A cat with 9 lives?
By Vincent Loneheart



Should we kill off Relena?
How can we kill off Relena?
More to the point, would it be fun to kill Relena?
Would be more fun to kill her 9 different ways?

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Relena: HEEEEEEEEERRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Heero: Mission accepted.

Heero draws Wing Zero's mighty beam saber and slashes at Relena. Because of the intensity of the heat emitted from the blade, Relena vaporizes instantly.

*Hehe, I was trying to think of something better Warstar, but I have been giggling spontaneously for days because of you!!!!*
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Relena: TTRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Trowa: ///_- .....................

Heavy arms unloads a full magazine of gatling gun ammo into Relena, and before she hits the ground, it slices her with the arm knife.

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Relena: DDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Duo: Huh? Wha...!? HILDE!?!?

Hilde: Don't be messing with my man!!!

Hilde flies our in her former OZ Specials mobile suit, picks Relena up and carries her into to space, where she obviously has no oxygen, thus making her head explode. The rest of her body floats there for eternity.

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Relena: QQUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Quatre: We should be fighting each other! So...I'll just be ending this now then.

Sandrock swoops down with it's twin scythes and slices Relena across the neck and across the stomach, cutting her into three little bitty pieces.

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Relena: WWUUUUUUUUUUUUFFFFEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wufei: WEAK ONNA!!!

Nataku's dragon claws extend and rip Relena's head off.

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Relena: MIIIIILLLLLIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAARRRRDDDDOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Zechs: Many deaths are meaningless....but this one probably won't be!

Epyon flies past Relena and draws her with its heat rod.

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Relena: Brother!!! You killed me!?!?!

Zechs: Ummm....it wasn't me...it was the Epyon's fault....

Relena: Yeah right!

Zechs: No honestly! It's this damn ZERO system...*turns on and goes crazy* MWA HA HA HA HA!!

Epyon stomps on Relena's head, crushing her like a bug.

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Relena: MOOOOOOBBBIIIIIIIILLLEE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLL!!!!!!!

Mobile Doll: blinks

Mobile Doll latches on to Relena and self-detonates.

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Relena: DDDDOOOOOOOORRRRROOOOOOTTTHHHHHYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

Dorothy: What?

Relena: Huh? I thought you were supposed to kill me....

Dorothy: No, that's just the guys that do that...*I* wouldn't kill you!

Dorothy orders Libra to fie it's cannon, which obliterates Relena.

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Dorothy: LLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNEEHEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRTTT!!!!!!

VLoneheart: Yeah?

Dorothy: Now that she's gone, what say you we go get a motel room? winks

VLoneheart: Umm....ahh...I can't...I have a prior engagement...hugs Tallgeese Besides, Akai Ku would never forgive me for doing that!

Dorothy: You're leaving me for a large piece of titanium alloy and a hack comedic authoress!?!?

VLoneheart: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HACK!?!?!?

Vincent Loneheart gets into the Tallgeese and blasts Dorothy away with the Dober cannon.

VLoneheart: Mission accomplished.