Hey, thanks to
everyone who commented and suggested :-) Love y'all, you're great! Here is the
next (albeit late!) instalment.
Please don't take
offence, I'm only having a bit of fun.
Things You Would Never Catch Tamora Pierce
Characters Saying III: I know what you did last chapter
Thom:
- And you thought David Copperfield was
good.
- Wizard, qualified, seeks home.
Requires large space, preferably near convenient cemetery, with fireproof
floor. Will provide own heating. May disrupt fabric of reality
occasionally.
- I wonder what happens if I push this
large metaphorical button marked 'mass destruction'...
- No, dammit Liam, I do *not* want your
number, Alanna is over *there*.
- I may be incredibly stupid, but my
shield designs are pretty damn nifty.
Daine:
- My father is actually Rolf Harris
- All those talking animals? I hired the
Muppets.
- God, I love psychotic men in black
eyeliner.
- Screw you, Numair! Oh wait…I am.
- Oh look, a kraken! Aw...it's so
cute...look at it's ickle mile long tentacles...can I keep him?
Alanna:
- Oh go on, Jonathan, *please* let me be
your slave for a night...*please*
- Lapdancing here.
- Where's my Wonderbra? How can I fight
without it?
- The secret to attracting devilishly
handsome and powerful men? Emotional retardation, a big sword, and a good
slay.
- I cook a mean sponge cake.
Lord Wyldon:
1. I cross-dress at weekends.
2. Prejudiced, cruel, bald and arrogant...but
I have my bad points too.
3. I stalk in my spare time.
4. Girls? As squires? Count me in! And let's
give them the vote while we're there!
5. I ride around with a big lance to make up
for other deficits.
Kaddar:
- The dinosaurs did *what* on my carpet?
- What do you mean someone's trying to
kill me?
- I gobble when I eat.
- Despite appearing to be a complete
idiot, if you kill my uncle and put me next in line to the throne, I
suddenly turn into the King everyone dreams of.
- Max factor: the make-up of emperors.
By A Nonny Mouse:
Thom:
You know, I'm
actually just depressed, that's why I continually put people in danger and
raise the dead, why does everyone say I did it for Delia
By Jaelawyn:
Alanna:
Roger - you HOTT
Sexy bastard! Come here and ravage me!
Roger:
I Didn't really
want to kill Squire Alan. In Truth - I wanted to love him - Yes... I am a
bisexual.
Hello. My name is
Roger. I have a problem. I want to destroy the world because no one will have
sex with me
By umm...
Joren: Why was I
mean to you, Kel? Well...You see *blush* I'm actually a girl in disguise...I
admire you, Kel!
Daine: Do I talk
to animals? Nooo...Why does it seem that way? PIXIE STICKS! POWER TO THE PIXIE
STICKS! Pixie sticks set me free! They let me behold the power of Sugar! What
about the animals you ask? You think I can talk to them? Noo...They're pixie
sticks in disguise! PIXIE STICKKKSSSS!!!
By Laurie:
Alanna: Jonathan,
I'm so sorry, I never should have gotten into a fight with you, please forgive
me!
By Lady faToren:
Lalasa: Hey Neal,
lookin sexy, gimme a kiss?
