Note: No, I don't hate the Avengers

Note: No, I don't hate the Avengers. But they aren't better than the X-Men. Some lines Marvel wrote for the Avengers were just as weird as some they did for the X-Men. There we see how they are all Marvel creatures :-)

Verse: General, very general verse. No specific era. So, no Thunderbolts for Hawkeye, no Onslaught for anyone. Late 70's Avengers-like. Get my drift? Cool.

*...* are communications over channels.

******

Storm glared at the man in front of her, in the middle of the nightly sky. That helmet with feather wings, and, most of all, this hammer in his hand didn't leave much mystery in Storm's mind. That guy was Thor, one of the Avengers. The one Iron Man meant was to meet with them. The one she didn't really want to meet... ever.

If she had known THAT Avengers was on the mission, Storm would have stayed in the BlackBird. Hey, even knitting a scarf or something would have been a thrill for her. Now what, goddess to god, she had to stand her ground.

"Stay where you are," warned Storm.

"By Sif's Hair, Odin's Son will not obey you, mortal," he shouted back.

*******

Back at the Quinjet, down below.

Captain America grabbed Wolverine and hauled him in the Quinjet. Hopefully, the life support system wasn't damaged, so it was warm inside.

"Wolverine is quite heavy," remarked Cap.

"Yeah, right. He IS heavy. You have NOOOOOOOO idea how many times I heard that line, so could you, like, try and find something more original?" spat Jubilee, doing her best at dragging Cyclops to the craft.

Jubilee looked around, looking for something. "Hey, where's your side-kick? You think he could stop admiring himself in a glass and give us a hand?"

"Hawkeye is trying to fix the computers," explained Cap just as he finally succeeded at carrying Wolverine inside.

"Well, so. Tell him he can quit. As soon as Wolvie's back, we'll get you back with us." She dropped Cyclops inside, and sprawled by his side, exhausted.

"For C-sake, Steve, will you shut that damn door?" came the voice from the cockpit.

"Yeah, what he says," concured Jubilee.

Just as Cap closed the Quinjet's door, Hawkeye joined them in the back of the craft.

"Hey, Steve, I don't think abducting X-Men is the best idea on earth," he grinned. "Especially Wolverine..." He then noticed Jubilee and kneeled by her side. "Hey kid, you ok?"

Jubilee blankly looked at the archer for a seconde. Did he just asked her how she was doing? She stared at Captain America and her mind played back the previous minutes. Hey, that FlagMan didn't even ask her how she was doing. She looked back at Hawkeye.

"Yeah, absolutly perrrrrrrrfect. My feet are like popsicles and if I don't catch pneumonia I'll say I'm lucky," she whined. "But Wolvie and Scott..." her voice trailed off as she looked at her team-mates' prone bodies.

"They'll be fine. We'll take care of them." He smiled at her. "And you know what? We got an emergency kit in here..."

"What a great idea. I would never have thought to have one..." she paused. "... in an AIRCRAFT! You guys get more original along the line, or are you just, like, plain amateurs?" she spat back.

"Hey, cool it, babe. What I was saying, is that in this kit... there's a bottle of... well, something Mathusalah here," he pointed at Captain America, "wouldn't touch with a ten-feet pole."

Hawkeye stood and came back with the said emergency-kit.

"Here," he handed her a bottle labelled Yukon Jack. "I always have one around. Not that I'm a drinker..."

"You can't even hold it," remarked Captain America.

"Yeah, at least, I try," came as the reply. "When they get all stuck up in their little incestous-like stories," whispered Hawkeye for Jubilee's ears only.

"Yeah, they're so weird..." she started.

"What?"

"Nothing. We have that too, y'know."

"Guesso."

Jubilee grabbed the bottle and opened it, wriggling her nose at the alcoholic fumes that reached her. "Wow. That's... that's..."

"That will be perfect for you friends. Especially for Wolvie," laughed Hawkeye.

Jubilee laughed too. "Yeah, I guess just the scent of that stuff will, like, make him all fresh and new! Let's try it."

"Very funny, Hawk. How are you doing with the computers?" asked Captain America.

"Got the communications back on line. But I cannot reach the Headquarters. Let's try something else." He stood. "You'll be ok, Jubilee?"

"Yeah, I'm not going out, if it's that bothering you," grinned the teenager.

Minutes later, in the Quinjet's cockpit.

"Was it Thor's voice I heard?" asked Captain America as he and Hawkeye were working on the communication computer.

"Yup, looked like ol' Goldielocks t'me," replied Hawkeye.

"Goldielocks!!! AHAHAHA!" laughed Jubilee, joining the Avengers in the cockpit.

"Hawkeye has a way to..." started to explain Captain America.

Jubilee sat on the floor, between the pilot and co-pilot seats. "Hey, no problem, Steve. I kinda like it. And," she paused, "well, if I had to hear the Avengers' story, I'd rather have HIM tell it. Ok, he's a jerk and all, womanizer and stuff, but at least he..."

"What are you talking about?" wondered Cap.

But at this point, the communication computer relayed an interesting – well, maybe – conversation between a certain Weather Goddess and a certain Thunder God.

**The X-Men came here to help your friends** came in as Storm's voice.

*******

Back up in the sky.

"The X-Men came here to help your friends," explained Storm.

"By Heimdal's Bridge, Odin's Son's friends do not need thy help, mortal," hammered Thor.

Storm grinned. HE, a God? Huh! Maybe he could do tricky things with his hammer about the thunder, but SHE could do whatever she wanted with EVERY weather elements. He was in for a lesson. An overdue lesson.

Storm summoned the snow around Thor, just enough to make him realize just with whom he was dealing with: the Weather Goddess.

But Thor reacted fast, and using his hammer called back the thunder, chasing the snowstorm away.

"I do not wish to fight you," lied Storm. YES, she wanted to fight him, but over all, she wanted him to beat the dust! She also made a counscious point to NOT call him by his name. No need to add to his overflatted pride.

"Nor do the Son of Odin wants to fight you, mortal female," yelled back Thor.

******

Back in the Quinjet's cockpit.

** Nor do the Son of Odin wants to fight you, mortal female** boomed Thor's voice over the channel.

"He's, like, dead. Who would like, fight Storm? Hey, she's the Weather Goddess. Don't you guys know it?" joked Jubilee.

"Jubes... what are ye doin' here?" asked a low voice behind her.

She jumped and faced a rather groggy Wolverine. "Wolvie!!!!!!!!!!!" She hugged him. "I was, like, a bit scared, y'know..." She paused. "Ack! You smell like... hey, you drank how much?" she asked.

"Dunno, and don't care. So... hey, Cap." Wolverine looked at the archer. "Hey, hooker," he greeted him.

"Hey yourself, ground-squirrel. Back from fairies' land already?" replied the archer.

"I'll...." snarled Wolverine.

"No!" yelled Jubilee. "No killing, ok? Now, sit down. SIT! We've just got Storm and Thor on the channel... you guys have it recorded, hey? Ok, now... let's get back to the soap..." commanded the teenager.

********

Back, up in the sky, featuring the ongoing confrontation between Storm and Thor.

"Nor do the Son of Odin wants to fight you, mortal female," yelled back Thor.

Mortal female? Storm was getting pissed off by the seconde. A female, yup. A mortal, yup. But the way this guy used the words made her real angry. Storm summoned the artic winds on him.

"By Idunn's Golden Apples, Odin's Son cannot allow you, mortal, to refrain him in his attempt to save his friends," shouted Thor. On that, a lightning nearly missed Storm.

"Golden Apples?" wondered Storm. "What are you talking about?"

"By Tyr's Hand, you mortal don't know Idunn?" asked Thor, intrigued by that mortal, interested in his god-lore.

"Hold it!" yelled Storm. "I got as far as Odin, Balder, Sif, Heimdal, Idunn and now, Tyr. Are you here to decline your pedigree or what?" Storm flew over him. "Or you do win over your opponents by boring them to death with your family history?"

Thor got furious. He threw his hammer at Storm. She easily avoided it.

"By...." he started. "By... huh...."

"Have a problem?" asked Storm.

"No. Odin's Son has no problem." But he flew toward Storm. "Gimme a chance, will ye?" he whispered to her.

He hurriedly grabbed a booklet from his waistcoat and rummaged in it for a seconde. "Ok. I found one..." he whispered to himself before he flew away from Storm.

"By Fenrir's Teeth, I summon you..." he boomed.

"Hey, Son of Odin. Isn't it Fenrir the son of your mortal ennemy, Loki?" laughed Storm. "You might want to find another bio in that book of yours..."

Storm definatly enjoyed meeting that Thor, after all. She always secretly thought that he was a moron. She wasn't deceived.

"By Frey's..... huh.... you know what, mortal."

"Know what? That Frey is the god of fertility. So, by Frey's what?" laughed Storm, having a ball up there.

"By Frey's... huh.... you know... huh... fertility appendice! Behold, mortal! The Son..." he replied.

"Yes, yes, I know. The Son of Odin, yada yada yada."

"Do not make fun of the Son of Odin!" warned Thor.

"Make me," replied Storm, happy that for once, she could use some of Wolverine's favorite quote.

(To be continued, if you folks want me to)