Yes, it's that time of month when the authors of FF-Net take pot-shots
at Tamora Pierce's characters again :-) May y'all enjoy!
I *know*. Hanging On is not up...I
*am* working on it, please be patient – my exams have begun, and I am one
stressed halfwit right now. :-) Thank y'all.
Disclaimer: All of this is harmless fun, just taking a break from the
normal world – to those of you who have exams coming up, be they GCSEs (I went
through that hell last year), AS-Levels, A-Levels, Degree 'xams,
end-of-years...good luck to y'all. If you have a problem with this piece of
extracting-of-the-Michael...please take it up with me as this is (technically)
my fault. Otherwise, I hope it makes you laugh.
Things You Would Never Catch Tamora Pierce Characters Saying 5: Wry
Kids
Tkaa
- My low,
whispery voice is great for obscene phone calls.
- Just call me
Skippy, mate.
- My ability
to turn everything into rock makes singing in the shower a pain in the
ass.
- Talk about
getting stoned...
- You have no
idea how long it takes buffing with a pumice stone to get my scales this
shiny.
Prince Roald:
- My fiancee
got killed in an earthquake? Quick, crack open a keg, I'm single again!
And in keeping with family tradition, there's a female squire right there!
- F*** you,
dad!
- I'm just a
teenage dirtbag, baby, looking for willing maidens, baby.
- From now on,
I want to be the artist formerly known as Prince Roald
- Roald:
Recipient Of A Land's Difficulty
Alex
- Part-time
gigolo.
- Like the
Duracell bunny, I just go on, and on, and on...until the Lioness pounds my
brain into small splinters.
- Killing my
friends is just an expression of my love. Some people say it with flowers.
I say it with betrayal.
- You think
I'm good with a sword – wait till you see me with my Supersoaker 2000!
- I wasn't
Roger's squire just because of my disturbingly seductive presence – I knit
well too.
Lalasa:
- What Kel
doesn't know is that at night I dress up in a cape and fight crime in the
streets of the Lower City (By theladysong.)
Kel:
- Can you
*believe* that cute little outfit wasn't in my *size*? *Now* what am I
gonna wear to dinner? (By Quartz.)
George
- The name's
Swoop – George Swoop (By Laurie)
Ozorne
- I WANT MY
MOMMY! (By Laurie)
Cleon:
- I'm not in
love with Kel! I'm actually just using her to get to Neal... (By Sara)
Daine:
- Numair, you
sexy wrinkled old prune! (By Sara)
Wyldon:
- Hey! I heard
that toupees were available for 99 cents this week…
- Contrary to
popular belief, I am not sexist or mean.
- I wear pink
tights and a tutu when I go to sleep
- If I had
hair, I'd want to tie it up in pigtails. (All by Sara)
Eda Bell (The Shang Wildcat)
- Where'd I
leave my teeth? (By Sara)
Joren
- I'm a
pretty, pretty princess!
- Does this
shade of blusher make me look too girly?
- I'm actually
a cross dresser and I love the attention that it gets me!!! So if you're
looking for a sexy, blue-eyed blonde, you can find me from 3 to 5 singing
Britney Spears songs at the Dancing Dove Inn. I'm the person standing on
the bar counter in that powder blue dress. (All by Sara)
Vinson:
- I pop my
pimples when I'm bored
- Kel! You sexy
momma! Come over here and show me some hot loooove.
- I'm hot and I
know it – with this skinny body and oily face, who wouldn't agree? (All by
Sara)
From the Circle Of Magic:
Daja:
- I bring my
staff with me for the fun of it! (By Zoey)
Polyam: Yeah – I enjoy getting qunaunen! (By Zoey)
Tris
- Ekk! I hate
water
- Contacts are
so last year, glasses are much more me
- Yoo hoo, Daja!
*kiss kiss* (All by Becks)
