Kel

Hiya again! I *am* working on Hanging On, it's half done (you people have the patience of saints) but in the meantime, some more fun :-) If you have any of these you'd like sticking up on here, put them in your review and I'll put them in the next part, with all credit to you, of course! Thanks to all the truly fabulous people who reviewed ::beams:: I wasn't expecting anyone to read these so hey! I'm glad y'all liked.

Please don't take offence; I'm only having a bit of fun.

Things You Would Never Catch Tamora Pierce Characters Saying II: The Author Strikes Back!

Kel

  1. Oh no, did I really throw up on Garvey from the top of that mountain? I feel *so* horrified.
  2. Joren, you sexy beast!
  3. My secret benefactor? I forged the notes myself and made the money doing embroidery at night.
  4. Lord Wyldon is my role model. I too want to be a chauvinistic prejudiced bald man.
  5. A fearsome clifftop battle with almost certain potential of extra kudos and conquering of my great fear, not to mention saving the day and earning the admiration of everyone present? But it's that time of the month!

Neal.

  1. Yo, wassuuuuuuup!
  2. I can't actually read, but it's a great girl-puller.
  3. My true calling in life is to be a WWF wrestler.
  4. I only went to University for the booze.
  5. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day, thou—I'm talking to a wall? Damn hormones!

Ralon

  1. Kissing pigs? Just call me Kermit.
  2. Maybe having a distinctive set of acid burns *was* just asking to be identified and killed...
  3. I was born Rowena.
  4. Emotionally repressed – physically possessed.
  5. Just because I want everyone to be my personal slave doesn't mean I'm a *bad* person.

Numair

  1. $5 an hour for kids' parties.
  2. Supreme Sorcerer™ - batteries and respect for age gaps not included.
  3. I'm only a black robe because it doesn't show stains.
  4. That hawk thing? It's remote-control operated, but it looks impressive as hell.
  5. I'm actually Roger of Conte. This is just a latex mask. Bet you didn't see *that* one coming!

Contributed by the lovely Sy-Dra:

Nealan:

Love sucks. I'm gonna be a priest.

Uline, I am through with this! Do you realize I'm the one who's been writing you terrible soppy poetry? I just can't believe you've been this blind...I can't take it any more!!

Josiane:

Do you think this dress makes me look slutty, Delia?

Alanna:

Roger, you sexy little sorcerer, you! I just love the whole dark duke get-up!

Numair:

Daine, I do not love you. and the baby I carry? It is Antonio's! I'm leaving you for Kally. goodbye, Daine.