much different one than was shown in the picture.
This one was sleeveless, short, and all-around decidedly non-regulation,
although, to its credit, it did have a patch on it that Yui recognized as
belonging to a NERV staff member. The woman bowed politely. "Good afternoon,
Mrs. Ikari. It's an honor to finally meet you."

Yui flinched at that. "It's Ms."

Misato scratched her head slightly, and pulled out a slip of paper,
squinting to make sure she was reading it correctly. "That's strange. It says
Mrs. here. It must be a clerical err-"

"It's no error," snapped Yui. "I understand you're here to escort me to
headquarters?"

"Yes..." replied the captain, not expecting so hostile a response. "My
car's right over this way." She indicated a small, but speedy looking coupe
with a blue paint job.

"Well, then there's no point in standing around, now, is there?" asked
Yui, already starting in that direction. Misato rushed to catch up. Yui was
loading her baggage into the back of the car. She flung the backpack and
duffel in fairly hard, as though she was taking out what seemed to be a
considerable reserve of anger on them, but she was much more careful about
placing the cage on top of the other things.

Misato started the car, and for a while they drove in silence. By the
time they came to a bend overlooking the city, she became curious about the
contents of the cage that Ms. Ikari had brought with her. "So... whatcha got
cooped up back there?"

Yui reached back, unlatching the door to the cage, and drew out a large
shorthair cat, with golden fur and slightly darker stripes across his back.
The cat mewed happily, and batted at Yui's fingers. "His name's Neutron," she
said.

Misato blinked at that. "Seems more positive than anything else to me."

"Exactly."

"I'm afraid I'm not getting it."

"It's an old, obscure, and extremely inside joke," replied Yui,
scratching behind the cat's ears.

'Hmmm...' thought Misato. At least she seemed to have lost her
combativeness, and actually seemed happy for once. "So, do you know why
you've been summoned?"

Yui gave a soft snort. "Summoned? Shanghaied is more like it. I came
because forceful abduction is hell on my blood pressure." She let Neutron
crawl up her arm and across her shoulders.

"Forceful abduction? No one told me they'd authorized that... I had no
idea they considered you so important," pondered the captain.

"A singular honor, I assure you," Yui said, shooing Neutron back into
his cage. "Yes, I'd say they considered me fairly important. You could say I
was one of the founding members of NERV, back before it was even called
that."

"Really? What was it like back then? I joined up not long after the
Gehirn reasearch group was disbanded, so you must have been before my time."

Yui shuddered at Misato's question. "I... I don't know. Please don't
ask me questions about that."

Yui's reaction startled Misato. "I'm sorry... I didn't realize you had
problems with-"

"It's my psychiatrist's advice, and I'm going to follow it, mostly
because I get horrid headaches when I don't."

"And yet, here you are."

"Yes, here I am. One more thing I owe that bastard."

Misato wasn't quite sure how to take that, so they drove in silence
once more, until they reached the car mover. The door sealed behind them, and
after a long delay, the conveyance began to move. Misato decided to make
another attempt at conversation while she applied her lipstick.

"Anyway, this will take us to-"

"The Geo-Front. That much I know," interrupted Yui, staring absently
out the window with her head resting on her fist and her arm propped up on
the plexiglass.

"I thought you said you didn't remember," remarked Misato as the tram
burst into the golden light of the aforementioned cavern. An idyllic,
forested landscape stretched partway toward the horizon, then suddenly cut
back, becoming a metal wall that sloped in towards the center, like the
inside of a hemisphere. Clusters of buildings hung from the center of the
ceiling, and shone in the light provided by fixtures around the dome,
designed to simulate the light of the world above. On the ground, a huge lake
sat beside a pyramidal structure, which was in turn next to a similarly
shaped man-made depression. Several other monolithic buildings could be seen
scattered around. Also, the cables for the other car trams hung between the
ground and simulated sky, delicately catching the artificial light, so that
they almost resembled a dew-laden spider's web in the light of dawn.

"Most things I don't. Some things come in little flashes, like the Geo-
Front. Others appear in dreams. Nightmares, usually," Yui replied, suddenly
tense and frightened, seeming to relive unwanted memories as she sat there.

"And you're not sure why this is?" asked Misato, more puzzled than
ever.

"Not really. I'll explain later, after we reach headquarters."

Unfortunatly for the sake of conversation, the Geo-Front suddenly began
to shake violently, setting the tram swaying.

"What in heaven's name is going on?" shouted Yui, as the tram came to
an abrupt, jerking stop.

"Hold on a second," said Misato, as she fished through one of the car's
side bins. After about half a minute, she pulled out a slightly battered
cellular phone. "Hello? This is Captain Katsuragi! Hunh? Oh, hello,
Professor! Yes, I'd like to know just why the Geo-Front picked this moment to
take dancing lessons! It's *what*?! Damn! No, we can't get there immediately,
the car tram is jammed! You can't get a maintinence team here? What are we
supposed to do? Fix it ourselves? Yes!? Why you... yes sir, I understand the
communications protocol... Katsuragi out." She closed up the phone, and
chucked it into the rear of the car. "Looks like we have to do a little elbow
work... Yui?" She glanced over to where she should have been sitting, and
found the car door open. She frantically searched around the car, until she
saw a hand waving to her from behind the front of the tram platform.

Yui pulled herself up from the platform in front of them, and turned to
Misato. "I don't suppose you have a tool kit in that car, do you? The
stabilizers for the platforms were knocked out of alignment by the shock,
which caused the emergency stop."

Misato blinked. "I... should. You know that much about mechanics?"

Yui nodded. "You take up a lot of hobbies when you're desperate to
avoid remeniscing, and determined not to depend on anyone. Besides, I was
here when they built this thing. Technical details come to me pretty
easily... as long as they don't have events or other memories attached," she
added, bitter once more. Misato decided that now was a good time to back off,
and went to root through the trunk.

After a minute, she found what she was looking for, a small red box.
She quickly delivered the box to Ms. Ikari, who already had an impatient look
in her eyes. She snatched the tool box, pulled out a socket wrench, and
started delicately twisting some of the nuts. "Fortunately, the system is
designed so that it can be easily adjusted manually, just in case of
emergencies like this one."

"So, how long should it be?" asked Misato, sitting on the hood of the
car.

"Well," replied Yui, standing up from where she had been kneeling, "I'm
already done with this one. But I need to repeat the process on every single
platform, so I should be about another 15 minutes." With that, she climbed up
onto the platform that held Misato's car, and went to work at the far end.

"At least we get to enjoy the view," Misato thought out loud. "Lovely,
isn't it?"

Yui cursed softy as her grip on the wrench slipped. "I suppose so.
Don't really pay much attention to that sort of thing. Honestly, it's just
not that important to me any more."

Misato couldn't really think of a reply to that, so she held her tounge
until Yui was finished. Yui clambered back down to the tram car they were
using, hit the 'Reset' button located on the platform behind them, and got
back in the car. As they started moving again, Misato finally thought of
something to say. "What was that you said earlier? About being completely
self-sufficient?"

"Oh, that?" she reponded. "Haven't had anyone who looked out for me for
a long time. I can't remember the last time I actually had someone I could
call a friend. I used to when I was much younger, I know, but that's faded
with the passing of years... some years more trying than others. Anyway, I
decided that if no one was going to help me, I wasn't going to need any help.
Beside that, I was desperate for something to do in my spare time. So I
learned things. I'm a fully qualified mechanic or technician, and I even took
a course in cooking and another in survival for what I loosely consider
'fun'. They've been quite a help to me over the years, and helped keep me
alive, for what that's worth."

"So what did you do as a job all this time?"

"I've been a consultant of sorts for genetic engineering labs and
pharmaceutical companies. I may not remember what I did with Gehirn, but I
haven't lost my education," she replied with a slight hint of pride.

"Ah, we're here," announced Misato.

* * *

Like a lion in the tall grass, Misato navigated through the halls of
Central Dogma with grace and purpose. Okay, maybe not exactly. More like a
flying fish in the tall grass; flopping about aimlessly, and expending a
great deal of energy doing it. Yui couldn't be much help, as almost every
place or object she looked at seemed to bring some half-memory to the
surface, causing her to clutch her head with one of her hands and moan
softly. Finally, they came to a stop when Misato nearly ran into someone
standing behind a door. Someone wearing a blue swimsuit under a labcoat, of
all things. She had blond hair, which did not match the brown of her
eyebrows, and piercing green eyes, ones that currently conveyed a sense of
annoyance. Misato blinked and stammered as she tried to get her thoughts back
in order. "Oh... Er, hello, Ritsuko."

Yui's head snapped up at that. "Ritsuko... I knew a Ritsuko... give me
a minute here."

Misato and Ritsuko politely waited for a moment, when Yui snapped her
fingers. "That's it! Ritsuko... you were... Naoko's daughter, right?"

Misato was able to catch a quick flash of anger in her old friend's
eyes, although it was quickly supressed. Yui didn't notice, as her headache
flared up again, with a vengeance.

"That is correct," answered Ritsuko, keeping her voice the model of
calm and politeness. "And may I assume, Misato, that she is the Third?"
Misato nodded, and Ritsuko turned back to Yui. "Would you please come with
me, Mrs. Ikari?"

"Ms.," Yui spat out, but followed anyway as Ritsuko turned and started
walking down the corridor.

"I'd like to thank you for coming here, Ma'am," said Ritsuko after they
had been walking for several minutes. "I'm sure this must be very difficult
for you, what with the ordeal you went through all those years ago."

"Oh, don't thank me," she replied, dripping with sarcasm. "Thank NERV
security and covert operations. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here
today."

Ritsuko frowned at that, but said nothing until they reached the end of
the corridor. Before she swiped her card through the slot, she turned towards
Yui. "You must understand, Ma'am, that everything beyond this point is
considered confidential information, and that any mention or discussion of it
with unauthorized personnell is grounds for arrest and incarceration. Is that
clear?"

"Am I authorized to mumble about it in my sleep?" Yui asked archly.
"Just open the damn door."

Shaking her head, Ritsuko opened the door. The room was dark. Yui and
Misato walked in first, and once they were inside Ritsuko followed, turning
on the lights. And Yui beheld an oversive purple cowl-like helmet with a
large horn set in the forehead.

The technicians working in the neighboring cages all winced when they
heard the scream. It wasn't unusual for a new worker to let out a startled
cry the first time they saw an Eva, but this scream was nothing like those.
It continued for several minutes, rose and fell in pitch, and carried such an
air of soul-rending torment and pain that it could not be anything but
unsettling.

Even closer to the source of the scream, Misato and Ritsuko were most
definitely unsettled. Upon seeing the immense monstrosity, Yui had begun
screaming inarticulately and collapsed on the ground, curling into fetal
position. After exhausting her lung capacity, she began to pant and twitch,
her hands seeming to search for something, while her eyes glanced around
furtively, a sense of fear and terror showing in them. Eventually, she pulled
a small sealed paper container from her pocket. Ripping it open, she brought
out a hypodermic needle, and injected herself in the arm as carefully as she
could with shaking hands. After another minute or so, she finally calmed and
stood up, placing the needle back in its wrapper, and putting it in her
pocket. Seeing the nervous and startled faces of Ritsuko and Misato, she
sighed softly. "It's a combination painkiller and mild long-term memory
supressant. It helps things that are buried stay that way."

'What kind of maniac are we bringing here?' thought Misato.

Ritsuko, on the other hand, seemed to understand what this little chain
of events was all about. "Will you be able to continue, Ma'am?" she asked,
although with little concern in her voice.

Yui was still a little shaky on her feet, but managed to reply. "I
think... I think... Yes. ...I can't believe I was so *stupid*!" Seeing the
confused expression on Misato's face, she explained, "The needle is only for
emergency episodes like that one. I'm supposed to take the same thing in
tablets when I'm expecting to encounter things that might bring up some of
the more uncomfortable secrets locked in my head. Unfortunately, like the
idiot I am, I forgot to take one today..."

"Turning to chemicals to run away from your problems? I must say... I'm
rather disappointed in you, Yui..."

"YOU!" she screamed out as she spun around, rage evident in all her
features.

"Hello, dear," called Gendo from the observation booth. "It's been a
long time, hasn't it?"

"What exactly is it you want, *Commander* *Ro-ko-bun-gi*?" asked Yui,
acid dripping from every word.

Only a few who knew him very well would have noticed the hardening of
Gendo's features. Fortunately for him, none of them were close enough to be
able to observe his face closely. "I have need of your services," he replied
in a supremely calm voice.

Yui laughed at that. "What's the matter? Haven't been getting any these
past few years? I thought you called me here for something *important*."

*That* managed to crack Gendo's stony visage. A minute later, he was
finally able to continue. "Your insolence serves no purpose. I see you have
been reaquainted with our lives' work; you will pilot it."

"I'll *what*?" shrieked Yui. "You saw what it did to me just to *look*
at it, and now you expect me it get in and operate it? You're out of your
excuse for a mind!"

"Of course I expect you to; you have no choice."

"The hell I don't!" she shouted, stamping her foot for emphasis.

"You are aware, then, of the consequences of your refusal?"

"Oh, resorting to threats, are we? What are these consequences, then?
Lifetime incarceration? Execution? Not a problem; I'd have no regrets save
that I never snapped your neck when I had the chance."

Gendo sighed. "It seems, then, that you do not remember the purpose of
our work here."

"Of course I don't! You should know that better than anyone, especially
because it's *your damn fault*!" Yui shouted at the top of her lungs, earning
a surprised and puzzled glance from Misato.

"Very well, I will explain it to you. We are under attack. What you see
before you is our most potent weapon. The blast that shook the Geo-Front was
the UN forces' attempt to stop the enemy with an N2 mine."

"An N2 mine?" gasped Yui, incredulous. "Then why are we standing here,
acting like the enemy still exists?"

"Because it still does. The blast did little more than stun it."

"It? They used an N2 mine on a *single* enemy? And it wasn't destroyed?
What kind of thing is this?"

"This," said Ritsuko, handing Yui a printout.

She took the black and white picture and stared at it for a minute.
Then, she burst out laughing. The thing looked to be several dozen stories
tall, was gangly in the arms and legs, but broad in the torso and shoulders,
had mostly dark skin, with some bone-like portrusions, an owl-like face
piece, and a sphere located in the center of the chest. "Oh, this is rich!
Really! You took this out of some Lovecraft wannabe comic book, didn't you?
And you honestly expect me to believe that this is some threat to this city?"

"It exists, Miss," interrupted Misato, softly. "I've seen it. What's
more, it's not just a threat to this city; it's a threat to all humanity."

Slowly, Yui sobered up, and turned to face her. "So you're serious
about all this, hunh? And how is it a threat to the whole earth? It doesn't
look like it can do much besides knock down a few buildings."

"This is one of the beings classified as an Angel. The first one
encountered by humanity caused the Second Impact. There's no telling what the
other ones are capable of."

"And how would you know that much about the Second Impact? I thought
all the records of the Kat.. suragi... Expedition..."

"I was there," whispered Misato. "And I suvived."

"Nngh!" Yui placed her hand against her forehead, as if to ward off the
pain.

'...incident believed to have been triggered...'

'...was found floating in...'

'...completely mute...'

Shaking her head, Yui turned back to face the Commander. "Ok, you've
convinced me that there's a threat here. But why this..." she gestured at the
head in front of her, "*thing*? And why me?"

"Conventional weapons cannot penetrate the enemy's AT Field. Only
another AT Field can be sucessful against it, and the Evangelions are the
only thing we have that can create them. As for you, it is because you can.
Very few are capable of controlling the Eva series, and you happen to be one
of them."

"Are you really expecting me to believe that's a coincidence? I don't
doubt for a second that you set it up that way." When Gendo did not reply,
she continued. "Absolutely not."

Gendo arched an eyebrow. "And why not?"

Yui glared at him. "Because you have another way, and I have no desire
to help you. Oh, don't look at me like that! You always left yourself a way
out, and I would be highly surprised to find you've changed at all! And
anyway, the Doctor here referred to me as the 'Third', so there must be a
First and Second, at least."

"Very well." He turned to the console beside him. "Fuyutsuki, send in
Rei." Yui glanced up, surprised, but said nothing. Gendo replied to something
said over the intercom. "She's not dead."

Yui recognized the name of her old professor and friend, wondering what
he was doing working here. The name Rei also seemed to stick in the back of
her head, although she could not place why. She was distracted be the creak
of an improperly oiled wheel as one of the doors opened to accommodate the
stretcher bearing this 'Rei'.

The figure was obviously female, extremly pale, and rather short. In
fact, as it came closer, Yui realized that Rei couldn't possibly even be out
of her teens. She was about to ask about this, when she noticed two things.
The first was the masses of bandages that covered her head, arm, and chest.
The second was her face.

'My God,' thought Yui, 'She looks just like I used to!'

"What the hell is this, Gendo?" she shouted. "You're using *children*
to pilot these things?"

"That is correct. They tend to have a greater... potential. In fact,
you are the only one over the age of 14."

"So you're saying that if I don't get in there, you'll send someone who
can barely walk, let alone do combat duty? And who's too young to be doing
this anyway?"

"In the defense of humanity, we cannot allow such considerations to
stand in our way. She knows her duty." He adressed the girl on the gurney.
"Rei, it seems you must pilot Unit-01. Will you?"

"Yes... Commander..." she gasped out.

"The hell you will!" shouted Yui.

The ceiling chose that moment to shatter. Debris rained everywhere. Yui
noticed a clump falling towards the stretcher, and leaped towards it, tearing
Rei off. She fully expected to feel the crushing pain of girders falling on
her back, but instead heard a loud clang as they impacted against something
metal, and another clang as they ricocheted against the walls. She looked up,
and was shocked to see a large purple hand above her. She glanced around, and
was disgusted to see that Gendo was completely safe behind reinforced
plexiglass several feet thick. Ritsuko was shouting something about
activating without power, but Yui didn't really care. She looked at the girl
in her arms, bleeding through the bandages, looking so much like she used to,
save for the differences in pigmentation. Gazing into those eyes, time
crawled to a standstill as she fell...

Yui looked up and saw the Rei looked up and saw the
doctors pick her up and lights and the water
cut her off from the Other (drip/flow) and Him standing
and everything was hard there smiling
and why? and why?

Faces, one after another Faces, one after another
Other (Mama) Other (Papa) Other (Him) Other (mother-of-all)
Brother Friend Boyfriend Soldier Technician Doctor
Lover Commander
what do they want? what do they want?

Lights everywhere Darkness everywhere
telling stories of what is concealing that which is
and what is should not be and telling of what must be


Falling Falling
Loss of sensation Loss of sensation
hands
pounding glass around neck
and falling
down
down
and

"All right!" she shouted. "I'll do it! I'll pilot your damned
monstrosity! But understand one thing, Gendo: I'm doing this for her, not
*you*!"

Gendo's smirk seemed to indicate that he'd gotten what he wanted
anyway. Disgusted, Yui stalked over to where Ritsuko was standing. "Ok, throw
me in there."

* * *

Yui cautiously let herself down onto the seat of the entry plug,
careful not to catch herself of the grips of the plug. She wore the A10
neural receptor clip they had given her over her hair, not having time to
undo the ball holding her hair back in order to secure the band underneath.
Once she had sat down, a restraint slid back to encircle her waist. The sound
of running water filtered in, somewhat muffled, as the liquid that the Eva
had been submerged in was drained. This was followed by a sudden jolt forward
and to the side, as the entry plug was inserted and locked into place. Yui
felt a wet sensation around her feet, and looked down to find a viscous
yellow liquid entering the tube, inexorably rising towards her head. She
spoke, activating the communications system. "Uhm, Dr. Akagi? Is this liquid
supposed to be filling the plug?"

"Yes, Ma'am," responded Ritsuko over the intercom. "The LCL will
facilitate your connection with the Eva."

Yui thought for a moment, while the LCL level continued to rise. "It's
oxygen rich, right? I mean, I hope this thing is more than an overelaborate
execution chamber."

Ritsuko sighed, annoyed by the pilot's paranoia. "Yes, it is. Just
relax; you're far too valuable to us right now for anyone to attempt to kill
you."

Grumbling about the "right now" part of that statement, Yui stuck her
head under the LCL, remembering to breathe instead of swallow. The feeling of
liquid filling her lungs was a bit of a shock, and the liquid had an odd,
slightly metallic taste to it. "I... ugh... don't suppose you put any
sweetener in this stuff, did you?"

Ignoring that comment, Ritsuko continued with her preperations. "Power
connected... initiating start up sequence. This may be a bit of a shock, Ms.
Ikari. Opening reciprocal circuits... First contact clear! A10 neural
synapses operating at marginally acceptable levels. Synch rate is... 34%. Not
bad for a first time."

Yui, meanwhile, had just found out what it was like to be synchronized
with an Evangelion. She had expected it to be a mental invasion of sorts,
replacing her body's sensory input, but instead it was more a feeling of...
duality. There was a vauge feeling of being rigid and restrained coming from
the unit, and yet she could still feel herself squirm in the chair.
Experimentally, she reached one hand over to touch her arm. Both her hand and
arm reported the contact, but at the same time, her arm also felt nothing
touching it. There was a sudden upsurge in nausea as she experienced sensory
contradiction, and fearing the possibility of vomit entering her lungs should
she continue, she jerked her hand away. There was a groaning noise from
outside, and the feeling of restraint on that arm increased.

"Please don't think about movement until your unit is freed from the
restraints," came Ritsuko's voice again. "We'd prefer that they be undamaged;
we're here to protect humanity, but we have to do it on a budget."

Yui simply nodded, still fascinated with the sensation of being in two
places at once, although she did idly wonder why all the restraints were
necessary. She listened, somewhat dazed, as Misato rattled off instructions
to those in charge of releasing the restraints, which were quite numerous.
With each restraint released, Yui felt a bit looser, but still could not move
her other self. There was a slight jerk, and Yui realized that she was moving
forward. She looked up, and noticed that she was up against a wall, with a
set of tracks running up a mammoth shaft toward the surface. Misato yelled
out "Launch!", and she had only an instant to brace herself for the g forces
that crushed her into her seat.

For what seemed like an eternity, she simply gritted her teeth, and
fought to keep the blood flowing, until she stopped with startling
abruptness. She heard a command to launch, and staggered forward, her limbs
suddenly feeling free. And looked ahead.

For some reason, that enemy (she saw from her displays that it was
designated an 'Angel', of all things) didn't look so hokey when you were
standing right in front of it.

For a second, the Angel simply stood there and stared at the Eva, as if
analyzing it. Ritsuko took the opportunity to give Yui a quick rundown on the
operation of an Evangelion. "Ok, here's how it works. Concentrate your
thoughts on the concept of the action you want to make; the Eva will
interpret those. The handgrips don't serve any real purpose, but studies have
shown that using them helps to concentrate the pilot's mind on an action;
feel free to use them if you want. And for heaven's sake, don't let that
cable attached to your back get cut! Without it, you only have five minutes
of power. Even more importantly, *don't* take off your headset. That will
cause immediate shutdown..."

Yui missed the rest of Dr. Akagi's instructions, as she frantically
tried to dodge out of the way of the Angel, which had finally seemed to
decide that she was a threat, and charged towards her. She tried to
backpedal, but the Eva didn't respond as quickly as a human body did. In the
resulting confusion, she fell over, crushing a small building underneath her.
The Angel attempted to smash in her chest with one of its strange three-
fingered hands, but, fortunately, she was able to roll onto the street, while
the Angel's fist drove into a pile of rubble. Yui managed to pull herself to
her feet, and tried to fight down an urge to dust herself off. "Uhm...
Doctor? I think I've gotten operation down as well as I can for the time
being. Any advice on, say, *the task at hand*?"

"Sorry," came Ritsuko's reply. "We simply don't have sufficient data
about the enemy. You'll have to improvise your own tactics."

"What she means, Yui," Misato interrupted, "is that your best bet for
attack is good old Ass-Kick Fu. Beat the ungodly crap out of it!"

Shaking her head (and trying not to cause the Eva to mimic her), Yui
pondered how they could call it both an 'Angel' and 'ungodly'. By now, it had
managed to pull its arm from the rubble, and turned to face her once more.
However, there was an odd glow in the eyes now. Yui, fearing what
capabilities this might indicate, dodged out of the way. Most of the
Evangelion made it out of the way. The left leg didn't. Yui noticed with an
almost detached calmness that the blast that came from the beast's eyes
spiked up, and had two portrusions, like a cross of some sort... and then the
pain caught up with her. The scream that she let out was almost as horrid to
the one she had released in the Eva's cage. The monitors in Central Dogma
showed that the left leg was now little more than a twisted, charred parody
of its former polished glory.

"Yui!" shouted Ritsuko. "You've got to detach yourself from the pain!
You aren't really feeling it!"

"Unh... easy... for you... to say," gasped Yui over the speaker. "I'd
say I'm... pretty sure I'm feeling i... NO!"

The Angel, seeing that Unit-01 was merely crippled and not destroyed,
moved in for a closer attack. Yui frantically tried to drive it back,
swinging her good leg at it, but it simply grabbed that leg, and flipped her
over, nearly twisting the leg out of its socket. She tried to right herself,
but the Angel raised its fist, and brought it down hard on the Eva's
backbone, severely denting the armor, and causing damage to whatever lay
beneath.

Back in the control room, Lt. Maya Ibuki's screen went red. "Sir! The
pilot has gone into neural shock from the pain! Her synch rate is dropping
like a rock! She no longer has any control over the Eva!"

While Misato and the bridge technicians below panicked, the Commander
and Sub-Commander of NERV were having a surprisingly calm discussion.

"She is not doing as well as I anticpated," stated Commander Ikari.

"I still question the practicality of sending someone of her age into a
combat situation," replied Fuyutsuki, Sub-Commander of NERV. "Much as she'd
probably hate to hear me say it, she's only a few years younger than you are;
that most likely means slightly atrophied reaction time."

"She has kept herself up quite well all these years; I would not have
sent for her otherwise," Gendo said with an air of certainty.

"I bet you'd know," chuckled Fuyutsuki. "I wonder how she'd like
knowing that you've been spying on her since the day she left here."

Gendo smiled slightly. "She would most likely fume for a time, and then
find some other way to run away from it, like she does from the rest of her
life. Are you planning on telling her?"

"Not at the moment. In the end, though, this whole conversation may be
for naught. It would be a shame to lose one of my best students and closest
friends."

Gendo harrumphed at that, but made no comment.

In the entry plug, the subject of their discussion was not much
inclined towards commenting, even if she could hear them. Only one thought
formed the core of her mind.

The pain.

The pain. The pain. The pain the pain the painthepainthepain...

The Angel, having incapacitated its opponent, had rolled her over onto
her back, and was now methodically ripping at and pounding on her
chestplates. Each blow made Yui twitch slightly in the plug, but her mind was
so overloaded that she took no notice. Eventually, the Angel seemed to grow
impatient, and picked the Eva up by the head. It then proceeded to bash the
head onto the ground, cracking the armor.

The technicians on the bridge frantically tried activating some of the
plug's life support systems, fearing that the trauma might have caused
cardiac arrest in the pilot. Suddenly, Maya shouted out.

"Dr. Akagi! We've lost partial contact! The damage to the brain case
has knocked out half of the data feeds from the plug, and we can't get a
reading on the unit's status!"

"That's not all!" included Hyuuga. "Just before we got cut off, there
was some sort of surge in the Eva's core systems! It seemed to be centered
around the Unit Data Core and the entry plug!"

* * *

Through the haze of the pain, a sound came to Yui.

Tears.

'It hurts make it stop it hurts it hurts it hurts make it stop stop
stop make it stop it hurts...'

Suddenly, everything was clear.

* * *

"The pilot! She has control again!" shouted Hyuuga.

On the main screen, the Eva rolled as it hit the ground once more,
grasping the Angel's spindly arm and flipping it. With a roar that snapped
the sealed mouth open, Unit-01 rolled onto its stomach, and pulled itself up
onto its arms and good leg. Suddenly it scampered forward in a disturbing and
decidedly unhuman manner, looking for all the world like a four-legged spider
with one atrophied limb. Reaching the once more upright Angel, it clambered
up its legs, and began to tear at the chest. The Angel frantically tore it
off the chest and threw it away. Unit-01 simply absorbed the fall, and rushed
the Angel again. This time, though, it ran into an orange colored wall,
composed of cocentric octagons.

"The Angel has fully activated its AT Field," commented the Sub-
Commander.

"Now, we see if our plan will reach fruition," replied Gendo.

Unit-01's eyes glowed with an unearthly light. A soft orange nimbus
surrounded the left leg, which began to convulse. The fused metal groaned as
some titanic pressure from within rapidly grew. After about ten seconds of
this, some of the metal parts snapped and flew off, revealing light brown
skin underneath, completely whole and free of charring. Now able to stand up,
the Eva charged towards its opponent.

"Sir!" interrupted Aoba. "Visual feed from the cockpit is restored! I'm
putting it on the main screen."

"My God..." breathed Misato, while Dr. Akagi and the others simply
stared.

On the screen, Yui Ikari thrashed about, seemingly having lost control
of her body to the throes of madness. Her limbs twitched spasmodically. She
screamed and bit at the LCL, a trail of saliva and froth coming from her
mouth floating in the orange liquid. Close by it, several trails of blood
trickled from where she had bit through her lips and tounge. Her eyes
followed no discernable pattern, not even bothering to point in the same
direction. And she babbled incoherantly. "Kill hurt kill kill... We're
here... it'll be alright... We're going to tear and rip and smash and kill
them all... isn't that right, Gendo *dear*?!" she shouted, while her Eva
began to claw at the AT field.

"Eva is deploying its own AT Field!" shouted Maya, while the Commander
smiled slightly behind his fingers.

"Phase variance neutralized!" added Aoba, as Unit-01 threw its fist
forward, passing through the center of the field. It wrenched its arm down,
and a large gash appeared, which it quickly crawled through. Upon clearing
the field, the Eva grabbed at one of the Angel's legs with both hands, and
pulled in opposite directions, shattering the internal support system,
leaving it hanging limply. The Angel began to pull itself away from the Eva,
trying to buy time to regenerate. Unit-01 marched after it, until it was
close enough to continue its mauling. The Angel grabbed at the arms of its
opponent, and charged up some sort of weapon generated in its arm, then drove
a spike of energy from each hand into Unit-01's wrists. The Evangelion did
not seem to notice, and pulled up a foot to the Angel's face, kicking it
away. It slammed ito a building at the end of the street, and lay there. Eva
charged forward, blood flowing freely from its arms, and drove its head into
the enemy's torso, the horn goring it straight through, blue fluid seeping
out. Unit-01 thrashed around, causing the horn to inflict serious injuries to
the interior of the Angel, while it clawed at the rest of the body, opening
even more wounds.

The eyes of the Angel flared for a moment, but a fist smashed right
through the mask that formed the Angel's face, aborting whatever it had been
attempting to do.

"The target has gone completely silent!" announced Hyuuga, raising a
cheer from the entire staff of NERV. Meanwhile, the Eva continued its
desecration of its enemy.

"Yui?" called Misato, using the entry plug's intercom. "Yui? It's over!
You can return to base now!"

"Kill it all!" came the deranged reply.

"Oh, dear..." breathed Ritsuko. Gathering her wits, she yelled out.
"Sever the power cable!"

"No good!" replied Hyuuga. "The Eva has switched to its backup power
supply! It's completely out of control! And the plug is refusing all signals
for termination!"

All sounds of triumph were quickly extinguished as Unit-01 turned its
attention from the flayed and scattered remains, and roared its defiance to
the night sky. Pulling itself up to its full height, it turned around, and
started advancing towards a cluster of buildings...

* * *

Yui Ikari woke to a scene of light and silence.

She stared at the ceiling. The light panel stared back at her with a
harsh, unblinking blue gaze. 'I hate this place already...' she thought.

And she returned to her slumber.

* * *

When she awoke once more, she realized that she was under heavy
restraint. Thick leather straps held down her arms and legs, and metal bars
were kept in place above her, in case the straps broke. Puzzled, she called
out for any attendants, but no one answered. Sighing, Yui settled down and
let her mind wander, feverently wishing she could scratch an itch that had
sprung up on her chin, or massage her sore wrists...

* * *

The third time, Yui was able to sit up. Looking around, she saw a dark
blur, which quickly resolved itself into the image of a relieved but nervous
Misato. "Mmmph... ugh... How... how long?"

"You've been under sedation for the past two days," Misato replied
softly. "Are you feeling well enough to move around?"

"I... Yes. At least, now that I'm *permitted* to..." Yui snapped in
return. "What was with all the restraints I was under? You'd think I was one
of Gendo's contraptions, the way they had me tied down."

Misato fidgited uncomfortably, and finally gave an answer that sounded
somewhat improvised to Yui. "We... were worried that you might have suffered
psychological damage during the fight, and had no idea what its effects might
be, so we... erred on the side of caution."

Yui grunted, obviously not convinced, but decided not to press the
issue. "So... what happens to me now?"

"Well, in the long run, we're expecting more of those things, so we
still need you as a pilot. You'll be permenantly attached to the Tokyo-3
branch, so travel not associated with NERV business is out of the question.
In the short run, you'll be staying at my place a few days, until we can find
you a more permanant residence. How does that sound?"

"It sounds exactly like my former husband keeping his cards close to
the chest like he always does. Let's go." With that, she pulled herself out
of bed, and went behind the curtain to change out of the hospital garments.
"Is Neutron okay?"

"He's fine; the garage where my car was parked was shaken a bit, but
nothing was damaged. I took him home, and I'm reasonably sure I've kept him
well fed since then. He'll be waiting for you when we get there, at any
rate."

"Not a moment to lose, then."

* * *

Once more, Misato found herself driving Yui Ikari past the outskirts of
Tokyo-3. As before, Yui wasn't the most loquatious of companions, and Misato
seemed to be nervous about bringing up any topics. Yui simply stared out the
window as they drove in silence on a long, roundabout trip past the city.
Suddenly, Yui wrinkled her eyebrows, and turned to ask Misato a question.
"Hey... where are we going? I thought you were supposed to live in the city,
close to headquarters. So what's with the scenic route?"

"Erm..." Misato searched for an acceptable answer. "Well... as I'm sure
you're aware, the city took a lot of damage during... during the fight. Not
only are they still rebuilding the transportation system, but my apartment
building took heavy damage from a tanker truck being knocked into it. It's
fairly low on the repair queue, so I've been assigned temporary quarters on
the other side of the city." She frowned at this, and glanced over at Yui,
but said nothing more.

Something about the explanation nagged at Yui, but she decided to
accept it for now. She resumed her silence until they completed their circle
of the city, and it returned to view. "My God..."

To put it mildly, the city was a wreck.

There were a half dozen blast craters, most likely from that strangely
shaped concussive blast created by the Angel. Around one of these, there was
an area of crushed buildings and overpasses that Yui recognized as the place
she had been fighting before she had lost conciousness. The rest of the
damage, however, was what truly made the scene horrifying. A wandering path
of destruction threaded through the city, leaving a trail that was impossible
to miss. Some of the city's tallest buildings seemed to have been ripped out
at the base, and thrown for some distance, smashing what they flew through,
and leaving huge gouges in the earth where they landed. Whole blocks had been
reduced to patches of rubble. Some of the more heavily armored buildings had
huge dents in their sides, as if they had been the victims of one of the
worst meteor storms the world had ever seen. And perhaps most groteusque of
all, the path coincided with a stream of copious quantities of red blood...

"Th... that blood... what...?"

Misato's face screwed up in distaste, but she still answered. "That...
most of that is from your Eva. It was damaged in the fight, and the
biological components leaked some of their chemical transport fluid... blood
by any other name, but there are some differences. The rest of it... the rest
is from where two of the shelters got hit."

"...Oh." Yui curled up in her seat, and asked no more questions.

* * *

The apartment complex they pulled up to was a small, single-level
building on the very outskirts of town. The brown plaster exterior walls were
beginning to peel, but other than that it seemed reasonably well maintained.

Misato fumbled with her keychain for a minute, looking for the correct
key. Opening the door, she indicated for Yui to enter.

The interior was quite spare, having obviously been furnished within
the past few days. A simple card table dominated the front room, with upended
wooden crates serving as chairs. A few empty ramen containers sat on the
table. At the far end of the room was a refrigerator, with duct tape holding
the strained door shut, and next to it, an oversize styrofoam icechest with a
few small holes poked in the top. A short hallway led to three doors,
presumably a bathroom and two bedrooms.

Yui, taking all this in, whistled. "Man, they don't pay you much, do
they?"

Misato winced. "Em... er... This is kinda temporary. My old building
was wrecked when a tanker truck got thrown into the side of it, remember?"
*Literally,* she recalled, but pushed those thoughts aside. "Fortunately,
this place was empty, and I had a little money saved for a rainy day.
Still... no, they don't pay me that much." *And less soon...*

Yui picked up her bags and Neutron's cage, and headed for the hall.
"Which should I use?"

"The door on the left. The middle is the bathroom, feel free to wash
up. Sorry I can't offer you a full bath, but..."

"Thanks anyway. See you in a bit."

* * *

By the time Yui had finished drying off and dressing, Misato had
settled in for dinner. When she left the bathroom, Yui was treated to the
curious sight of a grown woman toasting with a... penguin? The bird appeared
comfortable in the room temperature, and by all indications was intelligent
enough to understand its current activity of chugging down a can of...
something. Heading over to the fridge, she pulled off the tape, and warily
inched the door open. She blinked. The fridge was full. To the point of
bursting. With nothing but Beer. Carefully, she withdrew a can, closed and
resealed the door, and sat to join her new roommates. "A hot springs
penguin?" she asked, opening the can.

"Yup. He's been my pet for a few years, ever since I saved him from
being put to sleep after the biologists were done doing whatever it is they
do. KANPAI!" she shouted, chugging down another beer.

"Kanpai!" Yui replied, though not with the same... enthusiasim. She
started drinking, then turned thoughtful. "So... what does it mean to be a
NERV conscript?"

Misato blinked. "Conscript?" She thought, then nodded. "I suppose.
Well, as an Evangelion pilot... I've already told you about the travel
restrictions... You'll have to always be in contact with Central, in case of
emergencies. Are you trained in firearms?" At Yui's nod, Misato continued.
"In that case, I'll need to take you to the armory. We're soldiers, so we
have to be armed at all times, even you. On a more regular basis, we'll need
to call you in for synchronization and harmonics tests regularly, as well as
whatever experiments Rits' division calls for. You'll be under constant
surveillance for your protection. Other than that, I guess you're free to go
about the buisiness of living. Oh, I'm afraid the job doesn't come with any
legal protection; if you break the law, they'll pull you out of jail when
they need you, and throw you back when you're done. Oh, and one more
thing..."

Yui grinned. "The pay sucks, eh?"

"'Fraid so."

* * *

After a few more rounds, Yui excused herself and staggered off to bed.
Pen-Pen opened the icebox, climbed in, and closed it over him. Misato had sat
there for a while, her mind blank, until the telephone rang.

"Hello? Yeah, it's me. No, no problems. She seems okay. Nice to finally
meet someone else who appreciates a good drink, even if she could improve her
endurance... You think it could affect her piloting in the long run? Fine,
fine... It's *your* idea, so *you* tell her. I have to live with her for now,
so *I'm* not going to be the one to break *that* news to her..." A long
pause. She gave a long, low whistle. "*That's* the final damage tally? Good
God... We are in for a tight fiscal yea... They *what?* You mean near-
subsistence-level salaries!? *That* emergency financial plan? Aieee.... If
this weren't the most important job I could possibly do in my life, I would
be packing as we speak... Yeah, I suppose so, but I really don't blame her.
What was she supposed to do? Wave a wand and make it dance like a marionette,
and obey orders like a good little soldier? We're dealing with people here,
and we understand them about as well as we do the Evas, if that well... Yeah,
she makes me a bit nervous, too. But do we really have a choice? I don't see
why you seem to dislike her so much. You were perfectly polite when you were
talking to her... Whatever. So, what's the agenda for her? Mmmhmm...
Mmmhmm... Well, I guess it's up to me to see that she actually manages to fit
in here... Yeah, you too. G'night, Rits." *click*

"Hunh..."

* * *

Neutron scampered out of the way as Misato opened the door to Yui's
room. His owner was sprawled out on her futon, her face half-buried in her
pillow. "Mgbrhle..."

Misato surveyed the contents of the room, noting how carelessly they
were arranged, except for one. Next to the head of Yui's futon was a small
picture frame. Misato picked it up, and held it to the light.

The picture was torn, apparently to remove whoever had been standing on
the left. Misato wondered who, until she looked at the rest of the picture.
Yui sat on the right, looking a bit younger, with a small, content smile on
her face. In her arms she held...

For some reason, the child in Yui's arms seemed so... familiar.

The missing person must have been her husband, then. Misato had never
heard anyone mention the commander having a son. But if Yui was here, then
where was... Perhaps that explained some of the bitterness. Her son, lost at
an early age. But why would she blame her husband? And how could that have
caused her to become the walking time bomb that she was?

Well, those were questions for another day. Misato replaced the frame,
and walked over to the door, stopping and shaking her head sadly before she
left, closing the door behind her.

Yui tossed and turned in her sleep, bringing her face out of the
pillow.

"...ill... them... ...em... all..."

Neutron, unconcerned by her mutterings, began to stalk along the walls.

* Fin *

Ending theme: Rat Patrol (Dial-a-Song Version) (They Might Be Giants' Dial-A-
Song service)

Notes:

Gendo and Yui Ikari never officially divorced. Yui simply does not like to be
referred to as "Mrs.", and calls Gendo "Rokobungi" to get on his nerves.

What's up with Misato's new necklace? Read more Coleridge, illiterate
heathen! ^_^

Author's thoughts:

Neon Genesis Evangelion was, among many other things, the story about a boy's
feelings for his lost mother.

This story is about a mother's feelings for her lost son.

A few things prompted this story. First, after watching "The Birth of NERV",
I wondered whether what kind of plug suit Yui used in the test where she
dissapeared. This led to a mental picture of Yui in a plug suit, as well as
Yui meeting Rei.

Yui Ikari, Evangelion Pilot, was born.

Second, looking through Eva fanfics with Yui in them, I found that there were
about two characterisations for her, not counting bizarre alternate universes
like "Garden of Eva"; she was either a beatific mother figure, or, in a few
cases, Gendo with breasts... BAD THOUGHT! *Wham! Wham! Wham!* Ok, that's
better... This, I think, doesn't do full justice to a character from a series
filled with such complex characterisations.

Anywho, being the contrarian type that I am, I determined to have a different
Yui. So, here she is, in all her frayed, neurotic glory. Since the original
series revolved around Shinji, Yui will have center stage, although I'll try
to spend more time on developing secondary characters than the series did,
especially Rei.

Anywho, all C&C would be greatly appreciated, since this is the first fanfic
I've released. Any thoughts are welcome, especially on whether you consider
Yui an ACC. Anything else, even flames, are happily accepted. My Inbox is
empty! Wah! E-mail is Katfum@tmbg.org.

And if the pacing seems a bit fast... all I can say is I'm still trying to
get the hang of this as I go, and I'm not particularly accustomed to massive
verbosity. Hence, the ideas end up being executed with fewer words.