Things You Would Never Catch Tamora Pierce Characters Saying 5:

Yes, it's that time of month when the authors of FF-Net take pot-shots at Tamora Pierce's characters again :-) May y'all enjoy!

I *know*. Hanging On is not up...I *am* working on it, please be patient – my exams have begun, and I am one stressed halfwit right now. :-) Thank y'all.

Disclaimer: All of this is harmless fun, just taking a break from the normal world – to those of you who have exams coming up, be they GCSEs (I went through that hell last year), AS-Levels, A-Levels, Degree 'xams, end-of-years...good luck to y'all. If you have a problem with this piece of extracting-of-the-Michael...please take it up with me as this is (technically) my fault. Otherwise, I hope it makes you laugh.

Things You Would Never Catch Tamora Pierce Characters Saying 5: Wry Kids

Tkaa

  1. My low, whispery voice is great for obscene phone calls.
  2. Just call me Skippy, mate.
  3. My ability to turn everything into rock makes singing in the shower a pain in the ass.
  4. Talk about getting stoned...
  5. You have no idea how long it takes buffing with a pumice stone to get my scales this shiny.

Prince Roald:

  1. My fiancee got killed in an earthquake? Quick, crack open a keg, I'm single again! And in keeping with family tradition, there's a female squire right there!
  2. F*** you, dad!
  3. I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby, looking for willing maidens, baby.
  4. From now on, I want to be the artist formerly known as Prince Roald
  5. Roald: Recipient Of A Land's Difficulty

Alex

  1. Part-time gigolo.
  2. Like the Duracell bunny, I just go on, and on, and on...until the Lioness pounds my brain into small splinters.
  3. Killing my friends is just an expression of my love. Some people say it with flowers. I say it with betrayal.
  4. You think I'm good with a sword – wait till you see me with my Supersoaker 2000!
  5. I wasn't Roger's squire just because of my disturbingly seductive presence – I knit well too.

Lalasa:

  1. What Kel doesn't know is that at night I dress up in a cape and fight crime in the streets of the Lower City (By theladysong.)

Kel:

  1. Can you *believe* that cute little outfit wasn't in my *size*? *Now* what am I gonna wear to dinner? (By Quartz.)

George

  1. The name's Swoop – George Swoop (By Laurie)

Ozorne

  1. I WANT MY MOMMY! (By Laurie)

Cleon:

  1. I'm not in love with Kel! I'm actually just using her to get to Neal... (By Sara)

Daine:

  1. Numair, you sexy wrinkled old prune! (By Sara)

Wyldon:

  1. Hey! I heard that toupees were available for 99 cents this week…
  2. Contrary to popular belief, I am not sexist or mean.
  3. I wear pink tights and a tutu when I go to sleep
  4. If I had hair, I'd want to tie it up in pigtails. (All by Sara)

Eda Bell (The Shang Wildcat)

  1. Where'd I leave my teeth? (By Sara)

Joren

  1. I'm a pretty, pretty princess!
  2. Does this shade of blusher make me look too girly?
  3. I'm actually a cross dresser and I love the attention that it gets me!!! So if you're looking for a sexy, blue-eyed blonde, you can find me from 3 to 5 singing Britney Spears songs at the Dancing Dove Inn. I'm the person standing on the bar counter in that powder blue dress. (All by Sara)

Vinson:

  1. I pop my pimples when I'm bored
  2. Kel! You sexy momma! Come over here and show me some hot loooove.
  3. I'm hot and I know it – with this skinny body and oily face, who wouldn't agree? (All by Sara)

From the Circle Of Magic:

Daja:

  1. I bring my staff with me for the fun of it! (By Zoey)

Polyam: Yeah – I enjoy getting qunaunen! (By Zoey)

Tris

  1. Ekk! I hate water
  2. Contacts are so last year, glasses are much more me
  3. Yoo hoo, Daja! *kiss kiss* (All by Becks)