Note: No, I don't hate the Avengers. But they aren't better than the X-Men. Some lines Marvel wrote for the Avengers were just as weird as some they did for the X-Men. There we see how they are all Marvel creatures :-)
Verse: General, very general verse. No specific era. So, no Thunderbolts for Hawkeye, no Onslaught for anyone. Late 70's Avengers-like. Get my drift? Cool.
*...* are communications over channels.
******
Down below, back in the Quinjet.
Jubilee sits in the cockpit between Hawkeye and Captain America, respectively on the pilot and co-pilot's seats. Wolverine is somewhere behind her, sobbering up from the *medicine* provided by the archer.
"Hawkeye, try to establish a communication with Thor, or Storm," ordered Cap, worry that something bad could happen between the deities up there.
"Already tried, Cap."
"Cool!" cut in Jubilee. "Lets see who's gonna win. I sure bet for Storm," cheered the teenager.
"If he touches one hair on Storm's head, I'll..." growled Wolverine.
"Yes, yes. Ok, we know, you'll slice n' dice him," cut Jubilee. She looked at Hawkeye. "Any chance you got popcorn in this emergency kit of yours? Or Jolt, something?"
"Nope. Next time, send your order before..."
But the Avenger didn't have time to finish, as a red laser-beam hit the computers. Hopefully, he nearly missed and there didn't seem to be much damage.
"X-Men!!!!! X-Women, too!!! We're under a tact.... attack" yelled Cyclops behind Jubilee. He waved an empty bottle with the label Yukon Jack on it.
"I'll kill 'em!!" joined Wolverine.
Cap instinctively used his shield to protect him and Hawkeye from the laser-beams.
"Cyclops!" yelled Jubilee, her hands in front of her, ready to knock him off if necessary. "Get a grip! This is the Avengers, not our ennemies!" she tried to reason him.
"A venger? What are you takling... er talking about?" babbled Scott.
"Avengers! You know, Captain America, Iron Man and the others?" tried Jubilee once again.
"You mean... oh, the... THE Avengers!" realization hit a groggy Scott.
"Yes! So now, sit down and stop trying to fry them alive, kay?"
Cyclops slumped heavily on the floor, facing Wolverine. "Heyhey. The Avengers.... naw, I'm not sacred... er, scared of 'em."
Hawkeye and Cap got their attention back to the computers, but kept an ear on the two drunk guys.
"I'm not scared of anyone, bub," concurred Wolverine.
"THE Mighty Avengers.... ah! Even if they a tact... attack with that mellow... yellow StraightJacket guy..." continued Scott.
"Who's afraid of a man called AntMan?" wondered Wolverine.
"Yeah... their names are sooooooooo stupid! Take that sicko Red Bitch..."
"Wouldn't take her any way, man," laughed Wolverine.
Now THAT got Hawkeye and Cap's attention. Were these drunk X-Men laughing at their team-mates? Jubilee noticed the increasing dirty looks the Avengers gave to the X-Men.
She kicked her team-mates on the shoulder (getting a bruise for doing so to Wolverine). "Can it, guys. NOW is not a good time..."
"Jingle Bells... Jingle Bells..." started Cyclops.
"I hold you responsible for everything, Hawkeye," came from Cap as an omen.
"Hey, not my fault..." protested the archer.
"Yes, it is. You brought that alcohol onboard. You gave it to them. YOU are responsible. And if I were you, I would deal with both the computers AND the X-Men," came the sharp reply.
"They'll sleep in a few..."
But the sound of someone throwing up, then the odor, made a bad situation turn into hell.
"Ack!" yelled Jubilee. "He belched all over his lap! I'm outta here!"
"You ralph like a man, Slim," approvingly commented Logan. "Cajun's dinner... what was it tonite... gumbo? Smells like t'me..."
"HUSH, Wolvie! We're going to suffocate in here. We need fresh air or I swear I'll, like, die!!!" shouted Jubilee as she walked over Cyclops to find a non-air-contamined aread in the back of the Quinjet.
********
* We're going to suffocate in here. We need fresh air or I swear I'll, like, die* came Jubilee's voice over Storm's comlink.
"By.... by..." Thor renounced to find another family member of his to use in a sentence. "Oh, heck. Who's that?" asked Thor, stopping short at throwing his hammer at that Goddess.
Actually, she wasn't bad for a... mortal. Not bad at all. She was a good fighter and Thor could appreciate it. She had nice long hair, a perfect skin complexion, sexy lips... a pair of huge....
"This is my team-mate. The X-Men are in trouble. I must help them," announced Storm as she dove down to the ground.
But as she headed for the ground, a huge hand grabbed her by the wrist.
"I will help you," he proposed.
"Huh! By who's name?" she ironized.
"By mine, lady Storm." And he smiled at her.
She looked at the man. Hrm. Thor wasn't bad looking at all. Ok, she briefly thought, he could use another designer for his uniform. Viking stuff wasn't very fashionable nowadays. But these eyes, sooooo blue, just like the brightest of summer sky.... Ok, he might not be the smartest guy on Earth. How could she blame him, since he wasn't from Earth, litterally. So muscular.... hrm.... long, blond hair.... For a second there, she even wondered if he could use something else as well as he did with his hammer...... Hammer. Hammer.
She shook her head back to reality. "I accept your offer.... Thor."
*******
Back down in the Quinjet.
"Jubilee, don't open that door!" ordered Cap.
"And why not? Look, I have two choices here, and so do you. First, get suffocated, thanks to Slim..."
"Slim. Hey, that's me... I don't feel good.... gonna be sick..." grumbled Cyclops, effectively throwing up some more gumbo.
"Two..."
"Secondly," corrected Scott, still that stuck-up guy even if booze-busted and throwing up on himself.
"Secondly, get instantly frozen to death. I dunno for you, Mighty AVENGERS, but I prefer a quick and instant death..." ranted Jubilee.
"Don't listen t'her," babbled Wolverine, not totally sobered up.
Captain America ignored Logan's comment and moved closer to Jubilee. "Don't be scared, Jubilee. I promise you, no one will die."
Jubilee stared at him. "What? OF COURSE I know I won't die! Who do you think I am? A stupid kid or what? I just want to open that damn door for a second!" spat the teenager.
********
Out there, back to the deities.
"I propose that you open the door. Then I'll send fresh air in the Quinjet. I hope we are not to late to save them," said Storm.
"I will do as you wish, lady Storm. You, mortal..." he started, but Storm's whitening eyes stoped him. "I mean. For a mortal, you are..." he stumbled on his words.
"I am what?" wondered Storm, still floating in front of him.
"You are.... Words are innapropriate to convey my thoughts."
"Try some?" Storm really liked him more by the second. Hrm. What was on his mind? She sure knew what was on HERS.
"Even the most beautiful colors of Bifrost could not replace your sight, lady Storm. The Son of..."
"Hey, no son of anyone," warned Storm.
"Ok. *I* say you are the most beautiful person I ever laid eyes on," he finally finished.
Storm smiled widely. Maybe he would think about laying something else on her?
"You are quite handome yourself, Mister Thor," she teased.
"Shall we help our friends? Then..." he suggested.
"Yes. Then... I mean, YES, our friends."
*****
Thor grabbed the handle and tore the door away. Storm summoned the winds (forgeting to select which winds, since her mind was totally focused on the muscles rippling on Thor's godily body).
"I didn't touch anything!" shouted Jubilee as the door disappeared in front of her.
Then the arctic winds threw her against the wall behind.
"Arctic winds?" asked Thor.
By the time Storm realized her mistake, the five occupants of the Quinjet were on the verge of being frozen to death.
She hurridly summoned the warmest wind around.
Wolverine, Cyclops, Jubilee, Hawkeye and Captain America were transported to the BlackBird by both deities.
*******
*We will reach the Mansion in approximatly 5 minutes, Jean*
*Does anyone need medical attention?*
Storm looked back at the passengers. Captain America was hugging his shield, Hawkeye his bow. Wolverine was hugging Jubilee.
No one wanted to hug Scott, no wonder with that awfull smell.
*I think Scott will need it* announed Storm.
*How is he?* asked a worried Jean over the channel.
*Our Fearless Leader will make it. But he will need a stomach wash* answered Storm.
Thor smiled at her. The Weather Goddess was also a very good pilot. She smiled back at him. He dared to put his hand on her knee.
"Hey, by Odin's Hammer, keep that hand away!" laughed Storm. But she pushed the engines to their limits to get back home faster. For the *then* part.
*Storm? You ok?*
Ororo blushed.
*I am in good hands, do not worry*
******
Well, that wraps it up. I dunno, I had to finish it one way or another. Hope you liked it. Thanks for the reviews, I really do appreciate them.
