Note: this is a Cameron crowe inspired chapter. Hence the title of the chapter. I also lifted a line from one of my favorite Cameron crowe films, "say anything". If you've seen the movie, you'll know which line I'm talking about. I don't mean to rip him off, I'm just jealous that he thought of using it first.




"well…say something."

David was waiting for his friend pagan to say something…anything, after his five minute Cynthia bluecloud litany. He'd come clean: he was officially in love with her. He had to tell somebody now that he was absolutely sure or else he would burst. David had to say it out loud because he didn't feel real enough, it didn't feel like this was actually happening until somebody else knew about it. Not just anybody, of course, but somebody whose opinions he respected. Somebody who would share his excitement over his confession. Someone who could relate. Somehow he thought pagan would be that person, but he was beginning to think he was wrong.

"ise happy for yah," pagan said after a moment. And she WAS happy for him. David was positively glowing. Just that…well, the less she said about what she really thought about the whole affair, the better. "really."

Disappointment was only half of what david was feeling. "that's it?" he asked, quite hurt that pagan had not matched his level of excitement. "that's all you're gonna say?"

A weird shifty look crossed pagan's face, like she was struggling against her better judgment, editing in her head what she was about to say, before she let the words out. This wasn't the first time david saw the look, and unfortunately he also knew what it meant. David was bothered by it, her "I'm looking everywhere except at you for your own good" look. The "that's not what I meant look".

"what?" david said. "what is with that look?"

"what look?" pagan said.

"that look!" he said, pointing at her.

Pagan's mouth opened to protest, but closed. Exasperated, she pursed her lips and glanced sideways.

"see, you're doing it again!" he accused.

Pagan rolled her eyes. "david," she warned. A small, inexplicable sound came out from her throat, which clearly stated, "I don't know what else to say."

David turned his face away from her, shaking his head. Oh great! Pagan thought. Now HE's the one with a weird look on his face. That "I'm a wounded lovesick fool" look. Now it's MY fault. Great. Wonderful. Nice goin', pagan. How insensitive can you be? She cleared her throat.

"isn't she…I don't know, a bit too old for you?" she said in a tiny voice.

And then, david exploded. "aha! So the truth finally comes out!" he said.

"what?" pagan blinked. She felt set up in the worst possible way. Damned if I do, damned if I don't, she thought grimly. She wanted to take it back. She wished they could start over so that she could give david the reaction he wanted.

"so what if she is?" david said defensively. "what's wrong with that? It's not as if she's old enough to be my mother! In three years time I'll be eighteen and then I'll be an adult. And all adults are basically the same age!" it's not fair! He thought. Why do people want to deprive me of this wonderful feeling?

pagan had never seen david so incensed. She felt like shrinking. Oh god I said the wrong thing right then. I gotta watch dis mouth'a mine. "whoah!" she said, gulping. She held up both palms up, as if to shield herself from david. "point taken." She made a "time out" signal with her hands. She took off her cap and ran her fingers through her short black hair, sighing. "can I say something?"

david grunted in response.

"come on, david," pagan said gently, touching his shoulder. Come on, man, Ise not the enemy here. "please don't be mad. ise just lookin' out fah youse. Ise don't wanna see youse get hoit."

"who's hurt?" david said stubbornly. " I'm not hurt! And even if I did get hurt, so what? Who cares?" david stood up, faced pagan and declared, "I WANNA GET HURT!" he pounded his chest for emphasis. His voice echoed into the night. The silence that followed the statement was punctuated by a barking dog in the distance. If he didn't look so scary, pagan would have laughed at the dramatic declaration. This wasn't the time, though, maybe later, when all this was over, they might be able to laugh at it. However, it was far from over, and so pagan dared not laugh.

She reached into her pockets searching for a cigarette. Dammit, pagan, she scolded herself. Shudda known betta dan argue wit' a person in love. Especially one in love for the first time.