Chance Meeting
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It's summertime again... and the scent of honeysuckle hangs in the air, slipping through every open window. It was the first thing I could smell when I woke each day, and somehow it made everything seem brighter. Over the years, I had become convinced that honeysuckle was better than coffee, and today was no different. It relaxed me... made me believe for a short while that everything was as picture perfect as a postcard. It wasn't until I'd left my house and was halfway to my destination that the cloying scent of the flowers faded enough for reality to set in.
I'm scared.
He'd likely laugh to hear that. Nah, who'm I kidding... if he cracked a smile, it would likely cause damage that couldn't be repaired. The great Heero Yuy hadn't smiled in all the time I'd known him before, why would that change now? Then again, nothing says that he changed at all. Maybe that's why I'm here, waiting in a space port to see someone who likely hasn't thought a whit about me in years, and could give a damn less that he's been on my mind constantly.
Funny the way things work, ne? Ten years ago, we were on the front lines, taking on anyone stupid enough to cross our path as we tried to liberate the colonies, first from the Alliance, then from OZ. A year's peace was all we had before that bastard Barton started it all up again. After that... we just split ways. Most of us, anyway. Oh Quatre was wasy enough to find, but then again it was hard to disappear when you were the heir to one of the biggest fortunes known in the Earth Sphere. Call ANY holding of Winner Enterprises and you could get to him. If he wasn't there, they knew where he was. Of all of us, Quatre was the one who'd kept tabs on us all, and could disclose anyone's location at any given time. Least, that's the way he'd been with me.
I'd moved a couple of times... went back to L2 for a year or so before memories just wouldn't let me be. From there, it was to L4 where I spent some time with Quatre. After realizing that whatever I was missing wasn't going to be given to me by someone else, I left again to find my own path instead of following in someone's shadow. That's what brought me here, to Earth. Of course, I hadn't been here six months before I got the call from Quatre asking how I was doing. I swear, that boy's got more ways of tracking people than Relena does. He means well though, and if it weren't for him, we'd likely have no clue what anyone else was doing. There were a lot of times when I just wondered if he was feeding the others the same information about me that he was giving me about them. Who am I kidding... of all of us, the only ones who really seemed to want to keep in touch were Quatre and I.
For a while there was a huge scandal in the papers. Apparently the media had gotten wind of when he visited me two years ago. He'd sounded so stressed that I made him take a vacation and come down to Earth to take a much needed breather. Unfortunately, the media pounced all over it like a starved cat, and within a week there were images splashed across the front pages of every major newspaper, detailing the sordid love affair between Quatre Winner and the 'unnamed braided youth'. At least I managed to keep my identity from them, somehow. I don't know what was worse... my indignation or Quatre's mirth at realizing that even after all these years, I still didn't look any older than I had during the war. Quatre now towered almost a foot over me, and I'm sure the others would too. At first, he wanted me to go to a doctor to find out what the problem could be, but I wouldn't let him. I knew damned well what the problem was, or the combination of problems, anyway.
The only one I mentioned to him was my childhood on L2. There was never enough food or water, and growing up like that can put a serious strain on a kid. Malnutrition alone would have been enough to ensure that I never got taller than a whopping 5'2", and on my best day only weighed about 110 pounds, soaking wet... in jeans. I think most of my weight could have been attributed to my hair. I still hadn't cut it, save for a trim here and there to get rid of straggly ends. Braided, it now brushed the back of my knees... let loose, let's just say that I'd have an easier time breaking free of a fishnet than detangling myself from my own hair if I fall asleep before it's tied back. Trust me, I know. Been there.
It's one of the few things that's unchanged about me. Quatre doesn't know everything, else he'd likely have moved me back there years ago to take care of me. He'd have made a good mother, I think. Then again, with how he'd been pining for Trowa after the war, maybe that assessment wasn't too far off. Either way, what he didn't know couldn't bring him running, and I'm certain that if he'd known the full extent of my ailments, he'd have taken the next shuttle down.
Bluntly put, I don't have much time left. I know that. I accepted it long ago, and Shinigami and I made a deal. I brought far too many people to his side during the war, and I think maybe I bought myself a bit of time with that alone. Now, however, payment was coming due and I'd be damned if I left this realm without seeing my friends one more time. My heart began failing shortly after we parted ways... the strain of my life both before and during the war was taking its toll. I had my first heart attack when I was the ripe old age of eighteen.... the second at twenty-three. Now, at 26 years old, I have a matter of months before I can sleep nestled in the arms of the Shadow Lover for all eternity. Oh there's a chance for transplant... but it's not very good. Rare blood type, and all. I've been waiting for three years with only one false alarm... I won't delude myself into believing in miracles.
Quatre was a godsend during the past months. He found Wufei for me, and made it so that I knew exactly where the Chinese pilot would be, so that I could 'conveniently' run into him. There's no way in hell I'm letting them know what my motives are. Chance meetings are all I'd allow... all that they would likely want to believe. It was Chinese New Year, last year... and I'd made certain that I was in Beijing for it. He lived not far from there, having gone to the one place that could still remind him of his colony and people. I'd done a bit of research, and knew that the stores reopened on the fifth day of the New Year... and planned accordingly. I wasn't the only foreigner there, not by a longshot... but my appearance alone made heads turn. I knew that while it would be almost impossible to find Wufei in the throng, he'd be able to recognize me in a second. Sure enough, after wandering near where I knew his home to be for nearly two hours, I heard a voice behind me in whispered shock.
"Duo?"
I could have laughed when I saw his widened eyes and the trembling hands that held a laquered dragon vase with several small shoots of bamboo. I didn't though... all I could do was smile to him, nodding faintly. He's never been much for displays of emotion, and I respected that. I came here to say goodbye to him in my own way, not to rekindle the debates and bickers of days long gone. After the initial surprise wore off, he guided me towards a small shop across the way, and we seated ourselves in chairs to talk of events past and present. I'm not quite certain how long we remained there... long enough for the tea to grow cold several times over and be refilled by the woman who was caring for the patrons along the patio area where we talked. I learned more about Chang Wufei in those hours than I had during the entire time we'd fought side by side.
I never knew he'd been a scholar, or that he'd been married before the war. Widowed by the age of fifteen... orphaned by family and colony alike by the age of seventeen. I knew how he felt, though not completely. I couldn't remember when I'd lost everything in my life... it was so much easier when you weren't old enough to really understand. In turn, he learned a lot about me as well. I kept my years after the war as vague as I could, but I'm certain he knew I was leaving out information he'd likely want to hear. He was just too polite to push farthur. When I left Beijing the next day, it was with a strange sense of sorrow. I wished I had more time to get to know the most enigmatic of us all.
It was maybe three months after that when I contacted Quatre again, this time looking for Trowa. We all knew that he'd gone back to the circus, but he'd left it less than three years later. After that, it was easier to keep track of a butterfly in spring than it was to know where the Latin pilot was. His trail was easy enough to follow, but unfortunately there was no pattern or path to indicate his next move. After the circus, he'd gone to Earth and attended University in Canada. From there, it was to France in a graduate program that would allow him to teach others what he knew. I never knew he was such a good dancer... the Paris Ballet was all over him, and from then on, one never knew where his travels would take him. He was happy... I saw that much when I watched his performance for the first time.
I'd never been so much in awe of a single person as I was while watching him float across the stage. Dance wasn't the proper term for what he did... it was as if every single repressed emotion from the years came out with each motion he made. This was how the unshakable Trowa Barton expressed himself, just as Quatre did with his music. I still find myself wondering who I'd have to hit upside the head with a 2x4 to get them to notice how they felt about each other. With Quatre, it was plain as day, written across his face whenever he'd look at the emerald-eyed one. With Trowa, it was a lot more subtle... a quick glance here, a stolen touch there. I wondered if those feelings were still there as I left my seat to make my way to the backstage area. Once again, I owe Quatre big for this one. He'd not only managed to get me box seats, he got his hands on a backstage invitation as well. Remind me sometime that if reincarnation exists, I want to come back as his son. Nah, scratch that. I've seen what he goes through as the heir. Make me a second daughter or something.
As with Wufei, the pretense of this just being coincidence was upheld. I was travelling and decided to take in a show while visiting London. The Paris Ballet happened to be in town that night. He was just as surprised to see me, but didn't show it quite as exuberantly as I did. If I'd done anything else, he'd have known something was wrong, and that was one can of worms I'd rather not have opened just yet. I knew most of what he'd been doing with his life, and again I managed to keep my own demons in the background for the evening. We had dinner at a local pub, and stayed until the wee hours of the morning, when the bar itself closed its doors. Even then, we were loathe to leave. I had a feeling that Trowa craved company almost as much as Quatre and I did... and I was shameless in dropping little hints that the blonde Arab would be MORE than happy to hear from him personally. I could tell by the brief glimmer in his eyes that the years hadn't lessened those feelings one little bit. Every time I made mention of Quatre, his gaze lit up and was hungry for more information... anything that I was able to tell him. By the time I made my way back to the hotel I was staying in, I was convinced that Quatre would be hearing from him soon. He'd better, anyway, or I'd REALLY hate to have to drag Trowa by his bang to the nearest spaceport and stuff him into a shuttle bound for L4.
That was nearly nine months ago... and since then, things have just gotten worse. Of all the things to make my life more difficult, it wasn't my existing condition, as I had expected it to be. In August, I was involved in a head on collision that left me in a coma for two days and in a wheelchair for weeks after that. Now, I find it hard to move well without a cane, and at times it can be quite humiliating. The last time I went to visit Quatre, I had to be wheeled from the shuttle after spending hours in the cramped seat. I'll never forget the look in his eyes go from expectation to raw shock as he saw me. It was nearly ten minutes before I was able to convince him that I was fine and I just needed to stretch my legs a bit before we left the spaceport. Much to my relief, though, Trowa was there with him. Looks like Shinigami's instincts aren't too far off, ne?
I spent a week with them before I felt the unexplainable urge to go back to Earth. While I'm sure Quatre would have extended my stay as long as he could, he also knew that the Earth was special to me and I couldn't bear to be away from it for long anymore. Still, it was a good week, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. The three of us had fun, and somehow I was able to keep them from prying too much into the events of my life. It was just so hard, though... Quatre really does care about all of us, and it hurt me to hide this from him. More than I'll ever admit, it hurt. He knew, I'm sure of it. I never could really hide too much from him, and while coming up here and being in his presence wasn't the brightest of moves if I wanted to keep something to myself, I still had to do it. His eyes as I left them in the spaceport were enough to wrench at every string my heart had, and I found myself hard pressed to turn away. He knew... he knew that he'd never lay eyes on me in person again. I cried the entire flight back to Earth.
I didn't even need to ask him this time... I found the information waiting for me one morning when I stumbled to my laptop and checked email. Heero was coming to Earth. His location was by far the hardest to find, since he was almost always moving around from place to place. It was as if he was staying one step ahead of someone, and after seeing how Relena still pursued him, it wasn't hard to figure out why. Still, he was coming HERE. Of all places, he was coming to England. No one except for Quatre knew I lived here now. It was something about the countryside, I think... something that kept calling to me after the very first time I'd seen it. Still, what on earth would bring him HERE? No matter... the timing was perfect. I couldn't travel much longer anyway, and this just made it all the easier to see him.
That's how I found myself standing in a spaceport with a cane in one hand and a laptop over the opposite shoulder. I was dressed nicely, but not too nicely... and it would be easy to say that I was just returning from a visit to pick-your-favourite-spot, and wasn't it SO lucky that I happened to be here when you arrived, Heero? That's the way it was supposed to be, anyway. I positioned myself at a small souvenir shop just outside the gate he'd be arriving from. Two gates down, a flight had just arrived from America, and I could always claim that I had wanted to visit the homeland of my colony. It was a good cover, or so I thought. Part of me shuddered inwardly... how would he react? Last time he'd seen me was when we'd parted ways after Dekim Barton's failed coup. I was much different now, I told myself as I looked down, glaring at the cane that supported most of the weight on my right side when I walked. If I could have gotten away without it, I would have.
Some way to reappear in the life of the person you've been dreaming about for years... show up crippled, underweight, scrawny and with a case of nerves the likes of which would make Quatre cringe. When I felt a hand close over my shoulder, I was so deep in my own thoughts that I almost jumped out of my skin. I spun around on instinct, forgetting that my right leg would no longer support my full weight, no matter how slight it was. Strong hands clasped my arms, holding me up when I would have fallen, and I found myself staring up into those cerulean eyes that have been haunting me for the past ten years. It was a few seconds before the slight upturned corners of his mouth registered with my already frazzled brain. Smiling... Heero was... smiling?
"It's good to see you too, Duo."
"I... was just... I mean..."
He brought up a single finger and pressed it to my lips. Even if I'd been able to stutter out the explanation I'd rehearsed, it didn't take a genius to see that he wasn't buying it. There was concern behind those eyes and he never once looked anywhere except at my face. The cane, my condition... it didn't faze him in the slightest. It was like... like he knew. My eyes closed then and I felt my knees buckle underneath me as the realization hit. The only thought that went through my head as I felt myself falling... Quatre, I'm going to kill you.
* * *
I'd been beaten at my own game. Long after I regained consciousness, I just lay there, unresponding. It wasn't fooling Heero, I knew, but he let me continue with the charade as long as I needed to. It took a while to organize my thoughts. It had to have been Quatre. He's the only one I'd opened up to about Heero, and what my feelings were towards him. He had to have called him after my last visit and told him something. There's no other reason why he would just show up like this... no reason at all. If he'd wanted to find me, he had ten years to do so. No word from Soldierboy in all that time. That had to be it, Quatre told him to come see me and he did. If I told myself that long enough, I just might believe it.
"No one told me to come here."
I cracked open one eye, leveling a glare at him that would have made most men cringe. "You never told me you could read minds too."
"I can't. But I know you well enough to see your thoughts all over your face."
Funny, that's what I'd said about Quatre. "So if no one told you to come here, then why'd you come, Heero?" I was almost afraid to hear the answer. So help me, if he'd come here out of pity I was going to come up out of this hospital bed and kick his spandex-clad ass all the way back to L1.
"Quatre told me he was worried about you. He and I have kept in touch off and on since the war ended, and he said that last time he'd seen you, you didn't look good." His eyes held no trace of deception, and I honestly didn't think he would have lied at a time like this. I was stunned, to say the least. Had Quatre really gone through all that to keep up with all of us? I was lost in my own thoughts when he started speaking again and I almost missed the words. "To be honest, Duo, I'd been meaning to come see you for a while. I kept telling myself that you might not want me to... I mean, you never really made any attempt to contact me, I thought maybe you and Hilde were living peacefully and trying to forget everything from the past."
I almost laughed at that. He thought me... and Hilde... "No, no... Hilde was a good friend, but we each had our own agenda, really." It was all I could muster without losing my composure completely. Then his words really hit me and I could just stare at him. He'd wanted to find me? Dear God, or whoever's listening, you sure have a FUCKED sense of humour, I swear. It was then that I saw a shadow moving out of the corner of my eye, behind where Heero sat. Green eyes gleamed at me softly... but they weren't frightening. How could they be, when I'd seen them so many times in my life? "Just a few more minutes... please?" I whispered, smiling softly towards them. A faint nod, and they vanished once more.
"Duo... who are you talking to?" Heero spun around, looking over his shoulder, then back to me with widened eyes. I'd never seen fear there before... it was reassuring to know that he was human after all. I reached one hand to rest over his own and then saw just how I must look to him. The skin of my hand was so thin that you could see the veins running beneath the surface and appeared so delicate that the slightest touch would cause damage.
"Daijoubu, Heero." I said, slipping into his native tongue. "Just an old friend coming to visit one last time." Why wasn't I scared? I looked around the room then, and realized just where I was. It was a hospital, I knew that much, but I'd seen a room or one similar to it before. It wasn't far from my home, I'd been brought here before when my heart had nearly given out. I think it was then that I realized I wasn't ever leaving this room again. Not in the way I wanted to. I saw his head shake slightly, as if he could will away Shinigami himself, but he knew as well as I that it was an idle hope at best.
"Heero? Tell Quatre that I said thank you... for everything." When he would have spoken, I raised my hand, willing him to let me finish while I still could. "I got to see you again... and that's what I wanted more than anything. I would have tried long before now, but I think we both were thinking that the other didn't want to be found. I'd give anything to take that back and start over, but I can't." I felt the tears rising and turned away to try and choke them back. I didn't get the chance though, before I felt his hand against my cheek, turning me to face him. I started to protest, then realized that he was so close I could feel his breath on my cheek. As he made me face him fully, his lips brushed against mine in a warm kiss... the kind of kiss I'd only wished for up until now.
"Duo, I'm here... for whatever that means now, I'm here. I can't change the past, but I can promise you that you aren't alone." His eyes were rimmed with tears, one slipping down his cheek unbidden as he looked at me. Suddenly, I wished more than anything in the world that I could stay here with him forever... just like this. But unfortunately, I knew I couldn't. The eyes were back, that gentle presence that let me know my time had come.
I forced my eyes to stay open just a few moments longer, my voice a soft whisper as I tried to make the words come before it was too late. "Heero... don't cry. Ai shiteru... I love you." The last words were no more than a breath given form as I felt lips close over my own. They weren't his this time... the touch was like mist, drawing me into its embrace gently. The tightening around my heart that I'd known for so long suddenly ceased to be, and I felt myself being held close in an embrace that would shelter me from everything that would do me harm. When I opened my eyes once more, I saw myself laying against the starched white sheets with Heero curled over me. His shoulders were trembling violently and although I couldn't hear him, I knew he was crying.
"What do you wish to do now...."
I looked up into those eyes that had watched over me for so long and smiled faintly. I felt sleepy, of all things, and knew that this time I wouldn't wake. "I want... to be close to him. Please let me stay close to him..." The shadows swirled around us then and I felt myself slip away. It was so warm here... I could stay here forever....
* * *
Summertime... and the scent of honeysuckle hangs in the air, slipping through every open window.
"Mr. Yuy?"
Blue eyes lifted instantly, followed by three other pairs. The four pilots were scattered around the waiting room, having been shoved out there long ago when it became apparent that things weren't going as planned. Quatre was pacing near the window, occasionally stopping to slip into Trowa's embrace. The two had been 'together' for five years now, ever since Duo had made them both see how much they needed one another. Wufei was sitting in a chair nearby, slanting his gaze towards the two and shaking his head in amusement every time they exchanged a wistful gaze. All three of them kept turning their attention to Heero, who had more right to be on edge than anyone. Surprisingly, however, he wasn't. When the nurse appeared and spoke his name, however, all four of them immediately sprang towards the unsuspecting woman.
She simply smiled, stepping aside and motioning towards the door. "They're both resting now. You can go to see them whenever you wish."
That was all it took as the former Wing pilot brushed past her and into the recovery room. Against the pillow, her pale features almost blending with the white fabric, was Relena... smiling at him wearily. He moved to her side immediately and caught her hand in his own. It had been two years since they'd married... it had taken him three years to reconcile his feelings for Duo and get over the braided pilot's death. He could have sworn that he'd seen the American in his dreams, telling him to quit being such a baka and be happy instead of pining for him. He wasn't sure when he'd started looking at Relena as less of an annoyance and actually started cherishing her company... but he wasn't going to let happiness slip through his fingers again. Duo would have wanted it that way.
Relena smiled at him as he kissed the back of her hand and pulled him into a soft embrace. The painkillers were already taking effect and she knew that she wouldn't be able to keep her eyes open much longer. "Heero... I need to rest. I'm sorr--"
"Shh..." He said, silencing her with a soft kiss. "Rest then... I'll be here when you wake."
She simply nodded and glanced to the small bundle that lay wrapped in a bassinette nearby. "Your son..."
He smiled then, understanding. He moved to the bassinette and gingerly lifted the blanket-wrapped newborn in his arms, then moved back towards the bed. Kneeling beside it, he held the boy where she could see, and immediately saw tears of joy spring to her eyes. "He's beautiful, `Lena... just like you." He saw the whispered 'I love you' more than he heard it before she finally succumbed to the painkillers and drifted off to sleep. Pulling a chair close, he seated himself and stared in wonder at the infant in his arms.
He traced one finger along the cupid's bow lips and the tiny nose... then along the spun-silk hair that capped the small head in a cushion of soft brown. He smiled faintly, shaking his head... it was a perfect blend of his own dark tresses and Relena's deep blonde. His heart nearly stopped in the next instant when the child stirred, and he found himself being stared at by a pair of deep indigo eyes. Not the normal blue that most children are born with... no, this was a soft blend of cobalt blue and bright violet. If he looked close enough, he could see the flecks of colour glittering in the boy's eyes.
Something in him realized, before he even felt the questioning brush in his mind from Quatre, then the stunned response as the other pilot realized what he was seeing. He looked down then, his voice a mere whisper in the silent room. "Welcome back, Duo."
* * *
~Owari
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It's summertime again... and the scent of honeysuckle hangs in the air, slipping through every open window. It was the first thing I could smell when I woke each day, and somehow it made everything seem brighter. Over the years, I had become convinced that honeysuckle was better than coffee, and today was no different. It relaxed me... made me believe for a short while that everything was as picture perfect as a postcard. It wasn't until I'd left my house and was halfway to my destination that the cloying scent of the flowers faded enough for reality to set in.
I'm scared.
He'd likely laugh to hear that. Nah, who'm I kidding... if he cracked a smile, it would likely cause damage that couldn't be repaired. The great Heero Yuy hadn't smiled in all the time I'd known him before, why would that change now? Then again, nothing says that he changed at all. Maybe that's why I'm here, waiting in a space port to see someone who likely hasn't thought a whit about me in years, and could give a damn less that he's been on my mind constantly.
Funny the way things work, ne? Ten years ago, we were on the front lines, taking on anyone stupid enough to cross our path as we tried to liberate the colonies, first from the Alliance, then from OZ. A year's peace was all we had before that bastard Barton started it all up again. After that... we just split ways. Most of us, anyway. Oh Quatre was wasy enough to find, but then again it was hard to disappear when you were the heir to one of the biggest fortunes known in the Earth Sphere. Call ANY holding of Winner Enterprises and you could get to him. If he wasn't there, they knew where he was. Of all of us, Quatre was the one who'd kept tabs on us all, and could disclose anyone's location at any given time. Least, that's the way he'd been with me.
I'd moved a couple of times... went back to L2 for a year or so before memories just wouldn't let me be. From there, it was to L4 where I spent some time with Quatre. After realizing that whatever I was missing wasn't going to be given to me by someone else, I left again to find my own path instead of following in someone's shadow. That's what brought me here, to Earth. Of course, I hadn't been here six months before I got the call from Quatre asking how I was doing. I swear, that boy's got more ways of tracking people than Relena does. He means well though, and if it weren't for him, we'd likely have no clue what anyone else was doing. There were a lot of times when I just wondered if he was feeding the others the same information about me that he was giving me about them. Who am I kidding... of all of us, the only ones who really seemed to want to keep in touch were Quatre and I.
For a while there was a huge scandal in the papers. Apparently the media had gotten wind of when he visited me two years ago. He'd sounded so stressed that I made him take a vacation and come down to Earth to take a much needed breather. Unfortunately, the media pounced all over it like a starved cat, and within a week there were images splashed across the front pages of every major newspaper, detailing the sordid love affair between Quatre Winner and the 'unnamed braided youth'. At least I managed to keep my identity from them, somehow. I don't know what was worse... my indignation or Quatre's mirth at realizing that even after all these years, I still didn't look any older than I had during the war. Quatre now towered almost a foot over me, and I'm sure the others would too. At first, he wanted me to go to a doctor to find out what the problem could be, but I wouldn't let him. I knew damned well what the problem was, or the combination of problems, anyway.
The only one I mentioned to him was my childhood on L2. There was never enough food or water, and growing up like that can put a serious strain on a kid. Malnutrition alone would have been enough to ensure that I never got taller than a whopping 5'2", and on my best day only weighed about 110 pounds, soaking wet... in jeans. I think most of my weight could have been attributed to my hair. I still hadn't cut it, save for a trim here and there to get rid of straggly ends. Braided, it now brushed the back of my knees... let loose, let's just say that I'd have an easier time breaking free of a fishnet than detangling myself from my own hair if I fall asleep before it's tied back. Trust me, I know. Been there.
It's one of the few things that's unchanged about me. Quatre doesn't know everything, else he'd likely have moved me back there years ago to take care of me. He'd have made a good mother, I think. Then again, with how he'd been pining for Trowa after the war, maybe that assessment wasn't too far off. Either way, what he didn't know couldn't bring him running, and I'm certain that if he'd known the full extent of my ailments, he'd have taken the next shuttle down.
Bluntly put, I don't have much time left. I know that. I accepted it long ago, and Shinigami and I made a deal. I brought far too many people to his side during the war, and I think maybe I bought myself a bit of time with that alone. Now, however, payment was coming due and I'd be damned if I left this realm without seeing my friends one more time. My heart began failing shortly after we parted ways... the strain of my life both before and during the war was taking its toll. I had my first heart attack when I was the ripe old age of eighteen.... the second at twenty-three. Now, at 26 years old, I have a matter of months before I can sleep nestled in the arms of the Shadow Lover for all eternity. Oh there's a chance for transplant... but it's not very good. Rare blood type, and all. I've been waiting for three years with only one false alarm... I won't delude myself into believing in miracles.
Quatre was a godsend during the past months. He found Wufei for me, and made it so that I knew exactly where the Chinese pilot would be, so that I could 'conveniently' run into him. There's no way in hell I'm letting them know what my motives are. Chance meetings are all I'd allow... all that they would likely want to believe. It was Chinese New Year, last year... and I'd made certain that I was in Beijing for it. He lived not far from there, having gone to the one place that could still remind him of his colony and people. I'd done a bit of research, and knew that the stores reopened on the fifth day of the New Year... and planned accordingly. I wasn't the only foreigner there, not by a longshot... but my appearance alone made heads turn. I knew that while it would be almost impossible to find Wufei in the throng, he'd be able to recognize me in a second. Sure enough, after wandering near where I knew his home to be for nearly two hours, I heard a voice behind me in whispered shock.
"Duo?"
I could have laughed when I saw his widened eyes and the trembling hands that held a laquered dragon vase with several small shoots of bamboo. I didn't though... all I could do was smile to him, nodding faintly. He's never been much for displays of emotion, and I respected that. I came here to say goodbye to him in my own way, not to rekindle the debates and bickers of days long gone. After the initial surprise wore off, he guided me towards a small shop across the way, and we seated ourselves in chairs to talk of events past and present. I'm not quite certain how long we remained there... long enough for the tea to grow cold several times over and be refilled by the woman who was caring for the patrons along the patio area where we talked. I learned more about Chang Wufei in those hours than I had during the entire time we'd fought side by side.
I never knew he'd been a scholar, or that he'd been married before the war. Widowed by the age of fifteen... orphaned by family and colony alike by the age of seventeen. I knew how he felt, though not completely. I couldn't remember when I'd lost everything in my life... it was so much easier when you weren't old enough to really understand. In turn, he learned a lot about me as well. I kept my years after the war as vague as I could, but I'm certain he knew I was leaving out information he'd likely want to hear. He was just too polite to push farthur. When I left Beijing the next day, it was with a strange sense of sorrow. I wished I had more time to get to know the most enigmatic of us all.
It was maybe three months after that when I contacted Quatre again, this time looking for Trowa. We all knew that he'd gone back to the circus, but he'd left it less than three years later. After that, it was easier to keep track of a butterfly in spring than it was to know where the Latin pilot was. His trail was easy enough to follow, but unfortunately there was no pattern or path to indicate his next move. After the circus, he'd gone to Earth and attended University in Canada. From there, it was to France in a graduate program that would allow him to teach others what he knew. I never knew he was such a good dancer... the Paris Ballet was all over him, and from then on, one never knew where his travels would take him. He was happy... I saw that much when I watched his performance for the first time.
I'd never been so much in awe of a single person as I was while watching him float across the stage. Dance wasn't the proper term for what he did... it was as if every single repressed emotion from the years came out with each motion he made. This was how the unshakable Trowa Barton expressed himself, just as Quatre did with his music. I still find myself wondering who I'd have to hit upside the head with a 2x4 to get them to notice how they felt about each other. With Quatre, it was plain as day, written across his face whenever he'd look at the emerald-eyed one. With Trowa, it was a lot more subtle... a quick glance here, a stolen touch there. I wondered if those feelings were still there as I left my seat to make my way to the backstage area. Once again, I owe Quatre big for this one. He'd not only managed to get me box seats, he got his hands on a backstage invitation as well. Remind me sometime that if reincarnation exists, I want to come back as his son. Nah, scratch that. I've seen what he goes through as the heir. Make me a second daughter or something.
As with Wufei, the pretense of this just being coincidence was upheld. I was travelling and decided to take in a show while visiting London. The Paris Ballet happened to be in town that night. He was just as surprised to see me, but didn't show it quite as exuberantly as I did. If I'd done anything else, he'd have known something was wrong, and that was one can of worms I'd rather not have opened just yet. I knew most of what he'd been doing with his life, and again I managed to keep my own demons in the background for the evening. We had dinner at a local pub, and stayed until the wee hours of the morning, when the bar itself closed its doors. Even then, we were loathe to leave. I had a feeling that Trowa craved company almost as much as Quatre and I did... and I was shameless in dropping little hints that the blonde Arab would be MORE than happy to hear from him personally. I could tell by the brief glimmer in his eyes that the years hadn't lessened those feelings one little bit. Every time I made mention of Quatre, his gaze lit up and was hungry for more information... anything that I was able to tell him. By the time I made my way back to the hotel I was staying in, I was convinced that Quatre would be hearing from him soon. He'd better, anyway, or I'd REALLY hate to have to drag Trowa by his bang to the nearest spaceport and stuff him into a shuttle bound for L4.
That was nearly nine months ago... and since then, things have just gotten worse. Of all the things to make my life more difficult, it wasn't my existing condition, as I had expected it to be. In August, I was involved in a head on collision that left me in a coma for two days and in a wheelchair for weeks after that. Now, I find it hard to move well without a cane, and at times it can be quite humiliating. The last time I went to visit Quatre, I had to be wheeled from the shuttle after spending hours in the cramped seat. I'll never forget the look in his eyes go from expectation to raw shock as he saw me. It was nearly ten minutes before I was able to convince him that I was fine and I just needed to stretch my legs a bit before we left the spaceport. Much to my relief, though, Trowa was there with him. Looks like Shinigami's instincts aren't too far off, ne?
I spent a week with them before I felt the unexplainable urge to go back to Earth. While I'm sure Quatre would have extended my stay as long as he could, he also knew that the Earth was special to me and I couldn't bear to be away from it for long anymore. Still, it was a good week, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. The three of us had fun, and somehow I was able to keep them from prying too much into the events of my life. It was just so hard, though... Quatre really does care about all of us, and it hurt me to hide this from him. More than I'll ever admit, it hurt. He knew, I'm sure of it. I never could really hide too much from him, and while coming up here and being in his presence wasn't the brightest of moves if I wanted to keep something to myself, I still had to do it. His eyes as I left them in the spaceport were enough to wrench at every string my heart had, and I found myself hard pressed to turn away. He knew... he knew that he'd never lay eyes on me in person again. I cried the entire flight back to Earth.
I didn't even need to ask him this time... I found the information waiting for me one morning when I stumbled to my laptop and checked email. Heero was coming to Earth. His location was by far the hardest to find, since he was almost always moving around from place to place. It was as if he was staying one step ahead of someone, and after seeing how Relena still pursued him, it wasn't hard to figure out why. Still, he was coming HERE. Of all places, he was coming to England. No one except for Quatre knew I lived here now. It was something about the countryside, I think... something that kept calling to me after the very first time I'd seen it. Still, what on earth would bring him HERE? No matter... the timing was perfect. I couldn't travel much longer anyway, and this just made it all the easier to see him.
That's how I found myself standing in a spaceport with a cane in one hand and a laptop over the opposite shoulder. I was dressed nicely, but not too nicely... and it would be easy to say that I was just returning from a visit to pick-your-favourite-spot, and wasn't it SO lucky that I happened to be here when you arrived, Heero? That's the way it was supposed to be, anyway. I positioned myself at a small souvenir shop just outside the gate he'd be arriving from. Two gates down, a flight had just arrived from America, and I could always claim that I had wanted to visit the homeland of my colony. It was a good cover, or so I thought. Part of me shuddered inwardly... how would he react? Last time he'd seen me was when we'd parted ways after Dekim Barton's failed coup. I was much different now, I told myself as I looked down, glaring at the cane that supported most of the weight on my right side when I walked. If I could have gotten away without it, I would have.
Some way to reappear in the life of the person you've been dreaming about for years... show up crippled, underweight, scrawny and with a case of nerves the likes of which would make Quatre cringe. When I felt a hand close over my shoulder, I was so deep in my own thoughts that I almost jumped out of my skin. I spun around on instinct, forgetting that my right leg would no longer support my full weight, no matter how slight it was. Strong hands clasped my arms, holding me up when I would have fallen, and I found myself staring up into those cerulean eyes that have been haunting me for the past ten years. It was a few seconds before the slight upturned corners of his mouth registered with my already frazzled brain. Smiling... Heero was... smiling?
"It's good to see you too, Duo."
"I... was just... I mean..."
He brought up a single finger and pressed it to my lips. Even if I'd been able to stutter out the explanation I'd rehearsed, it didn't take a genius to see that he wasn't buying it. There was concern behind those eyes and he never once looked anywhere except at my face. The cane, my condition... it didn't faze him in the slightest. It was like... like he knew. My eyes closed then and I felt my knees buckle underneath me as the realization hit. The only thought that went through my head as I felt myself falling... Quatre, I'm going to kill you.
* * *
I'd been beaten at my own game. Long after I regained consciousness, I just lay there, unresponding. It wasn't fooling Heero, I knew, but he let me continue with the charade as long as I needed to. It took a while to organize my thoughts. It had to have been Quatre. He's the only one I'd opened up to about Heero, and what my feelings were towards him. He had to have called him after my last visit and told him something. There's no other reason why he would just show up like this... no reason at all. If he'd wanted to find me, he had ten years to do so. No word from Soldierboy in all that time. That had to be it, Quatre told him to come see me and he did. If I told myself that long enough, I just might believe it.
"No one told me to come here."
I cracked open one eye, leveling a glare at him that would have made most men cringe. "You never told me you could read minds too."
"I can't. But I know you well enough to see your thoughts all over your face."
Funny, that's what I'd said about Quatre. "So if no one told you to come here, then why'd you come, Heero?" I was almost afraid to hear the answer. So help me, if he'd come here out of pity I was going to come up out of this hospital bed and kick his spandex-clad ass all the way back to L1.
"Quatre told me he was worried about you. He and I have kept in touch off and on since the war ended, and he said that last time he'd seen you, you didn't look good." His eyes held no trace of deception, and I honestly didn't think he would have lied at a time like this. I was stunned, to say the least. Had Quatre really gone through all that to keep up with all of us? I was lost in my own thoughts when he started speaking again and I almost missed the words. "To be honest, Duo, I'd been meaning to come see you for a while. I kept telling myself that you might not want me to... I mean, you never really made any attempt to contact me, I thought maybe you and Hilde were living peacefully and trying to forget everything from the past."
I almost laughed at that. He thought me... and Hilde... "No, no... Hilde was a good friend, but we each had our own agenda, really." It was all I could muster without losing my composure completely. Then his words really hit me and I could just stare at him. He'd wanted to find me? Dear God, or whoever's listening, you sure have a FUCKED sense of humour, I swear. It was then that I saw a shadow moving out of the corner of my eye, behind where Heero sat. Green eyes gleamed at me softly... but they weren't frightening. How could they be, when I'd seen them so many times in my life? "Just a few more minutes... please?" I whispered, smiling softly towards them. A faint nod, and they vanished once more.
"Duo... who are you talking to?" Heero spun around, looking over his shoulder, then back to me with widened eyes. I'd never seen fear there before... it was reassuring to know that he was human after all. I reached one hand to rest over his own and then saw just how I must look to him. The skin of my hand was so thin that you could see the veins running beneath the surface and appeared so delicate that the slightest touch would cause damage.
"Daijoubu, Heero." I said, slipping into his native tongue. "Just an old friend coming to visit one last time." Why wasn't I scared? I looked around the room then, and realized just where I was. It was a hospital, I knew that much, but I'd seen a room or one similar to it before. It wasn't far from my home, I'd been brought here before when my heart had nearly given out. I think it was then that I realized I wasn't ever leaving this room again. Not in the way I wanted to. I saw his head shake slightly, as if he could will away Shinigami himself, but he knew as well as I that it was an idle hope at best.
"Heero? Tell Quatre that I said thank you... for everything." When he would have spoken, I raised my hand, willing him to let me finish while I still could. "I got to see you again... and that's what I wanted more than anything. I would have tried long before now, but I think we both were thinking that the other didn't want to be found. I'd give anything to take that back and start over, but I can't." I felt the tears rising and turned away to try and choke them back. I didn't get the chance though, before I felt his hand against my cheek, turning me to face him. I started to protest, then realized that he was so close I could feel his breath on my cheek. As he made me face him fully, his lips brushed against mine in a warm kiss... the kind of kiss I'd only wished for up until now.
"Duo, I'm here... for whatever that means now, I'm here. I can't change the past, but I can promise you that you aren't alone." His eyes were rimmed with tears, one slipping down his cheek unbidden as he looked at me. Suddenly, I wished more than anything in the world that I could stay here with him forever... just like this. But unfortunately, I knew I couldn't. The eyes were back, that gentle presence that let me know my time had come.
I forced my eyes to stay open just a few moments longer, my voice a soft whisper as I tried to make the words come before it was too late. "Heero... don't cry. Ai shiteru... I love you." The last words were no more than a breath given form as I felt lips close over my own. They weren't his this time... the touch was like mist, drawing me into its embrace gently. The tightening around my heart that I'd known for so long suddenly ceased to be, and I felt myself being held close in an embrace that would shelter me from everything that would do me harm. When I opened my eyes once more, I saw myself laying against the starched white sheets with Heero curled over me. His shoulders were trembling violently and although I couldn't hear him, I knew he was crying.
"What do you wish to do now...."
I looked up into those eyes that had watched over me for so long and smiled faintly. I felt sleepy, of all things, and knew that this time I wouldn't wake. "I want... to be close to him. Please let me stay close to him..." The shadows swirled around us then and I felt myself slip away. It was so warm here... I could stay here forever....
* * *
Summertime... and the scent of honeysuckle hangs in the air, slipping through every open window.
"Mr. Yuy?"
Blue eyes lifted instantly, followed by three other pairs. The four pilots were scattered around the waiting room, having been shoved out there long ago when it became apparent that things weren't going as planned. Quatre was pacing near the window, occasionally stopping to slip into Trowa's embrace. The two had been 'together' for five years now, ever since Duo had made them both see how much they needed one another. Wufei was sitting in a chair nearby, slanting his gaze towards the two and shaking his head in amusement every time they exchanged a wistful gaze. All three of them kept turning their attention to Heero, who had more right to be on edge than anyone. Surprisingly, however, he wasn't. When the nurse appeared and spoke his name, however, all four of them immediately sprang towards the unsuspecting woman.
She simply smiled, stepping aside and motioning towards the door. "They're both resting now. You can go to see them whenever you wish."
That was all it took as the former Wing pilot brushed past her and into the recovery room. Against the pillow, her pale features almost blending with the white fabric, was Relena... smiling at him wearily. He moved to her side immediately and caught her hand in his own. It had been two years since they'd married... it had taken him three years to reconcile his feelings for Duo and get over the braided pilot's death. He could have sworn that he'd seen the American in his dreams, telling him to quit being such a baka and be happy instead of pining for him. He wasn't sure when he'd started looking at Relena as less of an annoyance and actually started cherishing her company... but he wasn't going to let happiness slip through his fingers again. Duo would have wanted it that way.
Relena smiled at him as he kissed the back of her hand and pulled him into a soft embrace. The painkillers were already taking effect and she knew that she wouldn't be able to keep her eyes open much longer. "Heero... I need to rest. I'm sorr--"
"Shh..." He said, silencing her with a soft kiss. "Rest then... I'll be here when you wake."
She simply nodded and glanced to the small bundle that lay wrapped in a bassinette nearby. "Your son..."
He smiled then, understanding. He moved to the bassinette and gingerly lifted the blanket-wrapped newborn in his arms, then moved back towards the bed. Kneeling beside it, he held the boy where she could see, and immediately saw tears of joy spring to her eyes. "He's beautiful, `Lena... just like you." He saw the whispered 'I love you' more than he heard it before she finally succumbed to the painkillers and drifted off to sleep. Pulling a chair close, he seated himself and stared in wonder at the infant in his arms.
He traced one finger along the cupid's bow lips and the tiny nose... then along the spun-silk hair that capped the small head in a cushion of soft brown. He smiled faintly, shaking his head... it was a perfect blend of his own dark tresses and Relena's deep blonde. His heart nearly stopped in the next instant when the child stirred, and he found himself being stared at by a pair of deep indigo eyes. Not the normal blue that most children are born with... no, this was a soft blend of cobalt blue and bright violet. If he looked close enough, he could see the flecks of colour glittering in the boy's eyes.
Something in him realized, before he even felt the questioning brush in his mind from Quatre, then the stunned response as the other pilot realized what he was seeing. He looked down then, his voice a mere whisper in the silent room. "Welcome back, Duo."
* * *
~Owari
